Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! Or anything else that probably sounds like you could make some money off of it.
Summary: Arnold can't decide which is harder: Raising a baby or figuring out his feelings for Helga.
Companion Piece to this story is called From the Dugout.
Previous Chapter's Soundtrack: All Shook Up by Avila
This Chapter's Soundtrack: Just For Now by Imogen Heap
Chapter 5:
"Of Big Reveals and Bigger Confessions"
Mid December.
"Whew, boy we are in the home stretch! Just another week, and then winter break is here!" Gerald exclaimed as he leaned casually against the locker beside Arnold's.
The blond went about retrieving his books without offering his friend a glance, "Oh goody, then the fun can really begin."
Gerald frowned at his companion's flat tone, "Hey, Mr. Grouchy Pants, I thought having sex again was going to improve your attitude, not turn you into a Grinch."
Arnold shut his locker and shot Gerald a slanted look, "It was just a one time thing, Gerald," Arnold paused before amending thoughtfully, "I mean, one night anyway-
"-Ew.-"
"-And besides, its got nothing to do with that."
Gerald gave Arnold an unconvinced stare, "Yeah right."
Arnold rubbed at his eyes, "No, really it isn't."
"So, you're telling me it's been two weeks and you're not chomping at the bit yet?"
"Well, first of all, considering the last wait was months long…yeah, I think I can tough it out," Arnold quipped before continuing, "and, second of all, I just don't think it's wise to start up a whole physical thing with Helga when I'm not even sure how I really feel about her. Not to mention I have no idea where she stands in all this."
"Okay, well I can understand that. Now, explain the attitude Scrooge."
Arnold rolled his eyes, "Look, it's just Henry is almost crawling, so we've been baby proofing the house. Plus, we've got midterms we've been studying for, and we've got Christmas at two different houses this year. It's just a lot of stuff going on, and we're both a little bit stressed out that's all."
"If you say so, man."
A few days before Christmas.
"I'm so glad we opted out of getting each other gifts this year," Helga said as she finished taping up a brightly wrapped box.
Arnold peaked over his shoulder as he rolled some wrapping paper out, "Tell me about it. This whole getting stuff for people together is much easier, too."
Helga nodded in response, even though he had already turned back to his gift and didn't see the motion, "Although, I'd say I'm exempt of ever getting you a gift again. You know, considering I birthed you a son and all."
Arnold shot her a feigned, half lidded look, "Right, because I had nothing to do with that or anything."
"Details."
Arnold rolled his eyes in amusement, "Well, anyways, I'm glad we decided on doing Christmas Eve at your parents instead of cramming it all in on one day. Christmas Day is going to be pretty crazy as it is this year."
"It wasn't so bad last year. And Henry is too young to be much of a fuss anyway."
"Yeah, well we're going to have a few extra guests this year at our house."
"Oh?" Helga inquired as she grabbed another gift for wrapping.
"Mm-hmm, Mr. Hyunh's daughter and her family are coming this year."
The distinct sound of wrapping paper suddenly ripping cut through the room, "Huh?" Arnold looked over at her in confusion, and Helga recovered quickly, "Uh, I just had…no idea that Mr. Hyunh had a daughter, hehe. That's…so great!"
Arnold appeared to accept her response before turning back to his own task, "Yeah it really is."
"Um…so, how come she didn't visit last year?" Helga asked as casually as possible.
"Well, she moved to San Francisco after she graduated college and that's where she met her husband Dave. They have a little girl who is about three now, actually. Anyway, they can't afford to visit very often, plus Mai has an adoptive family that she splits her time with, too. Mr. Hyunh tries to go and visit them when he can, but it's nice when she gets to visit here."
"Yeah, that's great."
Arnold gave her a quick smile, "You'll get to hear Mr. Hyunh's story about her, too. It's really an amazing one."
"Oh, I bet it is," Helga finished lamely as her brain went into panic mode.
Christmas morning.
"Alright, Buddy! We've got you…all dressed for your first Christmas!" Arnold said cheerfully as he lifted his son up from the changing table, "You had such a good time at Grandpa and Grammie's last night, too!"
"We already to head down for breakfast?" Helga peaked in, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible.
On the inside, she felt as if she was about to hurl.
They made their way down to the kitchen to eat, and all throughout the meal Helga was on Red Alert. Her whole body felt tense as she awaited the dreaded knock at the door.
'Okay, c'mon Helga ol' girl, it is not that big of a deal! There is no way she's going to remember it was you. It was a long time ago and it's not like you told her your name. So, quit being such a spaz and act like a normal person!' Helga mentally convinced herself and was able to carry on through the meal.
She had slowly begun to relax as a few presents were unwrapped, and she was enjoying watching Stella help Henry open up his next gift when the knock came. She tensed up as Mr. Hyunh jumped up to answer the door. The small family entered in and were greeted warmly and as Arnold approached the petite woman, Helga tried to be as inconspicuous as possible by collecting the discarded wrapping paper.
"Mai, it's so great to see you," Arnold smiled as he embraced the pretty dark-haired woman.
"Oh, it has been too long since I last saw you…you got so tall!" She laughed.
She introduced her family and inquired of his own. Arnold gestured to Henry, who was still being held by Stella, "This is my son, Henry. And his mom is…Helga, hey come here and meet Mai and her family."
Helga froze for a moment before turning to face them, giving a nervous smile, "Oh, hi there. It's, uh, it's very nice to meet you. Mai, was it?"
The woman stared in awe at Helga before approaching her slowly, "Oh my…it's you."
A moment later, Mai had embraced Helga tightly and the blonde was left wide-eyed and panic stricken, "Uh…"
Everyone, including Arnold, watched the scene with great confusion. The young man looked at Helga with puzzlement, "Helga, what's going on?"
"Hey, I don't know," Helga insisted before Mai suddenly pulled back, and gripped her shoulders.
"I never thought I'd see you again," Mai said as tears swam in her eyes, "I didn't think I'd get the chance to thank you for what you did for me," at that, she hugged her again, "Oh Angel, my Christmas Angel."
Arnold went stock still, "What?"
Helga paled and shoved herself out of the embrace, "No, I…I don't know what you're talking about. I think you're confusing me for someone else."
Mai shook her head, "I could never forget you. What you gave me…"
"Oh my God, "Arnold muttered, "It's true, all of it was true."
Helga looked over at him with a distressed expression, "Arnold…," she opened her mouth to speak further, but no words came out. He looked over to her and his dawned-on expression fell to one of indignation before he stormed out of the room. Helga helplessly looked at Stella, who was watching everything with wide eyes, before breathing out, "Stella, could you please watch Henry for a bit."
Helga didn't wait for a response before exiting the room after Arnold.
Arnold got up to his room and slammed the door behind him. Helga wasn't far behind, and when she entered, she saw him pacing back and forth. She closed the door quietly behind her and turned towards the young man who had yet to even acknowledge her presence.
Helga took a deep breath, "Arnold, look-
Arnold whirled around angrily, "So, everything you said on the rooftop of FTi was true wasn't it?"
Helga was frozen in place, "Uh, I thought we said it was a, um…it was a heat of-
"Cut the crap Helga," Arnold snapped, "And just tell me something straight for once. Was it all true, yes or no?"
Helga's gaze dropped to the floor, "…Yes. Everything I said was true."
"Oh my God," Arnold uttered as he began his pacing again. He ran a hand through his hair as he said in a mixed tone of annoyance and disbelief, "I can't believe that all this time you've been in love with me and-
Helga regained her ground as her temper flared up, "Hey, I never said I was still in love with you."
Arnold shot her a look and their eyes held for a moment. He looked as if he was going to challenge that claim before he appeared to grudgingly accept it. With a sigh he looked away, and put his hands at akimbo, "What else have you done for me then? What else is there that you're keeping from me?" When Helga remained stubbornly quiet, Arnold gave a sigh of aggravation and turned towards her, "What on earth did I do to make you feel that way about me? What made me so special to merit that sort of affection, huh?"
Helga squirmed under his gaze, "Feelings are relative. You can't really…explain those sorts of things."
Arnold glared as he crossed his arms, "I think I deserve to know. Of everything you've probably kept from me all these years, I deserve to at least know why it's me."
At that, Helga sighed in defeat and went over to sit on the bed. She kept her head down as she started to speak, "Do you remember when Olga had been a student teacher? And how she had told that embarrassing bed wetting story about me?"
Arnold shifted uncomfortably where he stood, "Um, yes? But, what does that have to do with all this?"
Ignoring his question, Helga continued on, "You see, the reason why I had that problem for so long was…it was because I had potty trained myself. I can remember being really little and seeing those Pull-Up commercials, and how those kids that were my age were 'Big Kids' because they didn't have to wear actual diapers anymore. But, no one had bothered to talk to me about it so…I just kind of figured it out on my own. I did pretty well for the most part when I was awake, but for a long time I had trouble when I was sleeping. After all, it's not like anyone had tried to teach me how to do it in the first place."
Arnold stared at her in shock, and his arms had dropped down to his sides, "Helga, I…I had no idea it had always been that bad with your family."
Helga gave a noncommittal shrug and pressed on, "I was basically invisible in my own house, and for that first part of my childhood, I didn't even known there was anything wrong with that. It had been the only thing I'd known, and I'd just thought that was simply how things were," She bit her lip and her eyes were still focused on the floor, though she could feel Arnold's burning gaze, "Then, one day, it all changed.
"It was my first day of preschool, and I seemed to be the only one who knew that. My parents were too busy fawning over Olga to care, and…I was used to it. I took my lunchbox and walked myself. It was raining out, and I didn't have a raincoat. I don't think I got one until I was maybe five or six years old. By the time I reached the preschool, I had lost my lunchbox and was soaking wet. And no one had noticed.
"It's so many different kinds of tragic that a little girl thought she didn't matter to anyone, and that that was how the world simply was. I just…I didn't know anything different from that," She looked up at him with blue eyes that swam with emotion, "but then I met you."
After a moment, she turned her gaze back down again and stared at her hands, "You were the first person to ever notice me for me. Not because I was another mouth to feed, or someone taking attention away from Olga.
"You paid me a compliment," she smiled softly and cast him a brief glance, "You liked my bow. You were nice to me, and went out of your way to make me feel better. Before that, I had never known what it felt like to be cared about, even a little bit.
"But, as quickly as I had learned the joy of being cared about, I had learned that I could be hurt as well. When I realized that someone could take that joy away, I reacted by being mean and loud and hurtful to people. Because, if I bullied other people and made them scared of me, then they wouldn't try to hurt me. They'd run away instead. But, that meant I had to treat you that way, too. It didn't matter how much I hated doing it, I was far too afraid of letting anyone know what was most important to me, because then they could hurt me.
"Yet, no matter what I did to you, you never stopped treating me like someone who was worth something. That I was someone who mattered," Helga looked up at him, and steadily held his gaze, even as a few tears fell down her cheeks, "So, that's why it was you, Arnold. Because you never stopped seeing that small glimpse of the person I was deep down," She looked away again and wiped at her tears, "And no matter how hard I tried, you wouldn't give up on me, because…you're just a stubborn, Football Head."
After a moment, Arnold came and sat down beside her. He reached his arm out to comfort her, "Helga.."
The girl jerked away and angrily snapped, "I don't want your pity, Arnold."
He frowned, "I don't pity you Helga, but I can certainly feel sorry for what you had to go through. Nobody deserves that," He paused for a moment, "Look, I-
"You wanted an explanation, and you got one. I'm done talking about this."
"We can't just ignore this," Arnold protested.
"Look, I don't want you treating me differently and us being all weird about this. Besides it doesn't matter, all of this is in the past anyway," Helga replied heatedly.
"Is it?" Arnold asked boldly. Helga stared at him cautiously, but said nothing in return. He continued, "Do you still have feelings for me, Helga?"
"I said, I'm done talking about this," Helga gritted stubbornly and got up to leave.
Arnold furrowed his brows in determination as he got up from the bed as well, "Well, I'm not done talking about this," Helga went to grab the door knob, when Arnold evenly stated, "I care about you, Helga. A lot."
Helga paused for a moment and then faced him, offering an unconvinced look, "But…?"
Arnold gave a slight shrug, "No 'but'."
Skeptical, Helga said, "That's great that you 'care' about me and all, but that's already a given. I am Henry's mother, after all."
Instead of replying, Arnold closed the distance between them and brought his hands to cup her face and pull her lips to his. He kissed her deeply, and rather convincingly, for a few moments before he pulled back, "I care about you, Helga."
She stared up at him with a soft, vulnerable expression, "Caring is nice and all, but…"
Arnold traced his thumb across her cheek, "It's all I know for sure right now. It's all I've got."
Helga nodded slowly before stepping out of the embrace and exiting the room, leaving Arnold there with nothing but his thoughts, emotions, and no idea what to do next.
Ugh, I've been agonizing over this confrontation for weeks, folks. Thus, the long wait. I still don't know that I did Helga justice, but I also wanted to maybe offer a fresh take on the very overly done explanation of her feelings. Blah.
Also, you guys are so funny. Most of my reviews have something pertaining to last chapter's lack of protection. I love how so many people jumped on that lack of detail. Will it come up? Will it just be one of those things that authors omit simply cause strapping a condom on never seems to sound very sexy? Will Helga wind up pregnant AGAIN?
Haha, don't worry guys I will address this issue in the next chapter. It was deliberate.
And, FINALLY and just really...you guys are so amazing. I mean, just the fact that there are 60 reviews and there have only been four chapters? I want you guys to know I feel so blessed to have you all read this story and really enjoy it. I know there are many fics out there with the same kinda story line, so it means a lot that you take the time to read mine. I appreciate you guys so much!
Lots of love!
LTWF247