CYCLE OF RIN

By Lady JenDragon

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Author's Notes: …

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Changing Demons

Rin fell to her knees, her bulging tummy chaotic and roiling with anger at the prospect of final defeat. Yes, she understood the child's disappointment. The emotions were strong and immensely outraged. It was unusual to feel a child's emotion when in the womb yet. Did demon babies transfer their emotions during pregnancy?

Rin felt her chest heave at the notion that Sesshomaru lost. The child's turmoil was over…her father's defeat… Her? Yes, his first child would be female since he was male. That was in the legend. But…this child within her did not want another father. Nor did Rin want another demon lover. Of all the demons, Sesshomaru was the least likely to abuse, rape or kill her as other demons might.

As a child, Sesshomaru allowed her to travel with Jaken and him. At least until she was twelve. The lure of a female newly beginning the birthing years was too strong, even to a strong demon like Sesshomaru. To prevent temptation, Sesshomaru opted to abandon her one night. That abandonment led to her meeting the demon dragon on the road one rainy night, ending in a bite. The physical change from child to woman was torturous for her. She realized her hormones, infected by demon dragon blood and toxins, made her hate her former guardian.

Rin lifted her head hearing the claim of victory from Rasenaru. Still, she also knew that Sesshomaru wasn't dead yet. No victory was definitive. Sesshomaru would find a way to return for them. The child within her didn't like the idea of waiting. She was quite persistent that Rin go do something about this immediately.

"What?" She asked.

At that moment, she heard a far off child's voice in her mind.

"Mother?" The child's voice inquired. "Are you not a demonslayer?"

Rin knew the voice was in her mind, no one else appeared to have heard it.

Kagome and Sango were pinned down by smaller versions of Rasengan's battle dome. Their weapons were kept outside of their domes, out of reach. Miroku's Wind Tunnel had been useless against Rasenaru, how she didn't understand. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru attempted the Fang Cross but it failed. What did Rasenaru mean that Sesshomaru wasn't his father? Was something his father had be the key to successfully creating the Fang Cross?

Rin glanced around to look for Totosai. He had some explaining to do about this Fang Cross. Not that she expected much detail out of the old demon. He spoke in riddles and expected you to understand every silent word. When he yelled to Sesshomaru to use the Fang Cross, this raspy voice came from behind her. Where was that old fool lurking now?

Finding his cow grazing in the small part of the meadow not under the dome, Rin walked towards the dome's edge. One thing was for sure, they had all underestimated Rasenaru's abilities. He planned every detail of his confrontation with Sesshomaru. And with enough wiggle room to account for a misfit band of humans and a half-breed. Had he run what Kagome called "probabilities" before he launched his attack?

"I will not accept him!" Rin fisted her hands. "I refuse!"

That made her feel a little better. She skidded to a halt when a form flashed before her. Backing away from Rasenaru, Rin realized he had come for his prize.

"Stay away from me!" She ordered.

"Come now." Rasenaru smiled curtly. "I have beaten Sesshomaru fair and square. Even his little band of humans couldn't deter me from my goal."

He lunged for her arm. Rin easily dodged him, thinking what could she do first to show him he was rejected? The legend of the Demon Bearer never mentioned that a bearer could reject a victorious demon.

"You are human." The child voice responded. "Demon Bearers of the past were half-demons."

Subconsciously, she remembered this fact. She was indeed human. Rin realized that the legend may not apply to her in all areas. Could she choose the demon father of her child? Was it possible that she could reject Rasenaru even if he had defeated Sesshomaru in battle? Rob him of his victory? Either way, if Rasenaru wanted her, he'd have to fight her.

"Had you not chosen Sesshomaru before you became a bearer of a demon?" The child voice challenged. "Father cares for you."

"What would you know?" Rin hissed softly then blinked in surprise at the child knowing anything about her emotions. "…you aren't even born yet."

Rasenaru watched the human backing away from him. "Playing hard to get, Demon Bearer?"

Rin shook her head unable to concentrate. "You're not getting anything!"

Why couldn't she think straight? No matter how she looked at the situation…it was a mess! There were no weapons remotely close to her. Why did her mind feel so clouded? This was so unlike her.

Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, and Sesshomaru were pinned down. Their weapons were scattered everywhere. How would she be able to defeat Rasenaru, if she had remembered to bring her Kotsu weapons, when he had defeated each of them so quickly?

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Kagome watched Rasenaru approach Rin, who appeared to be looking for Totosai where they last knew him to be located. But Rasenaru got in the way. Rin backed away from him not really seeing the demon at all. She appeared confused, as if she was concussed. That happened a year ago so she knew what the signs were. Rin was out of it for a week with headaches and light-sensitivity.

"Come on!" Kagome cheered Rin on softly. "Remember your training!"

Sango looked to Kagome and asked in a loud enough voice. "What's wrong with Rin?"

Kagome knew something was happening but she didn't know what. "I don't know." She glanced over at Inuyasha perplexed by Rin's behavior. "It's scaring me though. I've never seen her act like this."

The answer came from an unlikely source. "Rin is fighting the transfer between demons." Sesshomaru stated evenly, remaining on his back.

Inuyasha growled, being the nearest to Sesshomaru. "You're going to just lay there and let him take Rin?!" He wanted to strangle Sesshomaru at the moment. "You bastard! You did this to her!"

Sesshomaru understood his role in Rin's life was ending despite his effort. Regardless of the fact that the Fang Cross failed, he did not understand why Rasenaru allowed him to live. It was true, this Sesshomaru underestimated Rasenaru and his ability. Rasenaru had planned and executed an attack that would make him victorious over Sesshomaru. However, this plan took thousands of years to manipulate and coordinate. How did he manage to learn modern knowledge if he was trapped within Rasengan?

Rasenaru thrust his hands forward, gripping the Demon Bearer, binding her arms to her body, her legs frozen in paralysis. He watched her drop to the ground softly. Not that he had any intention of sparing the human from a true mating with a demon. She had already experienced one demon lover. Now she would come to know him. Walking over to the woman, now unconscious, he peered at her face and found the human remarkably beautiful.

"Ironic." Rasenaru looked to Sesshomaru still on his back. "Sesshomaru captured a demonslayer who will now bear demons." He shook his head. "No wonder you're acting all confused."

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Rin found comfort when she slept. But this was not "sleep". Her mind shut her brain off to give her the time she needed to concentrate on her dilemma. The rock on the ground beneath her head also afforded her this moment. That would hurt later.

Herykotsu, seals, the bow and arrows, Tetsusaiga, these were the weapons available to her. She couldn't pick up Tenseiga. One had to be a demon to handle the sword. Tokijin was specially made for Sesshomaru and would not respond to her anyway.

"The Fang Cross." Her child spoke.

"It didn't work." Rin didn't know how to use the Fang Cross anyway.

"Father failed in his part." The child sounded so serene. "He knows this and understands his failure to you."

"What?" Rin felt alarmed that something Inuyasha forced the failure of the Fang Cross.

"Father's father knew that to defeat one's enemy, the very reason for battle is based on the emotion associated with the purpose of the battle."

Rin replied acidly. "Demons are without emotion."

"Father hides his emotions." Her child stated. "Have you not enjoyed your physical contact with father?"

"That has nothing to do with 'want'." Rin didn't want to admit to anything to a child, even a demon child. "I was forced to have those contacts with him."

Memories of their encounters flashed in her mind, reminding her of those passions she told herself weren't hers. Yes, Sesshomaru had displayed moments of tenderness towards her. But that was because…he was…called upon by the Cycle…she had…needed to…Rin was at a loss to explain his actions. But they were…well, those emotions were…oh she didn't know what they were!

"Do you love father, mother?" The question was simple.

Rin felt her heart pause, her throat suddenly dried out, her chest heaved, her pulse frozen. The blood in her veins turned cold…then a ravage heat overwhelmed her. Her pulse quickened, her heart felt like it would pound out of her chest on its own, tears began to form, hearing her own crying in her ears.

Was this the simple answer? In her mind, the answer was just that simple. She struggled with her true emotions trying to find every way out of them. Every action and every in-action he failed to perform was used against him. It was a war she wanted so much to win…tried desperately to win…and still lost. Sesshomaru had been in her heart since her childhood…and never left.

"Yes…" Rin breathed not believing her answer despite speaking the words.

Her chest lightened, the tears stopped streaming, and the admittance of her pent up reluctance suddenly freed her. But in that moment, she also knew Sesshomaru well enough that she was just a human. It would always be her worst trait.

Rin sighed, her heart sinking. "But Sesshomaru will never accept love from me."

"Father already has." The child stated.

"How do you know all this?" Rin needed to know, a glimmer of hope suddenly sparked.

"As a demon, I will be born with the knowledge father already possesses." Her child sounded pleased with her mother. "I am capable of reading his emotions when he is near or holding you. Each time he has made physical contact, I read his true emotions." She paused. "I will lose this ability when I am born."

Rin said nothing suddenly she was drawn towards the light.