Yo Yo Yigity Yo!
Hi people this is Sakiko brining you (finally) an UPDATE! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Okay I am so sorry but as you already know; my computer got a humongous virus that completely screwed over my computer. Ugh, and you know the sad part is that I feel like a minority.
I'm the only PC user in my group of friends TT_TT
Ahhhhh, the calamity! So I am updating to you people via my husband's Mac computer. No offence to any Mac users but I really hate not knowing how to use this thing fluently. Ugh drives me crazy.
ANYWAYS. Here's the story, and do forgive me for any errors you might see I'm still not used to this thing.
And here we go!
ALSO!
a huge huge HUGE thank you to Imarmedanddangerous for helping me out in this chapter (YOUR AWSOME!)
Chapter 6 Ms. Bitters & Mr. Rankle
What did they mean do not go through the little door?
Zim blinked a few times, trying to process the information he just gathered.
Zim gripped the rose trimmers he had in his hand, trying hard just to ignore the message.
Zim looked up to see the old, grey Volkswagen bug his brothers owned.
Smiling slightly he cut the ropes using the rose trim, taking his waterproof bag from the top.
"Pur an' Red are sure going to be mad once they figure out their crap is wet, sheesh who in the right mind leaves their luggage on top of a car in the rain?"
Zim paused for a second thinking about what he just said to himself.
"Yeah, but I was smart enough to remember and to actually put my prized possession into a waterproof book bag! So there!" he mumbled to himself opening his book bag and revealing his most prized possession.
A grey and black military cap.
Smiling he placed the dry cap on his head, letting out a pleasing sigh as his antennae twitched through their custom made holes.
Heading towards the stairs that led to the basement flat, Zim knocked on the door. Feeling something at his feet, Zim looked down only to see a welcome mat that said something...stupid.
'No whistling in the house'
Lifting an invisible brow, Zim peered in through one of the doors glassy frames, trying desperately to see if someone was coming.
"AH!" Zim jumped backwards once the Scottie dogs started their frenzied woofing as they ran out into the hall and started jumping at the door.
After a while Mrs. Bitters opened the door, allowing the dogs to go ahead and pounce and sniff at Zim, yipping or growling with excitement.
They seemed to be very pleased with Zim's fearful reaction.
"Ew ew eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!" yelped Zim, trying desperately to avoid the dogs' slimy tongues and cold noses, cringing whenever they did manage to lick him.
"Oh cease your infernal yapping!" hissed Mrs. Bitters trying hard to hide an amused smirk.
The dog's soon silenced and started sniffing each other, going around Zim as they did so.
"Hello Ms. Bitters!" greeted Zim who was still looking at the dogs rather nervously.
"Oh hello Tim. Come inside, I think my foolish husband invited you?" said Ms. Bitters as the dogs started their little chatter once again," Angus, Hamish, Bruce, calm down now luvvies its only Tim," she said in a loving tone that was completely unnatural for a woman like her.
It was actually pretty disturbing.
Zim shuttered as she talked to her dogs.
Like always Mrs. Bitters was wearing that black dress of hers with the old black leather boots.
"Still Zim Mrs. Bitters" said Zim, taking off his purple raincoat and wiping his purple swampers on the welcome mat.
"Would you like some tea kid? It'll slim down that little gut you're growing, "said Ms. Bitters adjusting her glasses and snickering.
'ZIM IS NOT FAT! Zim is just...well rounded...okay...just one cup.' Thought Zim a little reluctantly.
"Yes, please," said Zim walking in. A small polite smile on his face.
"Slab! Put the kettle on! Come on boys, inside, shoo!" cried out Mrs. Bitters as she nabbed the dogs' collars and led Zim into the flat, disappearing behind a small curtain, almost like a shadow or a snake...
'She sure is scary," thought Zim taking off his purple raincoat.
Zim's antennae twitched as he sniffed the air, catching a scent.
The flat smelled of furniture polish and dog.
Plus the dust and humidity wasn't helping, so Zim smiled and stepped in shyly past the curtain not to seem rude.
The flat itself was left more to be desired.
The floor was made of old and creaky wood, slightly damp from the weather outside, while the walls were made of old concrete and brick.
On the walls were some college degrees, some old trophies, tons of books, costumes, make-up, black-and-white photographs of a pretty woman and a man, along with theater programs, such as 'Julius Sees-her' and 'King Leer' in frames, with the same couple in the front. Possibly Mr. Rankle and Mrs. Bitters when they were young.
'Age really changes you huh?' thought Zim looking at a picture of the younger versions of Mr. Rankle and Mrs. Bitters at their wedding.
'They looked so happy' thought the young irken as he tried to get to the couch.
The furniture was pressed close together making it difficult to maneuver and giving Zim a claustrophobic feeling despite the fact that the flat was actually the size of the first floor to his brothers' flat.
"Wait a sec-" said Zim.
He did a double take when he saw several shelves displaying trios of stuffed dogs, all wearing angel costumes.
"That's a... interesting decor choice. Are they...real?" Zim asked, gesturing towards the stuffed animals. How creepy is that?
After Mrs. Bitters finished calming her pets, she sat down on an armchair before looking to see what Zim was talking about.
"Hmm? Ah yes. That. Oh, my sweet wittle departed angels. Well I get so attached to these dogs," said Mrs. Bitters, pausing to scratch one of the Scotties between his ears. "I couldn't bear to part with them, so I had them stuffed. Their better than human company at least."
Zim only stared at the old woman before him as she started naming the dogs that had passed away.
It was freaky...
"Now, there's Hamish the third, the ninth, yes. The fourth, I'm right. And Jock Jr., Jock sr., Jock the third, the fourth, oh and that's Jocks second cousin thrice removed-"
"Lucille! I think something's in the house!"Interrupted a voice from the kitchen.
"Hello Mr. Rankle," said Zim, greeting the old mall cop.
Blinked in surprise as he walked into the living room or parlor as Mrs. Bitters liked to call it.
The old man was wearing an old worn out blue robe over his grey pajamas, with some fluffy green slippers on his feet.
"Oh really Slab, it's the new neighbor Tim," Said Mrs. Bitters scratching a dog's ears again.
"I thought it was Zeem," said Mr. Rankle scratching his chin.
"No you fool its Tim, TIM; he'll be having the Oolong tea." Said Mrs. Bitters.
"Actually my name is Zim, you know with a Z?" said Zim only to be ignored.
"No! Oh, no no. I'm sure he'd prefer jasmine!" Said Mr. Rankle walking back towards the kitchen.
"No, Oolong," said Mrs. Bitters annoyed.
"Ah, jasmine it is then!" Said Mr. Rankle, ignoring his annoyed wife completely.
In response she just face palmed and started rubbing her temples.
Zim couldn't help but smirk at this.
They poured him a cup of tea in a little pink bone china cup, with a saucer and a dry Garibaldi biscuit to go with it.
"So, Slab. As I was saying: you still have to admit, there's life in the old dog yet," said Mrs. Bitters scratching one of her dog's bellies.
"Lucille, dear, neither of us is as young as we were," said Mr. Rankle taking a sip of his tea.
"Madame Arcati," replied Mrs. Bitters. "The nurse in Romeo. Lady Bracknell. Character parts. They can't retire me from the stage."
Mr. Rankle rolled his eye, "Now, Lucy, we agreed," he grumbled.
Zim in the meantime wondered if they'd forgotten that he was there. They weren't making much sense; he decided they were having an argument as old and comfortable as an armchair, the kind of argument that no one ever really wins or loses but which can go on forever, if both parties are willing.
Zim just smiled and sipped his tea as Mr. Rankle placed a bowl of dull colored candy in front of him.
"Go on have one. Its hand pulled taffy from Brighton. Best in the world," said Mr. Rankle with a soft chuckle.
"So as I was saying I think you can still-"
Zim ignored Mrs. Bitters. Right now he was stuck in a predicament. Quite literally. Apparently when Zim took hold of the candy, the hundred-year-old candy just stuck to him like gum on a shoe.
Zim pushed on the plate, with his foot, falling on his back and pushing even harder.
*clunk*
"What was that?" asked Mrs. Bitters, who was interrupted from the argument.
Zim ignored her and quickly took a sip of his tea before the old couple could notice the bowl of candy that was stuck to the ceiling.
"I'll read them if you like,"
Zim looked up at Mr. Rankle.
"Read what?" Asked Zim, his antennae twitching with pure curiosity.
"Your tea leaves, son. They'll tell me your future. Drink up then. Go on," said Mr. Rankle, waving his hand.
Zim started gulping it down when-
"No, not all of it! Not all of it," said Mr. Rankle with a chuckle.
Smiling, Zim took a few more sips, leaving a little of the tea at the bottom of the cup. It sure was delicious.
"That's right, now hand it over," said Mr. Rankle taking the china cup from Zim's hands only to peer inside and shudder.
"Oh! Oh Tim! Tim, Tim, Tim! You are in terrible danger," said Mr. Rankle with a worried look passing his old features.
"Oh, Slab you old koot! Your scaring the boy, you know that's my job, now give me that cup Slab. Your eyes are going," growled Mrs. Bitters, getting up and taking the cup from Mr. Rankle.
"My eyes?" growled Mr. Rankle, annoyed," your blind as a bat."
"Oh now. Well, don't worry, Kid. It's good news, there's a tall Lovely beauty in your future," said Mrs. Bitters, snickering.
"A what?" asked Zim blushing from complete embarrassment.
"Oh Lucille, oh really. You're holding it wrong. See? Danger," said Mr. Rankle, holding the cup at an angle while he and Mrs. Bitters peered in.
"What do you see?" asked Zim, eyes wide with curiousness and worry.
"I see a very peculiar hand," said Mr. Rankle, a look of fear passing by his features as he stared at the cup.
"I see a giraffe," said Mrs. Bitters turning the cup at another angle.
"Giraffes don't just fall out of the sky Lucy!" said Mr. Rankle annoyed, waving his arms around to emphasize.
Only-
*CRAAAACK*
Apparently the bowl of hundred-year-old taffy had fallen to the floor with a frightening sound, causing the current beings in the room to jump or bark in fright and or surprise.
"OH!"
"Lord!"
Zim calmed down as he started to put the information together.
"Well, what should I do?"He asked looking up at his old neighbors.
"Never wear green in your dressing room," said Mr. Rankle, shoving Mrs. Bitters out of Zim's view, obviously trying to get Zim's full praise and attention.
"Acquire a very tall step ladder," said Mrs. Bitters shoving just to get back at him.
"And be very, very careful- OH!" cried Mr. Rankle toppling over due to Mrs. Bitters harsh shoving.
"Now, was there something you came to tell us?" said Mrs. Bitters chuckling malignantly at her husband.
Mr. Rankle only glared at her.
"No," said Zim, getting up from the couch "I guess not. Thanks for the tea, though," he sighed getting his coat and leaving the old basement.
"toodle-oo," said Mr. Rankle sitting down in an arm chair, only to shuffle cards.
"Cheery-by," sang Mrs. Bitters as Zim started to open the door.
As he walked out Zim could hear the one sentence that would cause him to shiver in utter fear.
"Do you have any nice queens for mummy?"
(Dog yips)
That lady sure was weird.
Well... This was not the best chapter I've written so far. Why? Because my computer is broken, my job just went up and now I'm attending college.
So as you can see my updates are going to be slower than usual.
That is truly upsetting.
I'm sorry for taking so long but I really hope this chapter isn't as crappy as I think it is.
Thank you so much and please review!
Jack: Also coming soon Spicer's secrets by daviantartsbiglover and Pearl!
Shut up jack.
Jack: REVIEW! Do it or I'll scream!
You did scream
Jack: then I'LL SCREAM LOUDER!
TT_TT