Chapter Seventeen
Author's Note: I would like to thank lilmamaday, Kristine and Johanna for your thoughtful reviews. Again, they mean a lot to me, thank you all.
Author's note 2: "Because You Loved Me" belongs to Celine Dion or who ever wrote the song. I am not a fan but the song fits into a part towards the end of the chapter. It was the first song that came to my mind.
Author's Note 3: Enjoy this chapter! Please keep the reviews coming! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! Thanks again for reading!
"Are you sure you are all right with this? We don't have to go," Joyce asked Buffy as Buffy stood in Joyce's bedroom. She watched her mother pack her belongings and place them into an overnight bag. A painting Joyce had been looking for for years was being sold at an estate sale a few hours away. She and Rupert were going to try and purchase it for their home. Joyce felt a little guilty for leaving Buffy just a few days before she left for school.
"Mom, don't worry about it. I don't move to school for another few days. Go, get the painting you want. I'll be fine, maybe I'll finish packing too." Buffy tried to reassure her mother. The only thing she wasn't looking forward to was watching Dawn.
"All right. You have the number where your father and I will be staying, and you have our cell phone numbers."
"Mom, I've been home with Dawn before by myself. Don't worry about it."
Joyce zipped her bag and looked at Buffy. "Dawn is coming with us. I really want you to concentrate on packing so you will be all done by the time we get back. I'll leave you and William money for dinner for tonight and maybe enough to rent a movie. Have fun. We'll be back tomorrow."
Buffy followed Joyce downstairs and helped Dawn put her bag into the car. The three were all set to go. "Please find time to do some packing," Joyce told Buffy as she hugged her and got into the car. She, Rupert and Dawn waived good bye as Buffy and William stood on the porch also waiving. They watched as they drove away and could no longer be seen.
"What are you up to tonight?" William asked as they went back into the house.
"What do you mean? I have to pack tonight. I'm leaving for school in a few days." Buffy answered as she closed the door and followed William into the family room.
"Come on, are you really going to stay in tonight and pack when there is good fun to be had?" William asked.
Buffy thought he had a point. Joyce didn't want her to do all of her packing, she had said just do some.
"I guess I could do some packing this afternoon and then go out for some fun later."
William smiled. "Now you're talking!"
"You know, this is why there are so many underage kids drinking. No one in this area cares about real id," William explained as he and Buffy entered a bar. They used the same story that they used in the previous place to get Buffy in and to both of their amazement, it worked.
"I know. Oh well, what can you do about it?" She asked as they sat down at a table.
A waitress came over and asked them what they wanted to drink. "A diet coke please?" Buffy asked. The waitress looked at her kind of funny. No one ever came in and ordered just a diet coke.
"And rum. The lady will have a diet coke and rum. Beer for myself please," William explained.
The waitress gave them a strange look and went to get the drinks. Buffy just laughed.
"I didn't want rum.I don't even know what it tastes like," she explained with a half-smile.
"People in places like this find it hard to believe that customers don't come here to drink. Just sip it, if you don't like it, don't drink it." A grin found its way to William's face. "After all, I owe you drink for your 'birthday'," William said referring to the lie that had gotten them into the club and then the bar.
Buffy nodded as the waitress found her way back to the table. She then handed the drinks to William and Buffy.
"So you're pretty enough, why don't you have any boyfriends?" William asked after sipping his Heineken.
"Well, Xander, my last boyfriend and I broke up after we graduated," Buffy began to explain as she sipped her rum and diet coke. She made a face, took another sip and then continued. "We decided we would be better as friends. He was actually one of the first people I met when I first moved here. I miss him, I haven't heard from him since he left in June. Then there was Angel." She paused for a minute to take another sip.
William chuckled. "Angel? What kind of a wussy name is that?"
"The kind of wuss who was athletic and was the captain of the soccer teams and football teams for his last few years of high school. He is at NYU now and I think he wanted to studying journalism but I don't really remember. He was my first love." She paused and before William had a chance to intervene, she began to speak again. "The last time I saw him I think he was kind of angry with me."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because Xander was his brother. I think he holds that against me. He came into work and was looking for a cd for his girlfriend." Buffy took another sip of her drink. She then stared into the glass.
"What's the big deal about that? Sunnydale isn't that big, it isn't like there is another music store in town."
Buffy shook her head while still staring into the glass. She began to play with the stirrer and stirred the lemon and ice floating in her drink. "The CD was of a band we had seen in concert many times while we were dating. He made the point of telling me it was for his girlfriend and asked me to help him look for it when there was a big display that he walked by." She didn't know why she was feeling the way she was. She also didn't know why she chose to tell William all of this.
"Wow, you seem pretty stuck on this Angel guy."
She shook her head slowly. "Not stuck on him, he was just the first guy I loved. I fell in love with him. He was my first. It was so easy to do. I love Xander but I wasn't in love with him," Buffy told William as she finished her drink. "Excuse me; miss," she said getting the waitress' attention, "could I have another one please?"
The waitress nodded her head and headed over to the bartender.
"How about you William? You ever in love?" Buffy asked turning the tables on William.
William stared at his half full bottle of beer. He could only answer the question one way. "I have been with a lot of girls, too many to keep track of, but yes, and I have loved one woman."
"Thank you," Buffy told the waitress as she sat her drink down and took the empty glass away. "What happened?"
William took a swig from the green bottle and placed it back on the coaster. "I don't talk about this very much," he began to say as he paused. He finished his beer and put down the empty bottle. The waitress asked if he would like another beer. Looking down at the empty coaster, he just said no and continued on with his story. "We went through so much together. We had begun to date a few years ago and actually just broke up before I came here, that's one reason why I am here. I couldn't bear to be around the things that reminded me of her."
Buffy went from taking little sips of her drink to almost a gulp. "What happened?" She repeated.
"Well, as I said, Dru and I went through a lot. About a year and a half ago Dru was pregnant. We hadn't been dating for too long, but we loved each other a lot. I loved her so much. I asked her to marry me. I think I would have asked her if she hadn't become pregnant and she knew that. I had never felt this way about anyone before. We made plans to marry after the baby was born. I couldn't wait to be a father. I wanted this little person to have everything I didn't have. I wanted my child to have a father who put him first and loved him and was there for him. I didn't want to be the father that my father was. I wanted to be different." William began to tell Buffy as he picked up a napkin and began to tear it apart.
"The baby was born last January and I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. A little girl we named Emma. My mother was excited to have her first grandchild. Dru and I were planning on getting married in June. God, she would have looked so beautiful in a gown." William stopped talking for a minute. "In May Dru and I went out for dinner, nothing unusual. Her mother was watching Emma. Dru had something important to tell me. I figured it was something about the wedding, she was so nervous about the whole thing."
William stopped again. Buffy finished her drink and ordered another one. She was on the edge of her seat, she wanted to know what happened to Dru, but she didn't want to pry. If he wanted to continue he would.
Finally, when Buffy's drink came, he continued. "I'll never forget it. I paid for our meal and we left. We were on our way to the movies. We were holding hands. We were talking about what movies we wanted to see. We started arguing over what to see. Finally, she lets go of my hand and- ," William stopped because tears filled his eyes.
After regain his composure, William continued. "I tried to calm her down. I tried to tell her we would see what ever she wanted to see. Then, she started crying and told me..she told me," again, William had to stop. This was the first time he had told the story in full to someone who he hadn't known for an extended period of time. With an angry expression on his face, William continued again with his story. "She told me that Emma wasn't mine. She told me that this little girl that I had thought was my own child; my own flesh and blood wasn't mine. Dru had cheated and they were planning on getting married. She told him about me and he gave her time to break up with me. Who does things like that? I swear that was the only time in my entire life that I ever wanted to punch anyone. She made me so angry."
"I can imagine," Buffy said as she finished her drink. "That isn't right."
"No, it isn't. I went back and packed everything I owned from our flat. Everything that held a relation to my relationship with Dru or Emma I left behind. I didn't want anything to do with them. She actually had the audacity to tell me we could still be friends and I could still have a relationship with Emma. I told her I wanted a paternity test. We scheduled them and a few weeks later we got them back. I wasn't Emma's father. My mother still sees her, but I can't"
William just stopped talking. Buffy, who by that point had a wee bit of a buzz on her didn't say anything. She couldn't follow that up. After looking around at the bar emptying out, William looked up from the tabletop he had been staring at. "Do you want to go?"
Buffy tried standing up and then she fell and began laughing. "Sure."
William helped Buffy up. He paid for the drinks and helped Buffy to the car. He didn't think that she had a lot to drink but he knew the bar tender made her drinks on the strong side. When her drink had been brought to her, the alcohol could be smelt before the waitress placed it on the table. He was thinking he should have cut her off and said no after the first drink but at her age, he drank a lot more and could hold his liquor.
William helped Buffy get into the car and took the car keys. He put the keys in the ignition and drove. She began to lecture him about how he couldn't drive the car. She never gave an explanation but she just kept taunting him with the subject. When they pulled into the drive way, she stumbled out of the car and climbed up the stairs and sat on the steps inside of the house. William followed her in and closed the door.
"Why don't you sleep down her tonight? It's closer than your bed."
Buffy stood up and walked closer to him. "No, I want my bed. I need to get my pajamas silly!" She said as she began to laugh out loud.
She began to walk up the stairs and she almost fell, which made her laugh some more. "Here, let me help you up the stairs," he told her.
William let Buffy lean into him. She began to laugh again.
"What may I ask is so funny?"
"Your hair. It's so blonde, and spiky. Can I call you Spike?" She asked, as she laughed again.
William shook his head. He wished he had never brought her to the bar. He was getting a little annoyed with her at that point. "Sure," he said short-tempered as they reached the top of the stairs. "You can call me what ever you want to."
She stopped and walked towards him. She lost her balance and fell into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hi Spike," She smiled.
"Hi Buffy, let's get you to your room,"
They walked into her room. He walked her to her bed and took off her shoes. "'Night Buffy," he said as he began to walk out of the room.
"Wait," she yelled at him.
Irritated, he turned back and looked at her. "Yes?"
"I need my pj's. They are over there," she said pointing to a button down night shirt with matching pants bottoms on the bench to her vanity.
"Fine," William said as he picked them up.
Buffy laid down and began to laugh again. She was moving around on top of her bed.
"What?" William asked as he tried to leave Buffy's room again.
"I need help Spike."
"Doing what?"
"Getting my pj's on!"
William had had just enough. "You can get your own bloody pajamas on your own bloody body!" William was so infuriated. He thought to himself, 'three drink? Three bloody drinks to get her drunk?' He just shock his head. He was almost out of her room when he heard a thud.
"Hey Spike, I feel off my bed! Now I really need help," Buffy laughed.
William turned to help Buffy. Her chest was full exposed since she had not buttoned her shirt. She was on the floor with her head against her bed laughing.
"Spike, I think I hurt myself," she began to cry.
William helped her off the floor and into bed. He sat on the bed next to her and began to button her shirt. "Buffy, you have to get some sleep. You need to rest before your parents come home tomorrow," he told her.
William had buttoned the last button on Buffy's night shirt. He was about to stand up when Buffy crawled into his lap. She wrapped her feet around his waist. "Thank you," she told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Buffy, what are you-," William was interrupted by Buffy kissing him. She pushed her body closer to his. He finally pulled away. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" He asked as he stood up.
"I thought that you may want something," she said smiling and walking closer to him.
With a puzzled look on his face, William started shouting, "are you mad? What is wrong with you?"
With that being said, Buffy walked back over to her bed and laid down. Tears fell from her eyes and rolled off her check. 'Good job William,' he told himself, 'look at what you have done now, you made cry.'
"Buffy?" He asked trying to be heard above her cried.
"Go away!"
"Buffy, what's wrong?"
"No! Go away!: She repeated.
William walked over to the sobbing teen. "Buffy?"
"You don't think I'm desirable, do you?"
Confused, William just asked, "What?"
"You don't think I am pretty or sexy or any thing that means pretty."
"What would you think that?"
"Because you won't have sex with me?" She pouted facing away from William.
'Good job William, go and give her just one drink and look at what happened.' He thought to himself. "Can we talk about this in the morning?" He asked not wanting to deal with a drunk.
"Fine, but will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"
He huffed and puffed. He also prayed that Rupert wouldn't come home too early and find him in bed with his daughter. William figured that wouldn't fly over so well with Rupert.
"Fine, only until you fall asleep. Then I'm back in my room."
Buffy woke up the next morning to the sun hitting her face. The light woke her up. She rolled over so she wouldn't face the wall and saw William. She began to shake him. "What the hell are you doing in my bed? Get out!"
William opened one of his eyes. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Why are you in my bed?
"You don't remember?" William asked sitting up. He looked at the alarm clock to his left. The clock read 8:14am. He fell asleep well after four am and could have slept longer. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep in Buffy's bed. He was going to stay only until she fell asleep and then go back to his room. He explained Buffy's behavior the previous night and into the morning.
Buffy was a little shocked. She couldn't remember what happened. The last thing she remembered was William talking about Dru and the baby that wasn't his. After that, she didn't remember anything. She also thought that William wouldn't lie to her.
Buffy sat up and hung her head down low. "Oh my God."
"Buffy, don't worry about."
"No, I was pretty embarrassing last night."
"No Buffy, really, don't worry about it. It's in the past now."
"No, you were telling me something important and you have been really nice to me and I treated you horribly."
"Buffy," William said as he sat up and wrapped an arm around Buffy. "We're even. This makes up for the time at your work. I don't want to ever hear about this again, all right?"
Buffy rested her head on his shoulder. "You really wouldn't sleep with me?" She asked.
"No way! I know you too well now! That would be like sleeping with a relative! Your Rupert's daughter, I can't and wouldn't." He smiled. "Plus I want you around for a long time; you're a good friend, when you're not illegally drinking."
Buffy started laughing. William soon joined her. They got out of bed, showered and dressed just in the nick of time. Joyce, Rupert and Dawn arrived home ten minutes after Buffy took a shower.
The purple one was packed. The green one was packed. Buffy was trying to reach the pink photo album. After trying for a while to get it from her top shelf of her closet, it fell out and onto the floor. It was followed by a blue one.
Buffy picked up the pink one first. Inside held pictures from her childhood. Her mother had took so many pictures when she was growing up that she made two photo albums. Joyce made one for herself and one for Buffy and her friends. Joyce was also doing the same thing for Dawn. Buffy looked through the pictures and smiled. Most of them were of her, Dan and Stacy. They seemed so young then. After all, she was in elementary school. She was a little sad. She and her friends were starting college and moving on with their lives but Stay wasn't there. Buffy shook her head and smiled. She missed her friend but she was in a better place. She placed the album in the box going with her to college.
Next she looked through the blue album which contained pictures form her first few years in Sunnydale. Willow had changed so much. She had matured a lot and got really pretty. Xander looked the same but older. She missed Xander so much. No one had heard from him since he left. Buffy was worried about him but she knew in time she would talk to him again.
She was about to place the album with the rest when a 5x7 picture fell out from the back of the album. She picked up the picture that was face down on the floor. It was a family picture of her family. The picture was taken her freshman year of high school. Dawn, who was eight and missing her front teeth, was the first person in the picture and was sitting on Joyce's lap. Rupert stood next to Joyce with his arm around Joyce. He also had another arm around Buffy who was sitting in front of him. Buffy looked completely miserable. She was the only one not smiling in the picture.
She began to think about the picture and how she had treated Rupert in the past. She thought about conversations that she had had with William and Rupert's generosity.
She also thought about the letter she had sent Hank. He must have received it by then. She had felt so much better since she mailed the letter. The letter made her think even more about the way she treated Rupert. She put the photo back into the album and packed it. She then walked over to her computer and began to type.
Faith, Amy and Connor had just left the Giles' house. Joyce had made a big meal and invited everyone Buffy wanted to have over. Willow was unable to make the dinner because she had left a few days earlier for Boston. Oz was with her so he was unable to make it.
Buffy was all ready feeling a little homesick when she went to her room to pack. Dawn helped her finish the last few things. "I can't believe that you are going tomorrow," Dawn said as she placed the frame of Willow, Buffy and Xander in a box.
"Yeah, this time tomorrow you will be living in my room for a while," she told Dawn with a smile. It had been decided that William was going to stay with the Giles' for a while longer. He would be living in Dawn's room still and Dawn would have Buffy's room.
Quietness filled Buffy and Dawn. They both listened to the radio as they finished packing. When they were all done they both laid on Buffy's bed.
"Thanks for helping me."
"Sure, any time." Dawn smiled. Her smile faded. "Buffy?"
"Yeah."
"I'm going to miss you. You have always been around."
"Dawn, I am still going to be around. You can come and visit me."
Dawn looked down at the ceiling. "I know, but you have always been down the hall. Things are going to be different around here." She paused and gathered her thoughts for a minute. "Buffy, I want to be just like you when I grow up."
Buffy put her arm around her sister and snuggled with her for a moment. "Really? Why?"
"Why not? Because your smart and pretty and your nice. I know you aren't always crazy about having a younger sister but you have always made time for me. Remember when you let me take Mr. Gordo to show and tell?"
Buffy smiled. She remembered as if it was yesterday. A while after that show and tell she had bought Dawn her own stuffed big who she named G.J. "I do Dawnie. I am going to miss you."
Dawn laid close to her sister and rested her head on Buffy's shoulder, "I know, I am missable."
Buffy smiled. "Yah, you are. Now take a shower so we can go to bed and move me into college so you can have your own room tomorrow!" Dawn jumped off the bed and grabbed her stuff and headed in to the shower.
Buffy was writing in her journal when Joyce and Rupert knocked on the door. "Come in," she said.
"Hi Honey. We just wanted to say good night. We are heading to bed. We have a big day tomorrow," Joyce said as she smiled weakly. "It's not too late to decide to live at home you know."
"mom, I'm moving to school tomorrow. I'll be forty-five minutes away, we'll be all right." Buffy explained.
"I know, I just can't believe that you are all grown up all ready." Joyce said with tears in her eyes.
"Oh no, here she goes again," Buffy smiled and looked at Rupert. "Can't you do something about her?"
Rupert returned Buffy's smile. "I can't, she's been acting like this all day!"
"Fine, I'll go to bed now. Good night honey," Joyce told her daughter as she hugged and kissed her. She then got up and walked out of the room. Rupert was following her when Buffy stopped him.
"Hey, would you mind staying for a minute?" She asked him.
"Of course I will," He told Buffy. Buffy closed the door. He pulled the bench from Buffy's vanity and sat on it.
"Okay. Please just let me talk for a minute before you say anything, promise?" She asked.
"Is there anything wrong?" He asked concerned.
Buffy shook her head. "No, please just listen." Buffy paused for a minute. She was searching for words to say. She had rehearsed this moment several times in her head before deciding on actually going through with it.
Buffy sat down and started her conversation. "Okay. I admit I haven't treated you very nice in the past. I have actually treated you very badly for a long time. I have never showed you any type of love, or affection, gratitude, emotions, nothing. I have been completely cold to you. I don't even have a name that I address you as, and I am sorry."
Buffy stopped for a minute. Rupert was about to say something. "Please, don't say anything yet, there's more, and you promised you wouldn't say anything until I was done." Rupert nodded and let Buffy continue. "About three weeks ago I mailed a letter to hank. Here is a copy of the letter I sent him," she said as she handed him a piece of paper. She had kept this copy in her journal. She waited until Rupert had finished reading the letter. He had tears in his eyes. Rupert had known, at least in recent years that Buffy didn't hate him. He knew that she cared somewhat for him; he just didn't realize how much she cared for him. Again he was about to speak and Buffy interrupted him.
"Wait, I have one more thing to say, She told him as she grabbed a matted paper. She was going to frame the paper instead of putting a matt back to it, but she liked the way the cream colored paper looked against the navy blue matting. "I heard this song on the radio the other day and I listened to the words. I don't really like the song but I like the lyrics. They-they kind of reminded me of you, so I wanted to give them to you. They really fit how I feel about you.
Rupert began to read the lyrics silently"
Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
Buffy began to talk again before Rupert had a chance to interrupt her. He continued to have tears flow down from his checks. Buffy's eyes were now misting too. "You have been there for all of the important events in my life. You were at my parent conferences in school and at my graduation. You were there for me after the car accident and everything with Stacy." She began to laugh. "You even had patients to teach me how to drive even though I was and still am a pretty bad driver." Both chuckled at that remark. "But the point is that you have been there for me," she told him as she wiped her eyes. "You have loved me unconditionally and I am sorry it took me so long to realize how much I really do love you. You are the most caring and kind person I know. I am very lucky to have you in my life." Buffy now with tears n her eyes. "Is it all right to call you dad?" Too overwhelmed with his emotions, all Rupert could do was embrace Buffy.
Outside of the Buffy's bedroom stood William. He was going to ask Buffy what time they were leaving tomorrow morning. He was going to help her move into her dorm room. William heard almost the entire conversation. All he could do was grin.
Author's Note: I would like to thank lilmamaday, Kristine and Johanna for your thoughtful reviews. Again, they mean a lot to me, thank you all.
Author's note 2: "Because You Loved Me" belongs to Celine Dion or who ever wrote the song. I am not a fan but the song fits into a part towards the end of the chapter. It was the first song that came to my mind.
Author's Note 3: Enjoy this chapter! Please keep the reviews coming! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon! Thanks again for reading!
"Are you sure you are all right with this? We don't have to go," Joyce asked Buffy as Buffy stood in Joyce's bedroom. She watched her mother pack her belongings and place them into an overnight bag. A painting Joyce had been looking for for years was being sold at an estate sale a few hours away. She and Rupert were going to try and purchase it for their home. Joyce felt a little guilty for leaving Buffy just a few days before she left for school.
"Mom, don't worry about it. I don't move to school for another few days. Go, get the painting you want. I'll be fine, maybe I'll finish packing too." Buffy tried to reassure her mother. The only thing she wasn't looking forward to was watching Dawn.
"All right. You have the number where your father and I will be staying, and you have our cell phone numbers."
"Mom, I've been home with Dawn before by myself. Don't worry about it."
Joyce zipped her bag and looked at Buffy. "Dawn is coming with us. I really want you to concentrate on packing so you will be all done by the time we get back. I'll leave you and William money for dinner for tonight and maybe enough to rent a movie. Have fun. We'll be back tomorrow."
Buffy followed Joyce downstairs and helped Dawn put her bag into the car. The three were all set to go. "Please find time to do some packing," Joyce told Buffy as she hugged her and got into the car. She, Rupert and Dawn waived good bye as Buffy and William stood on the porch also waiving. They watched as they drove away and could no longer be seen.
"What are you up to tonight?" William asked as they went back into the house.
"What do you mean? I have to pack tonight. I'm leaving for school in a few days." Buffy answered as she closed the door and followed William into the family room.
"Come on, are you really going to stay in tonight and pack when there is good fun to be had?" William asked.
Buffy thought he had a point. Joyce didn't want her to do all of her packing, she had said just do some.
"I guess I could do some packing this afternoon and then go out for some fun later."
William smiled. "Now you're talking!"
"You know, this is why there are so many underage kids drinking. No one in this area cares about real id," William explained as he and Buffy entered a bar. They used the same story that they used in the previous place to get Buffy in and to both of their amazement, it worked.
"I know. Oh well, what can you do about it?" She asked as they sat down at a table.
A waitress came over and asked them what they wanted to drink. "A diet coke please?" Buffy asked. The waitress looked at her kind of funny. No one ever came in and ordered just a diet coke.
"And rum. The lady will have a diet coke and rum. Beer for myself please," William explained.
The waitress gave them a strange look and went to get the drinks. Buffy just laughed.
"I didn't want rum.I don't even know what it tastes like," she explained with a half-smile.
"People in places like this find it hard to believe that customers don't come here to drink. Just sip it, if you don't like it, don't drink it." A grin found its way to William's face. "After all, I owe you drink for your 'birthday'," William said referring to the lie that had gotten them into the club and then the bar.
Buffy nodded as the waitress found her way back to the table. She then handed the drinks to William and Buffy.
"So you're pretty enough, why don't you have any boyfriends?" William asked after sipping his Heineken.
"Well, Xander, my last boyfriend and I broke up after we graduated," Buffy began to explain as she sipped her rum and diet coke. She made a face, took another sip and then continued. "We decided we would be better as friends. He was actually one of the first people I met when I first moved here. I miss him, I haven't heard from him since he left in June. Then there was Angel." She paused for a minute to take another sip.
William chuckled. "Angel? What kind of a wussy name is that?"
"The kind of wuss who was athletic and was the captain of the soccer teams and football teams for his last few years of high school. He is at NYU now and I think he wanted to studying journalism but I don't really remember. He was my first love." She paused and before William had a chance to intervene, she began to speak again. "The last time I saw him I think he was kind of angry with me."
"Why would you say that?"
"Because Xander was his brother. I think he holds that against me. He came into work and was looking for a cd for his girlfriend." Buffy took another sip of her drink. She then stared into the glass.
"What's the big deal about that? Sunnydale isn't that big, it isn't like there is another music store in town."
Buffy shook her head while still staring into the glass. She began to play with the stirrer and stirred the lemon and ice floating in her drink. "The CD was of a band we had seen in concert many times while we were dating. He made the point of telling me it was for his girlfriend and asked me to help him look for it when there was a big display that he walked by." She didn't know why she was feeling the way she was. She also didn't know why she chose to tell William all of this.
"Wow, you seem pretty stuck on this Angel guy."
She shook her head slowly. "Not stuck on him, he was just the first guy I loved. I fell in love with him. He was my first. It was so easy to do. I love Xander but I wasn't in love with him," Buffy told William as she finished her drink. "Excuse me; miss," she said getting the waitress' attention, "could I have another one please?"
The waitress nodded her head and headed over to the bartender.
"How about you William? You ever in love?" Buffy asked turning the tables on William.
William stared at his half full bottle of beer. He could only answer the question one way. "I have been with a lot of girls, too many to keep track of, but yes, and I have loved one woman."
"Thank you," Buffy told the waitress as she sat her drink down and took the empty glass away. "What happened?"
William took a swig from the green bottle and placed it back on the coaster. "I don't talk about this very much," he began to say as he paused. He finished his beer and put down the empty bottle. The waitress asked if he would like another beer. Looking down at the empty coaster, he just said no and continued on with his story. "We went through so much together. We had begun to date a few years ago and actually just broke up before I came here, that's one reason why I am here. I couldn't bear to be around the things that reminded me of her."
Buffy went from taking little sips of her drink to almost a gulp. "What happened?" She repeated.
"Well, as I said, Dru and I went through a lot. About a year and a half ago Dru was pregnant. We hadn't been dating for too long, but we loved each other a lot. I loved her so much. I asked her to marry me. I think I would have asked her if she hadn't become pregnant and she knew that. I had never felt this way about anyone before. We made plans to marry after the baby was born. I couldn't wait to be a father. I wanted this little person to have everything I didn't have. I wanted my child to have a father who put him first and loved him and was there for him. I didn't want to be the father that my father was. I wanted to be different." William began to tell Buffy as he picked up a napkin and began to tear it apart.
"The baby was born last January and I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. A little girl we named Emma. My mother was excited to have her first grandchild. Dru and I were planning on getting married in June. God, she would have looked so beautiful in a gown." William stopped talking for a minute. "In May Dru and I went out for dinner, nothing unusual. Her mother was watching Emma. Dru had something important to tell me. I figured it was something about the wedding, she was so nervous about the whole thing."
William stopped again. Buffy finished her drink and ordered another one. She was on the edge of her seat, she wanted to know what happened to Dru, but she didn't want to pry. If he wanted to continue he would.
Finally, when Buffy's drink came, he continued. "I'll never forget it. I paid for our meal and we left. We were on our way to the movies. We were holding hands. We were talking about what movies we wanted to see. We started arguing over what to see. Finally, she lets go of my hand and- ," William stopped because tears filled his eyes.
After regain his composure, William continued. "I tried to calm her down. I tried to tell her we would see what ever she wanted to see. Then, she started crying and told me..she told me," again, William had to stop. This was the first time he had told the story in full to someone who he hadn't known for an extended period of time. With an angry expression on his face, William continued again with his story. "She told me that Emma wasn't mine. She told me that this little girl that I had thought was my own child; my own flesh and blood wasn't mine. Dru had cheated and they were planning on getting married. She told him about me and he gave her time to break up with me. Who does things like that? I swear that was the only time in my entire life that I ever wanted to punch anyone. She made me so angry."
"I can imagine," Buffy said as she finished her drink. "That isn't right."
"No, it isn't. I went back and packed everything I owned from our flat. Everything that held a relation to my relationship with Dru or Emma I left behind. I didn't want anything to do with them. She actually had the audacity to tell me we could still be friends and I could still have a relationship with Emma. I told her I wanted a paternity test. We scheduled them and a few weeks later we got them back. I wasn't Emma's father. My mother still sees her, but I can't"
William just stopped talking. Buffy, who by that point had a wee bit of a buzz on her didn't say anything. She couldn't follow that up. After looking around at the bar emptying out, William looked up from the tabletop he had been staring at. "Do you want to go?"
Buffy tried standing up and then she fell and began laughing. "Sure."
William helped Buffy up. He paid for the drinks and helped Buffy to the car. He didn't think that she had a lot to drink but he knew the bar tender made her drinks on the strong side. When her drink had been brought to her, the alcohol could be smelt before the waitress placed it on the table. He was thinking he should have cut her off and said no after the first drink but at her age, he drank a lot more and could hold his liquor.
William helped Buffy get into the car and took the car keys. He put the keys in the ignition and drove. She began to lecture him about how he couldn't drive the car. She never gave an explanation but she just kept taunting him with the subject. When they pulled into the drive way, she stumbled out of the car and climbed up the stairs and sat on the steps inside of the house. William followed her in and closed the door.
"Why don't you sleep down her tonight? It's closer than your bed."
Buffy stood up and walked closer to him. "No, I want my bed. I need to get my pajamas silly!" She said as she began to laugh out loud.
She began to walk up the stairs and she almost fell, which made her laugh some more. "Here, let me help you up the stairs," he told her.
William let Buffy lean into him. She began to laugh again.
"What may I ask is so funny?"
"Your hair. It's so blonde, and spiky. Can I call you Spike?" She asked, as she laughed again.
William shook his head. He wished he had never brought her to the bar. He was getting a little annoyed with her at that point. "Sure," he said short-tempered as they reached the top of the stairs. "You can call me what ever you want to."
She stopped and walked towards him. She lost her balance and fell into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hi Spike," She smiled.
"Hi Buffy, let's get you to your room,"
They walked into her room. He walked her to her bed and took off her shoes. "'Night Buffy," he said as he began to walk out of the room.
"Wait," she yelled at him.
Irritated, he turned back and looked at her. "Yes?"
"I need my pj's. They are over there," she said pointing to a button down night shirt with matching pants bottoms on the bench to her vanity.
"Fine," William said as he picked them up.
Buffy laid down and began to laugh again. She was moving around on top of her bed.
"What?" William asked as he tried to leave Buffy's room again.
"I need help Spike."
"Doing what?"
"Getting my pj's on!"
William had had just enough. "You can get your own bloody pajamas on your own bloody body!" William was so infuriated. He thought to himself, 'three drink? Three bloody drinks to get her drunk?' He just shock his head. He was almost out of her room when he heard a thud.
"Hey Spike, I feel off my bed! Now I really need help," Buffy laughed.
William turned to help Buffy. Her chest was full exposed since she had not buttoned her shirt. She was on the floor with her head against her bed laughing.
"Spike, I think I hurt myself," she began to cry.
William helped her off the floor and into bed. He sat on the bed next to her and began to button her shirt. "Buffy, you have to get some sleep. You need to rest before your parents come home tomorrow," he told her.
William had buttoned the last button on Buffy's night shirt. He was about to stand up when Buffy crawled into his lap. She wrapped her feet around his waist. "Thank you," she told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Buffy, what are you-," William was interrupted by Buffy kissing him. She pushed her body closer to his. He finally pulled away. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" He asked as he stood up.
"I thought that you may want something," she said smiling and walking closer to him.
With a puzzled look on his face, William started shouting, "are you mad? What is wrong with you?"
With that being said, Buffy walked back over to her bed and laid down. Tears fell from her eyes and rolled off her check. 'Good job William,' he told himself, 'look at what you have done now, you made cry.'
"Buffy?" He asked trying to be heard above her cried.
"Go away!"
"Buffy, what's wrong?"
"No! Go away!: She repeated.
William walked over to the sobbing teen. "Buffy?"
"You don't think I'm desirable, do you?"
Confused, William just asked, "What?"
"You don't think I am pretty or sexy or any thing that means pretty."
"What would you think that?"
"Because you won't have sex with me?" She pouted facing away from William.
'Good job William, go and give her just one drink and look at what happened.' He thought to himself. "Can we talk about this in the morning?" He asked not wanting to deal with a drunk.
"Fine, but will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"
He huffed and puffed. He also prayed that Rupert wouldn't come home too early and find him in bed with his daughter. William figured that wouldn't fly over so well with Rupert.
"Fine, only until you fall asleep. Then I'm back in my room."
Buffy woke up the next morning to the sun hitting her face. The light woke her up. She rolled over so she wouldn't face the wall and saw William. She began to shake him. "What the hell are you doing in my bed? Get out!"
William opened one of his eyes. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Why are you in my bed?
"You don't remember?" William asked sitting up. He looked at the alarm clock to his left. The clock read 8:14am. He fell asleep well after four am and could have slept longer. He didn't realize he had fallen asleep in Buffy's bed. He was going to stay only until she fell asleep and then go back to his room. He explained Buffy's behavior the previous night and into the morning.
Buffy was a little shocked. She couldn't remember what happened. The last thing she remembered was William talking about Dru and the baby that wasn't his. After that, she didn't remember anything. She also thought that William wouldn't lie to her.
Buffy sat up and hung her head down low. "Oh my God."
"Buffy, don't worry about."
"No, I was pretty embarrassing last night."
"No Buffy, really, don't worry about it. It's in the past now."
"No, you were telling me something important and you have been really nice to me and I treated you horribly."
"Buffy," William said as he sat up and wrapped an arm around Buffy. "We're even. This makes up for the time at your work. I don't want to ever hear about this again, all right?"
Buffy rested her head on his shoulder. "You really wouldn't sleep with me?" She asked.
"No way! I know you too well now! That would be like sleeping with a relative! Your Rupert's daughter, I can't and wouldn't." He smiled. "Plus I want you around for a long time; you're a good friend, when you're not illegally drinking."
Buffy started laughing. William soon joined her. They got out of bed, showered and dressed just in the nick of time. Joyce, Rupert and Dawn arrived home ten minutes after Buffy took a shower.
The purple one was packed. The green one was packed. Buffy was trying to reach the pink photo album. After trying for a while to get it from her top shelf of her closet, it fell out and onto the floor. It was followed by a blue one.
Buffy picked up the pink one first. Inside held pictures from her childhood. Her mother had took so many pictures when she was growing up that she made two photo albums. Joyce made one for herself and one for Buffy and her friends. Joyce was also doing the same thing for Dawn. Buffy looked through the pictures and smiled. Most of them were of her, Dan and Stacy. They seemed so young then. After all, she was in elementary school. She was a little sad. She and her friends were starting college and moving on with their lives but Stay wasn't there. Buffy shook her head and smiled. She missed her friend but she was in a better place. She placed the album in the box going with her to college.
Next she looked through the blue album which contained pictures form her first few years in Sunnydale. Willow had changed so much. She had matured a lot and got really pretty. Xander looked the same but older. She missed Xander so much. No one had heard from him since he left. Buffy was worried about him but she knew in time she would talk to him again.
She was about to place the album with the rest when a 5x7 picture fell out from the back of the album. She picked up the picture that was face down on the floor. It was a family picture of her family. The picture was taken her freshman year of high school. Dawn, who was eight and missing her front teeth, was the first person in the picture and was sitting on Joyce's lap. Rupert stood next to Joyce with his arm around Joyce. He also had another arm around Buffy who was sitting in front of him. Buffy looked completely miserable. She was the only one not smiling in the picture.
She began to think about the picture and how she had treated Rupert in the past. She thought about conversations that she had had with William and Rupert's generosity.
She also thought about the letter she had sent Hank. He must have received it by then. She had felt so much better since she mailed the letter. The letter made her think even more about the way she treated Rupert. She put the photo back into the album and packed it. She then walked over to her computer and began to type.
Faith, Amy and Connor had just left the Giles' house. Joyce had made a big meal and invited everyone Buffy wanted to have over. Willow was unable to make the dinner because she had left a few days earlier for Boston. Oz was with her so he was unable to make it.
Buffy was all ready feeling a little homesick when she went to her room to pack. Dawn helped her finish the last few things. "I can't believe that you are going tomorrow," Dawn said as she placed the frame of Willow, Buffy and Xander in a box.
"Yeah, this time tomorrow you will be living in my room for a while," she told Dawn with a smile. It had been decided that William was going to stay with the Giles' for a while longer. He would be living in Dawn's room still and Dawn would have Buffy's room.
Quietness filled Buffy and Dawn. They both listened to the radio as they finished packing. When they were all done they both laid on Buffy's bed.
"Thanks for helping me."
"Sure, any time." Dawn smiled. Her smile faded. "Buffy?"
"Yeah."
"I'm going to miss you. You have always been around."
"Dawn, I am still going to be around. You can come and visit me."
Dawn looked down at the ceiling. "I know, but you have always been down the hall. Things are going to be different around here." She paused and gathered her thoughts for a minute. "Buffy, I want to be just like you when I grow up."
Buffy put her arm around her sister and snuggled with her for a moment. "Really? Why?"
"Why not? Because your smart and pretty and your nice. I know you aren't always crazy about having a younger sister but you have always made time for me. Remember when you let me take Mr. Gordo to show and tell?"
Buffy smiled. She remembered as if it was yesterday. A while after that show and tell she had bought Dawn her own stuffed big who she named G.J. "I do Dawnie. I am going to miss you."
Dawn laid close to her sister and rested her head on Buffy's shoulder, "I know, I am missable."
Buffy smiled. "Yah, you are. Now take a shower so we can go to bed and move me into college so you can have your own room tomorrow!" Dawn jumped off the bed and grabbed her stuff and headed in to the shower.
Buffy was writing in her journal when Joyce and Rupert knocked on the door. "Come in," she said.
"Hi Honey. We just wanted to say good night. We are heading to bed. We have a big day tomorrow," Joyce said as she smiled weakly. "It's not too late to decide to live at home you know."
"mom, I'm moving to school tomorrow. I'll be forty-five minutes away, we'll be all right." Buffy explained.
"I know, I just can't believe that you are all grown up all ready." Joyce said with tears in her eyes.
"Oh no, here she goes again," Buffy smiled and looked at Rupert. "Can't you do something about her?"
Rupert returned Buffy's smile. "I can't, she's been acting like this all day!"
"Fine, I'll go to bed now. Good night honey," Joyce told her daughter as she hugged and kissed her. She then got up and walked out of the room. Rupert was following her when Buffy stopped him.
"Hey, would you mind staying for a minute?" She asked him.
"Of course I will," He told Buffy. Buffy closed the door. He pulled the bench from Buffy's vanity and sat on it.
"Okay. Please just let me talk for a minute before you say anything, promise?" She asked.
"Is there anything wrong?" He asked concerned.
Buffy shook her head. "No, please just listen." Buffy paused for a minute. She was searching for words to say. She had rehearsed this moment several times in her head before deciding on actually going through with it.
Buffy sat down and started her conversation. "Okay. I admit I haven't treated you very nice in the past. I have actually treated you very badly for a long time. I have never showed you any type of love, or affection, gratitude, emotions, nothing. I have been completely cold to you. I don't even have a name that I address you as, and I am sorry."
Buffy stopped for a minute. Rupert was about to say something. "Please, don't say anything yet, there's more, and you promised you wouldn't say anything until I was done." Rupert nodded and let Buffy continue. "About three weeks ago I mailed a letter to hank. Here is a copy of the letter I sent him," she said as she handed him a piece of paper. She had kept this copy in her journal. She waited until Rupert had finished reading the letter. He had tears in his eyes. Rupert had known, at least in recent years that Buffy didn't hate him. He knew that she cared somewhat for him; he just didn't realize how much she cared for him. Again he was about to speak and Buffy interrupted him.
"Wait, I have one more thing to say, She told him as she grabbed a matted paper. She was going to frame the paper instead of putting a matt back to it, but she liked the way the cream colored paper looked against the navy blue matting. "I heard this song on the radio the other day and I listened to the words. I don't really like the song but I like the lyrics. They-they kind of reminded me of you, so I wanted to give them to you. They really fit how I feel about you.
Rupert began to read the lyrics silently"
Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
Buffy began to talk again before Rupert had a chance to interrupt her. He continued to have tears flow down from his checks. Buffy's eyes were now misting too. "You have been there for all of the important events in my life. You were at my parent conferences in school and at my graduation. You were there for me after the car accident and everything with Stacy." She began to laugh. "You even had patients to teach me how to drive even though I was and still am a pretty bad driver." Both chuckled at that remark. "But the point is that you have been there for me," she told him as she wiped her eyes. "You have loved me unconditionally and I am sorry it took me so long to realize how much I really do love you. You are the most caring and kind person I know. I am very lucky to have you in my life." Buffy now with tears n her eyes. "Is it all right to call you dad?" Too overwhelmed with his emotions, all Rupert could do was embrace Buffy.
Outside of the Buffy's bedroom stood William. He was going to ask Buffy what time they were leaving tomorrow morning. He was going to help her move into her dorm room. William heard almost the entire conversation. All he could do was grin.