10 Ways to Annoy a Hermione-loving Draco Malfoy
Ask him whether it makes him mad that Ron Weasley has what he can't have, Hermione - and tell him there's a great place in Knockturn Alley that'll give you hair like his for free!
Say his teasing of Hermione is obviously a sign of sexual tension. It's the classic "Little boy pulls the girl's pigtails because he likes her" syndrome, isn't it?
Say the same about him and Harry!
Use Polyjuice Potion to turn into him, and then run round screaming "Harry! I know we promised to keep this a secret, but I still love you! I'll always love you!" Do this all day.
Do the same, but run round giving all the Muggle-Born Hufflepuff/Gryffindor/Ravenclaw girls flowers. A few of the boys, too, if it strikes your fancy.
Do the same, but strip naked and handcuff yourself to Snape's desk. (Not for the faint hearted)
At Christmas, bewitch a piece of mistletoe to float above him wherever he goes- and tell Romilda Vane and Pansy Parkinson.
Read Draco/Harry slash fanfiction to him. Incessantly. In front of everyone in the Slytherin common room.
Tell him you've always had a fondness for Harry/Ron/Draco slash- then show him the videos on YouTube.
Tell him Hermione will never want a ferret when she can have a weasel, weasel's have bigger equipment!