I'd like to give a special thanks to my dear friend Wolfy-chan aka "thedrunkenwerewolf" who is another writer here in FFnet. She took her time to beta this chapter. She gave me some tips on writing out Gin's dialogue. Please check out her works, especially if you're a fan of Gin and Aizen. Of my favorites among her work is: "The Heir of Las Noches".
Shizha, I thank you for writing such a wonderful review. It cheered me up tremendously, you have no idea… I want to apologize to you and all my readers for the long delay. A lot has happened since the last update. Okay, so here you go… I hand you chapter 13 in a silver platter…
Please enjoy and read at your leisure... ^_^
-Zerolr-
Chapter 13 – In Love with the Impossible
Stark yawned, "I'm going to bed," he announced stretching. Gin walked in with Rukia in his arms causing attention to be directed towards him.
"W-wha? She just ran out and then…" Nnorita began feeling puzzled, "Aw fuck it!" he stood, "So now you're back, when are we going to do it?"
Gin swung around and with his back to the kitchen facing the long table, "We'll talk later," he hummed before entering.
"I have a funny feeling," Halibel whispered, "That something had happened."
"Well it better not be for the worst…" Ulquiorra replied dryly.
Once inside the kitchen, he placed her on the ground.
"Did ya eat?"
"A little—oh! I made egg rolls! You must try it. You never tasted my cooking." She looked about and found that they have eaten all of the said egg rolls. She thought about walking out and seeing if there was something on the table, but she hesitated not wanting them to stare.
"Alrigh', how bout ya make me somethin' from scratch then?"
Kira walked in. Exhausted, he dropped the bags next to Gin. He turned and walked off.
"Umm… okay," she pulled the sleeves of her yukata with an apron and her hands reached for the bag. Gin's long fingers wrapped around her wrist.
"Nah, that's fer lunch." He cooed. She was aware of how close he stood, of how tall he was, and how cold his hand felt. He knelt down pulling the second bag, "I got'cha somethin'."
"Really?"
"Mmm," he replied with a nod. Deep within the bag he pulled out the Chappi plush. Pure white and soft to touch.
"Oh thank you!" She squealed practically snatching the toy. Her arms embraced it tightly, her cheek rubbing on the bunny's face, "She's so cute, oh God, I love it!"
Gin softly smiled as he looked over her. Watching her he realized how much he wanted to keep her smiling. How beautiful that smile was, that smile and the lips that formed it.
After a moment of spazzing, she looked at him. And saw how peaceful he looked. Locks of silver that fell over in bangs over the clever well-hidden eyes. He was beautiful. Sickeningly beautiful.
Was he even human?
No, maybe he truly was what he looked like—a yokai fox in human guise.
She flew into his arms, surprising him slightly. He slowly wrapped his arms around her in response.
"Thank you, thank you so much," Her arms went around his neck as she looked over his shoulder avoiding his stare, "I love it… I love… love you," he felt the tiny fingers dig into the shirt it wrapped around so tightly.
It was a strange silence and her heart hung on a string dangling in mid-air. Silence. She felt the strong arms hold her tighter, slightly tighter still. His left hand glided over entering into the silken locks of raven black hair, nuzzling his head gently with hers.
She felt relief wash over her. He isn't upset or mad but… what's going through his head? What is he thinking?
"Stay with me, Rukia-chan…" he whispered as if forbidden, "That's all I can say, cuz I don' think I could tell ya anythin' beyond that…"
What does he mean by that?
"What makes you think I want to leave you?" she replied, "I don't want you to leave me, or to fool me… please."
The embrace tightened around her, one last time before the arms slipped off. The signals were so mixed so unclear. As he stood, she stared into his face. He wore the usual smile. He reached out his hand and she extended hers to clutch it. She was pulled to her feet and she returned his smile with her own.
"Okay!" she whirled around trying to sound like her usual self, but it was hard. Even the voice that came out of her throat sounded foreign to her ears.
"Do you want me to help you?" he asked in attempt to lighten the heavy atmosphere.
"Ah, no. I want to do it by myself. You can watch me if you like." She started towards the counter and started to look about again.
"Ya might wanna wash these," he pointed out to the dirty pots.
"Oh, yeah," she walked towards the sink but he reached there first.
"Lemme," he whispered. He patted her softly and she felt the cold hand ruffle through her hair and descend slowly down the temple, finally cupping her face for a moment contemplating, "Yer so cute, Rukia-chan… can't believe you'd fall in love with someone like me…" the hand slipped away and the tone of voice mingled with remorse.
Guilt? She thought. No, just don't think anymore. You'll just drive yourself crazy.
Third minutes later, she made sweet beans to top on white rice. A side dish that consisted of salmon that Halibel and Stark bought yesterday, seasoned and cooked to absorb the flavor. She washed her hands as she saw Gin pick up the bowl and take in the rich smell of the fish. Taking up the chopsticks he playfully poked at it.
"Don't look like he's gonna wake up," he joked.
"Of course not!" she huffed.
He chuckled, "Are ya gonna care for me if I get sick?"
"The food is fine! You saw me cook it." She cried, she couldn't help but smile in spite of herself… it was kind of like old times back at her apartment, "Just try it," she said with a laugh.
"Can't do it when yer starin' a me like that."
"Will you eat it if I look away?"
"No."
"Huh?"
"Only if ya try it," he scooped a small batch of rice with the sticks, "Pretty please?"
She muffled a laugh, "Fine seriously—You're always acting like this." She walked up and opened her mouth as he fed her.
"Is it good? He asked with a hint of play in his voice.
"Try it yourself," she countered.
"Did ya swallow it yet?"
Her face when up a couple notches of red.
No way! Is that why he?!
She felt his fingers rest under her chin as he pulled her closer.
"Cuz, I wonderin' how it'd taste on yer tongue," He purred in that low drawl.
She slowly closed her eyes as he leaned towards her. Inches away from her lips, the door opened and Kira walked in. Gin didn't pay him any heed, but Rukia pushed him away embarrassed and flushed redder than before.
"Oh! I-I'm so so—,"
"Yer not sorry," Gin spat venomously.
"What happened, Kira-san?" Rukia asked looking like a startled bird.
"No, it's just I need to—but I saw that both of you were—well—,"
The white cat, Courora, had slipped in when Kira opened the door attracted by the scent of fish. However, she made her way to the Chappi and biting it by one of its long ears, the cat ran off with it.
"Hey come back here!" Rukia cried viciously, "That's not food—come back!" she dashed out the door in hot pursuit.
"Why are you so upset?" Kira began.
Ichimaru turned and began to eat his meal.
"Is it because you missed your chance to mess with her… or because you really want it? Needed it?"
"Kira, I got chopsticks in my hand," he clicked them rather tactfully, "Chopsticks…"
Kira swallowed, he knew that Gin didn't like to be pushed in a corner with questions. Gin hated questioning. It was what he despised the most. To be poked at. But regardless, that didn't stop Kira from asking.
"You…love her right?"
"And what? You'll think it'll change our plans?"
"So you admit it?"
"What I want, what I need…two different things, Kira." He paused to eat, pouring himself a cup of water as well.
"Which one is it?"
"What I need, that must be above everything. Without need, ya die. Need to live. Need to need. Without it, nuthin."
"Need her?"
"I want," he smiled sadly, "I want so bad…"
"Then kill me."
Gin carefully stared at him. He usually never talked back like this. Did Rukia and Kira plan something? Become buddies or something? But then again, Kira was an empathizer; he has a strange habit of transferring his entire soul and existence into people he rarely even knew. And he was pretty damn good at it, too.
"You don't need me," he said flatly, "You want me. You needed me before, but not anymore."
"Listen, Kira—,"
"You can't live with need. No one can. We're humans… we're not machines. We have a heart, we feel. All humans feel, even the ones that kill for a living. Even the ones that are so called heartless. To have a want is a need, Ichimaru."
"…"
"Honestly tell me, what you're planning to do with her after all this is over… after what she said to you."
"Ease-dropping."
"Yes."
"That's why I said tha' ya aint sorry."
"I've watched many horrible things, witnessed a lot of gruesome things, but I can't watch you play with someone's feelings. The feelings of a person in love. I won't let you kiss her, fool her. It hurts too much to watch. To keep quiet."
Gin carefully placed the empty bowl on the table allowing the room to be filled with silence.
"I don't know…"
"?"
Gin turned and faced the kitchen counter his back facing Kira, "I don' wanna make tha' same mistake…" His mind flashed with the image of Matsumoto's death, "She could be lyin' ta me…. It could be a lie."
Kira's gaze met the wooden floor, "I have a feeling that she's different."
"What would you do?"
"Eh? Um... I'd return her feelings with mine. I'd be honest with her. Tell her everything."
"The truth?"
"... yes."
"I told Matsumoto the truth."
"What happened?"
"I killed her."
"..."
"Sayin 'I love you' ain't enough. It ain't enough to make her forget who I am, what I do. I can't keep her promise. But—,"
A tear rolled down down from one eye. His voice never wavered. It never changed. There were no signs of a breakdown. None at all. Seemingly out of no where, a tear rolled down one eye.
"—I want ta. I want ta. I kinda wish... that my heart would stop fillin' my 'ead wit' all a these..." The silent stream trickled down his cheeks, "Stupid dreams..."
"So, you love her?"
"YES! I love her! Are ya happy now? Get out now before I do somthin' I'll regret..."
"I'm sorry..." Kira turned and walked out.
Gin reached in the drawer for a knife, "Yer not sorry," he hissed. The door closed; the thrown knife stabbed at the door frame.
"Here kitty-kitty..." cooed Rukia as she walked down the long hall, "Kitty... where are you?" After pacing a bit she gave up and crossed her arms, "Dammit! At this rate it'll be all torn up... If she ruins it I'll tear that stupid cat limb-from-limb."
"Oooh, allow me."
Rukia looked back startled to hear a voice. Nnorita stood looking like a skyscraper in comparison to the petite woman.
"H-have you seen it?" she asked not sure if she'll receive an insult as a response.
"Grim is at the courtyard, your chances at finding that thing is impossible... you have to ask the dumbass."
"Thank you," Rukia replied politely before running off.
"You wanted to ask her, didn't you?" Stark stretched as he walked up to him.
"Yeah, what do you think?"
"I wouldn't go as far to say that she sleeps around, but maybe only as his lover... but even so, I doubt that the little lady is that type of person. Truth to say, that she's receiving far better treatment than any hostage that I've ever seen..."
"Che, she seems too close to just be some hostage. I don't trust her. It's chicks like that, make me wanna cut'em in half."
"Cut them in half..." Stark sighed as Nnorita walked away, "How troublesome..."
Rukia entered the shrine courtyard. It was a located at the center of the building surrounded by four inner walls. There was a single oak tree in the center. Grimmjow leaned against it, his arms crossed and the cat at his feet. The plush was there, free from tear, but covered in dirt from all the dragging it went through.
"You!" she shouted with so much emphasis.
"About time you came," he spat in return.
"Give me back my—,"
He grabbed her by the collar lifting her feet off the ground.
"Listen you. You fuckin kicked me in the jaw, you think that's funny?!"
Her hands grasped the wrist of the hand that held her trying hard not to complain.
"I can fuck you up so bad, you won't be able to tell your hands and feet apart!"
He threw her sending her face first on the grassy earth.
"Get up!" he roared.
"So... you get a kick out of pushing girls around, eh?" A dark smirk curled at the edge of her lips as she raised her head. A swift kick to her stomach sent her rolling. She gagged as she turned over towards the side clutching her stomach as she gasped for air.
"You're only talking big cuz that stupid fox came back!" He placed his foot on her shoulder to roll her over in his direction, "Well, he ain't gonna save ya, babe."
"I ... don't need saving," she gasped as the air was returning.
He threw back his head and laughed. A sick grin spread across his face. Leaning down to her face, he scoffed, "You can't even fend for yourself, bitch."
"Give me a blade, and I'll tell you another story."
"Is that a challenge?"
"It's a duel."
"AHAHAHA HA HA HA!!!!!"
"I mean it,"
"Heh! I'll make you eat those words."
"Grimmjow."
The cerulean eyes snapped back at the entrance, spotting Halibel with her arms crossed.
"A meeting, let's go."
"There's some spare blades at the largest room here. Wait for me there. If I don't see ya—I'ma hunt your ass down, you hear me?!"
Rukia stared at him. Her violet eyes steady. Inside she quietly steamed.
"Grimmjow."
"I'm comin' sheesh!"
He approached her and together they walked out. Halibel gazed at him out of a corner of her eye.
"What?" he growled.
"You could get into a lot of trouble because of what you did."
"You ratting on me?"
"I don't stoop down to that level. Besides, it's none of my business."
"Feh."
"But I'll tell you one thing."
Grimmjow scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"Don't underestimate a woman's potential."
"You just say that cuz you're a girl..."
Gin Ichimaru stood in a room with a small table at the center. Chairs were placed all around, the lighting was a simple gas lantern. Kira stood against the wall, silent keeping much to himself. Ulquiorra was also present sitting in one of the chairs. He wore a dark green kosode, the sable hair damp coming fresh out of the hot spring found in the back of the shrine house.
"You still haven't answered my question," the stoic man began once more, "Have you had contact with Aizen?" The large emerald eyes stared coldly in Gin's direction.
"Wait till everyone's here kay? I ain't gonna repeat myself," was the reply.
Nnorita waltzed in, ignoring the chairs he chose to stand, "I'm dyin to get this shit over with! All this waiting is pissing me off."
Stark walked in silently and sat down, "I hope what you're about to say doesn't contain any bad news," he began.
"Well, tha' depends on how ya take it."
"I don't like the sound of that," Stark mumbled.
"..." Ulquiorra closed his eyes.
Gin leaned against the wall fiddling with a pencil. His eyes, fingers focused on such a minuscule, insignificant object.
Grimmjow and Halibel walked in last. She sat next to Stark who had a frown squiggled across his face. Grim snatched a chair and whirled it around, sitting with his legs apart and his arms resting on the back rest of the chair.
A small moment of silence filled the room.
"Okay," the silver-haired man placed both hands flat on the table, "Here's what I got," The eyes opened slightly matching the serious tone in his voice.
Rukia walked about until she finally found it. The largest room in the shrine. The building had three floors, and on the second floor, she had found it. It was large indeed with windows windows that filtered in the sunlight. It was a dojo. On the wall at her right were racks that held different swords, one of them being a huge spear-like weapon.
Looking through a closet, she found a spare katana. It was ill-maintained but it looked very sturdy. She scavenged some more and found a cleaning kit. With cotton balls and a pair of tongs, she did her best to clean it.
Anything with a katana, kendo, samurai, and Bushido reminds me of him. Nii-sama.
Come back Rukia, please…
He taught me everything I know. He was a very strict teacher, but I appreciate everything he taught me.
I'll be waiting
What am I to do? Nii-sama, you're my only family. Without you, I'd be completely alone. Gin's planning to break into the manor and pillage everything. How am I gonna be okay with that? I love him that's true, but he's using me to ransack my house.
She stood with the katana in her hands and made her way to the center of the room, her bare feet paddering on the polish wooden floor.
Assassin. Heist. Nii-sama. It equals to the possibility that Gin may very well kill my brother. But I can beg him right? Like I did with Renji's life. Spare him. Yes spare him.
Closing her eyes, Rukia could see the man's figure looming over her. The steel grey eyes staring down. Divine punishment looking down.
Love him? Are you telling me that you love an assassin. A killer?
But he loves me…
Did he say that to you?
She raised it over her head, both hands grasping at the handle.
Maybe they can talk and come to an agreement? Impossible. Gin and Nii-sama are polar opposites. One is easy-going and lenient, the other is up tight and strict. Sleazy—honest. Warm and loving—Cold and restricted.
She swung downward, "One!" she raised it once more, "Two!"
Make him forget about it. Well, even if I could do that, what about the others? They normally work on their own, but they all teamed up for this…
"Kuchiki, do you know what that name represents? Unattainable value. Nobility that is pure like snow, fragile like spring. This is what your footwork must show. Cannot be felt, like the wind, just barely."
"But, Nii-sama, I could never catch you, I—,"
"Silence. I don't want excuses. Start over."
Rukia stopped after countless swings.
"Unattainable…" she whispered.
"Aizen's dead."
A breeze of emotions blew across the faces of those around the table.
"I can't believe you'd actually pull something of that caliber," Stark was the first who spoke, "We're screwed."
"Oh…shit," Nnorita blinked.
Ulquiorra stood wordlessly in a sudden jolt, "I'm leaving."
"Nice wise-ass, how're we gonna get any extra—," Grim stopped speaking when he saw Gin flash a platinum check card.
"Are ya still leaving? Cuz that's fine with me…"
Ulquiorra turned and stared at the card. And then at Gin.
"What do you want me to do?"
It's amazing how fast loyalty can switch from person to person, thought Kira. He stood behind Gin. Against the wall, without saying a word, just simply observing.
"Well tha' all depends on you," Gin replied darkly, "I don' really care if ya leave or stay. I'll give ya a fraction of the money now. Of course, I'ma gonna have ta give ya a bigger piece if ya decided to stay…"
The group was engrossed in deep silence. Ichimaru placed the check card on the table and slid it to Stark's direction.
"Cash it."
Stark stared at it for a moment before reaching for it.
"Yo! What if he runs off with the money!?" roared Grimmjow.
"As if Stark would do such a thing," scoffed Halibel in his defense, "He's a man of his word."
Kira watched, his eyes dropping in thought.
Aizen's death. Giving the check card to Stark. Challenging Ulquiorra. What is he….?
Nnorita wrinkled his nose in disgust, "This smells fishy. Wasn't Aizen the one that grouped us for this mission? So are ya still planning to do this or what?"
Wait. I get it.
Kira looked towards Ichimaru, whose entire expression was hidden underneath his smile.
He killed Aizen giving him complete flexibility with the planning of this heist. He's giving the check card he stole to Stark knowing that there may be a chance that he and Halibel may leave and never come back. Grimmjow is only after the money and with Ulquiorra's loyalty shattered, he'll follow whoever has monetary power…
In other words… he's driving them away…
"Course I am,"
I have a feeling that he doesn't want to do this…
"Good, cuz I'm not in it for the money," replied Nnorita, "Rumor has it, Kuchiki Byakuya's one hell of a fighter."
"Fuck that shit—Stark, I'm trailing your ass!" barked Grimmjow.
"Fine by me," Stark replied casually.
Halibel scoffed.
"Why is he going to cash it, why not give it to me?" The group looked up to Ulquiorra.
"Cuz, he knows your dumbass is gonna take it," Grim spat in reply.
"The only one talking about taking money is you—I think it's pretty safe to assume that you're the only money greedy bitch up in here," commented Nnorita.
"Fuck you," spat Grim.
"Oh, shut the fuck up."
"You can't shut me up, ass wipe! You fuckin think you're all fuckin that?!" Grim stood ready to face off.
"Boys!" cried Halibel.
Kira frowned as he saw Gin slightly chuckle to himself. He loves animosity, no, he lives off of it.
"Like Halibel said earlier, Stark's a better person ta trust, so that's why I'm gonna let 'im do it, sides' he's pretty good at it—Crackin' codes an' crunchin' numbers… after all, e's a treasure hunter." Gin finalized with a smirk.
"Very well… is this meeting over?" Ulquiorra looked ready to leave, it was quite obvious to them that he was still upset over the death of his master. It was an expression he showed with his actions instead of his face, which appeared to be constantly unchanging.
Kira wondered if he wore a mask of a different sort, working in the same way as Gin's smile. Because, after all, indifference, like playfulness, can be used as a personal shield—it just has a different shape.
"Yeah, pretty much," Gin chimed, "We'll meet again and see if yer all feelin' up ta it once Stark's got th' money, I'm sure we'll be talkin' a lil bit more seriously."
The emerald eyes looked towards the door as he approached the exit.
"You conveniently talked about everything without mentioning her, eh?"
The attention shifted towards Nnorita whose sleazy eyes narrowed, "You didn't say what she's gonna play in all this."
"No, he didn't" Grimmjow teased, "Cuz that's his lil' princess," he scoffed, "You're not planning to share her with anybody are ya, fox?"
"You sound very interested, Grimmjow," Stark commented smartly.
"Shut the fuck up."
"The Kuchiki family runs thin. Th' only members tha' exist are Kuchiki Byakuya and Kuchiki Rukia. I know tha' big brother will do anythin' ta get 'is beloved sister to a safe place," he sang sarcastically, "At dis moment I've go 'er doin' exactly wha' I want 'er ta do," Gin tilted his head in his direction, "Nnorita, is there anythin' else ya wannna know?"
"Che."
The door closed as Ulquiorra exited the room.
"I have her as a fail-safe back up in case my plan flops"
"You mess around too much, that's what." Nnorita ran his long fingers into his hair, "Screw around too much. Just get to the point and cut'em down. I'll wait till the money's here but if I have to hold for several more days after that—I'm going ahead with it myself."
Kira's gaze met the ground. I guess it won't be possible. There's not way of turning back at this point. If Ichimaru would announce that he'd quit, what would that say of his reputation? Even worse still, they'll go all out on their own. And unorganized attack is chaos. Kuchiki-san will suffer more that way, I feel.
Kira looked up and saw Gin talking more to Stark about something. Halibel near them both; nodding and listening intently.
Grimmjow stood and walked off, a hidden grin etched at the corner of his lips. Kira's eyes widened.
"Fail-safe back up… heh."
It was a grumble, a small whisper, caught by Kira's eyes from the movement of his lips. Gin had joked in the beginning to Grimmjow to not mess around with her…. It was because he knew that he posed a threat. Because he was a man without law, without morals, living outside the lines of society. Yes, Ichimaru knew him very well. And it was because of Kira that Grimmjow was wrapped up in all of this in the first place.
"Well, I'll be on my way," Stark announced after he received the information he needed.
"Godspeed," Halibel called.
He simple nodded in her direction and walked off.
Gin getting ready to leave the room saw Izuru at the doorway staring down the hall.
"Kira, why don'cha help me wi' lunch?"
"Kuchiki-san, I wonder where is she—,"
"Come on,"
"Huh?"
A bead of sweat fell down the side of her face. She wasn't exactly tired. The sunlight filtered through the windows made it hot and uncomfortably warm. Nothing like the large Kuchiki manor. The dojo was on the first floor and Byakuya kept the doors wide open.
Blowing in, the fresh cool breeze was refreshing, drying the skin, soaked and drenched in sweat. It was so strange, but the cheery trees in the centered garden were always in bloom, all year around. The soft rosy petals entering the wide open shoji screen doors littering the polished wooden floors in its simplistic beauty.
The house was an ancient marvel possessing countless antiques. At a very young age, Rukia learned not to touch them and never ask. The sound of the sliding door broke her thoughts.
Standing at the entrance was a pale-faced man, the vivid green eyes that glowed rested on the petite figure observing the surprise expression flourish over her face.
"Kuchiki Rukia," he breathed coldly. Nnorita's comment circled his thoughts. "You conveniently talked about everything without mentioning her, eh?"
"Yes?" she blinked innocently completely oblivious of his thoughts.
"A meddlesome woman," he scorned in disgust.
Rukia lowered her weapon and gazed towards him with honest eyes, "Please tell me, what did I do wrong? In what way did I offend you?"
"Because of you, I'm only left to wander again."
–
Yes.
Only wander.
Continuously watching time flow. Watching others live. But, haven't I been doing that always?
–
"I'm sorry," Rukia frowned feeling confused of the strange statements he issued.
In the distance, Grimmjow's footsteps were heard. Rukia stiffened.
What had changed him so, Ulquiorra pondered as he thought to himself, that he would even conceive the thought of murdering Aizen Sousuke?
Bodies laid scattered about the entrails decorating the walls and ceiling. Weapons lying about as the blood stained ceiling fan calmly swerved in circles. An adolescent crouched down towards the ground, face hidden deep within his knees, his arms drawn over his head, knuckles whitened as his fingers dug into the platinum silver mane.
Through the wide open doors a man relaxed rather sophisticated walked in closely followed by Ulquiorra. The glasses were gone and the cold brown eyes watched the frightened youth.
"Did he do this?" Ulquiorra asked stoically. He calmly observed the surroundings.
"It seems that way..."
Sousuke made his way over to him crouching down slowly to his level, "Tell me boy," the clever eyes narrowed, "What is your name?"
"D-don't make me..." he whispered nervously, "Don' tell me what to do!! Please..."
Aizen rested his palm over the boy's head, "Who are you talking to?"
Ulquiorra then spotted it, Shinsou. The blade rested within the boy's reach.
"Aizen-sama, this katana is defiantly one of them," Ulqui approached it but didn't dare to touch the blade. Sousuke glanced back in response as he calmly stroked the sliverish strands, "There, there... it's not as bad as you think. I know you aren't the one whose been doing this. I know it's not your fault. I know it wasn't you."
The boy's hands shook as the fingers loosened its grip to slowly raise his head. Red eyes were exposed open wide enough to see the expression in them stressed ,in panic. They moved landing on Aizen's tranquil gaze.
"My name is Aizen Sousuke, and yours?"
"Gin... Ichimaru Gin."
"Could you tell me where is it coming?"
Gin jerked his head in the direction of the cursed blade stained in blood. The feet that stood near it cause the boy's eyes to trail up to Ulquiorra's face and then back down to Shinsou.
Aizen serenely stood, and walked towards it. Everything around him seem to freeze.
"This? Is this it?"
"Sir..."
"It's alright, Ulquiorra."
Ichimaru's teeth clenched. The thin spindly fingers twitched in their place.
"Let me tell you something, Gin."
"Let go of it," he whispered, "Ya can't touch it."
"The voice you hear, the impulses you receive, are not from this blade—they are from inside you, Gin."
The eyes stared at him in shock.
Aizen slowly stood with the blade in his hands and with a handkerchief retrieved from his back pocket, he wiped the surface clean, "Shinsou is not a separate entity rather, a portion of your own. You cannot ignore it, you cannot erase it, nor can it cease to exist. You destroy this weapon it will manifest itself in another."
The drawn-up knees sank to the ground as Aizen approached. He bent down and placed the blade in his hands.
"It is a power that rests inside you. Wild. Untamed. Do you understand?"
The cold steel touched his neck.
"Givin' me this were the worst mistake you could ever make..." hissed Gin.
"Untamed because it controls you. Untamed because you fail to act on your own accord. That is why I don't point at you—accuse you—call you monster. I'm sure your ears have heard the same things over and over."
The hands shook.
"Murderer. Assassin. Heartless. Fiend. Demon. Killer. Criminal—,"
"Shut it, shut up! I don' wanna hear it anymore!" he screamed. The blade pierced into his skin tearing through, and the body of the professor fell back. Headless, when he blinked, it wasn't so. Simply an illusion.
Ichimaru quickly stood they both where found across from him. Aizen's blade was drawn. A katana that gleamed, a metallic silver, the light reflected was nothing but glazed beams of light. Beautiful, hauntingly beautiful.
"Follow me, Ichimaru Gin, and I will make that power yours."
"You. You... got one too?"
"Yes Gin... in the position you stand now the things you see, compared to what I am seeing... are galaxies apart. Realize that you and I aren't the only ones with this ability. There are others with their entities dormant sleeping inside them, connected with weapons that are hundreds of years old. This... this is my mission, my life's work."
"So, how many did you hafta kill to find that out?"
Sousuke's eyes closed as he smiled, "Why should that matter? Fools, that mettle with the private research of a educator, aren't worth keeping their lives to pollute the earth with their absurdity."
"You don't care..." he gazed at him awed.
Ulquiorra saw admiration grow in the young boy's eyes.
"Gin, do not let such petty sentiments get in the way of tapping into your true potential. So you see, we are not like the others, for we stand on a different plane, adhere to different principles... foolish notions over the matter of death... desperately clinging on to life, it displays the shallowness of their existence. An existence that is not worth keeping. These notions, restrain us... they... tie us down to their society. Let them go... and you will find control over your impulses."
Gin looked towards the ground, an uneasiness washed over his face. He then raised his head, the direction of small slits as it glanced about, pointed to the mess of dried blood that was decorated around them, "If I do that, I won' be able to stop.... I won' be able t'be myself again... I might... do somethin' I'll regret..."
"Then... allow me, Gin, to be the influence that will block the demands of your blade."
Aizen... was more than just an authority figure, much more than a boss to take orders from. He was his mentor, some sort of twisted paternal figure, the man who molded him to be the person that now stands before us... Aizen was the channel Ichimaru used to control the extirpative side to his personality.
But this woman, this woman is possibly the one that has replaced him. Aizen's death... it is a verity impossible to accept. A contradiction to his existence, to his ideals... there too many holes... missing bits of information... this woman...
–
"Outta the way you dead-beat bastard! I placed dibs on her first!" Grimmjow growled roughly shoving Ulqui out of the way.
"I see, perhaps Stark's comment was not too far off the point."
"You," Grimm's unsheathed blade, Pantera, aimed its tip towards the stoic pale faced man, "You're next. I can't stand your ass. What makes you all think I wanna fuck this skinny bitch?! She's got no fuckin tits!"
Rukia steamed, "Asshole! I'm right here! At least have the decency to spit your personal opinions somewhere else," Taking a fighting stance her violet eyes ferociously glared at him, throwing away any fear, "This skinny bitch is capable of killing your dumb ass cuz I got no tits to get in the way!"
"Heh! We'll see about that!" dashing towards her in a sudden burst he swung the katana in a horizontal motion. The metal rang against hers.
The potatoes that fell into the ramen soup has slipped out of Ichimaru's long fingers.
Izuru looks towards him. The clever eyes slowly closed.
The tiny feet danced on the polished wooden floor. Ravish instinctive swings, left, right, rising up, falling down. She blocked them, turned them around. He rasped, she clenched her teeth, tightened the grip of her blade. He laughed she cursed.
The footsteps. Her footsteps were like drops falling in black water. Each step, every landing thump, vibrated, rippling across the recesses of his imagination.
"Ichi—," Kira stopped himself and heard the heavy steps of Nnorita who walked away up towards the stairs.
"Kuchiki-san," Kira whispered. Putting down the cooking knife he turned to go.
"Kira?"
The blonde faced him.
"Here."
He passed him a stack of bowls along with the chopsticks, "I'll catch up with you soon."
"Do you—,"
"She's up there sparring Grim'jow on da second floor, I know."
–
"Tch!" Rukia's feet were dragged back as the force pushed her.
The cerulean eyes glowed matching the wide grin on his face, "Not bad midget. You're actually pretty good—now I'm not really bored anymore!"
It's so hard to get to him. He definitely has an advantage over me, somehow.
–
Nii-sama.
Nii-sama.
Nii-sama!
What is it that you do? How can I be strong as you? Graceful as you? Perfect as you? Absolutely translucent as you?
–
Byakuya's image flashed into her mind.
–
You taught me everything.
But I could never catch up to you.
Be with you on that level.
I'm so pathetic, you don't deserve to have a sister like me... and yet you do, and you care for me... taught me everything you knew...
–
Ulquiorra watched still, and Halibel joined him moments after the battle had begun and observed with interest, keenly narrowed her eyes caught her developing style. Her stare then moved towards Grimmjow.
–
"Nii-sama, I'm sorry I'm late." Rukia bowed before the closed screen doors.
"Come in."
As she slid the doors open, a fresh breeze blew. The heavy scent of flowered sakura filled her nostrils. Petals scattered across the floor as he stood practicing himself, his back erect. The practice weapon was lowered his gaze never met hers.
She hastily stepped in and assumed her position in front of him. The wind played with their hair as the petals swirled around them.
–
"Quit your starin!" shouted Grimmjow toward Halibel, "You just HOPING that she'll kick my ass, but that ain't happening!"
"Insecurity." Ulquiorra uttered.
"Shut the fuck up."
The wind, that scented breeze filled with that perfume. She breathed out calmly.
Grimm hissed as he faced his opponent once more.
–
I was feeling all hyped and then the fuckin peanut gallery gotta be all fuckin bias and shit. Huh?
–
Rukia's shoulders were slumped slightly, her breath moved at a relaxed pace in perfect rhythm. Her hands loosened their grip to a relaxed hold at the hilt and her feet focused it's weight on the head of her foot instead of the heel. Her eyes slowly opened and the violet color was steady. And unmoving steel.
–
What the hell happened? All of the sudden she's all serious?
–
"Heh!" he propelled himself at her and she waited. Waited. In a fraction of several seconds he got closer, closer still.
"Eiyaaa!"
In one furious swing downwards, Pantera crashed to the ground. Grimmjow's blue eyes widened in disbelief while that infamous thought flooded his thoughts.
Where the hell did she go?!
"The flash step," Halibel commented, "I'd never thought I'd see this move manifested in anyone other than the God of the flash herself. So, she really did pass on her abilities to him..."
Ulquiorra unchanging expression shifted to the doorway where Kira stood. His blue eyes wide.
"S-sugoi..."
Grimmjow smirked, "Heh don't get all happy cuz you know some new tricks, in the end it all waters down to strength!" He swung again and she disappeared appearing again behind his back, the edge of her blade at the skin of his neck.
"Strength is an important factor, but it is useless unless it reaches you opponent."
Grimmjow grinned, "If you're gonna kill me, do it now, isn't that the point you wanted to make?"
"No," she replied calmly, "It's not."
"Kuchiki-san," Kira whispered in awe.
"Well then, allow me," Nnorita who walked in reached for the enormous strange weapon that hung on the racks against the wall, "Let's make this a three way battle," he crowed. He brought down the mighty weapon to the ground in their direction scattering them to the opposite ends of the dojo, "Heh, like a pair of flies."
"Over here."
Nnorita's eyes trailed up to where he held his large crescent-like blade at the weapon's end she stood delicately—a butterfly barely resting the tiny feet poised to strike.
He bent backward as she ushered a horizontal strike. He pulled back the weapon as she leaped backward and he laughed. Grimmjow attacked Nnorita who swung at both of them equally when he had the chance.
"I have to admit," Ulquiorra stated, "This is entertaining me."
Rukia felt this rush, a feeling of euphoria in the form of adrenaline running through her veins. Like a drug it was a high, that aided her speed and quickly her heartbeat. She found it hard to keep a serious face. It was then that she understood why Grimmjow and Nnorita would smile so much, would laughed in the mist of battle.
This was fun.
This felt good.
This is addictive.
She analyzed their abilities all the while of the brawl and say that Grimmjow in spite of his instincts and skill was actually more inexperienced than Nnorita. The ease in which he held his weapon. The power he used to bring it down was amazing, frightening at the least.
Kira stood stunned and thoughts ran through his head. So strongly with so much confidence that it seemed impossible if it wasn't considered; she could join us. She could be one of us. A familiar hand landed at Izuru's shoulder.
"My, my lookie what we have here..."
Kira turned and saw Gin standing there. He simply smiled and pointed to the pot he left on a tiny stool at the entrance, "Help yerself," he said.
Ulquiorra was the first one there calmly taking his bowl to him, "Could you pass me a bit?" Please put in some of the pork."
Kira silently complied.
Grimmjow stood next to Rukia catching his breath. Rukia felt somewhat exhausted as well.
"Let's kick his ass, and get'em outta the way," he rasped in a whisper.
"Sounds good to me," she replied. It's funny how sometime ago, we were mortal enemies, she thought.
"Excuse me, is it a lil too late for me ta join?"
Rukia gasped.
Ichimaru Gin walked up stopping right next to Nnorita's side, "Looks like it's uneven."
"I really don't care," Nnorita hissed.
"I'll head for the kitty-cat," the smile stretched up further his face as he pulled out his blade.
"Fine whatever," Nnorita posed to strike.
"Seniors vs. Freshmen," Ulquiorra looked about measuring the level of skill.
"How mis-matched," Halibel stated adding to Ulquiorra's comment.
Rukia felt numb, she was going against him? This would be the first time that she would see him in battle. She saw how short his katana was.
"It's tiny," she whispered.
"Don' say tha', yer hurtin his feelin's," he cooed darkly. The end of his palm touched the tip of the wakizashi and as he pulled back his hand the katana extended it's length to that of a daito. The mysterious blade touched the floor stretching nearly three feet in length. Grimmjow didn't wait for him to move and dashed off first.
"Wait!" she cried.
He could control the length of his katana?!
Sparks flew grating off the grinding between both weapons. The fangs bared in Grimmjow's teeth as he faced off with the kitsune. It was a blur and the continuously clashing of metal echoing throughout the dojo.
"Why don't cha watch your own back!" cried Nnorita.
Her eyes widened seeing his blade coming too late. Grimmjow was knocked back coming in between Nnorita's strike, a gash opened in a diagonal slash across his chest.
When she saw the blood, she was started to get nervous. Her hands and feet were so jittery they still wanted to keep moving. She was still feeling the drugged effects of her adrenaline.
"Tch!" Nnorita lifted his weapon to strike and she faze away in a step unknowingly landing behind Gin. Her breath hitched. She blinked at she realized that her arms instinctively lifted to block his sudden swing of his blade.
His smile was bittersweet, "Don't be scared Hun, it's all in fun,"
She regained her confidence and fought against him. She saw that his footwork was light as well and as the blades dances around them. The gleam reflected off of the Japanese steel as they barely whizzed past her, as she barely, barely was able to dodge them.
The tip of her katana slice across his cheek.
Nnorita just lowered his weapon and scoffed, "I barely did anything," he grumbled.
Grim clenched his jaw furiously buried in his own thoughts.
–
Stronger. I need to get stronger.
–
He grimaced as he tried to get up. The tantalizing sensation of pain spread along the gash opened by Nnorita's attack, "Fuck it all," he growled.
Her katana clashed with Gin's and as she noticed that his pressure against hers softened. He turned it and pushed the direction of the blades downward breaking up the tension. He back up a couple of light footed steps. A playful smile flourished.
"That was fun, don'cha think?"
Rukia's eyes glowed with happiness, "Yep! Ummm, but—," she looked in Grimmjow's direction.
"Don' worry bout it." he reassured her, "He's kinda used ta it. The body gets a good defense after many beatings—like tha' man over there," he nodded his head towards Nnorita's direction, "His skin's become a bit tougher. A dull blade can't cut 'im. Like an outer shell of a bug."
"Wow really?"
"Mmm. When fightin' people like us, ya don't consider their safety or our lives. Cuz we chose to risk it all long before you'd ever choose ta challenge us." Gin sheathed Shinsou. Onii-chan taught ya how ta fight, right?" He asked tilting his head in question.
Rukia laughed at the sound of "onii-chan". The sound of "chan" would have wrinkled Byakuya's nose in a perplex manner, "Yes," she replied in a smile.
Gin took in that smile.
"Grimmjow you're fuckin bloody messy!" roared Nnorita, "You're getting it all over the plates!"
"Look at me—does it look like I care?"
"Mmm, this is very good," Ulquiorra stated. He sat against the wall next to the others.
"Yes, I agree, I wish Stark was here to try some of this." Halibel commented.
"It's the first time I've eaten this with potatoes mixed in," Izuru added, "But it's very delicious."
"I don't have barely any in mine," Ulquiorra peeked into Kira's plate.
"Here have some," Kira happily dropped a couple into his bowl.
"You bastard!" Nnorita jumped Grimmjow flinging punches. Grimm launched a couple right back at him.
"I'ma fuck you up!" Grimmjow countered. A cloud of dust wrapped around them as they fought forgetting the ramen and the bowls all together.
"Nii-sama is amazing, what I showed was only one fourth of his skill—or even less," Rukia concluded as they approached.
"Wrong."
"?"
"It aint his skill, it's yer skill, not his style but yer own. Seven students under one same sensei is gonna make different measures a skill, seven different styles t'be developed in seven differen' ways."
Rukia just watched him in amazement. She felt a bit excited because it was the first time she'd ever had such an engaging conversation.
He likes to talk about those things, it's like getting a small peek into his world. I barely know much about him.
"Ya look so concentrated," he chuckled breaking her thoughts, "Here sit down, ya look exhausted."
"Yeah, I am."
"Mmm," Gin noted the blood stains, "Grimm-kitty left 'is 'existence' spilled all over th' place."
Ulquiorra and the others gave him an odd look.
"Wha?" he joked, "I don' mean that but th' other vital substance... shame, shame on all a yer dirty minds..."
They shook their heads as they resumed their meal. Kira made his way over, "This one's okay," Kira passed a bowl that was clean to Rukia, "I'll go get another one."
"Nah, I'll eat from yurs when yur finished, Kira."
"Reckless as usual, as well as ignorant to counsel from others," Halibel spoke while wrapping bandages around Grimmjow's chest.
Several hours passed after lunch in the dojo, and now he sat in one of the many rooms partly naked with only a towel wrapped around his waist.
"But I note that you heal pretty fast."
"That ain't nothing compared to what I get," he boasted.
"..."
"But... she's a decent fighter, I'll give it that... I wonder if he's trying to take advantage of that too?"
"There. Finished," she stepped back, "I don't normally do this, so you better show some gratitude."
"Then why'd you do it?"
"Because, you remind me of a spunky little boy."
"Tch."
"You get along with her well, I feel."
"Why are you interested in her for?"
"Because..." she replied.
"Hate when people say that."
She softly laughed. Halibel then turned her back on him, "Ichimaru-san is a dangerous person..." Grimmjow stared at the back that faced him, "...like a double-edged sword capable of attacking his own master. I fear her life is still at risk even more so, as he becomes more intimate with her."
"Why do you care?"
"Because..."
"Argh. I told you I hate—,"
The door slammed in the middle of Grimmjow's statement.
"Fuckin bitch."
The summer breeze was refreshing as it blew into the courtyard. The blades of grass waved back and forth as Rukia fell deeper into sleep.
–
The ground swallowed her up twisting down into a pit of eternal darkness. Noticing her predicament, she started to scream but she landed with a thud on a large red cushioned chair. Dressing in a frilled blue light blue dress, she was at the end of a large dinner table.
"Ah, I see we have a guest! A guest!" Gin's familiar voice cause her to turn her head back to find the Mad Hatter dressed elegantly, the sliver mane glistening in the summer sun.
Gin is the Mad Hatter?
"Why don'tcha join us?" he asked playfully pushing in her seat.
"S-sure, I guess."
She saw a small cup upside down moved by itself towards her cup. As it flipped over, Kira Izuru, tiny and chibi-sized with small mouse ears poking out of his head of blonde.
"One lump or two?" he timidly asked.
"Of course she wants two," the Mad Hatter cooed to Mr. Dormouse.
He carried the spoon and dumped two spoonfuls into her cup of British tea.
"Why thank you," Rukia uttered sweetly.
Color flushed the little mouse's cheeks and he hopped off hiding behind the large teapot.
"Tell me what brings you to this place?"
A crisp black suit with an unevenly folded handkerchief sticking out of the front pocket. The tall hat he wore had plumage a golden chain wrapped around a single card: The Ace of Spades.
She stared at it and soon it became the only thing in sight. Growing large enough that the abyss of such dark color swallowed her whole.
Large malicious grin matching the haunting cerulean eyes appearing in the inky darkness.
–
Grimmjow the Cheshire Cat?
Ulquiorra white rabbit?
–
Steady eyes that watched the clock. The hands that counted down, down to the eventual destruction of the Kuchiki manor. Burning the flames rose as Byakuya's body was consumed deep within the burning debris.
–
Her eyes shot open as she gasped. Sound of birds accented the warm summer air of that late afternoon. Rukia's body relaxed, her eyes grew wider still finding that her head was resting on Gin's lap.
His smile was ever present and from this point of view, she could see that his eyes where not exactly close but open just a crack, spotting the crimson irises that rested within them. His hand rested on her left cheek, the thumb stroking the skin gently all in silence.
Kira plucked dandelions apart. Analyzing everything. That was his problem. He thought too much. He worried too much. He empathized too much. But he, couldn't help it. He needed to be sure, especially now with this whole situation going on. Stark running that errand was buying some time. But he didn't see Gin taking advantage of that time. Instead, there he was, holding close a woman that would cost the loss of an entire mission.
–
Aizen's dead.
But, the others want to go with it anyway...
But exactly how—
–
"Argh!!!" Kira buried his head into the grass in frustration.
A breeze blew and nothing was heard except Kira who mumbled words to himself.
Gin saw her barely mouth some words, but he caught them.
"This must be some kind of wonderland."
"Really?" he whispered back.
She shot back of look of surprise, realizing he heard her, then slowly changed into a smile, "Yes, but twisted and wrong... I don't know what to do..."
Ichimaru searched his thoughts for words to say but none would come. Kira who now watched them met eyes with his partner.
"Tell her" he mouthed.
"..."
"Tell her you love her..." Kira repeated.
Rukia didn't catch anything, as just then Gin began to take to his feet.
"Is there something wrong?" she asked.
"Nothin'," he mused as he started off.
"Kuchiki-san look he wanted to tell you that he lo—ack!" Izuru was dragged by the back collar by Gin into the shrine house.
Behind closed doors did he let the blonde go.
"So what are you planning? Because I'm driving myself mad!" Kira ran his fingers though, ruffling his hair, "What are we going to do?!" he whispered harshly, "With Kuchiki-san? And the others? The money? The mansion? The hidden treasure Aizen was after? Did you really kill him? How much is a lie, how much is the truth?" He eyes were stressed as he looked into Gin's searching in vain for an answer, "Ichimaru-san? How deep is your love for her? How much are you willing to sacrifice? And you won't tell her? You won't give her peace of mind? You won't give me peace of mind?! She's confused—I'm confused—I—,"
Gin's hand landed heavily on Izuru's shoulder silencing hm immediately. Gin's head was lowered.
"One thing."
Kira stared at the downcast face. The hand still had a hold on his shoulder it slightly gripped it.
"One thing," he simply repeated, "I just need to clear out just that one thing and with tha' I'm gonna pull through with it."
"With what?"
"The plan."
"What is your plan?"
"Le's talk later. I got more ta tell anyway, and now aint th' right time."
The hours came and went. It was dinner and everyone sat and ate their full. Ulquiorra looked about the dinner table catching an ominous feeling. Grimmjow now and then would glance towards Rukia and when she would lift her head he'd jerk his eyes in a different direction. Nnorita absorbed in his own thoughts and Halibel grilling Ichimaru with an unnerving stare. It was a most awkward setting and Rukia was beginning to understand why Kira ate in his room most of the time and concluded on joining him next time. If there was going to be a next time that is...
After wards, everyone waked about as Rukia picked up the dishes. She saw Gin fetch Kira and together they stepped outside. She stood debating whether or not if she should follow. For some reason, she longed to be part of that inner circle. She longed to be part of his secrets, see the face that hid behind that mask.
"Yo."
She nearly jumped startled. Grimmjow looked unsure as he scratched the side of his head.
"You need help cleanin?"
"Eh???"
It was already dark as they stood outside on the porch. A cold breeze blew and all of the forest beat with the heavy harmony of the cicadas, and katydids. The crickets that settled underneath the veranda hummed harmoniously along with them.
"Oh look, the fireflies..." Kira cried in a hushed awe.
Indeed, they floated like miniature lanterns gliding underwater, glowing, radiating a mysterious atmosphere.
"It is a perfect time to tell ghost stories, wouldn't you think, Ichimaru-san?"
Gin smiled, "Yeah, it is..."
Rukia managed to get done with Grimm's help and after parting ways with him, she approached the entrance where Gin and Kira left though and noticed that the sliding doors weren't completely closed and their voices safely reached her ears without being spotted.
"Kira..."
"Yes?"
"Do you remember... at the part... that woman?"
"Matsumoto-san yes, I remember... she was the one who locked you up in the hospital."
Rukia lifted her fingers cupping her lips.
"Do ya wanna know how I did it?"
"Is this your attempt at a story?"
Somehow Rukia could sense his smile widen.
"She were breathin' real hard, struggling ta keep a straight face. She was tryin' not ta break down in front a me. After saying me last words. I sunk Shinsou inside 'er heart.
And ya know wha she did?
You know what happened?
She started coughin'. Grabbin' my blade she begged me to stop.
Begged me."
Rukia lost the sensation of her feet.
The hands that covered her mouth muffled whines.
"But I... didn't.
I didn' listen. I didn' want ta listen... I just wanted ta see more. I wanted to listen... I just wanted to see more. I wanted to taste it. Smell it, feelin' with my hands.
Blood.
The blood that bubbled out of 'er lips tha' seeped from th' wounds I holed in her with, stabbin' 'er over and over and over and over again."
"Nooo!!!"
Kira jumped in fright, but suddenly realized who that voice belong to.
"Kuchiki-san—,"
Gin grabbed his wrist signaling Kira to stop. And so just then Izuru discovered the one thing that Gin wanted to settle.
"You're asking for the impossible..." Kira said seeing Gin walk into the house as he opened the doors.
"Don't you get it Kira?" he calmly spoke without turning back, "I'm in love with the impossible... I always was. I suppose I'll always will be."
Rukia raced towards her room tears streaming down her eyes.
–
No, no, no.
Matsumoto—dead?
No.
Killed?
In that way?!
Her last moments—
In that way?
Matsumoto—no...
No...
To think her last impression of me was a deception. Clinging on to the man that ended her life. Aiding the man that she put away. Falling in love with the man who killed her!
–
Halibel heard Rukia's screech and was up to go to figure out what was going on. However as she took her steps, she felt dizzy.
Dammit... he drugged my plate...Ugh...I feel dizzy, it doesn't feel like poison through. She stumbled to the entrance of her room.
He knew I was growing suspicious that fuck-faced fox...
She gripped the doorway.
"N...norita? Grimm....jow?" She slurred.
She saw that Grimmjow laid collapsed on the hallway floor.
Shit...
She saw the floor rapidly rise up before flashing pitch black.
…. hurry... I need you... Stark.
Rukia was reaching her room when she felt arms wrap around her waist. Her eyes opened wide. Her heart rose to her throat.
"I cut 'er head off after she bled to death," he whispered ruefully. She broke off of his loosened grasp and rushed into her room shutting herself in.
He heard her cry and gasp for air every now and then. Resting his back against her door. He heard her cry. He heard her weep.
–
Impossible.
Simply impossible.
What am I doing?
Why did I bring it up? Why did I keep it to myself? Feel the need? Leaving the door open, starting the conversation putting everyone else to sleep... all for what?
Oh right.
That's why.
I love her. I want her to see me. To see all of me. I want to know how true her words are. How far she is willing to take them. Will she want to be with me now? Will she still say those words? Will she still smile towards me? Will she still feel safe in my arms? I need to know. I need to know, or else I won't be tell this stupid heart to shut up... I need to decide the outcome of the plan.
Rukia sat up on her futon with drawn up knees.
"You liked Kurosaki? I've would of never guessed..." cooed Matsumoto in surprise as they sat together in the mall food court.
"But anyway whatever—I've always known he was a blockhead when it came to those types of things. What's pissing me off was what Orihime did to me—when did she fall in love with him? When? I thought we were best friends, I thought there was no secrets between us?!" Rukia huffed before taking a sip of her king size cherry coke.
Matsumoto giggled, her clear eyes glowed with fun, "You look so funny with such a large drink, and all that food, that can't be good for you..."
"Ah, who cares? I need the weight, maybe I'll grow a bigger breast-size."
"Sweetie, you don't realize how sexy you are—it doesn't matter what you got—it's how you use it that counts, hun."
"But! But Matsumoto, you so beautiful, so amazing! You don't even have to blink to get the guys to look at you!"
"But why do you think? I'm oozing with self-confidence and pride. That's all you need. You—you're model material, you'd look awful with bigger boobs trust me, don't change."
"R-really?"
"Psst, don't say anything, but Hitsu's been wanting to talk to you."
"Shut up," Rukia scoffed in disbelief, "Isn't he seeing Hinamori?"
"I know him better than anyone. Why are you doubting my gossip? He's into you and yes he's with Momo because he feels close to her... but the truth is he can't get out of that friendship ditch. He can't stop seeing her as a friend even if he doesn't want to."
"Aw that really sucks... I can relate, I mean seriously I'd date Renji but I just can't seem to see him as a lover it just feels weird."
"See! You both have something in common! How about I hook you both up on a blind date?"
"Matsumoto, it's not a blind date when I know who I'm seeing..."
"The date is blind, not the people!" she cheered.
Rukia threw back her head and laughed, "That sounds nice, but it feels awkward, truth is, I barely know him."
"Don't worry sweetie, he's all bark but no bite."
"Give me some time to think about it..." Rukia paused only then to gobble up her fries.
"Alright, I'll keep you posted then... and oh, don't get mad at Orihime."
"Give me one good reason," Rukia raised a brow.
"She's shy, painfully shy... you know that Rukia. She has been harboring those feelings for a long time."
"She's been talking to you... I shouldn't be surprised."
"Listen, listen... she's jealous."
"W-wha?! Of me?" Rukia pointed to herself in disbelief, "B-but she's so much more..."
"Prettier? Well those are her exact words."
Rukia stared at her.
"Do me a favor and go make up with her. You guys should be fighting over a guy."
Rukia flushed scarlet, "I'm not fighting over Ichigo! She could have him... it's just the way she did it that got me so..." Rukia stared at the chicken nuggets that laid uneaten, "...upset. It hurted me. She knew how close Ichigo and I were and how much I wanted... him to notice me."
Matsumoto took Rukia's hands into her own, "Love is war. It's hard to say but it's true, but, that shouldn't interfere with your friendship. She feels horrible about doing it but at the same time, she wanted to make that move and well he... responded there's no fighting that reality." she squeezed her hands warmly around Rukia's, "But friendship is stronger much stronger than anything else in this world. Take it from a girl with experience... without friendship their isn't love."
"Matsumoto..." Rukia whispered.
Rangiku smiled warmly in return and her face appeared to glow and her confidence seem to transfer through her hands into Rukia's and enter her body.
"Promise me you'll make up with her kay?"
Matsumoto... I couldn't keep your promise.
In fact I made it worse. I argued terribly with her and since then, I haven't called her... I wonder what would've happened if I went that blind date with Hitsugaya... maybe none of this would have happened maybe you'd still be alive... And everyone else... oh my god, Renji... Renji... strange how right now is the first time I've ever thought about my friends.
–
Friendship.
Stronger than anything else in this world
But yet now at this point that power fails to reach me...
–
There was a knock on her door. The screen door slid open just a crack and Rukia could see Gin from beyond that tiny opening. His back faced the door, he must of opened just that tiny bit to allow his voice to filter though.
"Is it okay if I talk for a lil' bit?"
She was quiet for a moment before replying.
"Yes..."
Another bout of silence.
"Sucks, don't it?" A series of funny-not-so-funny coincidences. The girl I knew, you knew, who dates a friend you knew, and I was trapped in a hospital that you worked and knew... all connected before I knew you who... happened. To be the sis' of th' brother who Aizen knew... All coincidences... all at once. Sorry 'bout how things turned out. And... I really mean that from th' bottom of my lil' black heart. I don' know when it all started, maybe with that kiss..."
Rukia's eyes widened.
"But I started t' act different. Bu' at first I were scared... I'm still kinda scared now tha' I mention it. Yeah, I'm scared. Scared of myself. Ya see, I see no future and I don' look back on my past either. I just keep walkin'. I figure that way I feel less pain.
Nothin' bu' dark ahead a me, an' behind me. I just walk alone in th' dark. After Ran and I grew from being kids, it was just the dark and I. After I met Aizen, I learned how to see through that dark, ta blend and become one of those invisible shadows... But then I met Kira.
His gloomy weirdness gave off some kinda glow and I was able to see my feet as I took my steps. Next thing I knew, I'd kept him beside me. So then later on I met you. As I knew ya more ya gave off such a light that nearly blinded me... I can see so much road it scares me... shining on all the deformed shitty things that I kicked outta th' way, sittin' right before me eyes... Th' things I do in comparison to you, how filthy my hands are, how in spite of tha' they dare to touch you... I've contemplated on my past... something that I'd vowed I'd never do... because I look back and for some reason... I can see it all clear as day...
What happened to Ran... it might happen to you... I thought... I thought but I couldn't consider, because you said words that I'd never, never, never heard before. Not from anyone, for so long:
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you...
Them just words, but I wanted to hear them so bad from somebody. Anybody. After me ma left no one were left to say 'em to me. I've always clung on ta Ran, and I forced my affection on her—but look what I did... I guess... I just really couldn't take it anymore. That look in her eyes. Tha' look tha' told me tha' I didn' belong, that I were crazy. Tha' look tha' told me tha' she didn' want me anymore... I was a monster now, that I scared her.
"I'll shoot you Gin, I swear, I'll shoot you dead!"
I don't blame her, though, cuz everybody living in that "real world" acts the same way, but at th' same time it bothered me cuz Ran were somebody I knew for th' longest time, we grew up as kids... I though' she knew me. I though' that she'd take to me an' tha' she'd accept me... help me... or just say those words to me...
So now I tell you this.
If yer looking for a guy you'll show off to yer friends.
A guy who'll buy a house an' settle down.
A guy who'll make an honorable living.
A guy who's friends wit' everybody.
A guy who respects and 'as morals
A guy who fits into th' "real world" in yer social circle..
–
You ain't gonna find that guy in me.
–
You're gonna find that I'll suck ya deeper into my hell, endanger you—I'll make ya think like me, act like me. I'll threaten yer friends your family... I can give you all that pain.."
The creek of that door opened wider. Rukia watched as it opened wider still. His shadow turned as he surfaced his face in the open door. His face had a soft gentle smile the eyebrows were lifted like a little sad pup, whining for it's master.
"Do you still wanna follow me? Do you still wanna be wi' me?" He inched his foot closer but it seemed like his body was rooted at the doorway as if a talisman was placed at the doorway holding back the demon preventing any entry.
"You really...love me? Does that mean you'll accept this side of me too? Accept my nature, accept this lifestyle, walk along this path beside me? My road is outside the "real world" like you said it's a wonderland of twisted dreams, broken hearts and cursed clubs. Of strange faces distorted justice and endless nights. Nights filled of black magic, evil fairy tales... demons hidden behind masks and illusions. All the rules you played in life will no longer apply if you walk with me if..."
He stretched out his arm, "... if you take my hand."
–
Why is it always so hard for me to swallow? Why is always so hard to breath? She gasped. Her heart was beating so hard. It ached her.
Gin, Gin—Gin! I love you! I love you, but I'm so scared! Tears sprang from the rims of her eyes. He saw them slowly melt down her cheeks. I love you so much it hurts! It hurts so much I could die!
–
She tried to speak but the words couldn't escape, they were trapped. Instead she slowly extended her arm. He watched the tiny fingers swimming across the air reaching, reaching, reaching out for his. His eyes opened and their was a gentle gaze found inside them.
But she saw Red. She saw crimson bloody red. Blood. Matsumoto's blood, stained in those eyes. She'd be siding with her suffering, agreeing with her death.
The tips of their fingers touched.
Renji's clumsy way of affection. His dedication a bond of friendship they had since childhood... Ichigo, having past so many precious moments in high school with Orihime, Ishida, Sado and Tatsuki... Dr Urahara who insisted to be called by his first name. The playful jokes his way of patting her on the head. His smile and lenient nature... Nii-sama, he'd never—
Her fingers slipped through his. His didn't try to grasp it. She pulled it back and her chest heaved as it caved into a heart wrenching sob. It was a cry heavy with agony, acutely strong in emotion. Her body rattled as she curled herself up.
Gin's teeth clenched, turning his head away he couldn't stand to look at it anymore. It was too much. Pushed her too hard, too far.
–
I knew it. I knew it, yet I still tried. Knowing that it'll end up like this. It's just like that game, "rotten ace"
All kids from our little school, Ran, and I played it with an old deck of cards we stole from the head master's desk. On an old tree stump in the school yard. Taking turns sweating crossing our fingers, praying to God. Heh so funny.. it was usually me. Our heads pressed together lookin' down on our little stack. My hand reaching for it...
Usually it was me pulling the Ace of Spades. The "rotten ace" it was the most awful thing, that could happen, cuz then you had the 'cooties'... But why... when the ace of spades was the most beautiful card out of the rest? What fun! I always hoped that I'd be the one to find it. I looked forward to it, I yearned for it. The Ace of Spades I wanted to lose because I wanted to hold it in my hand the most beautiful card. Smiling, they'd all laughed and sneered because everybody was happy. Happy that they won, happily I lost.
But I've drawn my ace, but I'm not happy. I've got what I wanted right? She rejected me... I know not that her feelings don't have depth. My heart cannot be aching with guilt. It just...so then why...
–
He heard her cries subside her face buried in her knees. She only wailed in small whines.
–
… did I hope that she wouldn't? I hoped that she'd really... He felt his stomach lurch.
Stepping into the hallway he took a couple of steps.
"In love with the impossible."
Gin looked up and saw Kira standing in front of him.
–
When did he?
Why didn't I notice him right in front of me? Am I that dazed?
–
"Impossible for a victim to fall in love with her killer. For a killer to fall in love with his prey? For him to want to risk it all. To bypass common sense, bypass the instinct to kill. Now, it all makes sense."
"Kira, shut up."
"So what now? You're going to get rid of her? As if nothing—,"
"I said shut up—,"
"—No you shut up!" Kira pinned him against the wall. Gin's body fell back obeying like a rag doll. His sliver tongue continued to spit but his will was long gone."
"Fuckin' hate this feeling..." Gin wheezed with a laugh, "...why does hearing her cry have ta bug me so much—I'd wish she'd shut up," He labored for breath, "Just shut up, shut up, shut up."
Gripping on his black jacket Kira rattled him, "Stop it!" raising his fist he punched him right across his face. Tumbling towards the ground. The kitsune didn't block, he didn't fight back. He just laid there.
Kira's blue eyes solemnly stared at the body, "To think that love has this much power. The power to reduce such an unstoppable force to nothing but a corpse-like heap sprawled on the floor. How frightening," he said.
Rukia was silent as she stared at the single candle that lit her room. Sitting on her futon hugging her knees. The room was filled with the sound of emptiness. Kira slid the door the rest of the way. She looked up and barely managed a smile. She was partly embarrassed because she looked like a total mess.
"I want to apologize for—,"
"Don't."
He lifted his head and saw Rukia's gaze was serene and firm. The redden bags under her eyes gave her the appearance of exhaustion.
He's fiddled with her thoughts for too long, he thought. I'm surprised that she's lasted this long.
"Please accept my aplo—,"
"I said no," she rebuked, "Kira, you're always like this aren't you? But you shouldn't. That man is always carrying your guilt. His hands are soiled so then yours could be clean... apologizing for him is just spitting at his face... he did the same for me..."
Kira's eyes widened.
"I was thinking," Rukia continued, "If Matsumoto were alive, eventually I would have been suspected as an accomplice right?"
Kira really didn't know. But he just listened. Gin could hear her steady voice flow into the hall.
"After what I did and the smooth escape, the impression I left on Renji, that meeting I set up for Gin and Matsumoto. Unmistakeably targeted as a possible accomplice. But he killed her... so now it looks like I was used. I was forced into doing those said things. Now, I look like a hostage. In other words, he took my guilt even though he was the one who caused it."
"Kuchiki-san"
"No matter what I've heard, what I've felt, my heart's always denied the fact of Gin being heartless," she chucked a bit, "When it's the exact opposite. Truth is, he is consumed by his emotions. Overwhelmed. That's why he guards himself so well, that's why he pulls the strings with so much ease..."
Kira saw her smile.
"I'm glad I understand a lot now."
"What are you going to do?" Kira asked dumb-founded.
"Kira... your first name is Izuru, correct?"
"Umm... yes, why?"
"Can I call you that?"
"What...," His voice trailed off confused in all this.
"I decided to let it go. Let it all go."
Kira's eyes widened.
No... way?
She turned his way and grinned, "I had a really good cry! It felt so good it let it all like that . I felt so light... but my head feels stuffy and my throat is kind of groggy.
"Kuchiki-san—,"
"Rukia, just Rukia," she replied, "I'm going to break my ties with everyone. But Kira,"
He approached her. She took his hands into hers. He could feel that they were wet with tears, "Yes?"
"Could you be my friend in exchange?" Her eyes watered again, "Could you be—," she broke off in another small sob as Kira embraced her.
"I thought you cried it out," he commented tenderly.
"Oh Matsumoto, Renji, Ichigo, Inoue, Sado... Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she muffled into Kira's shirt. But I love him, I want to be with him, so please forgive me..."
Kira rubbed her back as he held her, "I'm sure that in someway they'd understand," he whispered, "So please, don't cry anymore." Kira wiped the tears.
A rustle, they both looked back and saw Gin standing in the doorway with a surprised dazed look. His lips barely parted and his eyes wide open.
"What... did you say?"
"I... want to... be... with you," she repeated cautiously. She had no idea how he was going to react. Kira stood and backed off anticipating his next action. He rushed and bounced landing on her futon like an over-excited pup. He hugged her and rubbed her head obsessively, scuffling her hair like a child getting a nuggie.
"Rukia-chan loves me! She loves me! She wants to stay!"
"Wh-wha? Get off you sound like an obnoxious child!" she shouted confused and flustered.
He was sitting up in front of her as he lowered his face in level with hers, "And I love 'er back,"
Rukia quietly gasped.
"I love her more than anything in the world."
She hugged him burying herself within his chest blushing as she took in the scent of his skin the feel of his skin and the firmness of his muscles, through his shirt.
"Well, actually no, there's something I like more."
"Huh?" Rukia blinking wondering.
Gin smiled, "It's making that guy's life impossible," he pointed at Kira who was minutes away from escaping the room, "he's so fun to tease—ow!"
"That's what you get! You deserve more than that so consider yourself lucky!"
Kira finally crept away. He smiled as he heard sounds of laughter and witty chatter echoing behind him.
–
In love with the Impossible, of course why not? Because love overcomes all impossibility. To love in itself is impossible.
END CHAPTER
Notes: Really long chappie, I know but it's to make up for the lack of updates... the next one is just as long. But the ones after that won't be as long and after chappie 14 it will landslide towards the epic end to this fanfic. I hope you guys can hang in til then... ^_^;
I drew a cover page for those who want to see check out the links on my profile page.
Because of Chap 14's length, I'll put a chunky preview from different parts within it. I finished writing it on paper, but there is still a tons of editing and revising to be done as well as typing that monstrosity on the computer... But I'll get it done as soon as I can. Thank so much for your support. You guys give me a lot of motivation to keep writing.
Preview - Chapter 14: The Faces Behind the Masks
Grim scratched his head, "Aren't you mad about what that fox put in our food?"
"I refuse to parade about like a stampede of wild animals after prey. Besides, my body is immune to certain chemicals."
"You mean!?"
"It didn't effect me."
"So?"
"What do you want to know?"
Halibel and Nnorita took their seats at the table. Grimmjow sat next to Ulquiorra.
"Did he do anything while we were knocked out?"
The atmosphere around the table was thick with silence. Rukia was in the kitchen out of earshot.
--
"Rukia," he repeated. He saw that the tears didn't fall, "I hava plan, kay? Do ya wanna hear it?"
She nodded earnestly.
"Tommorrow I'm going to drop you off at the manor before the crack of dawn to be with your onii-chan"
"Okay."
"For one week. One week only. I want you to get for me: [...]"
--
Yes, Ulquiorra Schiffer. His pale skin matching the bone white color of the moon that hung out in the sky. He was practically naked with only towel wrapped around his waist. He stared coldly in her direction, unfliched by her presence. Unsurpised in finding her there.
"I always take the osen at this hour," he simply stated.
Notes: There's a lot of Ulqui in this one! I tried to focus chap 14 of reveal a bit of the background of the others involved with the heist and reveal their motives. Any questions and comments please let me know! ^0^