20. (Have sex with Bruce on the couch.) Steve's jar nearly hit the floor, as he took in the sight of the naked men on the sofa. Tony reached down, pulling up a blanket to cover himself, and Bruce's face reddened, as he tried to apologize.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and heaving a sigh of frustration. "Really? On our couch? This is getting old."

21.(Have sex with Bruce in any place frequented by the other Avengers.) "Why does this keep happening to me?!" Steve practically wailed, as he and Thor walked in to find Bruce riding Tony on the soldier's favorite weight bench.

16. (Bring up the Club Incident.) "I still can't believe you got me kicked out of the club-"

"Tony."

"What were you thinking, giving Thor a handj-"

"Will you just drop it already?!"

"I can never go back there again!"

"It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't convinced Thor to wear leather pants!" There was silence for a moment.

"...Let's pretend I never said that."

"Can do."

29. (Carry a spray bottle, and spritz Thor and Steve when they get handsy in public.) Steve smiled, as one of Thor's arms slipped around his waist. The soldier tilted his head up, and Thor's lips pressed against his own, stubble lightly scraping the shorter blond's chin. The god pulled him closer, one hand moving down to Steve's- The moment was ruined by a spray of cold water hitting his face. He turned to the culprit, indignation written all over his features.

"What the hell, Stark?!"

"The press is onto us, Spangles. I thought you'd be more concerned about it."

"That gives you no right to try and prevent us showing our affection for one another, Tony."

"You'll be thanking me for this one day, Point Break. Do you want me to stand by while another Club Incident happens?"

"Yes."

"If you had done that to a couple on Asgard, you would already be donning a set of bruises."

"Can we go to Asgard, then?" Steve asked hopefully.

27. (Give Clint fuzzy handcuffs for his birthday.) Clint eagerly tore away the paper on the last package. This one was from Tony. The team was waiting in anticipation, since the billionaire had given no hint of what his present would be.

Clint opened the box, and pulled out...A pair of fuzzy handcuffs. The archer could only gape, while his team mates looked at Tony in disbelief.

"What? They're purple, doesn't Legolas like purple things? Stop looking at me like that...I'll go get the receipt.."

9. (Send everybody invitations to an orgy in the briefing room.) Natasha's eyebrows creased together, as she opened the bright red envelope. What could it possibly be... The red-head braced herself, as she pulled out a small piece of parchment.

You Are Cordially Invited To:

An Orgy

Place: Main Briefing Room

Time: 7:30 P.M, May 23

Save the date!

"You know what?" Natasha said aloud, though she was alone in the room. "I'm not even surprised anymore."