Days passed slowly. She knew people were wary of her now, particularly her friends, treating her like they were walking around eggshells, after her erratic behavior of the past days, a behavior brought on by the Lauren Eames' case. She even noticed a new sorrow in Angela's eyes whenever she looked at her, like somehow her intuitive friend knew what had happened between her and Booth. She didn't even mind that those closest to her knew of her intimate pain, so exhausted and wary she felt.
What she had told Micah was true. She had felt something, but all that remained was unbearable sadness, a sadness that followed her even in sleep, a sadness that had put an end to any hope she might feel.
She hadn't need him to tell her that things were over between them, but as he had done that night in the Hoover and gambled for her, laying it all on the line, she had needed him to know she regretted saying no, with all of her heart. That is why she hadn't hidden her tears from him, her pain. She hoped he had read that it was not only regret, but that she had finally understood what love was all about: doing what was best for the other, even if it meant you were putting your pain and your own happiness on the line. She could only hope Hannah truly was what he wanted and expected her to be, and gave him everything she could no longer give him, what she wasn´t allowed to give him anymore.
She rubbed the middle of her breasts, and closed her eyes, willing her sternum to stop feeling so tight, but nothing she did had worked. She didn't even eat anymore, just a granola bar and energy drinks here and there to keep her functioning. She was glad she had never used her lab coat so tightly around her body, because she knew people would notice she was practically fading before their eyes. She was thankful for the coverage makeup provided, which hid the dark circles that formed under her eyes. She felt old, like she had aged 80 years overnight.
She couldn't stop remembering Booth's eyes as he literally crushed her heart with his words. Served her right for turning him down when she had the chance to grasp her future tightly in her hands. Rebecca's words of so many years ago came rushing back to her mind; she had proven that there was definitely a moment for every couple, where they could catch fire, but she had been too terrified of being burned by the intensity of her feelings for him. How she wished she could change everything back, but not even in her most selfish consideration could she deny that Hannah was worthy of him, and she wouldn't again crush his heart with her selfishness, like she had. She would deal with her punishment, day by day, until the pain stopped or she was gone, whatever came first.
She was typing on her laptop, writing down her latest finds from a limbo case. No cases since Lauren Eames. She was torn between feeling relieved Booth hadn't had a reason to pop by the lab, and also feeling destroyed because somehow she knew her chance to take her words back was an impossible, and how she wished she could, remembering how she had seen something akin to pain flash in his eyes, but it couldn't be. There was no reason why he had to feel pain because of her, when he had made it so clear Hannah was his entire world now, and when he had given her more than enough chances to amend her decision not to give them an opportunity to become more.
She paused for a moment, and rubbed her temples. She felt the beginning of a pounding headache coming in, something very common these days, she guessed due to the lack of real sustenance and rest. For once, she was glad that Angela had been so wrapped up in her new baby and building her life with Hodgins, she hadn't had the time to try and assume Booth's role in her life, because otherwise, she would have been dragged for meals and snacks, knowing how she immersed herself in her work, sometimes to the point of forgetting to survive.
She opened one of her cabinets, and took out a bottle, popping two pills in her hand and swallowing them with the bottle of water she always kept by her side now. No use in dying from dehydration. She leaned back, giving herself 5 minutes before she could restart her work. She refused to get sick and be deprived of the only thing she had left: her work. It had become her safe haven, her apartment was only for baths and changing clothes; whenever she was inside of it too long, she felt the weight of its walls crash down on her, assaulting her with memories of a past that could very well have been her present, but now a mockery of the future that would no longer be.
She had her eyes closed when she heard rapid footsteps, accompanied by a frantic, "Dr. Bones! Dr. Bones!", only one person could call her that, and she opened her eyes to be greeted by the sight of one Parker Booth entering her office at full speed.
She gave him the best smile she could muster, hoping the inquisitive 8-year old didn't notice how truly broken she was feeling, and she cheerily greeted him, "Hey Parker! What are you doing here?"
He beamed at her, and stood right before her, opening his arms in that way she had learned meant he wanted a hug, which she complied with happily. It seemed this little angel was the only person who continued to think of her, no matter what. She buried her face in his curls, and though irrational, she inhaled the scent that for her always meant innocence and complete love. Her heart clenched with a pang of longing, remembering what it was like to be that young, that carefree and untainted.
When they broke the hug, he replied, "I was in science club with Grandpa Max, but we're done now, and I wanted to visit you!", she smiled at him tenderly, brushing a curl that had fallen into his face, and said, "Well, I'm glad you did, you know I always love when you visit", she said, and then it struck her what he had called her dad.
She braced herself, and tried to word her question as best as she could, "Parker, it doesn't upset me, at all, in fact I thinks it´s endearing, but… when did you start calling my dad `Grandpa Max´?", she saw the flicker of disappointment in those brown eyes, before he shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know, I guess… A few months ago. When Dad and you were gone, he always treated me for ice-cream and sundaes, told me funny stories and taught me lots of things", she nodded encouragingly, seeing the trepidation in his eyes, "I realized that is exactly what my real grandpa, Grandpa John, my mom's daddy, does with me, so I started calling him that, and he told me he had always wanted a grandson, so it was a win-win?", he said hesitantly, "I wasn't supposed to tell. It's our secret", he dropped his eyes to the floor.
She tilted his chin with her hand, and made him stare into her eyes, unable to see him sadm "Parker, I'm not mad at you. As you said, it is something between you and my dad, but.. Ask your Dad first if he thinks it's ok… He might not like that, though I appreciate you care about Dad so much", she said, trying to make the youngster see some boundaries had to be set now that his father was with Hannah.
"Why shouldn't we? You're my family too", the heartfelt proclamation broke her heart, and made her eyes get moist at the sincerity behind his statement, and replied, "I know, Parker, I also see you as mi family, but your Dad is with Hannah now, and he might not be comfortable you calling my father that", Parker seemed to be pondering her words, and turned misty eyes on her.
"So now that my Dad has a new girlfriend, does that mean you don't want to be my friend anymore? The last we were all together everything was ok", she couldn't help but cradle him to her chest, and kissed his wild curls several times before she was able to swallow the lump that was lodged on her throat.
"No, Parker! Don't ever think that, ok? Of course I love being your friend, and your visits, but… maybe your Dad doesn't want me to be so close to you", he frowned, "He might think I'm taking the time you should spend with Hannah, and getting to know her", she explained rationally.
A fire came to his hazel eyes, "it doesn't matter to me, Dr. Bones. You were here first, and I don't care about her. You were my friend before I met her, and I won't leave you because of her. It's like… when I got a shiny new truck for Christmas, it was filled with all of these cool gadgets?", she nodded tenderly at him as she stroked his hair, "My mom told me I had to throw the old one away, because she figured now I wouldn't play with it anymore, but when I was about to do it, it felt like I was leaving him behind. He was with me ever since I was a baby, and I couldn't desert him like that. He had been my friend, so it was my duty to protect him. My mom said it was silly, because toys don't have feelings, but then I asked her to take the new one back to the store", her throat closed again. How could an 8-year old see so clearly what his father had so blatantly missed? How she had wished those words had come from the senior Booth.
"Thank you, Parker. It's nice to know I still have a place in your heart", she said sadly, but touched beyond belief by his tender words, and Parker brought his little hands to her face, and shook his head, "Don't be sad, Bones. I will protect you, forever", she hugged him for dear life, and he wrapped his tiny arms around her neck, inhaling in her hair very much like she had done earlier.
A voice startled them both, "I hope I'm not interrupting something I wasn't supposed to see", they turned to see Hannah perched on her doorstep. Her comment had come out to tease them, and she had a bright smile playing on her full lips.
"Of course not, Hannah. How are you?", Temperance said politely, receiving a gentle smile from Hannah. Luckily, the journalist wasn't jealous of her relationship with the younger Booth. And why should she, when Booth had so firmly reaffirmed her place in his life to everyone?, Temperance thought, relieved that the closeness between them didn't bother the woman that for all purposes, was now the center of Booth's life.
"I'm fine, thanks Temperance", she turned to Parker, "Your father sends his apologies, but he couldn't make it in time to pick you up, so guess what?", Brennan could see Parker trying to be cordial and even amicable, but she knew he felt like Hannah had stolen his father from him, and she couldn't blame him, since she felt exactly the same, "I get to take you home, but before, what do you say we go to that ice-cream parlor you love so much and we get you that sundae you were telling your father about last weekend? He promised he would meet us there", Hannah gave the boy a beaming smile, meant to encourage him, but instead he turned to Brennan, and used his best puppy dog eyes, he pleaded.
"Can't you come with us? Pretty please?", normally that smile and those eyes would have melted her every resolve, but she couldn't face Booth and Hannah together without surely breaking down in tears, so she shook her head, and brushed his cheek tenderly, plastering a smile on her face she prayed didn't look as fake as it felt,
"I would love to, but I have a gazillion files to put in order", his little face fell, "I'm sorry, Parker, but just like your Dad, I have many things to do that I can't postpone. Next time, ok?", his face brightened just a bit, and she added, "I'm certain you will have tons of fun with Hannah, and then with your Dad", she hoped she had convinced the little boy.
He chewed on his lower lip in thought, "But I don't want to leave you alone", he said pitifully, and it tugged at her heart. If he only knew… She shook her head, and did her best to hide her sadness, and lied the best way she knew how, "But I'm not alone. I have Angela and Jack, and Dr. Saroyan here with me. And you know we have fun working on our skeletons, right?", he smiled a bit, and nodded. She released a relieved sigh, and received the hug he gave her.
"Be good to Hannah, ok?", he nodded, and gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek before bouncing to take Hannah's hand, appeased and seemingly happy now that she had convinced it was ok for him to go. She was truly touched. She had seen that they had indeed bonded, and that his initial reluctance to accept her had disappeared, but that his loyalty prevented him from letting Hannah all the way in if he thought that was going to hurt her. Such wisdom from a little boy was healing in itself, as she recalled what Sweets had told her, that she had people who cared about her, who she mattered to.
She stood from her chair, and waved at him as he tilted his head to continue smiling at her. But she didn't know why, providence perhaps, she looked to the top of the railing, and when she saw a very familiar figure, her blood ran cold.
Cam was in her office, and Angela had already gone home, since it was almost 6p.m, the interns were in Limbo, and the platform was practically deserted.
She swallowed hard, her heart about to thump out of her chest, "Oh God, how did she get in here?", she begged for her not to have noticed the pair walking towards the door, but the evil glint in the woman's eyes told her that indeed, she had not only seen Hannah and Parker, but that she also knew who the little boy was.
"Dr. Brennan, I suggest you tell your friend to stop right where they are", she swallowed hard, but knew that if she didn't comply, the gun she was holding would be aimed at them, and no doubt she was willing to shoot, and definitely it would be to kill.
"Hannah, Parker, please stop where you are", she said, making them stop in their tracks, their faces filled with confusion as she did everything to keep her voice steady.
"What's wrong, Dr. Bones?", said Parker, his forehead scrunched in obvious confusion, but the tap of the heel of the woman's stilettos resounded through the vacant platform, making her wince, and everyone's eyes to turn to the woman.
"It's just… It's ok, Parker, you'll be ok", she said, seeing the woman take each step agonizingly slow, as if to taunt her with the way she was walking, to make her fear grow.
"Dr. Brennan, what a pleasure to see you!", the woman said, an evil smile on her lips, "I came here to greet you, and to tell you I always fulfill my promises. I told you this wasn't over, and here I am!", she said gleefully, making Brennan cringe.
She saw Hannah's confusion, but she could only shake her head to tell her to stay right here she was, and not release Parker.
"My, my, my, two for the price of one", the woman taunted, "What a treat. I didn't know my lucky stars were shining down on me, but it seems they are, though I should have assumed if word of my little visit hasn't still reached the FBI, or should I say, your FBI agent?"
"Booth is not mine", she replied automatically, making the woman laugh manically, "Dr. Brennan", she said, like she was speaking to a child, "He might have found that little…", she eyes Hannah from toe to head, rising an eyebrow, "Tramp, but I'm sure you continue to be first on his list, well, second after his little brat", Brennan swallowed.
"That's… not true. I… Booth doesn't care about me. He's… just my partner. Look, let them go, they have no fault at this, and I'll let you do whatever you want to me, but… please, let them go", Brennan pleaded, seeing the evil glint in the woman's eyes.
"Dr. Brennan, still so… forthcoming and valiant", her smile turned into a sneer, "I wonder what could hurt Agent Booth more?", she said, waving her gun in the air from Parker, who seemed to be frozen into place, the same as Hannah, whose face had paled with dread, "His son?", she aimed the gun at him, making him whimper and squeeze Hannah's hand tighter, "Or the partner he has loved for 7 years? Hmmmh… Difficult choice", she seemed to be pondering, aiming her gun at Parker and Hannah, then at her.
"We both know it's better if you… eliminate me. I'm the only person in the face of the Earth who can put you behind bars, and we both know it… If I'm gone, you can go free. But if you let me live… You know I will find you, and I will make sure you go back to jail, where you deserve", she was deliberately angering her so she aimed the gun at her.
She laughed for a few seconds, but afterwards, aimed at her, making her release a relieved sigh at having her attention focused on her and not on Parker, "You're right, only you are able to put me behind bars, but you know what?", she giggled manically, "This is not about me going back to jail, this is about pain, Dr. Brennan!", she screamed.
From there, everything seemed to be happening at small motion. Brennan only saw the woman shift her aim from her to Parker, not even minding Hannah by his side. Luckily, even if they were on opposite sides, they were still reasonably close, and for the first time in years, she prayed to God, to Booth's God, to make her limbs work as she ran like there was no tomorrow, screaming from the top of her lungs, "Parker! DUCK!", she heard the pop of the bullet being released, and in her mind, there was a chant, "protect him, protect him, save him, save him! You can't fail", she heard the hiss of the bullet and in a fraction of a second, she placed her back between the bullet's pathway and Parker's body, shielding him from harm, but unable to prevent her weight from falling on top of him as when she bent her body, she felt a sting on her neck, followed by something warm coating her skin.
Almost 2 seconds later, there was a second pop, and she felt the thud of a body, and her heart stopped, "My God, did she kill Hannah?", she said, and she raised her head a bit from her bent position, still shielding Parker's tiny body, which was shaking beneath her, and saw that Hannah was by one of the railings, her head on her knees, shielding her body, but seemingly ok.
She breathed a sigh of relief, and lowered her eyes, feeling the trembling bundle nestled under her frame, "Parker", she asked frantically, "Are you ok, bud?", the boy whimpered, but nodded, and his tiny arms went to grab her shirt.
Just then, she felt her head start to spin, and as the adrenaline quickly started to wear off, she realized that someone else had taken the second shot, but whom? She raised her eyes, and just as an avenging warrior, there was Booth, with his gun aimed towards the platform.
He's here. Parker and Hannah are ok. She breathed, and then felt the sting of something warm and sticky, a mind-numbing pain in her neck, and feeling her eyes start to lose focus, she quickly stood from Parker, straightened her body, and sat on her haunches.
She brought her hand to her neck, and felt it coat with something. She raised her hand to her eyes, and saw it drenched in blood, her blood. She could see Parker's terrified gaze as he stared at her, and she felt the world spinning, making her fall back.
"Dr. Bones!", Parker screamed as he saw her fall, terrified as he saw the steady trickle of blood coming from her neck, and her face paling to an unnatural color, lounging himself at her, crying hysterically.
He felt strong arms pull him back and he screamed, "NO! NO"", but when he turned to hit at whoever was tearing him away from his Bones, he met the pained brown eyes of his father, and his cries became harder and more frantic, throwing himself in his father's arms.
"DADDY!", he wailed, "Dr. Bones!", Booth nodded, and stared into his son's eyes after he quickly checked he was unharmed, "Go with Hannah, bud, now!", Parker saw the order and understood that it was now up to the grownups to solve things, and he would get in the way.
Hannah was still hiding, and he touched her knee, his eyes filled with tears as he said, "It's ok, Hannah. Bones saved us", Hannah raised her eyes to see past the boy, seeing her boyfriend leaning over the scientist's body.
Booth's face was drenched with tears as he kneeled before her, and he instantly took his jacket from his shoulders, and pressed where he could still see, despite the rapid flow of her blood, over her wound.
She winced, and opened her eyes, surprised to see his face, instead of Parker's. She had lost consciousness for a second, but feeling someone pressing painfully hard on her wound made her go back to the world.
His heart was pounding painfully as he saw the pool of blood forming beneath her, growing by the second, but when he heard her groan and saw her eyes fluttering, he encouraged her, "Come on, Bones. Open your beautiful eyes, please?", he pleaded, trying to keep his sobs in.
She did her best, only because it was still him, and with great effort, feeling like someone had attached weights to her eyelids, she opened her eyes to be met with his face, his brown eyes filled with pain, his face wet with tears, she tried to croak out, "Park…er?", he nodded, "He's ok, Bones. Not a scratch on him, you… you saved him".
"Han…?", she tried to ask, and he again nodded, "She…went to the other side, she's ok", his heart tug painfully at the realization that she could be meeting their maker in a few moments, and her only concern was his son, and the woman she knew he loved. What a fool he had been.
"Is she…?", she couldn't turn her head in the other direction to confirm what she knew: that Booth had finally put an end to the nightmare that had been Heather Taffet.
"She's gone. For good", she then gave him an angelic smile, and his body went still, because he saw something like a goodbye in her blue depths. He had seen enough friends in arms with that same light in their eyes, like their soul knew they needed to get the important things out before they ran out of time.
"Then…", she rasped out, "Everything's… ok", she coughed, and he yelled frantically, "Where is the help?", then he turned to her, and pleadingly said, "Don't speak, Bones. Help is on the way", he whispered, doing everything in him to remain strong, for them.
"It's better… like this", she whispered, feeling her heart start to beat more slowly with each breath, "Don't worry", she said at his agonized gaze, "Your son is safe… it's all that matters", his eyes leaked a continuous stream of tears, "I don't…", she inhaled deeply, making him gasp, "Matter. I'm happy… You… need him", she whispered.
He frantically said, "But I also need you, Bones. Please, fight, fight for your life!", he begged, and she gave him the saddest smile he had ever seen on her face, and replied, "Nothing… to fight… for now", she shuddered, "So… alone…", she whispered, and started shaking, "So… cold", she said, and fixing her eyes on him, hoping he read the love she would take to her grave with her, only for him, the only man she had ever loved, she smiled, and closed her eyes, her head falling to the side.
The only thing her mind registered was a scream of grief like nothing she had ever heard before, but darkness was stronger, and for once, she embraced it without a doubt. She knew there was a smile on her lips, because for once, the pain stopped.
I know the tomatoes are coming my way. This was too angsty, but musie screamed at me to put it here…