A/N: Oh, the plot thickens! ;) Hope I didn't lose too many readers with all the dark stuff, but everybody has a story, and Sheldon's is important to tell…

Your feedback/favorites/follows mean everything to me! Thanks for sticking with me, guys. The best is yet to come-I won't let you down. Enjoy chapter 5!

Sixteen years earlier.

"Oh, shit. Oh, shit shit shit." Junior kept his eyes on his left hand, the small pocket between his thumb and index finger where a hot splash of crimson had stained his skin. It was scalding and it didn't belong to him. He kept repeating the only two words that would form in his brain and leave his lips, a mantra that kept him grounded after his world was just tossed around and flipped upside down. "Oh, shit."

Marky spat at the ground and tossed the bat on the motionless lump of a person that used to be Abel. After the connecting of the bat to his skull, he had slumped to the dirt, a pillow of dust surrounded him before falling lifeless around him. His knees jerked for a few seconds and they came up to his chest, like he was settling into the fetal position for a nice, long nap. His breath rattled; each inhale was a labor. At least he was still breathing. Junior looked down and saw that the crimson on his own hand had come from the gash open on the side of Abel's head, and he knew that he wouldn't be breathing for long if they didn't call for help. The blonde guy that Marky had head-butt earlier was beginning to stir from his prone position in the grass.

"Oh, shit," Junior repeated. Suddenly, a strange siren sounded in the distance, a wailing that caused drops of cold sweat to race down Junior's back. What kind of siren made that noise? "Shit…"

"Shut the fuck up, bro!" Marky bellowed, his eyes on Junior. His voice sounded muddy, watered down. Junior's eyes snapped up and he looked at his best friend like it was the first time he had ever seen him.

"What did you do, man?" Junior's heart pounded in time with the siren as it wailed on.

"Me?" Marky pointed a finger at his own chest, jabbing himself in the center of his ribcage. "You're gonna pin this all on me?" He opened his mouth to say more, but stopped and turned around, his large hands on his hips. "What the fuck is that? Screaming?"

Junior's senses were suddenly razor sharp and he nearly snapped his neck as he turned to face the barn. The wailing got quieter, further away. "Sheldon!" He took off in the direction of the noise, the horrible, agonizing screams of a boy who should never have been there in the first place. "Sheldon, come back!" For once, he was grateful for the set of lungs on his little brother; he used to cringe as a kid after he swiped a toy away from a toddling Sheldon who would in turn shriek like a banshee until his mother came to rescue him. He had hated that noise back then like nails on a chalkboard. But now this was the only navigation he had to find his brother. "Where are you, Shelly?"

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine." Saliva and small morsels of vomit dribbled from his lower lip. He reeled back and produced one last spit then wiped the remains from his face. He flipped over onto his back and attempted to anchor himself to the axis of the earth. As it raced in rotation, things were happening that Sheldon couldn't control. But when he looked up and blinked away the tears that coated his pupils, they seeped out and the sky became clearer. He felt at one with the universe. In this part of town, there were no tall buildings and big city lights. When he looked up, there was only a dark purple mass, brilliantly ignited by the universe's jewels known as stars. He sighed in content. "You make me happy when skies are gray." Singing along with Meemaw's voice in his head helped drown out the cracking noise of the splinters in the wood that made contact with Abel's head just moments before.

"Sheldon!"

"You'll never know dear, how much I love you…"

"Sheldon, oh my, God! Are you okay?"

Sheldon felt rather than heard Junior collapse next to him on his knees, and then the subsequent shaking of his shoulders to grab his attention. "Shh, Junior," Sheldon pleaded for silence. For the majesty of what the universe provided for him, for all, it required silence.

"Little brother, we've gotta go. Come on, get up." Junior was beginning to yank on Sheldon's arm, placing a hand under his back and urging him to rise.

"Nasty, is that puke?" Marky's voice suddenly invaded Sheldon's ears, causing him to stop singing. Like a filmstrip derailing from its projection spools, the beauty of the stars and the cosmos combusted and the picture melted away. Sheldon slowly rose into a sitting position as Junior's worried face came into view, his mouth open as he struggled to regain his breath. Then Sheldon's eyes focused on Marky.

"The probability that you killed that man is extremely high," Sheldon accused, his eyes glassy.

"You spying little shit," Marky began but was cut off when Junior jumped up from his spot in the dirt near Sheldon and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"You never talk to him like that," Junior snarled, spittle flying from his lips and landing on Marky's red face. Sheldon winced. So many germs exchanged between so many people tonight. While the two older men scuffled, Sheldon felt a shell begin to materialize over him, spanning over every square inch of his skin, hardening and tightening. The shell chased his initial fear and anxiety away. He watched his brother have a power struggle with a man his size as they rolled around in the grass, cursing and fists flying. Then he looked back up at the stars as the shell completed its exterior around him. As his new layer of protection enveloped him, he could feel that the 17 year-old child he was only hours ago was safe, forever enclosed inside his shielded covering.

This world is dangerous.

"You and your Rainman brother got another thing coming if you think you're gonna pin all of this on me, George," Marky gasped as he and Junior finally separated, staring at each other from their respective corners. "I fucking own you."

"I never, ever said to try and kill the guy," Junior protested, his fists digging into the dirt beneath him. "This is not what I agreed to, Marky, goddamnit."

Sheldon rose to his feet, dusted off his pants, then walked over to where the two men were on their hands and knees, spitting out blood and wiping sweat from their swollen, bruised faces. He stared down at his brother with empty eyes, the moonlight reflecting off of his pupils and giving them a silver effect, like coins. He imagined the sight may have startled Junior because his brother fell back on his heels and peered up at Sheldon, looking uncomfortable. "Junior," he began in his calm, signature voice. His hands were clasped behind him at the base of his spine again, a collected Sheldon stance. "Are you quite done here? I'm ready to return home."

The two older men stared at Sheldon like he had grown another head. Junior wiped his palms on his jeans then cleared his throat. "Uh, Sheldon. Are you okay?"

"I'm experience mild discomfort in my throat, onset by my vomiting just a few minutes ago, but other than that, I'm far better than the man your friend just clobbered like a Neanderthal. Now, can we go?"

"Sheldon," Junior said, bewildered. "I want you to know that I had no idea that was going to happen."

"Fuck you," Marky groaned from a few feet away, attempting to rise to his feet. "You've helped me rough up some assholes who didn't want to pay us before."

Junior ignored him as he got up and reached out to Sheldon to rest a hand on his shoulder. He pulled back when Sheldon dodged the contact, his eyes still silver, defiant. "Sheldon, I'm not going to hurt you."

"I said I'm ready to go."

"Alright," Junior agreed, his eyebrows furrowing. "Let's go." He headed in the direction of the cars while Sheldon followed closely behind.

"So you're just gonna leave me to clean up the mess again, huh?" Marky called from where he was standing. The two brothers pivoted to face him. His eyebrow, a fiery red the same as the hair on his head, was bleeding profusely. "I'm always the clean-up crew."

"This is your mess, Marky," Junior said. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore. You've got my little brother involved, and I can't allow that."

"I fucking own you, didn't you hear me?" A throaty laugh bubbled out of Marky's mouth before he spit out a blood-stained glob of saliva. "You fight for me. You walk away now, and you're fucking with my money." He paused for effect, nodding his head in the direction where Abel laid. "You saw what happens when people fuck with my money." He pointedly glanced at Sheldon. "And you promised me that Shelly here would help us make more. So by association, I guess that means I own him, too."

Junior's breathing picked up. He gasped for breath, his body shaking in anger. Sheldon processed Marky's information and then he looked sideways at his brother. The memory of earlier that night, the two of them sitting at the kitchen table while Junior opened his big blue eyes wide and pleaded for Sheldon to join him tonight so that they could 'spend some time together' taunted him. He knew Junior was a lot more cunning than he lead everyone to believe. And Sheldon was suckered in. "What does owning me entail, Marky?" Sheldon asked in a stern tone.

"It means you scout out the fights that will make me the most money until I'm through with you. And if you and your brother don't get on the same page with me about what happened here tonight, and I mean real fast, then we're going to have some problems."

Present day.

Penny had seen Sheldon make this face before.

Crossed arms over his dark blue Superman shirt and green long-sleeved thermal, feet together, knees locked in a pair of khaki slacks, and his head ever so slightly leaning forward. His eyebrows were perched so high in expectation she thought they were in danger of flying off of his face. Sheldon had once made this expression at her, when he nearly condemned their friendship for good after she made him miss the opportunity for meeting Stan Lee while he had to pay a traffic ticket. It didn't feel great being on that end of Sheldon's death stare, but George Jr. seemed to be taking it alright. He was a stark contrast to the piles of books and Star Trek-y thingies on the shelves behind him, but he looked more at home than anything, comfortably resting his ankle on the opposite knee as the moments of silence since Sheldon asked him what he was doing there ticked by.

"How long will you be staying? What is the purpose of your visit? And the most essential: how can I get you to leave me alone for good?"

"Well?" Sheldon was high strung and it put Penny on edge as well. The brilliant physicist looked very close to leaping over the coffee table, the only flimsy piece of furniture between him and his brother, and clobbering him. His elbows were razor sharp as they pointed out, his arms closed tight around his chest. She yearned to say something, do something, anything that would relax him. But she couldn't make a sound; the tension was suffocating.

"Penny, darlin'," George Jr. finally spoke. "You mind leaving me and my baby brother alone? Apparently we have some things to discuss." His signature smile was plastered on his face, and Penny was beginning to see how hard he worked to keep up such an easy-going appearance. In the harsh lights of the apartment, she could make out that at the corners of his ocean-colored eyes were the barely-there hints of crow's feet and just beneath them were the dark shades of bags beneath his lids.

"Not on your life," Penny said flatly at the same time Sheldon said, "She stays." She snuck a look at her friend, unable to mask her surprise. She half-expected Sheldon to agree that she should go (not that she wouldn't have put up a hell of a fight). It was odd feeling this tether to Sheldon, this inexplicable need to hover over him in the presence of his brother. Penny would truly like to think that this was a reaction she would have over any of her friends, over Leonard. But at this moment, she only saw the friend she had in front of her.

George Jr. finally stood up and stretched to his full height, crossing his arms in front of him. He was a grungy, bulky reflection of Sheldon as they stared each other down. "I don't want anyone in our business that doesn't have to be, you understand what I'm saying to you, Shelly?" His lips pursed and Penny realized she had seen that face before, too; it was the face of someone losing their patience with Sheldon Cooper. He turned his body so that he was looking at Penny and said, "It'd be safer for you if you'd just run along now."

To Penny's alarm, she saw Sheldon tremble, his slender frame almost vibrating. Penny felt rage building inside of her as it became too much to watch him become undone. It took a lot for a person to make Sheldon squirm in discomfort being that he walked around with a constant air of superiority that was a brand all his own, but George Jr. seemed to be an expert in knowing which buttons to push that would bring Sheldon to his metaphorical knees. Penny quite frankly had had enough.

"Listen, asshole, you don't scare me." She took a step closer to the couch, her eyes narrowed and focused on George Jr.'s face. Penny's father raised a scrappy little girl, almost foolishly so, and sometimes she had trouble distinguishing which fights she could finish and which she shouldn't even bother to start. But between Sheldon's brother stopping by when he clearly wasn't welcome, and his back-handed threat to her, the Omaha All City Junior Rodeo first place ribbon winner two years in a row, she had no reservations offering a threat of her own to the large man. "If you're going to stay here, you'd better get used to my face because I'm not going anywhere."

There they were, in a classic three-way stare off. A Nebraskan lion of a woman. A good ol' boy from Texas. And his little brother, who didn't seem so little anymore. A triad of arms crossed and eyes tight.

Finally, Sheldon broke the silence. "What do you want, Junior?" It seemed as though he were a broken record, asking the same question over and over again. His tone suddenly took on a resigned, almost pleading manner.

George Jr. stared hard at Penny, then sideways at Sheldon before he finally uncrossed his own arms and brought one of his hands to the back of his neck, rubbing it slowly. The other hand grabbed the waist of jeans and pulled them up a fraction. He was stalling. Finally, his limbs swung low at his sides and he looked away from his brother, staring anywhere but him. "I'm sorry Shelly. If there was another way to do this, I would've done it. But I need you, one more time."

"I told you eight years ago that I was finished."

"And I told you there is no other way. This will be the last time, you have my word…" George Jr. paused, pointedly staring at Penny before finishing. "You're all I have." A spark of resentment crossed his features before he tore his eyes away from Penny, as if it maddened him to be so honest in front of her. Like it was her fault he was showing weakness. Penny had once been into this type of man; the gorilla-sized, quick-talking, who-gives-a-shit? attitude type. The sort of man that constantly needed excuses to be made for him so that he could get by on his good looks and fake charm. She suddenly hated George Jr. In an attempt to relax, she eased the tension in her shoulders a little bit, her Cheesecake Factory uniform suddenly feeling disheveled and she craved a relaxing bubble bath. Rolling her neck around, she snuck another glance at Sheldon. Penny reminded herself that her job here was to help him in any way she could, but it didn't seem like George Jr. was going to make his point while she just stood there. She took pity on him for Sheldon's sake, and excused herself to the kitchen.

"Sheldon, I'm going to make some tea. I'll be right behind you if you need me." She ignored the scoff that George Jr. did not try hard to conceal, and she made her way to Sheldon. She placed a flat palm on the center of his chest, and only then did his face soften and his eyes detach from the death glare he had been giving his brother all night. They landed on Penny's face, searching her for something she didn't know. She wasn't sure where all of these sudden urges to touch him were coming from, but she wanted him to know that she was within his reach. He seemed to appreciate it, and he nodded stiffly, his eyes never leaving her face.

"Thank you, Penny," he whispered, swallowing hard. He never shifted away to remove himself from under her touch, and it wasn't lost on Penny how he infinitesimally leaned into her hand. A swirling, warm feeling evolved in her abdomen and she removed her hand before heading to the sink to fill the kettle with water.

George Jr. let out a low whistle. "Quite a girlfriend you've got yourself there, Shelly." Neither of them corrected him. Penny's face was suddenly hot as she listened from the kitchen.

"Stop filibustering and continue with your point. How can I be sure this will be the last time you need me to help you? How do I know by offering my services, you won't show up on my doorstep in another decade?" Sheldon had begun to pace back and forth between his work desk and his whiteboard, covering a lot of area with only one or two strides.

"Because I'm fighting Marky."

Sheldon had come to rest. Penny had turned away from the boiling kettle on the stovetop and watched him carefully. His chest had begun to rise and lower more quickly, his bottom lip quivered. He balled his fists at his sides and Penny watched in rising panic as he drew in loud, ragged breaths. "Sheldon, are you okay?" He ignored her and she almost went to him, but he whirled around and met George Jr.'s eyes evenly.

"This will be the last time you need me." His voice lowered ominously. "Because one of you is going to die."

"Kill him or die trying, little brother," George Jr. confirmed in a composed southern drawl, nodding his head.

Penny grabbed onto the table in front of her for support as her equilibrium wavered.

"No matter what you hear tonight, no matter what you see, can you try not to think differently of me?"

Sixteen years earlier.

The plan was in motion. Sheldon watched from afar without a hint of feeling as they returned to the section of the field where they had left Abel and the blonde kid, but the latter was gone.

"He left his friend here to die," Junior choked out. Sheldon watched as Marky picked up the bat he had wielded not minutes before and wiped it furiously with the inside of his shirt to hide evidence of his fingerprints.

"You'll want to use fabric that doesn't have your disgusting sweat and DNA on it," Sheldon heard a voice call out. It took him a moment to register that it was his own voice. Marky turned to look at him before searching around frantically for something else to wipe the bat with. He reached into the nearest car's open window and found a plain red sweatshirt and began to wipe the bat down again.

"Sheldon, you can walk to the car now and wait for us." Junior had come up behind Sheldon and talked slowly and deliberately. "You had nothing to do with this, you can walk away."

"Marky made it clear that I can do no such thing," Sheldon said, his voice stony. "In fact he said that if I leave his sight, he'll assume I went to the cops. And if I go to the cops, he'll kill our mother and Missy." Turning to face his older brother, Sheldon's face was as empty as he felt. He could feel nothing. His shell was protecting him. "Is that a risk you're willing to take?"

"Sheldon," Junior started, then shook his head and looked at the sky. Sheldon watched one lone tear fall from his right eye and disappear into his beard. "I don't know how I can ever do right by you again."

"You can't," Sheldon replied simply. He pulled the hand sanitizer from his jacket pocket and poured the liquid into his hands. Then he added, "But I'll help you both scout contenders to fight. I'll come back to Texas every few months until my lecture circuit in Germany is done, and then I'll move home."

"You will?" Junior's voice wavered, threatening to crack. "Why?"

"It has long eluded me the need to depend on others, and I don't suppose I'll ever understand it." Sheldon rubbed his palms together until the lemon-fresh scent of the soap filled his nostrils again. He stared down at his hands as they air-dried. "But if the lives of my mother and sister have fallen upon my shoulders, then I will answer the call of duty." When his hands were dry, he looked up and met Junior's eyes. "And that's why I'll never be more like George Cooper than you."

They stared at each other in silence until Marky jogged over to them. "Let's go," he grunted. "That pussy that left his friend here is probably halfway back to Harvard by now. He won't rat us out either—if his daddy ever found out where he was tonight, he'd take away the Porche."

"And Abel?" Junior asked. "We just leaving him here?"

"Yeah, we're just leaving him here. I don't know the guy." Marky rolled his eyes. "What, you wanna take him to the hospital?" When Junior didn't respond, Marky pushed him angrily. "Stick to the plan, George. We all leave and go home, right now, before anyone comes out here and sees us." He turned his back on Junior to meet Sheldon's eyes. "Tomorrow we come back to watch the fights so we can scout us some fighters. Got it?" Without waiting for either of them to answer, Marky slipped between them and disappeared into the night.

"Take me home, Junior," Sheldon said quietly. The two brothers walked silently back to their mother's station wagon, started the engine, and bounced around in the cab as they made their way out of the uneven field.

Later that night, after a shower of boiling temperatures, Sheldon lay in bed. He had to share a room with Junior, but he was relieved to see that after they arrived home, Junior had taken off on foot somewhere around their property. Sheldon never knew where he went that night but was only grateful that for three hours, he was allowed to stare at the ceiling in peace until sleep overcame him just as the first rays of dawn snuck into the room from behind the drapes.

Present day.

"You're fighting him here?" Sheldon asked. He was fully aware that Penny was still there. He couldn't tell at the moment if it made him feel relieved or anxious. With her there, he felt his impenetrable shell begin to crack. The one constant Dr. Sheldon Cooper had been so successful in maintaining, his ability to distance himself from others just enough to keep the past behind him, was beginning to dissolve. He liked to imagine his tightly coiled existence in his cozy apartment and at Caltech like a double-helix bond, the nitrogen bases connected and the sugar phosphate backbones sturdy because of his eye for detail and order (from his bathroom schedule to his scheduled date nights with Amy to what shirt he wore on what weekday). He never colored outside of the lines. Now it felt like it was all unraveling. But knowing Penny was there and would finally know the story calmed him in a most peculiar way.

"Yeah…" Junior turned away and began to pace between the small space between the arm chair and the front door. "I heard he moved out here a couple of years ago, slummin' it in East Hollywood. He trains at a gym there and my connects gave me a call to come in and handle it."

They were quiet for a moment before Sheldon finally released the cross-armed position he had been holding for what seemed like hours, relaxing his arms at his sides. "You don't have to do this." His voice was soft as he experienced a rare outpouring of fear for his brother. "Why haven't you walked away from it all? Like I did?" He watched his brother stop pacing and stare at the wall that held he and Leonard's Game of Thrones sword.

"You sure did walk away, Shelly." Junior's voice was barely able to contain its bitterness. "It's not that easy for me." He turned and faced Sheldon. "I'm not some genius with the good sense to leave the backwoods of east Texas behind. I've tried doing something else, being someone else. But I am a fighter. And I'm sorry that I've dragged you into situations that you shouldn't have been in, I wished to God it had been different. But you and I both know that Marky has got this comin'."

"You…" Sheldon was at a loss for words because Marky did have it coming. "You've got to let me think about this before I commit to anything, Junior." Without knowing why, Sheldon turned around and finally faced Penny. She stood motionless, the stove turned off and the kettle for the tea long forgotten. Her golden hair settled in loose waves around her face that had paled visibly. Even with his vast inaptitude for emotional capacity, Sheldon could read the look on Penny's face from a mile away: fear. "Penny?" He wanted to make sure she was doing as she promised which was not to think differently of him. Not yet, not when so much was still left to be said.

As if understanding him, she opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Sheldon watched her look down at her hands that were flat on the table in front of her before she finally looked up again and nodded mutely.

"Listen," Junior said, causing Sheldon to look at him. His hands worried the tail of shirt as he looked at Sheldon with a long face. "I want you to know I never meant to…" He stopped, staring over Sheldon's shoulder at the woman who stood behind them. "All those years ago…I still hate that I got you involved. And I hate what I've done to you. None of that wasn't supposed to happen."

"Things are never supposed to happen to you, are they Junior?" Sheldon asked in a mocking tone. He felt his chest puff out as he inhaled and exhaled, advancing on his older brother. "Unfortunate events just happens wherever you go, and it's never your fault." He found himself within inches of Junior, looking at him straight in the eye. Years of suppressed rage and fear began to pour over him in waves. The scared 17 year-old kid still enclosed in the protective shell was banging to get out. Suddenly, the edges of Sheldon's vision began to blur with a shade of red. His brain processed his vitals at an alarming rate, noting the elevation in his blood pressure, the increase in his core body temperature, the adrenaline pumping through his veins like microscopic geysers erupting into his blood stream. He wanted to feel Junior's bones break beneath his hands. And what was worse, Junior didn't look even kind of close to stopping him. Before he could think about what to do next, Sheldon smelled a familiar vanilla scented fragrance and felt a rush of cool air before the silky soft touch of a hand on his arm.

"Sheldon."

At her touch, Sheldon broke his stare with Junior. A lump in his throat formed as Penny's figure came into view.

"Come talk to me," she insisted, staring into Sheldon's eyes. He felt a sudden rush of vertigo, the blood pressure no doubt plummeting to return to normal. He allowed her to hold onto him and lead him away from the apartment. They stopped at the open door before Penny turned and gave one long scathing stare at Junior. "Don't touch anything. We'll be back in a minute." Then she pulled Sheldon the rest of the way into her apartment. When the door was closed she stayed facing it for a long time. Behind her Sheldon found himself studying her back, not trusting himself to speak yet. "Sheldon, what happened all of those years ago?" Penny finally turned and made her way over to the couch. She brushed past him and he closed his eyes as her fragrance filled his nostrils.

"I can't." Sheldon opened his eyes slowly and looked down at her, his body hunched forward and his fists clenched by his sides. "I can't, Penny."

"Talk to me," Penny pleaded, placing one hand on her lap and the other on the couch cushion beside her. Sheldon watched her hand rub the seat back and forth but he made no move to join her.

"There are things about me that no one knows," he said softly. "Things that no one was ever supposed to find out so that I could maintain a certain peace while I live my life. Junior showing up on our door step disrupts that peace." His mind suddenly changed directions when he looked up and saw three empty beer bottles lined up on Penny's kitchen counter. "I'm sorry that I was cruel to you last night." His sudden apology seemed to have caught his friend off guard, but she quickly recovered and revealed a small smile. His breath caught in his throat at the sight.

"To be honest," Penny gave a little laugh. "I kind of miss that Sheldon. The condescending jerk of a neighbor who insists on correcting my grammar and telling me to chew with my mouth closed." She stopped rubbing the couch and leaned back, placing both hands in her lap. "This Sheldon is scaring me."

"Is it because of what you heard?" Sheldon asked as he took a step closer to Penny, just shy of the couch.

"No." She shook her head. "It's because I feel like you're disappearing. Like if I leave the room for even a second, when I come back you won't be there anymore." Her breathing hitched and she looked down at her knees. "I can't explain this feeling, Sheldon, except, I can't not be near you now." Once again, Sheldon marveled at the appealing stain of blush that appeared at the tips of her ears and sides of her face. It was absolutely fascinating.

"I oddly feel the same," he murmured before he could stop himself. Sheldon lowered his weight onto the couch next to Penny. His fingers were humming like dormant energy waiting to be burned, so he cracked a tiny hole into his exterior shell and allowed himself to swipe at Penny's palm. Unsure if he should let it rest there, his long fingers hovered over her folded hands that were still in her lap. He hadn't willingly touched anyone in an intimate manner in so long (save for the two different outbursts where he felt compelled to hug Penny and the occasional hearty pat on Amy's back when he felt particularly grateful for her company). But with Penny sitting close to him, her plump lips shaped in an O of surprise at his behavior, he felt himself wanting to touch her again. So he bit the inside of his cheek and lowered his fingers onto hers, giving them both something to hold onto. A few seconds went by before he spoke again. "I want to tell you everything."

"Go ahead," she breathed. Penny was now sitting erect, and her rapt attention made Sheldon slightly unsure. As if sensing his hesitance, Penny rubbed a small circle on Sheldon's hand in hers with her thumb. "I promise not to think differently of you. You're one of my closest friends," Penny cleared her throat, unable to meet his eye suddenly. "And I care about you. If telling me the truth means you won't disappear, then I'm ready to hear it." She waited quietly as Sheldon gathered his thoughts. He looked her over once then turned and stared at the door, knowing that just beyond that was the broken elevator, then his door, then his apartment where his brother was waiting for an answer.

Then it all came tumbling out. "Sixteen years ago, I witnessed my brother and his friend at the time, Marky, beat a man into a coma. He ended up recovering, but lost his memory and significant cognitive functions." He paused, peered into Penny's eyes for any hint of reprove, but found none, so he continued. "The man, Marky, was a drug-fueled addict with a penchant for throwing sports events and gambling. He and my brother met while my brother was also battling addiction, and though he became clean, Marky got worse. They both began to train for underground boxing and mixed-marital arts matches, and when Marky became impressed with Junior's raw MMA talent, he entered him into fixed matches. They were partners in a scheme that a bunch of small-town Texans would fall for every time, betting hundreds and even thousands of dollars on Junior because he would always win. And I had something to do with his constant victories." He paused and shuddered a deep breath.

"What did you do?" Penny urged him to continue.

"I studied the fighters that were due to combat Junior, and with my eidetic memory, was able to process and recognize their routines. Then I learned the point system of the MMA matches and relayed my results to Junior and Marky who in turn would use this to their advantage." He ripped his eyes away from Penny and stared in the direction of his apartment forlornly. "Junior and Marky made an obscene amount of money ripping off people. They had always offered to split it with me, but I could never take a dime. It was an extremely dishonorable way to make a living."

"Why did you do it then?" Penny's eyes widened as Sheldon persisted.

"The night I witnessed Marky attack that man, he threatened to kill my family if I ever told on him. And if I didn't help him throw the fights, he would kill me. And I believed him for years. I flew back and forth from Germany where I was a guest lecturer at the university when I had holiday breaks and when they no longer needed me there, I moved back to Texas for good." Sheldon knew what was coming next and he let go of Penny's hand abruptly, suddenly needing more physical space to continue. He rose carefully from the couch and took a few steps away before turning back to face her. "I have always been the odd man out, as they say, Penny. I never relished the thought of becoming close to anyone because I've always been preoccupied with the vast knowledge to be learned by studying the universe and all of its components. And something solidified that night sixteen years ago when I saw Marky beat that man within inches of his life. That night, I had resolved to believe that this world is cruel, unforgiving. That danger lurks at every corner. And that by being part of the world that Junior had dragged me into, that maybe I was just as cruel, just as bad."

"No," Penny protested, her bottom lip trembling. "No, Sheldon, you are not bad."

Sheldon supplied Penny a sad smile before it disappeared and he found himself wringing his hands together. "Over seven years of being subjected to the gritty, abhorrent world of witnessing men fight ruthlessly in and out of the ring, I had been desensitized to matters of casual, social interaction. The only thing that sustained my will to live in those years, Penny, was physics. No matter what Junior and Marky took away from me, I always had science to fall back on. It made me a much fiercer student, an eager learner. And I was satisfied to live the rest of my days alone in Texas as a student of the universe by day, and a wayward gambler at night.

"Eight years ago, I received a call from Caltech right after achieving my second doctorate to come join their staff. But at that time, I almost declined it. I am sad to say I was completely drawn into a world of Junior and Marky's making. It became something I would look forward to, the mathematical outcomes of a sparring match, the ruthless dominance of winning, and I was always right in determining the amount of time and hits Junior would need to provide in order to win a match. It is in my nature to do well at everything, Penny." Sheldon felt winded but he pressed on. "But Marky ended up leaving town to run away from a bad deal he had made with the wrong people and he sent them on my brother to collect their money. They attacked Junior one night when he was leaving a match. I was at home packing; my flight to California was the next day. He barged into the house with broken ribs and a gash on his face from a knife that his attackers used on him. He managed to get away from them and he came straight for me. He blamed me for everything, for not being there with him that night, for Marky leaving, and said if I left, he'd never forgive me. That night, Junior raised his fists to me for the first time, but because of his weakened state, I was able to fight him off. I threatened him that if I ever saw him again, I'd kill him. Then I left to California and never looked back." When Sheldon was finally done with his story, he found himself sitting on the couch by Penny again, and looked down in mild surprise to see that her hand had somehow snaked its way back into his grasp. He studied it curiously.

"Sheldon," Penny started, her voice soft but sure. "You did everything right by leaving."

"I know," Sheldon agreed, still unable to meet Penny's eyes. As they sat in silence, Sheldon felt Penny rub both of her thumbs over the skin of his hands, and just for a little while, he allowed himself the luxury of forgetting what was waiting for him in his apartment, and focused only on the green-eyed girl who would not leave his side for anything. Sheldon gazed at the cascading mane of hair that framed her face, willing himself not to reach out and touch it.

And in that moment, Sheldon knew that if she had tried to let go, he would not have let her.