With each follow and favorite, and occasional review, that entered my email I felt a tad bit more guilty that I couldn't figure out how to end this fic. So I finally just sat down, and forced myself to at least get some creative juices flowing. It took a loooong while, but something finally clicked.
This was a fun fic to write. I had different plans for it initially. It was meant to be a one shot, for one. And the plot line was supposed to go in a different direction. But, I am happy with how it turned out none the less.
On a different note, have you guys seen the new image Marvel released for Thor The Dark World? It's pretty awesome. :D Go look it up~
You guys are awesome. I thank everyone who favorited and followed this. And I love everyone who reviewed. You words brought a smile to my face. :)
I truly hope you enjoy~
"There's some things in life you have to share. You have to have someone to lean on, and they'll help you get through."
After Tony had left the room the team had fell into a deafening silence, each being consumed by various levels of guilt. All but Loki. He had decided that he wasn't at fault, and found pleasure in seeing each member squirm from their own guilt ridden thoughts. His amusement quickly dissipated when everyone came to a conclusion that the team as a whole needed to apologize.
"Must I be included in the task of apologizing to Stark?" grumbled Loki as he made his way up the stairs.
"Yes Loki. Each one of us had a hand at causing what happened, whether intentional or not. You are not excluded," snapped Steve, who had already reached the top of the stairs. He crossed his arms and gave the trickster god a stern look. Loki scowled, muttering something under his breath but kept quiet after that. Once everyone was in the upper part of the room, they looked at each other, then towards the door leading out.
"Where do you think Friend Tony has gone?" question Thor, glancing at the team with an unsure face.
"It's Tony. Where do you think?" quipped Natasha, still miffed at herself and letting it show in her words.
"I agree," said Bruce "He most likely went to the closest place with alcohol."
Steve also nodded his agreement and started towards the door. "Alright, then let's go back to the main living room." He opened the door, and was reminded that their was no electricity in the building. With everything that had went down he had forgotten. He briefly wondered how Tony had managed to maneuver in the dark before he snapped himself out of it. Standing around was getting them nowhere. "Loki, we need some light," he said, directing his statement over his shoulder. The next second a small orb appeared before him, and he started through. Thor and Bruce followed. Loki sighed, then followed too.
Natasha glanced back at Clint. He was staring intently at a spot beyond her, but she knew he was not really looking at it. He had been unnaturally quiet since Tony had left. "Clint,...we all messed up. As Steve said, we are all to blame. It is not just your fault."
She did not think her words helped, but she did not like him beating himself up. After a few moments of silence she was about to walk out the door, not wanting to have to find her way in the dark and knowing Clint would follow. She hesitated when he started to speak, voice barely above a whisper.
"I was the one who pushed him in. Thor had sat him down...kept him out of the water. You, Bruce, and Steve...you guys had no part in it. Loki even tried to stop it from happening. I, Nat, I made him fall into the water. I agree with Loki. Him, you, everybody else...you guys have no real blame in this. It was all me."
Natasha noticed that with each sentence Clint spoke he grew more agitated, running his hands through his hair harshly and making wild gestures with them. When he had finished he had practically worked himself up into a full panic, eyes clearly conveying the guilt and fear that he was feeling. Guilt over what happened, and fear of what was to come.
"Clint," she began, voice equally as soft as she moved closer, " You are wrong. It was Thor's idea to bring him down. Steve, Bruce and I did do nothing. But not the nothing you are implying. We did not try to stop you two at all. We all thought it would be okay to throw him into the pool. And Loki knew. He knew, and yet he did not say anything. So Clint, it is not just your fault." While she had said this she had put both her hands on each side of his face, making him look at her. She saw something flicker in his eyes with her words. Something akin to longing. Hope. He wanted to believe her, but until things were fixed with Tony he couldn't. She could understand that. "Come on," she said, nudging him towards the door, "Let's go set things right."
They did not find Tony near the bar. He was not at the couches. He was nowhere in the living area. So, after brief deliberation the team decided to split up, each taking an orb of light to help.
"Just tap on the light when you find Stark. I will sense it and direct the other's lights to where he is," explained Loki. Everyone murmured an okay and went their separate ways.
That was how Clint found himself on the roof of the tower. Tapping hard at the stupid ball of light. In fact, he was practically beating at the thing. "Stupid Loki," he thought darkly. The infuriating god probably knew it was Clint, and was purposely taking forever to lead the other's to him. He had found Tony standing near the railing of the roof, surprisingly without drink in hand, but Clint wanted at least Natasha there before he spoke up. He scowled at the glowing orb of light. Maybe he should try to find someone himself. His thoughts were suddenly cut off by the sound of Tony's voice, and he jumped slightly, casting a wary glance towards the inventor.
"For a master assassin, you are failing at trying to stay undetected."
Clint frowned. Tony's voice held no snark to it. No joke. No sarcasm. No nothing. Was just empty, flat, and dead. Tony continued to stare out at New York, and Clint awkwardly ran his hand across the back of his neck. He decided to move closer to where he was only a couple of feet back from Tony, then attempted to speak. His voice cracked, and he hastily cleared his throat. Before he could try again Tony spoke up, silencing him.
"Listen, I do not want your pity. Nor do I need it. I'm fine. You can go back to the pool."
Clint winced at the only emotion laced in those words: anger. "He has every right to be angry at you," he mentally chided himself. "I," he began, then cleared his throat again. "Uh, I did not say I was going to pity you for what happened. I want to apologize."
"It's fine. I'm fine. Apology accepted. You can go now," quickly responded Tony, along with a wave of his hand signaling the want for Clint's departure. Clint gritted his teeth, tension building at the base of his neck and through his shoulders.
"That hardly sounded like you accepted my apology Tony. I don't think everything is fine," Clint gritted out, trying hard to resist clenching his fists in aggravation. Tony suddenly whipped around, pointing an accusatory finger at Clint.
"Do not try to play doctor with me!" he snarled, taking a few steps towards the archer. At that Clint did ball his hands into fists, and he could not keep his own anger out of his voice.
"That's not even close to what I am trying to do Tony! I want to make things right," he snapped back, then visibly tried to calm himself. After a few seconds he breathed out, "I want to help."
Tony halted in his steps, blinking at what Clint said. Confusion crossed Tony's features, which then turned into wariness. He cocked his head at Clint, narrowing his eyes. "Help? As if you understood," he spat, turning, moving back towards the railing. Clint took a deep breath, then closed the distance, moving to Tony's right side. He kept his eyes trained on some near by building as he worked up enough courage to speak.
"It was 13 years ago," he finally said. He felt Tony look at him, but he didn't meet his gaze. Didn't so much as flicker his eyes in his direction. He just keep looking at the building, focusing solely on that rooted structure. " I was careless in hiding my steps. It was a rookie mistake, but it cost me dearly. I was captured by the enemy while working undercover. They caught me off guard. There was too many. They drugged me then took me to some abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere," he paused, memories flooding back. He thought he heard Tony start to protest against his speaking, but it was a distant sound and he forced himself to continue before Tony stopped him.
"My leg was badly broken in the scuffle, and I had lost my bow in the attempt to fight them off. So, I could not run nor could I attack. They blindfolded and gagged me, hung me by the rafters, then beat me until I could no longer register the pain. I could not tell how long I was there. The blindfold not only kept me from seeing when the blows came, or who was distributing them, but from telling time. It disoriented me, left me guessing at what would come next. I kept on expecting them to get bored and finally do away with me. To kill me. I could not tell when they had left, but they had. All I knew was the darkness the blindfold gave me. Every little noise had me bracing myself for another hit. A splash of water would cause me to jump harshly. The skittering of a mouse would get me shaking. The blow of the wind through the cracks and holes in the walls had me yelling and pleading against the gag." He narrowed his eyes, pushing off the unease that he was feeling and trying hard to reign in the sudden urge to punch something, arms shaking from the effort. It had been so long since he relived these memories. But he kept talking. Tony needed to know he understood.
"When Natasha and some other SHIELD agents finally found the location of that God forsaken place I was a mess not only physically, but mentally. My brain didn't register that it was familiar voices speaking to me, so when they touched me to get me down I had reacted badly. It was when the blindfold was ripped off my face that I finally understood that I was being saved. They had told me that they caught the men, and the mission was a success. That I was going to be alright. But it was like it was all a dream. When I got back I thought if I just stayed with some sort of light constantly near me then everything would be okay. After I got released from the medical ward I started sleeping outside, and when I was questioned I gave some flimsy excuse. They bought it. I went out of my way to avoid any type of situations in where I would be placed in darkness. It worked, until one day the lights went out during a debriefing. The room we were in was meant for top-secret cases, meaning it was built for as much privacy as possible. That means windows were not included. It was only for a few seconds at most, but I lost it." Clint took a deep breath, eyebrows slightly scrunching together in thought. "I still can't handle the dark," he finally breathed out. After a few seconds he cleared his throat, tearing his eyes off the building and moving them towards the ground. "So,... I know. I get it. I understand." He moved his gaze back up, eyes clear and honest, locking with Tony's. "I swear to you Tony, I would never had done that would I had known."
Tony's anger had slowly faded away during Clint's story, leaving behind the strong feelings of embarrassment and shame. "Yeah,...yeah I know. I just...I did not think I would react that badly. I mean, sure there was times after I got back, but never to that extinct. Heck, I thought I was over it," he said, rubbing at his neck. "I...well, everyone was treating me like I was on a thin wire. Like-"
"Like a totally different person that would break if you touched them?" finished Clint. Tony gave him a wry smile.
"Exactly like that," he sighed.
Clint nodded, then grew somber. "Really Tony. I am sorry." Tony glanced at him, anger completely gone. He looked like he was about to say something, but at that moment everyone else barreled through the door.
"Friend Tony!" bellowed Thor "There you are!" He ran over and picked Tony up, giving him a big hug, making Tony yelp in protest. "I am soooo sorry! I did not mean to cause you harm."
"Yeah, uh-huh, okay. Now put me down," replied Tony, and Thor was quick to comply.
"I also am sorry. I should have realized sooner," said Natasha as she joined the small group. She was soon followed by Steve and Bruce.
"I am sorry too. As leader, I had the authority to make them stop. I didn't," said Steve, looking ashamed.
"I didn't try hard enough. Sorry Tony," added Bruce.
Last to join was Loki, who still looked miffed. "I apologize also," he mumbled, glaring a Steve who had given him an approving nod.
Tony looked at everyone, then sighed. "No, I should have told you guys. It was my fault." He paused, running a hand roughly across his beard then took a deep breath. "It's just, I thought things were fine. I thought I had grown immune to the fear. I did not think anyone needed to know how much of a wimp I am."
"Tony, having PTSD does not make you a wimp," Bruce said, giving the inventor a compassionate but stern look.
"I agree with Bruce. And I think I speak for everyone when I say that having it does not make you any less of a man. Any less of our friend. You are part of this team, and we will always be here to help," Clint added, giving a small smile as Tony looked at him.
Tony slowly moved his gaze over everybody else, and felt warmth spread through him. He wasn't alone in this. They didn't find him broken, or weak, or unfixable. They didn't pity him, or treat him like he was a ticking time bomb.
They treated him like part of the team. Like a friend. Like family.
A smile grew on his face, and he found tension that he didn't even know he had leave his shoulders. A weight that had been pressing down had disappeared. Tony started laughing, and at the confused looks that crossed the other's faces his laugh grew in volume. After a few moments Steve cleared his throat, attempting to catch Tony's attention.
"Uhh, Tony, you okay?"
Tony sobered, an occasional chuckle escaping every few seconds until all that was left was a soft smile. A calm peace flooded him. "Yeah Spangles, I am." He noticed Thor still giving him the puppy dog eyes, and his smile grew a little wider. "Oh what the heck. Come over here, Goldilocks," he said, spreading his arms signalling the okay for a hug. Thor's face lit up. He rushed over and immediately picked up the inventor. Tony responded with a loud, infectious laugh that melted away all the awkward wariness in the air. Soon everyone had joined in on the hug, albeit Steve had to practically drag Loki to be part of it.
They were friends. A team. A rag-tag, misfit, small group that had bonded together into some weird definition of a family. Yeah, families have problems, and they were not exempted from that, no matter how much super powers they had. But they were there for each other. To forgive when wronged and to listen and help when needed.
Tony grinned, deciding that he wouldn't want it any other way.
So, what did you guys think? I really had a rough time trying to end this thing. Did y'all like it? I hope so. :/
Don't forget to look up the image! Haha, and be excited! The new trailer for Thor comes out Wednesday! XD
So, if y'all have any ideas do not be afraid to tell me them. I could include them into my other fic, or start a complete new one.
Enjoy your summer guys!~
