Chapter Nine- Aftermath
Author's Note: Sorry this took so long to post. My computer was being fixed. I was without a computer for almost three and a half weeks! I forgot how much I actually used my computer! Hopefully it's all fixed now and everything will be great! I hope there are still interested readers in this story!
I wanted to thank those of you who reviewed the last chapter.
I hope everyone enjoys chapter nine! Remember to leave reviews and feed back!
Thanks again for reading! L.A.
"So school is going all right?"
Buffy looked out the window. She was at her last therapy session. Coincidently, that day was also the seven month anniversary of the crash. It took so long for Buffy to talk about the crash and Stacy.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"School, how is it?" Glory Murk asked her client for a second time. Glory was young but quite accomplished. She graduated with an undergraduate degree from Yale and pursued her master degree from Harvard. She was preparing to leave the country and get her doctorial in Europe somewhere Buffy had never heard of. Glory had authored several books in physiology that catered to adolescence and trauma. She was as good as therapist came.
"School is well. It's all right. I like my teachers. I have all of my classes with all of my best friends. I even have gym with Angel." Buffy explained.
"That's great," the older blonde said with a smile. Glory reflected back to her first meeting with Buffy. She could hardly get Buffy to say two words. That insecure girl was now as open as a book. The first month and half of therapy was difficult. Buffy didn't talk about the accident or Stacy. She focused on Rupert and her feelings towards her own father. She did this as a shield and Glory knew it. Buffy was trying to make herself comfortable with Glory before she poured her heart out about her best friend's life and death.
"Are you going to do what we talked about?' Glory asked as she pushed her golden locks behind her shoulders.
"I bought a beautiful journal. The cover is a midnight blue silk with silver designs on it. It is very Asian looking. It's absolutely beautiful." Buffy smiled.
Glory returned her patient's smile. "That is excellent Buffy. We did talk about that a few weeks ago, but there was something else. Have you done the other thing we discussed?"
Buffy looked sheepishly at Glory and said nothing as she nodded her heard. She stared at Glory's certificate hanging on the wall from Harvard. It was framed in a cherry wood frame. Buffy continued to focus on the hanging as she answered Glory in words. "No, not yet."
Glory nodded silently. She knew Buffy hadn't done what they discussed. "That was our goal. That is the major thing we wanted to accomplish from these sessions. Why don't you think you have accomplished this?"
Sighing, Buffy took her focus away from the wall and focused on Glory. "I-I-I don't know. Angel and I were talking about it. He's going to bring me on Saturday. It's the only time he has free and he wants to come with me."
Glory glanced at her watch as Buffy talked to her. They were ten minutes over their time. "Buffy, our last session is now winding down. We only have a few more minutes left. I want you to do something for me. I want you to make me a promise. I want you to see me after you go with Angel."
"But today is our last session."
"I know, your right," Glory nodded. "But I would like to talk to you about that. It won't be here, or at least it doesn't have to be. We can go out for coffee or ice cream or something such as that. The location isn't as important as actually going to talk about it. Is that all right?"
Buffy agreed and left Glory's office. She walked outside on the steps of the building and waited fro Rupert to come and pick her up. She thought about her mixed feelings on ending her therapy sessions. She was glad that she didn't' have to mess up her study hall any more on Fridays. She did like Glory. Glory was blunt and young and didn't take excuses or beat around the bush with thongs. She just came out and said how she felt about things. Glory had brought on a side of Buffy that people hadn't seen in a long while.
"Hi Buffy, sorry I'm late. Traffic was horrible," Rupert apologized as she got into the car. "I hope you weren't waiting too long."
"No, I have only been out here for a few minutes. Our session ran late. How was your day?" Buffy asked, changing the subject.
Rupert smiled. He was thrilled with the progress that Buffy made in her therapy. He liked the new persona she was donning. Buffy showed Rupert more respect and love over the course of those months than she had any other time in her life knowing him. "It was all right. Glad it's over and it's the weekend. How was your session?"
"It was all right. She wants me to call her after Saturday.
"That's' nice of her. I wish that you would let your mother or I go with you. We would like to be there for you."
Buffy sighed. She didn't want to get into a deep conversation about Saturday. After all, she and Glory had just talked about it. "I know but Angel and I want to spend some time together and well, I want him to be there and he wants to be there."
Rupert could sense the emotion in her voice and didn't like it. He changed the subject. "Isn't homecoming tonight?"
"Yeah. Angel is picking me up around seven-thirty. Is it all right if I stay out until eleven-thirty?"
"Of course it is. You know if there is any thing you don't feel comfortable with or if there is any drinking-"
"To call you and mom and you will pick me up. Yes, yes, I know." Buffy answered.
Rupert slowed down and then stopped for the red light. He looked at Buffy as he quickly cleaned his glasses. "We both just love you Buffy and want you to be happy and safe." He said putting his glasses back on his face and remained waiting for the light to change.
Buffy returned her step-father's look of concern and offered a smile. "I know you both care about me and love me."
Rupert nodded as the light changed to green. He turned onto Revello Drive and pulled into the driveway. Before he had the chance to remove his seat belt, Buffy spoke again.
"Just to let you know, I also love both of you too." Rupert was truly shocked. He could feel the tears form behind his eyes. This was the first moment in their history that she had recognized an emotion towards Rupert. He threw his arms around his eldest daughter and hugged her. To his surprise, she hugged back almost as tight as he hugged her.
"Do you remember last year?" Angel asked Buffy at their spot on the beach away from the bon fire and the crowd. Angel sat on the rock along the water. Buffy sat on his lap. She was wearing his letterman jacket. They could see the bon fires burning in the distance.
"Yes. This time last year I was incredibly anti-everything. You brought me here and it changed everything. We talked a lot and you-" Angel chime din as he interrupted Buffy.
"And I began to fall in love with you." Angel smiled. It was true. He knew her attitude was just a front she put up and that she was not as she acted.
Buffy looked at Angel and kissed him softly on his cheek. "Really? I thought you were teaching me about 'starfish?'"
Angel held Buffy tight to his body. "Yeah, 'starfish.'" The sound of the waves was the only thing that could be heard before Angel spoke again. "You have changed so much from last year."
"Gee, do you think?" she asked sarcastically.
"Totally! I mean there was the attitude thing."
"Yes, I think you have so nicely pointed that out."
Angel smiled. "Right, but that is just one thing."
Buffy was confused. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you are completely a different person. Besides dropping the attitude thing, you have built a better relationship with your parents, especially your step-father."
Buffy nodded and looked at her hands that were intertwined with Angels'. "Well, yeah. He's the only father I have. I know that eh has always loved me and always will." This was the first major issue she and Glory had come to. She thought that Hank Summers would never be in her life again and Rupert Giles would always be there for her. "What else do you have up your sleeve?"
Angel looked into the ocean. The full moon was reflected in the water. "I mean, my point is that you don't act childish any more. You have grown up so much, especially since-" Angel stopped. He didn't want to finish the sentence in fear that it would make Buffy upset.
"The accident?" Buffy interjected.
Angel nodded. He hated bringing the subject up because he knew how it upset Buffy would feel. "Yes. My point is that the girl I fell in love with is turning into a beautiful thoughtful courageous woman. I love the girl that you were and love the woman you're becoming Buffy."
Buffy held Angel's hand tighter and continued to watch the waves. She was silent. She didn't like what Angel had told her. She loved the fact that Angel loved her so much and thought so highly of her. She didn't like how he pointed out to her that she was becoming an adult. The thought frightened her.
Buffy and Angel sat in silence as they both concentrated on different parts of the ocean. After a while they walked back to the bon fire and rejoined their friends.
Buffy scanned the crowd for her friends as Angel walked towards his.
"Buf! Over here," Willow yelled.
Buffy remained with Willow and Oz for the rest of the event. She then walked over to Angel's Saab. He was waiting for her. She opened the car door and sat down.
"Are we ready to go?" He asked.
"Yeah, is your clock right?" Buffy asked.
"Hmmm, yeah it is, why?"
"Because it says it is only ten forty- five. I don't have to be home until eleven-thirty. Do you want to do something?"
Angel wanted nothing more than to spend more time with Buffy but he declined. "Buf, you know I would love to but we're leaving early tomorrow, remember? I think we should rest. I have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be really hard."
Buffy looked out of the window and into darkness. She knew Angel was right. She thought it was probably more sensible to go home early. "I guess you're right. What time do you want to leave?"
"Eight. It's a few hours away, plus you wanted to show me a few things before, right?"
Buffy nodded as he pulled behind Joyce's SUV. "So I guess I'll see you at eight then. Good night."
Angel got out of the car and walked Buffy to the door. He held onto her hand as they stood on her porch. They shared a quick kiss. "I'll see you early tomorrow morning. I love you Buf."
"I love you too."
As they let go of one another's hand, Angel turned back towards her. "And Buffy, try not to be nervous, tomorrow will be fine."
"So that's were you used to live?" Angel asked as they sat in front of her former home in LA.
"Yeah. It seemed so much bigger than. We didn't have the garage or the third story addition. Dawn and I spend hours playing on that tree in the back. It was so perfect to climb. And Oz used to live in that blue house, except it wasn't blue then, it was kind of a light brown, almost tan."
"Is there anyone in the area who would remember you?"
"I-I don't think so."
They stayed for a few more moment until she gave him another address to go to.
"Park across the street, don't park right in front of the house." She ordered Angel.
"Who lives here?" He asked as he followed Buffy's directions. The house was large and beautiful.
They sat in Angel's car and as she watched two young girls and a younger boy playing in the front yard. She couldn't make out what they were playing but it looked like hide and go seek or tag. She couldn't take her focus off the children that she would never know. Just then a pretty dark haired woman, who appeared to be in her thirties or very early forties, walked to the porch. The children picked up the few toys that were outside. She smiled as the children put the toys to the side and continued to play. Buffy was about to tell Angel whose house they were at when a car pulled into the driveway. Tears formed in her eyes as the man got out of the car and greeted the woman who appeared to be his wife and then his children.
"Buffy, Buf? Are you all right?" Angle asked as he saw her expression.
Buffy wiped her tears away and looked at the floor of Angel's car. "That's my father. We-we can leave now."
Angel put his hand on top of Buffy's. He didn't want to be there any longer. He could see the pain in Buffy's face. "All right. You just tell me where I am going, ok?"
She nodded. As Angel drove away, Buffy noticed Hank Summers look at her in the eye. She looked away. She wiped her face and gave Angel directions to another house. "You can pull into the driveway of this house."
"And whose house is this?"
Buffy closed her eyes. "It's Stacy's parents' house."
Angel parked the car and he followed Buffy out of the car. They walked up to the front door and knocked. There was no answer. She knocked once more and still there was no answer.
"No one must be home." Angel said.
Buffy reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope. "It's all right, I wrote them a letter. I also found some pictures that I think they would want to have. We can go know."
"Once more stop?" Angel asked.
Buffy swallowed hard and nodded her head as she gave directions to their last destination.
They reached the spot at one –thirty. It was a beautiful afternoon. The trees and flowers looked so radiant, so alive.
"Buffy, I think I found it." Angel said.
Buffy followed behind Angel. He did find it. "You struck gold, that's her."
Buffy knelt down on the grass. This was the first time ever she had been to Stacy's grave. She could not go to the services because she was still in the hospital when they took place. She traced the name along the stone with the tips of her fingers. She thought how the dates were too close together. Angel stepped back a bit to give Buffy her space.
"Stace, I finally came! Sorry it took me so long to visit you. Things have been, you know, hard. When I woke up from the accident I told people about being in heaven with you and you know, no one believed me! It was such a beautiful experience and no one believes me. I guess it is kind of far fetched but I know it happened." Buffy felt tears form but she continued talking at the grave of her dead friend.
"I'm going to see Dave Matthews in a month and a half. It is going to be so hard, to know that we were we were supposed to go that night, but I have to go, you know? I have to do these little things so they aren't hard things any more." Tears built up more. It became a little harder to talk but she continued anyways.
"Oz wanted to come too but he had family coming in from the east coast so his mom wouldn't let him. I know he wanted to be here so badly."
Finally, Buffy just lost control and began to cry hard. Her tears danced from her eyes, slid down her cheeks and fell onto Stacy's head stone.
"I miss you so much Stacy. You shouldn't have died. I wish you didn't die. I wish I could be dead with you. I wish Jonathan would have let me go with you to the train. I wish I could still talk to you and laugh with you and go on double dates with you. I wish that we could have seen Dave in concert together. I wish that you could be my maid of honor in my wedding, but you won't be and you can't be here, at least not physically."
Buffy wiped her eyes again and paused. Angel began to walk back over towards her but still stayed behind. He didn't want invade her space.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm mad that your dead. I'm pissed. You were sixteen. Sixteen years old! What kind of life did you have? What did you get to do? Not much and it isn't fair! You're still a kid, you were a kid. I'm so angry at you and with God; I didn't want you to leave me."
This was the first time Buffy had said these words out loud. She began to calm down after a few moments and finished her chat. "Well, I guess there is a plan for everything. I shouldn't be angry with you or God but I am. Maybe He as a bigger and better plan for you. Maybe he has things for you in heaven that you can't have or do here." Buffy smiled. "Maybe he wanted you to play soccer." Buffy smiled again as she remembered Stacy's first reaction being dead. She was excited she would get to play a sport she never got to play in her life because of her asthma.
Buffy thought again as she was getting ready to conclude her visit to the grave. Her eyes were finally dry as she continued. "I guess I'm not angry with you or with God. I was but I think I'm just sad now. I'm just sad. I'm sad that you are no longer with me, at least not in physical form. I-I remember the last thing you said to me before you went and boarded your train." Buffy thought about the words Stacy had spoken to her before they separated.
"Buffy, I love you. You are like a sister to me. I will see you again, even if this isn't your time. And if this isn't your time, know that I will always be with you."
"Stace, you know it wasn't my time. You will always be a sister to me. I know I will see you again. I know you'll always be with me." Buffy said as once again tears flowed freely from her eyes. She touched the headstone once more and traced the name and dates on it. She stood up and looked at the grave. Angel was on his way over to console her. "Stace, know that I will always love you too. I'm going to go and doing some living for the both of us now."
Angel put one arm around her shoulder. "Shhhhh, it's all right. We're going home now. Shhhhhh," he said as they walked to the car.