Chaos Theory – Re-keyed. Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Neon Genesis Evangelion/Stargate SG-1/Star Wars/Star Trek/Halo/Lord of the Rings Crossover...
---
Title: Chaos Theory: Re-keyed
Rating: PG - Language and Violence.
Genre: Crossover
Author: PitViper
Date (Part Four): 2007-10-20
Summary: This is a BtVS/NGE/SG-1/SW/ST/LotR/Halo crossover. Based on the Halloween costume episode. Very AU. The Key's spell goes both forwards and backwards in time… what happens when it interacts with Ethan's Halloween?
Disclaimer: I don't own it, wish I did. I'm not making any money off of it – so please don't sue me. BtVS is the property of Mutant Enemy and 20th Century Fox. Neon Genesis Evangelion is the product of Gainax and ADV Films. Star Wars is owned by George Lucas. Stargate SG-1 belongs to Double Secret Productions and Sci-Fi channel. Lord of the Rings is the property of J.R.R. Tolkien and his family. Halo is owned by Bungie. And Star Trek is the property of Paramount Pictures (Who obviously understand nothing about Gene's vision of the future)
Chaos Theory: Re-keyed
Part Four: "A New Day"
Jack looked at the time. He then blinked, and looked at the time again. Then he decided he'd try to close his eyes and wish the clock away. After what felt like several seconds, he opened one eye just the tiniest of bits… and still saw the same time. 4:29am.
It was wrong. The sun hadn't crested the horizon. The birds hadn't started chirping. The stars were still out in the sky shining.
And the only thing his body wanted to do was get up and run.
"Ah… nuts." He whispered, enjoying the moment for a bit longer. Then the clock turned to 4:30, and he opened his eyes completely, ending all pretense of trying to remain asleep.
"Normally I'd say rise and shine, but considering you're already up…" Cortana said cheerfully in his head.
For his part, Jack looked around for the voice that seemed to be coming from everywhere. Realizing it was in his head… "I thought you were confined to the helmet?"
"Your neural-lace is designed to hold me. The helmet just has the port my storage crystal slips into and the up-link transceivers." Cortana replied, as Jack stretched a bit and worked on finding clothes. "I was hesitant to reveal that I actually uploaded myself into your neural lace – since I knew you wouldn't be able to sleep properly if I had. The Chief always knew, of course, but it was more subliminal knowledge than conscious. Given a choice, I'd rather spend as little time as possible inside that damn chip – its processing capacity and storage space is pitiful."
Jack didn't want to think about that. In fact, he didn't want to be thinking at all as he was getting dressed. Since he had brought civvies for this trip he quickly attempted to divine which clothes had at least the remotest possibility of being able to fit his new physique. He finally selected some cargo pants and a previously loose-fitting T-shirt. As he stretched the non-descript cotton shirt over his head, he couldn't help but notice that everything seemed more muscular. "I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger…" Jack muttered, his muscles filling every square micron of clothing… and then some. "I'm gonna hafta go to the mall." He drawled angrily.
"It could be worse." Cortana said softly.
"O'really?" Jack replied glibly.
He could feel Cortana practically nodding in his head, "Yep. You could be waking up inside Mjolinar armor, and hip-deep in covenant soldiers after only thirty minutes sleep."
"Right. That would be worse."
"Glad we can agree." Cortana smirked. "Of course, you could have also gone as an anime character… such as…" Cortana thought for a few seconds, "Ranma ½." Jack could almost feel her mental smirk.
"And that would mean?"
"If someone splashed cold water on you, you'd become a female." Cortana said with a smirk.
Jack simply growled in response.
"So, lets get running. The other me told her charge 15 miles this morning, Lets do 12 just to take it easy on the old man." Cortana said, barely concealing her humor.
"I'll show you 'old man'." Jack grumbled as he prepared for his run.
---
Sam sprung awake, blinking as though suddenly shocked to find herself in such a state. A quick glance at the clock showed that she had awoken about 20 minutes after she had gone to sleep.
Because of the state of her hybrid body, she felt like she had slept for a week.
Sam glanced over at her roommate. Janet was sleeping peacefully enough, but Sam knew from experience that the doctor often slept in short bursts, because of her almost constant on-call nature at the SGC. Sam spared a small smirk. Usually as the only female on an operation, she'd get a room to herself, or would bunk with Teal'c or Daniel – usually Teal'c though, since Jack didn't often trust Daniel with anyone other than himself.
"So why do you think Daniel wanted to room with Teal'c this evening?" Janet suddenly asked.
The shock of hearing the Doctor's voice after determining she was sound asleep raised her pulse rate and blood pressure slightly. But Sam recovered very quickly, "Don't know, but I was just thinking the same thing."
Janet rolled over onto her side, propping her head up on one arm. "Dollars to donuts that he didn't want to get woken up by Jack when he went for his morning run."
Carter raised an eyebrow at her friend, "When did you suddenly go telepathic on us?"
"Sam…" Janet giggled slightly, "Jack dressed as a NCO Marine. Doesn't matter that he's some sort of sci-fi marine, they all get up at ungodly hours of the morning to run their bodies into the ground. It's going to be a while before he'll be able to dump that part of his personality."
---
Teal'c looked over at Daniel. The man's eyes were open, albeit it staring blankly into the distance. "DanielJackson," Teal'c said sitting in a meditative position. "I believe O'Neill has embarked upon his morning run, as you suggested he would."
A large snorting snore was emitted from Daniel's mouth while he continued to stare open-eyed at the distant wall.
Teal'c blinked twice, waving his hand in front of his friend's open eyes. Not getting a response, he stretched out with his newly acquired force-senses and discovered his friend was deeply asleep. Not having anyone to speak with, Teal'c decided to return to his meditations on the Force.
---
"Come back here, overbite." Xander growled at the fleeing vamp. "I wanna teach you a lesson about interfering with a person's morning RUN!" He increased his speed, "Don't make me chase you, otherwise I won't be as quick about making my point."
Jack blinked as his fellow possessed Spartan blurred after a vampire who had evidently been out for an early morning snack. Jack increased his pace slightly, following along Xander's path.
Soon Jack caught up to the young man, hearing the distinctive snap-hiss sound of a Lightsaber. He watched with morbid curiosity as the young man calmly decapitated the vamp, and the undead creature turned to dust.
Xander calmly dusted himself off. "Crap. I forgot to mug 'em before I dusted him."
Jack couldn't help but blink at that, "You mug vampires?"
"Yep." Xander said, clipping his now deactivated lightsaber to his fatigues' belt. "Way I figure it, the Vamp's just stealing a dead guy and all the stuff he had. So what if I liberate a few bucks to pay for my morning cup of coffee or afternoon can of Dew?" Xander looked over the older man – officer – before him. "Um… you did bring a weapon other than your 9mm right?"
Jack blinked at that. "No… I figure the 9 is enough, why?"
"Wood to the heart, decapitation and sunlight, those are the only quick ways to make a vamp fill a Dust Buster." Xander lectured. "As Spartans we've got the speed and the dexterity to fight 'em… but one on one… hand to hand… the vamp still has a strength advantage unless you're in Mjolinar." Xander tossed Jack a stake. "Carry this all the time when you're out in the dark." Xander thought for a moment, "On second thought, always carry it. Where ever you go. Now that you've seen the supernatural up close, it's going to be able to see you."
Jack wanted to argue – he'd seen bullets do a lot to most of his enemies. "But isn't the gun easier? I mean, even if it doesn't kill them…"
"Look, Jack." Xander started, "You have to get a medulla or spinal cord shot. Anything else they heal in less than a minute. Shooting out their brains just makes them uncoordinated, and it certainly doesn't make them any dumber. Shooting them anywhere else just pisses them off." He winced as he thought about it, "Unless you want to de-ball em… The males are as male as any creature, but being a guy… I would hesitate to do that even to a vampire. There are just some lines that shouldn't be crossed."
"Right. Well… should we finish our morning exercise? Lots to do today, y'know?" Jack said, hoping to end the morbid conversation.
---
It was six am.
They were all gathered back at the school library.
They weren't happy.
Because it was six am. And they were gathered in the School library, on a Monday. Knowing Snyder, they'd still have classes all day today unless something specifically came up. In fact, most in the room were praying that the previous night's escapades would be enough.
Alas, their happiness was something that long ceased to be a concern for them. They were willing to settle for having no causalities. It was something that both the Scoobies and the SGC had in common – the fact that they were willing to settle for everyone coming back in one piece.
The first thing Frasier did was check on Willow, under the watchful eye of both the Slayer and Giles. The tricorder showed an increase in cerebral activity, but she was still in an unconscious state. Then she examined the still sleeping Drusilla, who was sleeping rather peacefully. Her injuries were healed, but she figured that the former vamp was simply making up for several lifetimes of lost sleep. With a sigh she walked over to a desk and sat. Sam and Daniel were both already sitting there. They had spoken with Giles, who had been obsessed with making sure that the chaos mage was fully contained. To that end, Daniel cast several binding spells which surprisingly suppressed Ethan's Force powers.
Jenny Calendar was twitching nervously, with the Williams' sisters sitting next to her. Fortunately Dawn hadn't shown up yet – because she was sure that the recent Halloween possessions were still playing havoc with their memories and feelings. Hence the reason for her nervous twitching – she actually wanted a cup of that damnable coffee from the teacher's lounge and to go and smoke a pack of cigarettes. Neither of which she was planning on doing.
Lilly huffed in frustration. She had been highly influenced by the German girl, and was frustrated at having to get up so early just to come to the School library before classes began. "This sucks," She growled out in English laced with a German accent, "I don't want to go back to Junior High. I graduated high school already for God's sake…"
"And you'll graduate it again." Carol smirked, "Look at it this way: you don't have to worry about Angels attacking on a daily basis." She watched happily as her little sister chewed on that thought for a moment, then she looked at Jenny, "Jenny, just keep on telling yourself its all in your mind. I've found that helps…" She looked down at her body – having been transformed into the overly busty Misato Katsuragi for the evening. She flicked a bit of purple-black hair out of her eyes as she thought upon her now more-permanent assets. "At least a little. You don't know how much I had to fight to keep from searching the fridge for a Yebisu beer this morning… or expecting to see Pen Pen waddle out of his fridge."
Jenny sighed while changing the subject, "I called the others this morning, those who were in Ms. Summer's gallery last night, told them to come by around seven fifteen. I couldn't get hold of Jim McNeil, though. I rang him three times, the first two it rang, the third time it just went to a busy signal."
"His parents are out for the week." Carol said absently, "Although his sisters probably took him back and checked on him, odds are they left him unsupervised to commiserate with each other. Now if you were a young man with the life experiences of James Tiberius Kirk, what would you do?"
"He's not you… I mean Misato. He wouldn't bury himself in a bottle." Jenny countered. Then she thought about the other woman's logic, and decided she was coloring it wrong. Her own reactions to the evening had proven that. "Wait a second, who am I kidding? Of course he's buried in a bottle. I nearly did it last night myself."
"This is why I hate being this sober," Carol said with a sad smile on her face. "I worry about little things like this. I just hope he had the good sense to stop, and that Tim Morgan hadn't stopped by… otherwise they'll both be blasted."
Jenny chuckled at that, "Either that, or 'Scotty' will be half-way done building a runabout out of the family mini-van."
After a few moments of silence, the doors to the library swung open, admitting Xander and Jack, both fresh from their morning run and a quick stop for some breakfast. Jack began with a cheerful voice: "Howdy Campers. How are we on this fine morning?"
A glare from Buffy immediately informed Jack of the dangers of annoying the Slayer at six in the morning. This was soon followed by a base growl which made the man's eyebrow rise.
Xander came to the rescue, fortunately for Jack. "Told ya," He said as he passed his fellow Spartan. He tossed Buffy a bag of donuts as he started speaking. "Buff, got your Jellies."
The slayer grabbed the bag from mid-air and quickly tore it open. The first donut was devoured almost before Xander completed his sentence. The second donut was well on its way down the hatch before the Slayer noted Xander bringing a wonderful smelling cup of coffee to the table nearest her.
It took a few moments before the Jedi in Buffy started kicking in. The slayer immediately began to recede as Xander watched her with a warm smile. "See. Jelly filling really does soothe the savage beast."
"Mmmmph." Buffy agreed around a mostly devoured third donut. She hadn't really had a hankering for donuts like that for a while… "Thanks," She said, finally able to form coherent thoughts without the interference of jelly-filled donut.
"Don't worry," Xander intoned as he looked at the rest of the gathering, "Andrew is right behind me with the rest of the breakfast. I figured it was better I come in first with the Slayer-peace offering."
The sight of the large alien coming in laden with various bags of breakfast material shocked most of those gathered who had not seen the Sangheili the previous night. "Well… at least one thing can be said for Sunnydalers: they're consistent." Andrew muttered, "The waitress at the Waffle House barely batted an eyelash when I placed my order. She even threw in an extra jug-o-syrup as a bonus."
Xander laughed, "She's quarter Braken demon or something like that. Peaceful sort, although more towards the bottle than I'd care to get. I've not been able to figure out which side gives the alcoholism though, the demon or the Irish."
That admission got the attention of the other members of Sunnydale High.
"It's 'Bracken', and likely a bit of both, I dare say." Giles added in, gazing over the gathered breakfast items. "Xander, do you Americans even have a concept of 'nutrition'?"
"Beats O-negative any day of the week," Spike said, as he grabbed himself a large waffle. He spoke to the waffle with a tear in his eye, "Come here, luv. Daddy's been waiting to enjoy you all morning…"
The comment drew the gazes from everyone around as Spike loaded butter and whipped cream onto the top of his breakfast. He glanced up and noticed the look everyone was giving him, "Oh bugger off." He announced, glaring at the Scoobies, "You know the Poof is out there right now enjoying the same thing as I am. No one ever said that drinking blood tasted good, you know? Filled you with power yes – satisfied hunger, yes, but it still tasted like eating a plate full of bloody iron filings." As he savored his first bite of human food in a over hundred years, he glanced around again. He chewed happily as the waffle made its way down his throat. 'I'm gonna have to be careful about this. If I don't watch it, I'll end up gaining a hundred pounds. They'll start calling me 'The Blimp formerly known as Spike'.'
Just then the doors opened to reveal Angel walking in, a cup of coffee in one hand and an English muffin sticking out of his mouth. "Mhat?" he said, partially chewing as he spoke around the bread. He blinked his eyes at the sight of breakfast at the table, and almost cried in joy.
Buffy could feel the happy emotions rolling off her boyfriend, thanks to her experiences as Siri. "Hey. How 'bout some love in this direction?"
Giles glared at both Angel and Buffy.
"Way to think with your stomach, Obi," Xander smirked as he grabbed a waffle to go with his milk. He sent the equivalent of a wink down the master-padawan pipeline, as he'd come to think of it. He looked over at Giles and smirked, "And don't try to convince the Buffster that her and a 200 year old vamp wouldn't make a good couple. Evidently the girls find his 'Dark and broody' ass to be the pinnacle of romance." Giles went to start his lecture but Xander interrupted, "But if you ask me, it's just a case of pedophilia maximus."
Angel ignored the words Xander was saying, still trying to figure out where that mental intrusion had come from. He twitched slightly as he realized that he now had a padawan link with both Dru and Xander. "Oh God… Not that… anything but that…" He twitched as he got a hint of displeasure from Giles, realizing that there was yet another master-apprentice bond. Suddenly he lost his appetite.
"Oh, yes, my former master-possessed Deadboy." He said, looking at the former bane of his existence. "Luckily you're alive now, which means instead of dusting you, I just get to beat the hell out of you during saber practice." Xander took a bite of his waffle and a sip of milk, "Same feeling of satisfaction on a regular schedule." The boy smiled with pleasure, not knowing if it was the waffle-goodness, Former Dead-boy's expression, or the fact that he would have an excellent chance to beat up the former master-vamp in the guise of training. Today was a good day.
"Buffy," Giles started, "You do realize that consorting with a two hundred year old master vampire, souled or not, would be considered as going against your duty as a… Vampire Slayer?"
"Hey, I mean… he's Liam now, right? Heartbeat, and all that. So not a vampire."
"Be that as it may," Giles continued, "He was still your undead paramour. Don't you find that just a bit disturbing?" He asked pointedly, "Essentially you were dating an animated corpse."
"I thought it was romantic. Wills thought so too." Buffy said, looking at the still unconscious girl.
"Well…" Giles thought for a moment, "Given the age difference between Liam and you…" He glared at Angel for a minute, "I think it would be best if you were to put some distance between yourselves…"
"What!" Buffy practically screamed.
"Buff…" Angel started but was cut off by Giles.
"While 'romantic' and all that," Giles said, taking a long sip of tea, "You weren't even thinking about the ramifications of taking an undead… being as your lover. Now that Liam is mortal once more and his body no longer… undead…" Giles barely suppressed a shudder, "you have a whole new level of considerations to concern yourself with. I, for one, would not like explaining to your mother exactly why her daughter ended up pregnant to a former Master Vampire whose previous life involved a trail of broken hearts and used women."
"Huh?" Buffy asked, her eyebrow quirked.
"He was a drunken asshole who preferred his women dumb and blonde – he was a womanizer." Xander offered, having read some of the background on Angelus. "And I'm not making that up, Buff. My reasons for disliking Deadboy… former Deadboy if you will, are manifold." He blinked, then smiled, "Hey, I used 'manifold' in a sentence and used it without car terminology. Go me!"
"That's just a little harsh." Angel defended himself, "True… but harsh. Believe me; I've regretted that period of my life a lot. And I've had two hundred years to think about it. I even regretted it as Angelus, if only because some of the reputation I had stuck with me for the next thirty years or so."
"Even so, not so dead Dead-boy, you shouldn't be lusting after Buffy over here – after Liam died in his mid to upper twenties, and here you are hounding a sixteen year old. It may be above the age of consent in some states, but it's still not of the good." Xander informed the former vamp.
"As interesting as this all is," Jack said, breaking into the conversation. "I think its time for us to start discussing how we're going to handle getting everyone who was changed by 'Ethan the formerly male Chaos Mage' into school today."
---
Mayor Wilkins was frowning. His morning had been ruined. The sad part was that he literally could do nothing to make his day better. Oh, he could smite this government official before him – but that would attract undue attention, and be so unfulfilling in the long run. "So… let me get this straight, the U.S. Air Force wants to come into town and gather all the… victims of a Halloween prank in order to..." He flipped several pages while Major 'Disaster' Davis shifted from one foot to the other, "Ensure that the individuals involved were not exposed to some sort of nerve toxin or biological contaminant?"
"That's the crux of it." Davis said, his eyes watching the Mayor warily. Something about the mayor was setting off his flight or fight vibes – something every soldier eventually gathered. "We had a team in town investigating some strange occurrences when they were affected… by what I can only imagine was some sort of mind-altering toxin. Some of the things they reported as seeing just aren't possible. And we want to make sure that everyone who was affected isn't suffering permanently from this event: Whether it was man-made or natural." Davis smiled internally; it was all the truth, really. Although he knew there was no toxin involved, the things SG-1 reported as having happened were incredible. Almost as incredible as a ten-million year old stone ring capable of sending people from one end of the galaxy to the other in a blink of an eye.
"And would you… cover it up if it turned out to be man-made?" The mayor asked, "Gosh, I mean, I don't want people getting frightened that this was some sort of government faux-pas and that Sunnydale was an unsafe place to live." After all, people leaving would mean less food once he ascended.
"With all due respect, Mr. Mayor, while I despise the idea that someone in your position might think that the Air Force would do anything to intentionally mislead the American public, there are many classified projects that must remain secret. If this event should be proven to be man-made then of course in the interest of National Security," Davis cringed inwardly as he fed the line to the Mayor, "it would be in the interests of the Air Force to classify the event and compensate the affected individuals to ensure their recovery from this traumatic event." He watched the Mayor's face brighten considerably. "Of course, we would ask these people not to discuss the event publicly. I don't think that they would find much to gain by doing so in any case."
This was turning out better than he thought. If he could get the Air Force – the unacknowledged masters of the art of the cover up – involved, he should be able to sweep the Chaos Mage's screw-up under the proverbial rug. After all, everyone knew that aliens had crashed in Roswell, New Mexico. Everyone knew that the results of that crash were kept at Area 51. What everyone didn't know was that both of these events were used to cover up the truth: That aliens had built the ancient Pyramids thousands of years ago. They didn't know that there existed alien technology that was only recently discovered by the Air Force. They didn't know that the "Roswell Crash" was actually a scheduled landing meant to convince certain members of the Air Force that developing the technology that they'd acquired over the years would be very dangerous indeed. Unfortunately, the Asgard ship crashed after having flown over Sunnydale. Wilkins had enjoyed casting that lightning spell. "I see, Mr. Davis. Of course, you'll have my offices' full cooperation in this matter."
"Excellent, Mr. Mayor. General Hammond will be pleased to hear this. Of course, we'll keep our presence minimal. No overt military personnel – only medical and our more discrete military operatives will be in your town. I don't see our operation lasting more than two weeks. Will that be satisfactory?"
"Of course," The mayor smiled. "Just be a bit careful, there are some rumors of street gangs at night, very vicious. You might want to avoid going out at night, just to be safe" After all, it wouldn't do to have turned military personnel roaming about Sunnydale.
Davis nodded, a chill going down his spine as he realized that the Mayor knew what this town was like after dark. 'Vampires and vampire slayers…' Davis thought, 'what's next? The crew of the Enterprise in childrens' bodies?'
---
Author's notes:
Thanks for all the reviews, I truly appreciate them. A few people have suggested that this is an unlikely gathering of costumes for Halloween: That there should be more Superman and comic book characters, more heroes and villains and such. The truth is that a line has to be drawn somewhere. There are only so many fandoms one can attack in a single story before it just becomes a clustered morass of incoherent ramblings.
But rest assured, our heroes aren't the only ones who have gathered together and are forming plans for the future. Both good and evil were unleashed, but the Spartan's group isn't the only group in Sunnydale. Without giving away much of the storyline I have planned for this epic, I'll say this: From time to time, paths will intertwine, sometimes for good, sometimes for not. Remember that sometimes even heroes can fail to answer the call and may choose to live a normal life, and sometimes those you think least likely to stand up to be heroes, do.
Chapter five is turning out to be very long. Its still more introduction and discussion rather than action, but its setting up everything that will come after.
Later
PitViper