B for Bouncer

"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a bouncer!" Came McCoy's angry growl as he stalked after the Captain towards the exit of the Medical Bay. "Why don't you get one of Security to do it?"

Kirk gave a rather exasperated sigh before turning around to face his rather red faced Medical Officer. His eyes quivered away from Bones' face for a moment before the quickly flicked back as he gave a small smile. "Because not too many people are going to come and see him," he ended pathetically as he stared at the figure laying unconscious on the biobed in front of him.

McCoy narrowed his eyes slightly before turning his head to glare at the unconscious figure. "And what if one of you guests decides to come and look for him, what then, huh? Oh no wait, there not going too are they because you've decided to tell them that he's dead. I'm sure they're going to believe that when you tell it to them. When you come back here with a bloody nose don't say I didn't warn you so." And then without another word he turned and stalked off back towards one of his staff before barking out orders at them.

Jim cringed slightly at his tone before cautiously moving towards the Chief Medical Officer. He could really see him as a Captain, barking out orders at people, but he was far too hypospray happy to consider something like that. Jim didn't like his hypospray's, every time he did something wrong and came in with a simple nose bleed of some kind Bones would come up with some excuse to jab him in the neck with one of his hypo's. It was not a comfortable experience and it was one he was quite happy to miss out on.

"Bones, just make sure no one comes in who's not supposed to be here," the American pleaded. "Security's making sure that the ship's secure and that everyone is where they're supposed to be. I wouldn't ask you to do this for me unless it was completely necessary."

There was a pause before McCoy turned around again with one of his hypospray's in his hand. "I'm warning you Jim, if this guy wakes up or someone even tries to force their way in here I will hypo you're ass."

"Understood," Kirk responded hastily, but then a pause and a smile. "Thanks for this, Bones."

"Just get out."

"I'm just trying to say thank you."

"Out."

"Fine."

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" Came the loud shout from the Medical Bay as James T. Kirk was once again jabbed in the neck by one of Bones' hypospray's. It turned out that the guy had decided to wake up when he wasn't supposed too and it was then all down to Bones to try and sedate him again before he caused even more mess. When Kirk returned after the meeting and everyone was beamed back to their own ships to check up on things, McCoy had been true to his word and quickly pushed his captain towards one of the biobeds before quickly jabbing him with different hypospray's for different vaccines.

"Don't be such a child," Bones responded, glee hidden in his voice as he pushed Kirk back into a sitting position. "This one is a vaccine for Albright-Salzman syndrome."

"What-" he didn't even get a chance to ask as another hypospray was jabbed into his neck by Bones and there was a look of satisfaction in his eyes.

Another loud complaint from Kirk made several of the medical staff stop what they were doing before turning their heads curiously towards the source of the shouting. It wasn't unusual for them to see their Chief Medical Officer getting all hypospray happy on Jim, he explained to them on many occasions that it was a good form of stress relief. Kirk liked to also point out on these occasions that he was not okay with being a test subject for his vaccines.

Bones would only then go on to suggest that it was unlikely he would be catching any diseases anytime soon which would only gain him a rather angry glare from Kirk.

"Andronesian encephalitis," Bones continued as he picked up another hypospray from the table beside him. He turned to face Kirk once again and was about to jab him in the neck when suddenly the computer beside him gave the familiar soft beep.

Shoving Bones away from him rather quickly, Jim pressed the button and the familiar face of Sulu visualized on the screen. "Bridge to Captain Kirk, I heard you were down there getting hypo'd by Doctor McCoy."

Jim sent a glare in Bones' direction before his eyes swiveled back to the screen. "What do you want, Sulu?"

"We've picked up a distress signal nearby. We are unsure of the whole message, but apparently the ship was attacked and left stranded."

"I'll be up in a minute, Kirk out."

The image faded away and Kirk quickly turned his attention to McCoy just as he was jabbed in the neck again. "CUT IT OUT!"

Bones didn't say a word as he replaced the empty hypospray back on the table before waving towards the exit. All Kirk did was to glare at him in response before he quickly pushed himself into a standing position. Sending one last glare in Bones' direction he spun on his heels before stalking angrily from the medical bay, one hand rubbing his red neck the whole time.

AN: For those of you who don't know, a bouncer is normally this big and burly guy who stands in front of doors and restricted areas and it's there job to stop people going in who aren't allowed in there. And I just had to add in the hypospray's at some point in this, don't blame me. It's just too perfect the opportunity to miss out on.