- Chapter 2 : The Car -

The last time he was driving down this highway he had a one way ticket going in the other direction. He and Blaine had been mapping out their future in New York for years and after graduating from Ohio State, they had decided to actually follow the road they had drawn out. Everything had felt so right then. It was as if all the muddled and strewn pieces of their lives were coming together, as if the car speeding east, down the I-80 was the zipper, finally and perfectly interlocking all the individual teeth into something strong and whole as if they were always meant to be there.

The thrilling and elating feeling of finally leaving Ohio behind and having New York on the horizon and his best friend beside him, had completely overshadowed his sore behind which was not happy about being sat on for the ten hour drive.

"Where are you running off to?" Sebastian asked in that smug, condescending tone that, if not in the best of moods, would make his skin crawl. Tonight though, he was too excited about tomorrow to care.

"Home," he answered simply, extracting himself from their tangle of limbs to find his clothes.

"Home? You're usually up for round two, Hummel."

"Still gotta pack. And Blaine wants to celebrate our last night here."

"Blaine, huh?" Sebastian stated skeptically, propping himself up on his elbows. Kurt could feel the other's eyes on him as he bent to pull up his boxer briefs. "You know you'd have more fun with me than with the overgrown toddler."

"Yeah, I'm not so sure," he teased good naturedly before wincing as he stretched awkwardly to get into his snug jeans.

"Pounded you good huh? See you're never going to get it that good again."

He winced again at the choice of language and a bit at the reality it implied but shook it off before it began to seep in. "You do realize where we're going right? New York is one of the biggest gay mecas."

"Exactly. None of those guys are going to have time for closet cases like you, sweetie."

"Don't call me sweetie." Though pet names never sounded quite right coming out of Sebastian's mouth it was always worse when he was leaving. At best they seemed forced, like they were the right thing to say but from the wrong person. At the end of the night though it cut a little deeper, made his skin crawl, made him never want to hear those words again, from anyone. That was usually his cue to leave. He pulled his shirt roughly over his head and walked to the door without turning back. "Bye, Sebastian."

"You'll never have that white picket fence with Blaine. Stop kidding yourself."

"If you think my life revolves around your delusional mind then I think you're the one that needs to stop kidding yourself."

He slammed the door loudly on his way out, so relieved to never have to see the meerkat again. The beginning of the evenings always seemed like a good idea. Being young and full of testosterone, fueled unfortunately by his off limits and unknowing best friend and roommate, was proving more difficult than he thought. Sebastian offered him relief and although it was always short lived due to the boy's obnoxious comments, the pent up sexual frustration was sometimes too great for Kurt to handle especial seeing as he had never considered himself to be a sexually driven person. He was a romantic at heart. He believed that sex should the last part of the equation added only after all the little bashful smiles and quirky nonsense and playful dates and quiet dates and catastrophic dates that left both parties laughing both at their misfortunes of the evening but also at their extreme luck to be able to share it all with someone special. He could even picture an argument or two in there, a misunderstanding stemming from both people trying to do what was best for each other when in fact they were doing just the opposite. He hated that his body continually pushed this ideal further and further away and taking Sebastian up on his offer allowed him to shut his body up a short while. It unfortunately also left his skin crawling at the thought of how easily Sebastian could manipulate it. He always left swearing to himself that he would never return. This was the first time that the declaration was actually true and that was an overwhelmingly good feeling.

Now however, looking back to the west and to the past, there was no joy to hide the uncomfortable stirring in his stomach nor the uncomfortable tension that had seemingly sprung up between him and Blaine overnight. He had been right about having to give up his role because of the time he would have to miss and because he could not provide Blaine with a reasonable explanation as to why he was choosing Sebastian over his career, a rift grew between them. It was like they were unzipping that zipper now and the closer they got to Ohio, the further from each other they became.

He had been worried about this. It had kept him up the previous night, tossing and turning, wondering what the magnitude of this would amount to and how it would ultimately be resolved. As a result of his restless slumber, Kurt was tired and although he had insisted on driving, he found it increasingly harder and harder to keep his eyes open on the long stretches of open highway. The lack of conversation didn't help either and the heavy matter of Sebastian on his tired mind easily pulled his focus off the road. A violent swerve back into his lane finally lifted the silence.

"Whoa, you okay?"

"Yes," he bit back.

"You sure? You look tired."

"I am."

"I can drive."

"No."

"Kurt, come on. Why not?"

"Because."

"Because," Blaine answered back in a tone that showed he was both disappointed and annoyed with the nothing of an answer. "Are we really at that point?"

He glanced over at Blaine. He didn't want to be at that point. There had been very few times over the years where they had stopped talking altogether. Problems were resolved quickly and even when they lingered, they could put it off to the side until they were ready to talk and still be friends in the meantime. He sighed heavily knowing that now was definitely not the time to end their lifelong friendship.

"No," he conceded, shaking his head and taking his time to gather his thoughts. Blaine waited patiently. "I just feel like everything's spinning out of control and… and as dumb as it sounds, this just feels like the only thing that I can control."

Blaine remained quiet for a few moments. Kurt glanced over a couple times and saw a contemplative but not questioning look in his friend's eyes. He no longer seemed to be prying but simply genuinely concerned and willing to help once he determined how. That was one of the things Kurt had always loved about Blaine, his willingness to help and seeing it again almost made their argument disappear and he found comfort in his friend again.

"Why don't we stop and get some coffee or something? Take a little break? There's no rush to get there," Blaine eventually suggested.

"We still have another seven hours on the road," he pointed out. In his mind, if they had to do this he just wanted to be back in Ohio, to see his father, and to catch up on some much needed sleep in his childhood bed.

"So? The funeral's not for two days. Maybe we should relax for a bit. I think we've both been on edge since we got the phone call and maybe that's not the best state to walk into this with. It's definitely going to be hard."

"Yeah," Kurt nodded in agreement. Saying this was going to be hard was an understatement. It was already proving hard and he couldn't stop the tears that started pooling in his eyes.

"Hey," Blaine said softly, reaching across the center console and patting his leg reassuringly. "Come on, let's just take a break. It'll be okay."

"Alright," he agreed, swiping the tears quickly from his eyes and scanning the highway signs for the nearest exit.

This exit happened to be an old truck stop but there was a small diner that, according to the large bearded man that Blaine stopped on his way back to his eighteen wheeler, sold decent enough coffee. Kurt was still skeptical but he had already been practically dragged into a booth in the corner.

"It can't be any worse than some of the stuff your dad drinks around his shop."

"That's not saying much."

"Well this'll help put us back into the small town Ohio mind set. We don't want to have to deal with culture shock on top of everything else," Blaine joked.

Kurt smiled lightly in response, pondering the menu. "Do you think it's too early for desert?" He asked absentmindedly.

"It's after noon," Blaine said with a shrug. "It's never too early anyways. What're you looking at?"

"The chocolate fudge cake with ice crème. Wanna split it?"

"Definitely!" Blaine agreed and after their orders were taken he piped up again. "So why the chocolate at one in the afternoon?"

Kurt couldn't help but role his eyes at himself. "You're sharing," he pointed out.

"Touche. You excited to see your dad?"

"Yeah," he nodded with a smile. "That's about the only thing I'm excited for. I kinda miss the smell of motor oil."

"You used to spend all day in there. I think it's the only time I've ever seen you messy," Blaine chuckled.

"There you are. I've been calling you for hours," Kurt heard the familiar voice call from outside over the clanking of his tools.

He lifted his head from where it was tucked under the hood of Mrs. Harris' car. This was one of the cars that was towed into shop at least twice a year. For the last four years his dad had always diagnosed it as junk yard metal on the intake but they always got it running again. Kurt knew his dad put a little extra time into it though knowing that Mrs. Harris, like many people in this town, could simply not afford a new car. That's what brought him here, on a Sunday, when the shop was closed. Or, at least, that's what he told himself.

"I passed!" Blaine exclaimed running up to and sticking his arm under the hood to wave a piece of paper in Kurt's face. "I can officially drive and my mom gave me the car for the afternoon so we should go somewhere."

"I'm busy," Kurt sighed back in annoyance wiping the sweat from his forehead.

Blaine seemed to take a step back then and look at all the tools he had spread out and his messy appearance. "It's Sunday. You guys are closed. Why are you even here?"

"It's for Mrs. Harris."

"No it's not," Blaine argued, hoping up onto the wheel well and making himself comfortable. "It's not the jocks at school again is it?"

"No, Blaine. I can take care of myself thank-you," Kurt answered, his eyes still glued to the motor and his hands still busy.

"Are you mad at me?"

"What makes you think that?" He asked, his sarcastic bite coming through.

"Well…your lovely tone for one. But mostly because you were ignoring my calls and you don't seem remotely excited for me…..Wait! That's why you're mad, isn't it?"

"Can you give it a try?" Kurt asked, finally looking up from his work but for all intents and purposes, continuing to ignore his best friend.

Blaine didn't ignore him though, and he promptly leaned back and reached in the open car window to turn the key. As he did so his navy blue polo shirt tightened around the firm muscles and rode up so Kurt could see the tan sliver of skin of Blaine's lower stomach that was exposed. He even caught a glimpse of the dark, course gathering of hair below Blaine's belly button that he had secretly been watching develop over the past few years. He blushed hotly at the sight and mentally turned back to the task at hand before he was caught.

"That doesn't sound too good," Blaine grimaced at the screeching sound as the engine tried and failed to turn over.

"No," Kurt sighed in agreement and then continued with an agitated mumble. "But unlike you, I actually know what the problem is because Mr. 'I-just-got-my-licence' knows absolutely nothing about cars."

"What was that," Blaine asked as he put the engine temporarily out of its misery and sat up properly again, leaning forwards slightly to prompt Kurt's answer.

Kurt didn't pay him any attention though and turned around to grab an assortment of tools from the self behind him before returning to the left hand side of the car, and diving in.

"I knew that's why you were mad," Blaine continued, seemingly unfazed. "You're jealous that I got my licence before you did."

Kurt chose not to acknowledge the accusation. It was true of course, just another example of how Blaine was always right. It just wasn't fair though. His birthday was in March, four months before Blaine's, meaning that he should have gotten his licence first. Despite growing up around cars though and knowing the ins and outs of nearly every model on the road and how to recognize mechanical failures as well as repair them, actually driving the cars was not something he had been able to grasp quickly. Even with his dad's help he had managed to fail the test twice and not being able to drive was yet another thing to add to his growing list of inadequacies at being a teenage boy.

"Oh, come on, it's not that big a deal."

"It is though," he finally snapped, dropping his wrench and finally meeting Blaine's eyes. "I just- I think it's pretty obvious that I don't like typical guy things. I've never really fit in and my dad doesn't even really talk to me because he has no idea what to say. Cars have always been something we had though and it's always been at least one conversation I can participate in but now, no, that's gone too."

"What are you talking about?" Blaine asked sympathetically. "Not being able to drive doesn't mean you can't still fix them. And you just need practise."

"That's beside the point," he responded with an eye role.

"Which is..." Blaine prompted.

Kurt sighed heavily and turned around, leaning back onto the car. It's not like he and Blaine hadn't talked about this stuff before but it was always hard and getting increasingly harder as the years went on and Kurt began to see the differences between him and all the other boys grow and grow. He sometime wondered why Blaine still stuck around because he seemed to fit in with all the guys at school where as Kurt was always the outcast and he worried that actually telling Blaine what was bothering him would somehow turn that light bulb on and drive his best, and really, his only, friend away.

"Sometimes I feel inadequate, okay?" he began softly. "There's nothing really about me that's manly. And most of the time that just results in a bit of harassment at school, which I can handle and all, but sometimes- well sometimes it hits a little closer to home and I start to feel like maybe I am some weird freak or...whatever...and that I'll be some outcast for the rest of my life. I don't know. Like I said, cars are like the one thing I had but now that's not even really true."

"Of course it's true. You seemed to be on to something before I interrupted," Blaine replied as he walked around the hood of the car to stand next to him and picked up the wrench and placed it in his hands with a playful nudge. "And you're certainly not inadequate. I won't argue with the fact that you're different and idiots at school harp on you for it but they're idiots. They place no value in intelligence or humour or kindness. They still work with the caveman system," Blaine joked. "Girls, on the other hand, tend to be a bit more evolved however so you're definitely going to end up a head on that one."

As nice as Blaine's words were, the girl comment was all Kurt could focus on, making the rest simply fade, unnoticed and unabsorbed, into grey background. Comments like these always did. And not that Kurt completely bought what Blaine said – the last time he looked it was those idiots who had the cheerleaders lined up, not him – but even if he did, getting the girl was the last thing he was concerned about. In actuality, Kurt contributed most of his problems to this fact.

He had never liked girls. Sure, saving the princess from the dragon when he was younger had seemed a noble deed that he would accept on any day but when the slaying was through, he had always wanted to return home to his prince, not the damsel in distress. And although it wasn't particularly the idiots at school that made his stomach come alive with butterflies, their constant rejection of even the most platonic interaction was increasingly discouraging because they represented the average male population. It was discouraging to the point that he had long ago given up on his crush on Blaine even though he was always sweet to him and genuinely seemed to enjoy his company so much that he was often the one to seek it out. He had never had much hope in the first place but it was there and as he grew up a learned that Blaine was most likely attracted to girls, his thoughts drifted into finding someone like Blaine. Ultimately though, two years into high school had all but killed that hope and left him very pessimistic and disheartened about his future as well as, at times, insecure about the strongest friendship he had.

"I know that doesn't really help much," Blaine continued empathetically, hanging his head and slipping his hands in his pockets in defeat after Kurt's only response was silence. "It's funny how some words have all the power to destroy you and yet there are never any to build you back up. You can try but it all just seems so worthless."

"I wouldn't call it worthless," Kurt finally answered back because although they hadn't sunk in, it was nice to know that someone cared enough to try. "Thank-you."

"Don't sweat it," Blaine smiled, shrugging his shoulders. "Now teach me how to fix this thing so you no longer have to be appalled at my lack of knowledge."

"Only if you teach me to drive?" he proposed with an eager smile, turning to face his friend.

"I'm not sure that legal," Blaine mused, avoiding eye contact.

"Please. I can tell my dad's getting frustrated."

"That doesn't really make it more appealing."

Kurt slapped Blaine's shoulder playfully at the teasing. "We could go for that drive and we could go up to the french fry stand just off the highway. There are lots of deserted roads out there."

"You buying?"

"I suppose," Kurt huffed with an eye role.

"Okay Hummel, you got yourself a deal," Blaine agreed with a smirk, a smirk that Kurt couldn't help but find adorable and also incredibly sexy. Suddenly the idea of teaching Blaine about cars just got better.

"Yay! Okay so," Kurt began, spinning around get back to work. "At first I thought it was the battery. It's been really hot recently and sometimes that can cause the battery fluid to evaporate a bit so I distilled some water and topped it up but clearly that wasn't the problem."

"Like in chemistry?"

"Yeah, I actually figured out how to set it all up from there so if it's just a little top up you don't have to buy the actual fluid. You can actually just use tap water too if you're desperate but the impurities can wreck the battery over time."

"Good to know," Blaine nodded sounding impressed.

"It is good to know. That's why I think a little real car knowledge should be required to pass the test. Anyways, so now I think it's the starter. It can't be totally shot though because you could hear it trying so it should be fixable. Probably either a loose connection here or it's sticking inside."

"Okay, so do you just tighten everything?" Blaine asked, leaning in closer to get a look at where Kurt was pointing.

Kurt couldn't help but smile at the way their shoulders touched. "Yeah. So here, take this," he instructed, handing Blaine the wench. "And then just there but gently."

He watched carefully as Blaine turned his wrist slowly, slightly fixated on how big his hands had gotten and how tanned his skin was. Kurt had to admit that there was a bit of jealously when it came to his still delicate, girly looking hands and ghostly, pale skin. At least it gave him something nice to look at though.

Apparently Blaine's hands had gotten stronger too though and almost as soon as he had started applying pressure, the wire broke away from the connecting bolt.

"Oh shit!"

"Oh my god! What did you do? I told you to be gentle."

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I swear I was gentle. Here!" Blaine shot up in panic, thrusting the wench back into his hands and backing away in surrender. Kurt had never seen his eyes so wide in horror. It was very cute.

"Relax," he laughed. "I'm kidding. This actually makes easier because now we know what the problem is. Loose connection," he said with a smile as he patted Blaine on the shoulder and walked past him to the shelves to get the soldering iron.

"Wait, are serious?" Blaine asked after he stood there a little daze for a bit.

"Yes, Blainers," Kurt assured, flushing a little at the slip of the old nick name. "Now come help me. I need someone to hold the pliers."

"Umm…"

"It's fine, it's easy. Now-No! Don't touch that. It's hot," he scolded, batting Blaine's hand away from the soldering iron. "Pliers! Pliers only."

"Okay, okay. Jeesh!"

After Blaine successfully picked up the pliers without burning himself, Kurt instructed him how hold the broken wire that he had stripped with them. "Don't move. Like I said, hot," he informed, pointing at the tip of the iron.

"Wait, what are doing with that? Why is coming so close to me?"

"That's why I told you not to move. Just stay still and you won't get burned."

"Or don't bring hot, pokey things near my hands! Kuuurt."

"I'm almost done," he admonished while carefully melting the solder wire around the broken connection. He felt Blaine lean in closer trying to duck his head around to see what he was doing. The contact on top of the cute whining threatened to unsteady his hands. He took a deep relaxing breath. "There, done. Not so bad huh?" He asked, turning to Blaine with a smirk. It fell rather quickly though as he realized just how close Blaine actually was. The bright hazel eyes were inches from his own and they had never looked so big before as they stared in childlike wonderment at the repair job. They truly were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

"That's so cool," Blaine exclaimed as he turned to look back at him.

"Yeah?" he questioned, turning around himself to put the tools back so as not to get caught staring.

"Totally. So it's fixed? It works now?"

"It should. Give it a go."

Kurt watched as Blaine bounded excitedly around to the driver's side of the car and stretched his arm through the window to turn the key. The engine roared to life instantly and that little rush of pride rushed through him, just as it did every time he succeeded in fixing a car. It was a little heightened this time though due to the pure excitement on Blaine's face.

"Alright, well, driving time?" he asked as let the hood down.

"Yes but I think you forgot about one thing first."

"What?" Kurt asked cautiously detecting the mischief in Blaine's voice.

"This," Blaine answered simply bringing a hidden hand out from behind his back. His index finger was covered grease and before Kurt could run away, said grease was being swiped down his nose.

He stood frozen, slack jawed in shock. "Blaine! Oh my god. Why would you do that?"

"Well it's already smeared all over your forehead. I was finishing the look. I've never seen you so disheveled before," Blaine explained feigning innocence while backing away.

"You're dead, Anderson!" Kurt stated as a playful and joyful rage began filling him and before he could think about safety protocol he was making a beeline for the grease canister and sprinting after Blaine with it, laughing, like he always did with his best friend.

"Yeah, I love that place," he hummed in contemplation, while the waitress returned and set down their coffees. He wrapped his hands around the mug, soaking in the warmth. Even in the heat of summer he found it comforting. "I swear the shop was the only place where I felt like I was on the same page as my dad."

"I know, I remember," Blaine nodded from across the table before taking a sip of his coffee. "Not bad."

"Mm agreed," he offered after trying his own. I wasn't New York but it hit all the right spots. "I'm excited to see him again. I worry sometimes. He's like the only person I'm looking forward to seeing."

"Really? But you had lots of friends in college."

"I'm not dreading seeing everyone, it's just dad's the only one on my list. How bout you?"

"Dreading?"

"Yeah."

"Umm, no one really."

"Really? Not even Rachel?" Kurt asked sceptically.

"I don't think she'll come."

"Seriously? Rachel? The queen of taking anything and making it about her, especially when large groups of her peers are involved."

"Oh, right. I forgot about that," Blaine chuckled, shaking his head. "She'll be there won't she?"

"Afraid so."

"Okay well add one to my list."