Chapter Two: The Doctor
He was beginning to fall apart. It was a new, strange feeling, his last regeneration had been so stoic. All of his emotions barricaded behind that ridiculous grin. His hearts began to thump faster and he looked around the room, his confidence shattering. There would be no winning, in this. No matter what he decided, no matter what path he chose, he would lose. He could save Reinette, and be trapped in France, losing the TARDIS, the last he had of home, and Rose. He could leave Reinette, but he would be breaking a promise and rewriting time. He didn't know what could happen, it wasn't exactly a fixed point in time. But after the incident with the reapers, he wasn't sure he wanted to find out.
He ran around the console, flipping switches and pushing buttons, trying to shut out his emotions. He fixated his eyes on the monitor and mentally recited the periodic table of elements. Adrenaline surged through him, fueled by a fear that he hadn't felt in quite awhile. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. No rational decision could be made until he could think clearly.
Mickey was staring at him. The Doctor could feel his eyes boring into him, the intensity of his unvoiced question threatening him. He was being evaluated, he realized. He was the man that had replaced Mickey and now Mickey was watching him, judging him in the moment. He wanted to yell or throw something at him. Didn't he understand what he was facing, right now? He almost laughed at that. Poor short sighted Mickey couldn't understand, it would be too much for him. He sighed, there he went again, insulting people, when it was his own fault that Mickey was even there. Rose had told him no, but he allowed him anyway.
Rose. He'd be abandoning Rose. He could always find a way back to the TARDIS, he'd have enough time, but Rose would be stuck. Left on a spaceship billions of years in her future, with a useless boyfriend. Somehow he knew that she'd understand, but it didn't make him feel any less guilty. It made him feel worse even, that he'd even brought her to this in the first place.
Reinette was waiting for him, expecting him. Because he promised. He admired her, she was brilliant. In her day and age, women could hardly read, let alone think for themselves. Yet here she was, the most important woman in all of France. She had ambition, cleverness and she had seen his mind. She knew how lonely he was, and that intrigued him.
A cold hand settled hesitantly over his and he looked up sharply. There she was, looking so forlorn and frightened, underneath this false bravery she put on for him. He remembered in that moment something she'd said to him after their trip to the end of the earth. He had just finished telling her about the destruction of his people, and she had looked up, a sudden certainty in her eyes.
"There's me." she'd said. And she hadn't left since. Now here he was, lamenting over someone who'd read his mind, when Rose had been reading it since the beginning.
"Go." his jaw dropped. "she's waiting for you." she said.
As he looked away from her his decision became crystal clear. He wasn't going to abandon her, he would find a way back. Hope bubbled up in him at that thought and he snapped his mouth shut. He would save the day, return and be back sailing the stars with Rose, before Jackie could even get her kettle out.
"Wait for me, I'm coming back." the words came out easily, and he believed them. He searched her eyes, hoping that she'd see. See that he did mean them and he was going to do everything in his power to come back. Her slight nod satisfied him and he hurriedly pushed away, his usual confidence beginning to return. He had Arthur, and he'd make a grand entrance. He took a deep breath and galloped forward.