"This is a bad idea." I whisper in his ear, and in response he sends me a grin that makes my heart stop beating.
"I know. That's what makes it such a great one." I can smell the whiskey on his breath, and I'm sure mine has the same odor. This doesn't seem to bother him, though, for he pulls me in and kisses me just the same. His lips are so soft and warm that I groan into his mouth, causing him to pull me in closer. My hands on his chest, teasingly pulling at the buttons of his shirt. Mine is tossed on the floor somewhere, long gone, along with the rest of my clothes. I toss his shirt aside and begin to work on his pants. Soon, we both lie naked on the bed, moaning. The next morning, I woke up and found him gone. I never got his name.
I stare at the journals and scrapbooks in front of me, the bits and pieces of my life with Ash, my life as a mother. I pull the first one on my lap, a pregnancy scrapbook. The first entry is dated May Fifth, the day I found out I was pregnant. A letter to Ash is scrawled out.
Dear Baby,
It's incredible how one little plus changes everything. I just found out I'm pregnant with you. I cannot begin to describe how I'm feeling right now. I'm scared, for one. I'm only eighteen, still in high school. What am I going to do, little baby? Abortion is out of the question. I can already tell that your going to be incredible, and I won't deny you that chance. I can't put you up for adoption, either. I'm already in love with you, sunshine. And I don't really believe in love. But I already know that I'm never going to let you out of my sight, and you'll be the other half of my heart. I guess I should tell you now that its just going to be you and me, angel. I never got your fathers name. But he was the most charming, sweet, funny, handsome man I've ever met. If you're anything like him, you'll go far in life, I can promise you that. I wonder if you'll look like him? I cannot wait to find out, baby girl. Well, you might be a boy. But I can't help but feel like your a little girl. Call it Mother's Intuition.
Dang it, Mom! I need to tell her. I guess I should refer to her as "Grandma", since that's what you'll be calling her. She's awesome, sunshine. You'll love her, even though she tends to talk a lot. She's like your father in that way, I suppose. Your father... He sure could talk. About the most interesting things, though. He's a scientist, you know. Like me. After I graduate, I'm going to work as a CSI at LAPD. I'm going to get the bad guys off the street, just for you, baby girl.
Mommy
Long time no post, huh? *hides head in shame* I know, I'm a terrible person. Ash has been in my head for the past two weeks, and its getting quite annoying, so I posted the crappy chapter I wrote a while back.