David:
Saavik hadn't been on the bridge; in fact she apparently hadn't been anywhere outside her quarters today. So that evening I decided to confront her, and I wasn't going to leave until she'd speak with me.
I stood outside her door, feeling nervous, and feeling a fool for letting Ensign O'Hara get to me like that. I wasn't sure if I could tell Saavik how I feel. But the memory kept coming back to me, of how she looked when she saw O'Hara kissing me; so pale, with tears studded in her eyes, and I couldn't bear to see her look like that, so at least I had to tell her I never wanted to hurt her.
There was no point in just standing outside the door, looking and feeling like an idiot, so eventually I summed up the courage to let myself known over her speaker.
"Saavik, its David" I told her quietly speaking through the control panel on the wall. "May I come in please?"
There was a pause for a while, and then finally she answered. "David, this is not a very convent time. I'm very busy." She was holding her voice together with a clear and perfect tone, but underneath there was something slightly shaky.
"Hell you are, damn you. Saavik I'm not just gonna leave, I have to talk to you." I knew perfectly well she was just making excuses, and I couldn't help but think it was because I'd hurt her. So without anything else I entered promptly. Thankfully her door was now unlocked unlike the night before.
She was startled as I entered. And it struck me to see her standing in the center of the room, dressed plainly in a long robe. I wanted nothing better than to run to her because I felt so bad, but although her face was as perfectly motionless as ever there was something very sad in her eyes and the way she was looking widely at me.
I was about to make the best effort I could to show her how sorry I was but she cut in on me before I could say anything.
"David, I should apologize for my behavior last night, it was inconsiderate of me."
Well, this is unexpected. I thought after her sudden apology. And I was supposed to be the one coming here to say sorry. "It's alright." I babbled out. "It's a public place all the same."
"Never the less it was inconsiderate of me to leave so suddenly, I assessed you would most likely want privacy. I've realized perhaps I'm preventing you socially. Therefore I will not spend so much time with you in order to give you privacy."
"No, Saavik." I yelled at her. "That's not how it is. I know what it must have looked like to you but that's not how things are, please Saavik, you've gotta-"
"Doctor Marcus, it really is no business I mine what you do in your recreational time, and I have absolutely no concern over what relationships you form and whom with. My only concern is our work, and so long as you are able to complete it when we arrive at Genesis I shall be utterly content." She retaliated, showing no discomfort from my yelling right in her face. She was as emotionless as always, yet in her eyes I couldn't shake the feeling that she was sad.
I looked at her disbelievingly. "You don't mean that. I hurt you the other night, and I'm sorry.
"Your apologizes are not needed, Doctor Marcus, for if you are referring to emotional hurt, I am a Vulcan, and as a Vulcan I do not feel."
"But Saavik, you don't know, you don't know how I feel-"I tried to explain to her, not wanting to give up.
"Doctor Marcus." She cut in on me once more, this time sternly and impatiently. "What you feel means nothing to me. We are work colleagues, and nothing more." She turn away briefly looking at the pile on work on the table. "Now, if you have any consideration for me at all you will leave this moment to let me carry on with my work."
I'd hurt her. I knew I had. And I realized I'd hurt her to come to believe that she meant very little too me. I wanted to tell the truth then and there, but I knew she wouldn't let me. And I couldn't think what else to say.
Saavik continued staring at me, then she seemed to come to a decision, and turning from me she sat down and started working.
"Goodnight, Doctor Marcus." She said forcefully and finally to me, without looking up.
I hated myself more than any other living thing in this universe, but I had nothing else to do than to turn away and leave her.