CYCLE OF RIN
By Lady JenDragon
Disclaimer: You know the routine; I do NOT own the Inuyasha characters.
Author's Notes: I'm very busy these next couple of weeks so expect a longer wait between chapters. I hate to do it but it must be done. Also, a number of reviewers have asked me to allow anonymous reviewing. A little skeptical about what it is since I'm limited in my computer lingo. All I do is write stories with my computer. So, I'm going to allow anonymous reviewing for a limited time, about a month long period. If all goes well, I'll keep it open. If I get any spam, I'll shut it down.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Chapter Fourteen
Truth
Rin stirred from dreamless sleep feeling warm, even safe. Her arms wrapped the soft cushion beneath her head, snuggling it closer. The thick blanket over her kept the chill of the morning air off her skin. Warm and languid she felt, maybe even supple. She rolled over onto her back.
Suddenly, her eyes flung open, remembering her encounter with Inuyasha's brother last night. He found her in the hot springs and subsequently solved her growing bosom problem and then had his way with her. Again. Rin sat up quickly upon hearing the clang of metal on wood.
Koi, the old demon she met a month or so ago, sat at a makeshift table pouring a soupy breakfast into a bowl from a hot pot held with a thick rag. He stopped and stared at her wide-eyed, blinking occasionally.
"Oh, you're up finally." His voice strained in the chilly morning air.
"W…why are you here?" Rin rubbed the sleepiness from her eyes. "Who are you?"
Rin realized she was naked beneath the covers, clutching them to her tightly. Her face flushed deeply red. 'This is humiliating!' She thought wildly.
"Relax, I haven't seen anything." Koi watched as Rin's mouth gaped. "My name is Koi. You fell asleep under your kimono shirt. I merely covered you with the blanket I just happen to bring with me."
Truthfully, Koi did not think Sesshomaru would have thought that far ahead. Though noble by birth, the elder son of the Dog General lacked certain common sense where handling women went. Servants were used for that purpose to Sesshomaru. A demon should treat the woman carrying his child better than this. 'Idiot!'
"I see." Rin looked around for her clothes.
Damn! They were left by the hot springs last night. She squeezed her eyes closed, stuck under these covers unless someone happened upon her clothes and went looking for the owner. A remote chance at that! By now, her clothes were gone.
"Your clothes, whatever they are, are outside drying." Koi set the hot pot down on the table. "I found them by the door, washed."
He noted the expression of relief on the woman's face. Her cheeks had a red glow to them, her eyes sparkled in the morning light. A pregnant woman was a glossy picture to this old demon. Koi turned his attention to the meal he prepared for Rin. If the legend was true, she would be incredibly hungry.
"They were at the hot springs last I saw them." Rin put in.
Koi blinked, pausing in his stirring of the soup then over at Rin. That was not where he found the garment oddly. 'A demonslayer suit from the look of it.' He smiled wryly. Perhaps he underestimated the Dog Demon after all.
"Ah, Sesshomaru must've left them there for you."
"I doubt it." Rin disagreed.
"Think so?" Koi cocked a bushy eyebrow at Rin. "You think you know him so well?"
"I used to think I did." Her shoulders sank.
There were a number of things she used to know about him. But that all stopped when he left her that rainy night and never came back. Rin sighed, her eyes on the floor of the hut.
"Not anymore?" Koi urged.
"I grew up, Koi." Rin shrugged. "After he left all those years ago, it didn't really matter how much I knew him. He still left me. I never thought he would."
"Must've been a tough decision."
"Tough?" Rin frowned, her anger tapped. "For whom?"
"Sesshomaru, who else!" Koi rolled his eyes. "I guess he never told you why he left?"
"Obviously not."
"I take it you saw him last night?"
"You state the obvious." Rin's voice went cold considering she was sitting naked beneath a blanket talking to a demon. "If you knew what was afflicting me when we first met then you already know my current condition. Stop stalling. You don't seem the type to just drop by for visits."
"The coming months will be difficult for you…" Koi began but was cut off.
"You came all this way just to tell me pregnancy isn't easy?" Rin narrowed her eyes. "Pregnancy is never easy."
"Especially for you."
"Why, because I carry a demon's child?"
"Because you carry a demon."
"A full demon?" Rin remembered HIM mentioning something along those lines on their first night. "That's not possible. I can only give birth to a half-ling."
"Ah, normally yes. " Koi raised his index finger on his right hand. "However, when you were poisoned all those years, you miraculously survived. Mainly due to the nature of the demon that attacked you."
"It's been painful to survive." Rin felt trapped beneath the covers. "Are you saying that I have magical abilities now?"
"Close enough." Koi shook his head. "I believe you were poisoned by a fire dragon."
Rin's eyes widened. Sango mentioned them once before during her training. But they were myths, legends that stories where were created. The warriors of these stories always seemed strong and brave who managed to kill the beast in the end. But, they were just stories. And she believed them upon meeting Inuyasha's brother. Rin sighed again.
"I see you know about these legendary creatures. Rarely seen on land, they hunt for fresh meat upon birth. I believe you met a newly hatched fire dragon that night seven years ago. How you survived is not known but the toxicity of its blood should have killed anyone within a mile. It was absorbed into your body instead."
Rin shook her head.
"It caused the 'Cycle' to happen?"
"Yes." Koi smiled. "By some miracle, your body had just begun to change shape from child to woman. The reason I believe Sesshomaru ended your companionship with him. To allow such turmoil of rich scents and raging hormones would be difficult to resist even to a strong demon such as he."
"You mean…he would…"
"No. Sesshomaru would never give in to such basic lust." Koi tilted his head to one side. "That would be following the path his father took over two hundred years ago."
"His father took a human to lie with him?" Rin's eyes widened.
"Inuyasha's mother."
She heard stories about Inuyasha and his brother back when she traveled with HIM and Jaken. There was a time when they battled an old enemy of their father's, a man by the name of Takemaru. But Rin did not know details of why this dead man hated them and their father. Jaken dismissed her questions as easily as HE did. Made sense now. HIS proven disgust for humans showed her that HE would never have allowed such…a thing to happen consciously.
"I see." Rin did not understand much of Inuyasha's history either. "Do go on."
"The Great Dog General married a human much to the clan's disgust. The General was lost because of his love for her. He died in battle to protect her and the newly born Inuyasha. Sesshomaru never forgave his father for this atrocity to the clan."
"And now I've come along with this curse." Rin left the rest of her thoughts unsaid.
Her 'Cycle' called every demon to her. She remembered everything now. HE could not resist the temptation or the advantage other humans did not offer. If she gave birth to a demon child, he would not have to worry about diluting the lineage by marrying another demon. Rin shook the depressing thought from her mind.
"He sees nothing more than how close he's following in the footsteps of his fallen father."
"But, it's not the same thing." Rin dropped her shoulders again while sighing. "I'm nothing more than an advantage to him. He's not in love with me either, so it doesn't even come close to being similar."
"You catch on quick." Koi nodded. "However, Sesshomaru doesn't see it any other way. The fact that you are human is enough."
"You tell me this as if I'm supposed to do something about it." Rin glared at Koi.
"Change his mind." Koi shrugged easily.
"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" Rin shifted her eyes to the floor. "Like I'm supposed to know how?"
"You are the demon bearer." Koi smiled. "You've been given an advantage most other demon bearers have not."
"And what's that?"
"Power."
"Power of what?"
"Of a demon, what else!" Koi leaned back in his chair. "A demon bearer cannot give birth to children she cannot handle. Your ability to use sutras and perform seals comes from the demon magic in your blood. Has nothing to do with any spiritual powers you may have possessed before hand."
"How did you know about my sutras?"
"Sesshomaru described them to me." Koi shook his head. "You used them on him."
"Oh, right." Rin did not want to think about that day. "Continue."
"I believe you figured out the pregnancy has side effects." Koi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I take it Sesshomaru visited you last night to drain the demon nectar?"
"Y…yes." Rin felt her face flush.
"Nothing to be ashamed of." Koi lifted his chin up. "It's only natural. As I was saying, you hold Sesshomaru in the palm of your hand. He's drawn to you because you carry his child, you produce demon nectar and you require his continued…attention."
"S…sex?" Rin felt offended. "He's mad at me because I require that?"
Like she wanted HIM! Her life had been pleasant, save for the Cycle when it came, most of the time. She had friends and people she considered family. They enjoyed her company and often looked to her for help and guidance. Until HE re-entered her life. And now HE hated her for requiring his attention. If only she could turn it off!
'Great, even magic uses me,' Rin thought angrily then took a deep breath. 'Calm, remain calm.'
"To keep the child his, he must reclaim you every so often." Koi could tell Rin was trying to maintain a logical mind. "But that's not why I'm here. Within the first three months, any demon can try to take you from him. That is…claim you for themselves. Only the strongest will confront him. If they're smart, they'll wait until the week before the end of the third month."
Rin's eyebrow lifted slightly alarmed at this new information. Claim? By another? Demon? She shook her head again, taking another deep breath to maintain control of her building fear. The thoughts in her head made her want to panic. A question popped into mind.
"And after the first three months are up?"
"The child's father becomes permanent. You have magic in your blood that allows this to happen. The next couple of months will see you confronted by demons wanting to take you from Sesshomaru. You will only be swayed by those demons you consider stronger."
"This has happened before?" Rin bit her bottom lip.
"Only to half-demons."
"Never a human?" Rin got only a nod in response, her brow furrowed in anxiety. "Great."
This was a lot to take in. First having HIM take her while she remained ignorant of her condition. Then to find out other demons might take her away from HIM, anger and fear rose together within, threatening to overwhelm logic. The thought of another demon taking her to bed made her body shiver coldly.
"You seem lost."
Still, she thought, there was that one thing Koi mentioned before.
"I am." Rin eyed Koi. "This power you mentioned. How do I get it?"
"You already have it." Koi stood up. "All you must do is decide what you want and figure out how much power you have. It will take some time to learn all of your abilities."
"Will you help me?" Rin chewed her lower lip thinking.
"I'll do whatever I can."
"But?" Rin knew there was a catch, veering her eyes to the window.
Koi knew the woman held back. Her eyes sparkled at the sound of Sesshomaru's name yet she consciously never said it herself. If she wanted to utilize her full potential, she needed to face her emotions. Demons were not bothered by self-doubt and guilt like humans. Demons knew what they wanted and worked to get it. Rin needed to know herself to claim and use that kind of power. He squeezed his hand into a fist before beginning.
"You remember his touch don't you?"
Rin jerked her head up to look at Koi quizzically. Her skin hummed at the verbal reminder. She squirmed, pushing all thoughts of HIM from her mind. It was no good. Not that she would matter after the child was born anyway.
"What?" She shook her head defiantly. "No."
Koi folded his hands. Her answer came too fast. Rin was denying her own feelings towards Sesshomaru, the first obstacle to exploring the power given to her. As a woman, hate would not be a useful tool.
"Lying isn't going to help you. You wanted him the night of the Hunter's Moon six weeks ago. And you gave yourself to Sesshomaru then just as you did last night."
Rin's mouth hung gaped open, her eyes sparkling with rage. Her ears nearly burst from the anger, shock and confusion toiling within her. Her hands clutched the blanket as if it would save her from this new interrogation. Both hands slid over her face, trying to keep memories of HIM from entering.
"Ar…are you crazy?" Rin shook her head defiantly. "NO!"
"The passion you shared both times were identical, wasn't it?" Koi pushed onward. "Just sex, no love, pure lust with no emotional attachment. Both times you lay with him. It felt the same. It was the same."
Rin covered her ears, squeezing her eyes closed. She did not want to remember. HIS face appeared, the amber eyes burning into her as he looked down upon her naked form. He lowered his lips to hers but never allowed them to touch. Rin begged him to stop but her pleas went unheeded. Shaking her head, Rin could not dismiss HIM as easily as before. Flashes of their passion appeared like pictures on fast forward, overwhelming her mind.
Koi watched Rin battle it out internally.
"You wanted him…regardless of what he'd done to you." Koi added. "You hated that you wanted him."
"STOP! I can…I can't…remember." Words were lost, her face buried in her hands.
Rin realized Koi was right as her tears fell. Memories refused to be forgotten. Their passion was the same, the heated lust they thought they needed was identical. Both times and she had not noticed until Koi pointed it out. 'How could that be?' Their passion changed last night when HE willingly kissed her. Had HE meant that to happen?
"Quite denying your feelings, Rin." Koi walked towards Rin. "What do you want? You must know your own heart if you want to possess the power of a demon. Even in the deepest, darkest corners of your soul. Nothing can stand in your way. So I ask you again, Rin. What is it that you want?"
"I don't know what I want!" Rin turned from Koi, throwing herself to the mattress.
More tears streaked down her face, her eyes closed. Pressing her face into the cushion, Rin felt her body heave with each sob.
"Yes you do. You chose Sesshomaru over every other demon despite his abandonment. The Cycle just did what you wanted it to do. Lure Sesshomaru to you. You gave yourself to him voluntarily, of your own free will that first time. Just as you did last night. You want him, don't you Rin? Not to recognize you, acknowledge you but to love you?"
Want? 'Sesshomaru.'
Rin spoke his name in her mind consciously for the first time. That demon who saved her as a child, somehow keeping her from the under world, was there when she opened her eyes after the wolves. The way he stood over her with the reserved attention of a man who knew everything. Carefully avoiding her countless questions. Flashes of their five-year journey reminded her of why she could not completely hate him. Nor could she bring herself to dismiss his importance completely. The memories made her feel warm all over. Her eyes widened.
She never lost the love she felt for…Sesshomaru as a child. Her heart beat hard in her chest at the revelation.
That small, remaining string of love found its way through those seven years of being lost. It saved her from falling into the pit of helplessness, guiding her through every trial and tribulation that came her way. That little string of her love gave her the strength to face every morning with determination, the reason she got up at all sometimes. And she never recognized it before.
Rin lay quiet under the covers for several minutes. Koi wanted to pat her on the shoulder in comfort. It was best to allow the human to figure out her own feelings. She did not need any soothing words.
"Yes." Rin whispered her answer to Koi's question. 'I want…Sesshomaru.'
Koi smiled.
xxxxxxxxxx
The last tree fell, crashing to the ground in a flurry of breaking branches, creaking trunks, and a cloud of leaves. Ten trees in all were felled this morning. Sesshomaru stood, freshly returned to the neatness of his white silk kimono with red shoulder and cuffs, armor and swords tied by the blue-yellow sash with the white boa around his right shoulder. His arm, bent at the elbow, contracted as the anger within him refused to diminish.
'Damn her!' Why did the woman not go away when he requested? Their last kiss flashed in his mind. And the way she responded to the tenderness. Anger boiled again that he allowed such thoughts to taint his reserve. He unleashed his double whip, cutting a tree in half a hundred meters away. Why did Rin become so annoying?
His attention diverted the figure in red standing on a thick branch of the tree beside him. Sesshomaru turned to face his visitor fully. Another blemish he intended to rid his clan of shortly.
"Well, well." Inuyasha smiled widely, his arms folded. "Seems like big brother's having a bad day."
"Have you come to gloat little brother?" Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes dangerously.
The last person he wanted to see was his half-breed brother. The taint had the gall to look happy this morning. He would not bother with this now. There were other matters to attend to today.
"Nah. Since Rin didn't come home last night, I just wanted to see for myself if you were still around." He jumped down from the tree. "Left her all alone like last time too?"
Sesshomaru flexed his fingers.
"Watch what you…"
Inuyasha placed his hand on Tetsusaiga's hilt.
"Bring it on!" Inuyasha glanced down at Sesshomaru's kimono. "I've been waiting years to see you fall to your knees."
"This Sesshomaru does not fall!" Sesshomaru placed his hand on Tokijin.
"Then why so angry?" Inuyasha never remembered seeing Sesshomaru so riled up. "Did Rin leave you this morning instead? Guess I should go find her since you keep abandoning her."
"ENOUGH!"
Sesshomaru launched an attack so fast, Inuyasha just missed being sliced in two.
"So, Rin does mean something to you after all!" Inuyasha appeared behind Sesshomaru, a sly smile on his lips. "Guess you wouldn't like people knowing, eh? Would spoil that reputation you have and all."
"I don't expect one of your low breeding to understa…"
"Oh stop with the crap!" Inuyasha noted the twitch in Sesshomaru's eyes. "You claim I'm ignorant yet you do the same damn thing! Hiding behind that aristocratic fasod you've created to hide your feelings. Hate to break it to you, nothing stays secret forever. Doesn't matter who you are or what you are."
"You know nothing, Inuyasha."
"Sure about that?" Inuyasha hoped for a fight but that did not seem nearly as important as prodding his brother. "I can see your night with Rin has created a lot of uncertainty, older brother. Wanna talk about it?"
Sesshomaru remained quiet.
Inuyasha cursed himself for going so low, as he would shortly. But he had to know just how important Rin was to his brother. Only one way to do that seemed open to him at the moment. It would hurt him more than Sesshomaru, and Rin for that matter. If his brother reacted as expected, Sesshomaru might be more human than he let on.
"So…was she any good?" He tried to sound lazily interested.
Sesshomaru turned to face his brother, Tokijin unsheathed. His eyes flared crimson, the purple stripes on his cheeks jagged. 'That would not go unpunished!' He leapt towards Inuyasha, engulfed in rage he had never known.
"Insufferable half-breed!"
Inuyasha dodged the Tokijin, silently rejoicing in his victory, pulling Tetsusaiga from its sheath. The thin battered blade suddenly vanished, replaced by a wide gleaming blade. He could not believe it! Sesshomaru attacked him…blindly. His brother took deep offense at his question. The result was better than he expected.
They danced around the field, exchanging blows and dodged attacks. Inuyasha landed on the ground nearly out of breath, Sesshomaru not far behind seemingly confident in his near victory. His brother aimed his sword at key body parts. Ones Kagome would miss surely. Inuyasha leapt and spun in mid-air, landing thirty feet from Sesshomaru.
"So, Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha yelled out. "These feelings for Rin! Would you call it 'love' or just 'like'?"
Sesshomaru leaned forward to go after his brother, freezing in mid-step at Inuyasha's question. His anger disappeared. 'Inuyasha baited me using Rin?' Ignorant bastard! But worse, this Sesshomaru fell for it. There would be no mistaking his actions in front of his brother. He just confirmed what Inuyasha wanted to know.
"See you!" Inuyasha bounced off into the forest with a wide smile.
His amber eyes watched the streak of red disappear. Sesshomaru sheathed Tokijin white knuckled, his hand remaining on the hilt. He turned towards the east behind him, suddenly dropping his hand beside him.
What did Rin mean to him. Automatically, his fingers touched his lips, remembering last night. The latter part anyway. Consciously, Sesshomaru glanced at his hand, putting it down. Such unusual behavior for him, he noted. He tensed as the thought passed. His eyes lifted to the horizon.
For the first time, he had no answers regarding Rin.