CYCLE OF RIN
By Lady JenDragon
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Got over it…moved on.
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Chapter Twelve
Acceptance
Inuyasha woke first the next morning to the permeating smell of a cooked meal. His nose twitched at the aromatic scents. Then his stomach urged him from his remaining slumber, beckoning him to satiate his hunger. It had been a while since his stomach woke him to eat. Obeying his hunger, Inuyasha got to his feet sleepily.
He pushed through the bamboo door, finding Rin at the fire ring across the road. The young woman stirred some soup in a large pot with a large wooden spatula with one hand, her eyes entranced by the bubbling noises. In her other hand was a half eaten roll, momentarily forgotten. Lost in thought, Rin had not noticed him as he emerged. Inuyasha gulped, remembering what Sango told all of them last night.
"Morning." He growled out lowly.
Inuyasha decided to ignore his thoughts and treat Rin like normal. He walked across the road to where Rin stood. A few years back, Rin just happened to set up her fire ring and pot one morning next to the water channel with the intention of cooking outside. That summer proved unbearably hot to remain indoors just to cook.
"Morning." Came the weak reply.
Rin turned towards the running irrigation channel away from Inuyasha, red faced. She regretted her emotional breakdown, still embarrassed and horrified. Sango spoke to everyone once she left her alone to sulk and cry, Rin figured. The group shared everything between them. Neither of them returned to the hut to sleep.
"Looks good." Inuyasha bent over the pot over the fire. "Smells even better."
"I'm sorry." Rin said meekly.
Her hands could not move, frozen with shame. Her body shook, riddled with immense guilt. She needed to clear the air between her friends and herself. Life with them seemed unbearable if she allowed this rift to keep them separated. These last seven years she came to trust and care for them and this village.
"For what?" Inuyasha's ears perked to attention.
"For…" Rin gulped. "For yesterday."
"Oh…you mean that." Inuyasha folded his arms, standing up straight. "I can hardly blame you for giving it a shot."
He set his amber eyes on the young woman. She never really looked at him when they talked once she came to live with them. Perhaps, Rin felt it too difficult to look at him since Inuyasha was Sesshomaru's younger brother. 'Too many reminders from back then?' Inuyasha wondered just how much Rin kept to herself regarding Sesshomaru. Kagome always told him to leave it alone. But, a part of him wanted Rin to spill all she knew about his brother.
"I should have…" Rin paused, her reasoning gone.
"What?" Inuyasha turned his sidelong, narrowing his eyes. "Used logic to figure out what was happening to you? Beating yourself up for 'losing control' of the situation? Sounds to me like you were just being a girl."
Rin jerked her head around, her eyes meeting his.
"Yeah, that's right, Rin." Inuyasha smiled then continued. "You acted like a real girl for the first time in your life since I've come to know you. It was only a matter of time. Seven years you've kept your inner feelings to yourself. Never sharing them with anyone. Never showing any emotion towards anyone unless it was guarded. Yeah…we noticed. Sesshomaru left you and now he's back. And you just broke down."
Rin blinked, astonished that Inuyasha so clearly outlined her situation. He was right. She had locked her feelings away once Sesshomaru abandoned her that day. She did not want anyone to know how confused she felt. How lost she felt the day Inuyasha's brother left. All this time, she believed she had forgiven Sesshomaru. It was all a lie!
"It's all his fault!" Rin blurted out angrily, regretting the words as soon as they left.
"Sesshomaru's?" Inuyasha queried, getting only a nod from Rin in response. "I can see that. So… what are you going to do about it?"
"About what?" Rin felt the stirring spoon in her hand get hot.
She frantically stirred the soup, using the distraction to get her emotions back in order. Inuyasha stepped in, taking the pot off the fire, placing it on the ground between them. It still amazed her that he did things with out thought to his own safety.
"Come on." Inuyasha smiled devilishly. "Sango's top demonslayer's going to let a demon get the best of her? Doesn't sound like the Rin I know."
"I'm a changed person, Inuyasha." Rin retorted.
Rin had not thought that far ahead. Revenge? Inuyasha believed that she should dish out some sort of payback. 'So did Sango.' Rin remembered nervously. 'Why does everyone think I should?'
"Despite what happened, meek isn't you anymore, Rin." Inuyasha shrugged then shook his head. "Your childhood is long gone, kiddo. That child from back then has been replaced by a strong young woman. One I've come to respect. Time to show Sesshomaru you aren't going to take this sitting down."
"What am I supposed to do exactly?" Rin asked suddenly angry that everyone expected her to take immediate action. "HE isn't someone you can just sneak up on and pull pranks."
"You know Sesshomaru better than anyone." Inuyasha responded. "You traveled with him for five years. So you don't know how right now. That'll change in the coming weeks. The answer will come eventually, Rin. If you couldn't die because you carry Sesshomaru's child, think what you can get away with? What's he going to do? Kill you?"
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Rin challenged.
'But Inuyasha has a point.' Rin decided this line of reasoning made sense…in its simplest form. An eye for an eye. Her emotions, already fragile enough, shook with uncertainty. Inuyasha's elder brother was an entirely different creature from this younger sibling trying to convince her otherwise. Inuyasha loved to pull his pranks on the unsuspecting. But all of those were harmless jokes and usually garnered laughs not death. His brother took things seriously.
"Damn right!" Inuyasha leaned towards her. "Any chance to get back at Sesshomaru is a chance I wouldn't miss out on. He's been trying to kill me for years, and nearly succeeded a few times. It's nice to see someone else has an advantage over him."
"I will NOT be your revenge, Inuyasha." Rin shook her head suddenly confused again.
"No, you'll be yours." Inuyasha smiled at her slyly, placing his hands on her shoulders. "You still won't say his name, even after all this time. Think of everything he's done to you. Let it simmer, let it come to a boil. Don't be afraid of its power and strength, Rin. Why? Sesshomaru will continue doing things the way he always has unless you make a stand for yourself. Show him what he's done to you won't be forgiven."
With that Inuyasha turned from her, crossing the road and pushing through the bamboo door into the hut. This left her alone to think. Rin blinked twice, unsure why Inuyasha's words sunk into her heart. He said a lot of important things. Many of which she agreed.
'How am I supposed to get revenge on a full-demon?" Rin asked herself.
A part of her heart felt too convoluted to think clearly. Without thinking, she began nibbling on the bread roll she held in her hand. She chewed slowly, her appetite growing more aggressive as she tried to ignore the groans of her stomach.
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The sun rose high over head, blanketing the landscape in bright light of the late spring morning. Sango sat beside Kagome on the boulder beside the gentle river. Both women seemed quiet and content to stay silent. Tension hung heavily in the air. Their main concern was Rin.
"It's strange. I never thought Rin would attempt such a…"
"You don't have to say it, Sango." Kagome sighed. "I know what you mean. It's not like Rin to let her feelings get the best of her. She's always been the most focused, the most concentrated one of us. But, we're not all infallible."
"Sesshomaru made her this way, I think." Sango put in. "Inuyasha thinks she'll be all right now that we can relax a bit."
"So she couldn't die?" Kagome wanted clarification.
"Appears so. She fell from the cliff, ignoring the first rule of demonslaying completely." Sango cringed at that. "Then some samurai came along and she asked them to rid her of the demon abomination inside her. That's why Inuyasha found those men dead around her. Then she tried ritual suicide to avoid the shame. All were pointless it seems."
"So Rin apologized to you too?" Kagome asked finally, breaking the silence.
"Yes." Sango nodded. "She told me everything. Rin seemed so intent that her life would not continue if she didn't ask me for forgiveness. I've never seen one person so riddled with guilt. It was a bit strange."
"Tell me about it." Kagome nodded. "She got me in the hot spring an hour ago. Practically ambushed me."
"She got me over a late breakfast with Miroku." Sango added. "Thank the gods he took all the kids for a long walk afterwards. My legs felt like jelly from shock. I feel bad just thinking about how meek and humble she sounded during the entire thing. Couldn't get a word in edge wise. Do you think Rin'll take Inuyasha up on his suggestion about getting back at Sesshomaru?"
"Let me remind you that a certain demonslayer also tried to put that thought into Rin's head last night." Kagome pointed out.
"Oh yeah." Sango smiled. "I guess I did tell her something along those lines. Well, it's really up to her. Should we push her?"
"Nah. Rin'll figure it out on her own." Kagome decided. "Last night, she finally showed emotion on a human level. Apparently, Sesshomaru meant something to her. And still does. She's taken a step in the right direction to openly admitting it to herself. Though it does make you wonder what she'll come up with. It she chooses that route."
"My best demonslayer is now pregnant by the demon who abandoned her, who just happens to be a reluctant relative." Sango shook her head. "I swear my father has rolled over in his grave."
Kagome cast Sango a sympathetic look.
"Her team took it pretty hard when I told them earlier." Sango continued. "But, they seem resolute to stay with her. Are we going to send them out again any time soon? Have you felt any shards recently?"
"No, many of the shards were dispersed over a much larger area than last time. The demons that now possess shards know we're looking for them. It's become more difficult to locate the demons without them fleeing days in advance. That aside, I think we should limit Rin's travel for the next couple months. Until we know how her pregnancy will affect her. She'll hate remaining idle."
"Now that's she's carrying, she'll need more rest. I agree, she'll need to stick around here until we know what kind of symptoms to expect." Sango frowned. "Did you see her at lunch?"
"Yeah, her appetite has increased a 100-fold." Kagome agreed with Sango. "There were no left-overs. Carrying demon children must require more food. Especially hard for a human."
Sango got to her feet.
"I'm going back. Miroku should be back with the kids by now."
Kagome agreed silently, getting to her feet beside her friend. They hopped off the boulder together and walked back towards the village.
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The taste of her did not satiate, he craved more from her innocent body that night. He used his lips to delve deeper, searching for Rin's inevitable surrender. He had needed it from her, required it from her. Her resistance beneath him fueled his need. And she gave in to him with a heated passion he had not expected nor experienced previously. He growled knowing he allowed his impatience to control his time with Rin. He found difficulty in forgetting how she felt in his hands.
Sesshomaru opened his eyes, the dark green and coolness of the forest welcoming him. Leaning against the tall tree, he turned his head to the left. Jaken slept nearby, the Staff of Two-Heads lay beside him. He turned his face to the sky, tormented by memories. The bright sun kissed the treetops as birds flew in groups over head.
'Rin demands too much time.'
Sesshomaru sighed. This was not true he knew. Any demands made were because he believed she wanted him to make time for her. Rin never asked him to return. In fact, she disappeared after he left to pay Koi a visit. He returned to the abandoned hut to ensure she did not fall victim to another demon.
'I have every right to hold you responsible! Your arrogance is so typical. Everything that has happened to me is because YOU abandoned me!'
Rin's words came back to haunt him. She held him responsible. He understood the fire in her dark eyes and the human anger. She had no right to hold him accountable. Everything that occurred to her was simply based on her own choices. Had nothing to do with him, he concluded. Still, Rin traveled around looking for him. An action he expected after she attained freedom that, he would later learn, seemed to be almost immediate following her initial capture.
Sesshomaru's amber eyes narrowed slightly, growling low.
'This Sesshomaru need NOT explain any action to ANY ONE.'
Sesshomaru got onto his feet once Jaken began to stir from his afternoon rest. Ah-Une would return shortly from their grazing. He cursed himself for allowing the mortal to become a constant reminder. His path had altered without his knowledge. Sesshomaru fisted his hand tightly as he vowed.
'Father, I will not follow in your footsteps!'
Author's Notes: There's plenty more comedy, action, violence and romance to come (yes, there is romance in this story – for those who missed its innuendo, story ain't over yet!).