I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to update and I hope you forgive me. Thank you all so much for your reviews, I love to hear feedback from my readers. Here we go with another chapter. Enjoy…

Glaring at the carrot before me I slammed the knife down again and again. I bit down hard on my lip as the sharp edge of the knife skimmed my fingers. Stupid bikini. Stupid Nessie. Stupid over protective wolfs. I pressed down harder on the knife.

"Claire?" I let out a curse as someone placed a hand on my shoulder, "Claire hun? Are you alright?"

Swirling round with the knife still in my hand I glared into the soft eyes of my Aunt Em, her lips were curled downwards in an almost rare frown. Letting my arm fall to my side I tried to smile apologetically at her but it came out as more of a grimace. My heart stuttered slightly in my chest as I heard the excited shouts from Harry and Billy as they chased Sam around the garden. I wanted to be young again. To care about nothing but chocolate mud pies and lazy afternoons playing chase with Quil. Being young was simple. It was the growing up part that was a pain in the ass.

"I-I-" I placed the knife on the worktop carefully, "I'm fine. Just tired is all."

"Are you sure? You came back so early today and then barely spoke to the boys when they tried to wind you up. Quil looked worried. Are you sure everything is fine?" Emily leant forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, her voice soft as she regarded me evenly. She had been the best aunt, mother, friend that I could ever have wished for in my life. I hated shutting her out.

Curling my hands into fists I let my nails dig into the palm of my hand as Quil's soft expression flashed in my mind. I hated ignoring him too, hated pushing away his hand when he came near but I could not get rid of the twisting feeling in my gut, the sharp pain in my heart. The feeling of rejection. He had never rejected me before. Truthfully I hadn't thought he could.

"Quil is always worried," I failed to keep the bitter edge out of my voice, "It's his job to protect me, right? To look out for me? To be my best friend?" Wiping my hands furiously on my shorts I ducked my head as I leant against the counter. My head thumped.

"Darling, he loves you," she smiled slightly as if not understanding my dilemma. Of course she didn't. My Uncle adored her, peppered her with kisses. His love for her was unconditional, like Quil's was for me but there was a spark between Sam and Emily. A gold chord that seemed to glow as they looked into each others eyes. I wanted that. I wanted what they had but I would not be selfish, I couldn't.

"How do you know that? How does he even know that? He hasn't dated in over a decade!" It felt surprisingly freeing to get all my emotions out in the open, to tell Emily what had been swimming around my head for years.

"You want him to date?" Emily's face was twisted with confusion as she placed a calming hand on my arm again. The thought of Quil turning up with another girl by his side filled my mind, a nauseous feeling clawed at my insides. Imagining him holding another girl close to his chest, smiling only for her made me want to find the nearest toilet and vomit.

"I don't know," I finally said, "I don't really know anything, do I? I've grown up with this absurd, magical family. Quil's adoration seems normal to me. Too normal. This should be strange Em, I want-" I broke off suddenly as if afraid of my own thoughts.

"What do you want darling?" her eyes were kind. My tongue darted out to lick my dry lips as I curled my hands into fists. In the distance I heard the slight grumble of a car as it came up the driveway.

"I just want him to love me for me-"

"But he does. You know how imprinting works. It's a gradual thing. The adoration he feels for you, the love that's a gradual thing. Not something the imprint can force upon him," Her voice was insistent, almost terrified that I could think such abnormal thoughts. Maybe I was over reacting. Or maybe I had never really fit in amongst the wonderful magic that seemed to consume the Uley household. Maybe I was just playing the part that had been thought up for me before I could even make my own decisions.

"Yeah well," I wiped my palms on my shorts as I glanced out of the window to see Sam throwing Harry onto his back, "Maybe it would be easier to accept his love without the imprint. Maybe I just want to date and have some normal experiences for just a little while."

Before Emily had the chance to speak I turned and walked out of the front door. My gut twisted as Quil's laughing eyes met mine, they immediately darkened. Brady messed up his hair on his way past as I flopped down to sit on the porch steps. Naturally Quil joined me.

"Hey," I breathed out a sigh of relief as his hands found mine. As always his presence was comforting, his warmth was draped around me like my own personal blanket. Perhaps I had hidden beneath it for too long.

"Are you alright?" his thumb rubbed soothing circles on my hand as he spoke, "You've been too quiet today."

"Did you ever think about dating while I was growing up," I blurted suddenly. Beside me he seemed to stiffen as I turned to face him. His eyes searched mine as if unsure of my question. Around us spits of rain began to fall to the ground. It was absurd how quickly the weather could change in La Push, it put me on edge.

"Never," his voice was hard as he squeezed my hand again. As expected he had answered with one word. Over the years I had realised it was his way to end a conversation, his way of telling me that he didn't want to talk about a subject at that particular moment. Normally I let him get away with it. Normally.

"Don't you think that's strange?" I almost whispered.

"All my time was spent patrolling. Any free time I had I wanted to spend with you," he sounded unusually vulnerable, his eyes seemed to burn a hole in the side of my face. I never wanted to hurt him, I couldn't live with myself if I did.

"But we're just friends," the word felt wrong in my mouth, like a bad taste that I couldn't get rid of, "Don't you wish you had went out and met girls? Do you want to?" Instantly I wanted him to tell me off for being silly, that of course he loved me, of course he spent every day thinking about how my lips would taste against his, of course he didn't want to meet other girls.

"I don't want to meet other girls. But yes," he sighed as he looked out into the distance, "We're just friends. But I'm happy, aren't you?"

It was the gap I had been wanting for months, the silence to fill where I would tell him how my feelings had come to develop for him. How I had been thinking only of him and his lazy smile as I had kissed fish boy. He was all I wanted. But he didn't want me, not yet, because he didn't think I was ready. He couldn't fall for me on his own. He couldn't take the first step out of fear of hurting me. Everything was always about me all the time. Maybe for once I just wanted it to be about him, about his true feelings.

He was always expected to love me. He was always expected to look after me when the rest of the world was busy. Maybe if all the expectations were gone he wouldn't need me quite so much. I knew I would still need him, that was where the problem lay, or more specifically the magic. And I loathed it.

Magic wasn't Princes and Princesses with happy endings as I had grown up believing. It was cruel. It dictated my whole life. It ruined Quil's life- forced him to look after a four year old girl and turn into a wolf in the blink of an eye. Magic was all about expectations, and I was sick fed up of them. Magic was the scars on Emily's face and Leah's cold, bitter heart. But magic was also the ghost of Quil's lips on my forehead and the feeling of warmth that grabbed my heart whenever he was near. But that was all it was, just magic.

Instead of voicing these thoughts I found myself slipping back into the familiar role, the role that had been destined for me before I was even born, before free will even came into the equation. I rested my head in the crook of Quil's neck, inhaling his familiar pine scent.

"Yeah," I lied, "I'm happy."

Sitting there with Quil made me more determined to be me, the real me. Maybe he would fall in love with the real Claire, the one that he had failed to see in front of him for so long. My heart squeezed almost painfully tight in my chest at the thought of him throwing caution to the wind and falling inanely in love with me without the push of the imprint.

"I'm going to go on a date with someone," I murmured abruptly, "I think you should too."

I had a plan. It was stupid, reckless and possibly had the potential to break my heart but I had to know the truth. Could I fall in love with someone else? Could he? Maybe we had taken each other for granted for too long. Maybe facing reality head on instead of hiding in the shadows of magic would show us how wrong everyone else in the world was for us, how perfect we were for each other. I hoped.

Taking a deep breath I took out my phone to call Nessie. I had a feeling I was going to need her help.

What had I just done?

Thoughts?