Saavik:

I kept quiet for the next few days, focused on my work. David didn't notice and nothing changed between us. I watched him closely as I worked. He seemed so normal. I knew it was true, I seen it myself but I just couldn't believe it was true. David was in love with me, yet he didn't show it so well. I was confused in my own feelings, in bed at night I started thinking deeply on our relationship instead of my work.

The days rolled away and the Grissom's journey continued to Genesis.

More than anything I couldn't shake the feeling of my lips pressing to his, how good it had felt, and as much as I tried to deny the matter, I wanted that feeling again. But I knew I couldn't tell him. As a Vulcan I was supposed to respect the gifts I was born with and use them only when needed. Using the mind meld was a violation of this, and at heart I was afraid if I told David he'd hate me for what I'd done and reject me.

I'd been thinking over all this regularly, and on one particular day I was thinking over it again in the lift alone on my way to the mess hall at lunch time as was normal. Especially I was thinking of the kiss, I was longing after it again. Senselessly I lifted my hand delicately up to my lips and traced around the outline, feeling where I'd placed them onto his. No, no, no. I thought to myself suddenly and abruptly wrenching my hand away from my lips. I mustn't think on it, I can't. I've done wrong but the past is the past. Forget what happened. But I knew I already that the longing for a kiss again was too great, and that longing would not be satisfied until I could press my lips to his once again.

A complication arose as I walked into the mess hall at lunch time and was faced with a sight I wasn't very prepared for with my confused thoughts still on my mind.

There was David standing and smiling as the two Betazoid twin sisters and Ensign O'Hara swarmed around giggling and chatting.

This confused me even more. It had come quite quickly to my realization when we departed on our journey that David Marcus was what many species considered attractive, and he'd been given a great deal of attention because of this. I'd taken into note that he was always very polite but I never looked into the matter anymore than that for it hadn't meant anything more. Until now.

A week ago I'd not cared as girls surrounded David, but a week ago David was a guy that was my friend and work colleague, now he was a guy that was madly in love with me.

My mind was already confused enough but the sight of David flirting pulled me off the edge. Still I remained myself, ignoring him and the girls as I proceeded to get lunch. How? I questioned in my mind, already cracking as I let a glance over at him slip past. Does he really feel that way about me? I couldn't make sense of it how he hid his feelings so perfectly, it would seem he was enjoying the girls company. Yet I could not denying what I'd let myself know, in his head and in his heart his true feelings were for me and for me alone.

I sat and ate by myself, and deliberately tried to ignore everyone and everything around me, especially the shrill laughs of the three women. Yet try as I did my thoughts still remained confused, and this confusion lead to me becoming frustrated and annoyed.

It barely came into my notice when David came and sat down opposite me with his own lunch. I glanced up at him and merely nodded in acknowledgement.

"Are you all right?" He asked me, obviously taking into notice my lack of engagement.

"I am fine, thank you, Doctor Marcus." I told him darkly allowing my mind to tear away from my deep thoughts slightly.

He looked up and stared very suddenly at me.

Bath'paik. In my native language I cursed inside my head, I hadn't been calling him Doctor Marcus for weeks, considering him my friend I'd called him David. But now due to my frustration the formality had slipped out, and it didn't make matters any better for me.

"Forgive me." I said quickly, keeping my face clear. "I'm tired." I looked away from him and down at my food, though I didn't feel much like eating.

"What's wrong?" I heard him ask. Glancing up I saw his face showed curiosity and concern.

"Nothing, I just haven't been sleeping that well." I lied. Or was it a lie? I certainly hadn't been sleeping well these last few days.

"Neither have I." He told me. I guess it was for comfort, a Human effort to try make me feel better.

"Because of Genesis?" I asked, trying to turn my thoughts away from the mind meld.

"Yeah…I guess so." He nodded thoughtfully; his glaze was no longer upon me but slightly over my shoulder, staring at the wall, and he had a somewhat sad and lost look in his eyes.

For a first time, I was uncomfortable in his presence, before I'd been nothing but content around him in work or recreational time, but now everything was different. How could I ever go back? I wondered.

I hastened to finish my meal quickly and stood up to leave. "I have to go back to work." I told him.

He nodded. "I'll see you on the bridge."

So normal. I thought to myself as I left the room. Whatever am I going to do?