A/N: No matter how many reviews this fic gets, as long as I have my amazing readers that continue to leave such thorough and heartfelt feedback, I will remain extremely elated. I can't explain how great it feels to read how you all become so engrossed in the story and passionate about the characters. I truly want to thank you all, especially my lovely guest reviewers who don't HAVE to take time and review but do so anyway, faithfully.
Also, I made an A on my final. YEY ME. Three whole days of rest until the next class starts, so I promise to spend every minute working on updates. :]
Sorry this chapter is kind of short, but it's a continuation of the last chapter, and I think you'll enjoy it anyway! ;]
"Don't leave me."
Penny had prepared herself for a stern talking to, a berating order to leave the apartment at once, or even a physical removal of her hands from Sheldon's flannel-sleeved forearms. But as sure as the sunlight that had sprawled across the wooden tiles of the apartment like spilt milk, filling the room with natural light and warmth, Sheldon admitted to Penny, in the most exposed and raw way that a man like him could, that he needed her. She remained rooted to the spot as he snaked one of his arms around her waist, resting his large hand on her hip, palming the exposed skin between the bottom of her shirt and the waist of her jeans, while his other hand continued to slowly entwine her sleek ponytail between his fingers. She let out a low, guttural gasp as Sheldon absent-mindedly gave the tiniest of tugs on her blonde strands. As the small sound escaped her lips, her eyes flitted to Sheldon's almost instantly, and her heartbeat sped up as a small smirk played on his thin, playful mouth. The subtle act of flirtation by a self-proclaimed "man of science" like Sheldon Cooper kindled a warm, airy feeling that began in Penny's lower abdomen and spread to every square inch of her body from head to toe.
"Innate behavior," Sheldon murmured, his eyes never leaving Penny's face. He was peering at her as though he was studying a mystery that had yet to be solved.
Penny shook the small stars from her eyes, the pounding of her heart roaring in her ears, and asked Sheldon what he was talking about.
"I am experiencing a rare urge to step further out of my comfort zone than I am accustomed, but it is nearly instinctual, a behavior that alters my environment to what I see fit."
"Almost getting it," Penny whispered, furrowing her brows. Was this his way of talking dirty?
He rolled his eyes in exasperation before refocusing on her. "I feel the overwhelming need to kiss you." As soon as the word kiss left his lips, Penny fixated once again on his mouth.
"The feeling is mutual." She took a step closer to him, relishing the heat of his lean, hard body in his ruffled pajamas, still warm from having woken up minutes ago.
"Penny." Her name, so often said by Sheldon that sometimes it rarely had any meaning, sounded like a plea coming from his lips. Whether it was to beg her to stop inching toward him with her own lips, or to beg her to plant them on his, they would never know.
"Food's getting cold-you two done squabbling yet?" Junior clapped his hands together and waltzed back into the kitchen area, stunning Sheldon into silence much to Penny's chagrin. "Oh, shit! Sorry about that..." Penny craned her neck to look at Junior with what she hoped was with an expression of contempt.
"Impeccable timing as always," Sheldon muttered before releasing his hold on Penny and taking a step away from her. She refused to let him get far, grabbing onto his forearms with a desperation that caused Sheldon to stare down at her in alarm. "Penny…"
"We need to talk," she said. Already, the exposed skin around her hips where Sheldon's hand had been was clammy, wistful for his touch.
"Of course," Sheldon assured her, licking his lips quickly and glancing over her shoulder at Junior. "Later, though. Please."
"I can take a hint," Junior said, smiling widely. "If you two need a minute…"
"No." Sheldon shook his head and gently removed his arms from Penny's grasp. "We need a plan to keep Penny safe if she is going to get us to Marky through Kurt. Of course, if that's still what she wants to do." He gave her a once over before stepping around her and walking back to the table to join Junior. "I admit that I still have some reservations about her involvement."
"Her safety is priority number one," Junior said solemnly.
"And if I get even an inkling of trouble, I'm pulling her out," Sheldon promised fiercely.
"Couldn't agree more, little brother."
"Penny?"
She turned around and saw Sheldon staring at her meaningfully, a question in his eyes, while Junior looked down at his hands. The atmosphere had been sucked of its warm, glowing light and Penny's stomach suddenly began to churn. "Yeah. I just need a minute." She whirled back around and in one swift movement, was out of the apartment and walking directly into her own, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against it, willing her heart to stop pounding. This is what she wanted; to help and be there for Sheldon. As his friend. But what had happened between the two friends before his brother came in and broke it up was too strong to be ignored.
Perhaps it had appeared out of thin air, or perhaps it had always been there, lying around waiting for its moment to pounce on Penny, but one thing was for sure: her feelings for Sheldon had shifted from an affection for her lovable yet loony giant man-child of a neighbor into strong, almost tangible currents of yearning for the man with a shady past she was inexplicably drawn to. Frowning, she pushed herself off of her door and headed straight to the comfort of her kitchen, fishing around for any kind of alcohol that would soothe her frayed nerves. The fact that it wasn't even noon yet be damned. She found two bottles of beer left and popped the tops off of both of them with the bottle opener. Immediately, she guzzled down half of one, her thoughts jumbled up inside of her head. One of the thoughts reared front and center and it was of Leonard. Oh God-what am I doing?
Walking stiffly to her couch, she sunk into the cushions and tried to make sense of her emotions. What she wanted this summer was time away from Leonard so she could sort out her feelings, make sense of what she felt was lacking in their relationship, and perhaps maybe just find the strength to grow up and open herself to a real commitment to him. Leonard, her little man with a big heart who would do anything to make her happy. But yet, he always fell just short of doing so. And Penny somehow thought it was maybe her fault. Surely it couldn't be his. So what he didn't challenge her? Make her feel just enough friction to want to strive to be a better person? In other words-how dare Penny not love a man that loved her more than he loved himself?
Though Leonard may not have dared Penny to be better than what she was (he, in fact, always assured her she was perfect), there was one person who always did. Who always had his own subtle way of stimulating a rise out of Penny, and with this person, no two days were ever the same. He made her laugh, he made her cry, he pissed her off, and he turned her on. Setting the beer down, Penny crossed her arms and felt a small smile play on her lips as she thought of Sheldon tugging on her hair just minutes before.
"I feel the overwhelming need to kiss you."
"Was that my fault, or…"
Sheldon finally tore his eyes away from his closed apartment door moments after Penny walked out of it then rested his gaze on his brother. "What?"
"I'm sorry I interrupted your, uh, whatever that was." Junior wouldn't wipe the grin off of his face and it made Sheldon slightly defensive.
"You interrupted nothing except a conversation between two friends," he said, bristling slightly as he took a seat at the table. Sheldon kept his back straight and eyes even. He longed to walk after Penny, ask her what was wrong, and apologize for his strong outburst of carnal-like behavior that slightly scared him. The urge to kiss Penny was an understatement-holding her in his arms, staring into her eyes as she stared back into his, the way she slightly arched her back into him, barely touching his chest with her own-he wanted to devour her. Shaking his head of the thoughts, he addressed Junior again. "I believe you and I have to discuss something before this goes any further."
"By all means," Junior said, and then frowned at the food that was spread out on the table, still untouched. "I take it no one is eating today?"
"When you leave, Junior, I still have to live here. When you are gone, leaving what is sure to be a mess in your wake, I have to clean it up. The relationships I have are few, but they are strong. Penny is someone in whom I trust and," he swallowed hard, "…well, she is one of my closest friends. If she gets hurt in any way, or if I sense that my life that I've built for myself here in Pasadena is in peril on your road to retribution, I will remove you from said life. With my bare hands, if I must." Sheldon's eyes were ice compared to Junior's watered down baby blues.
"You seem to forget what Marky has done to you, too," Junior accused, bristling as well at the sudden barrage of threats by Sheldon.
"I forget nothing," Sheldon rumbled.
"I mean that it's not only my retribution I'm looking to satisfy here, Shelly. I want to make that son-of-a-bitch pay for what he did to me, to you, to Missy and Momma."
"Nothing would please me more to see that man pay for what he's done, but not at the expense of…" Sheldon didn't finish his sentence, and instead he looked longingly at the apartment door. The sudden urge to go after Penny returned, but he needed her to come back to him. If she truly still wanted in, she would have to do it on her own accord-Sheldon would never ask this of her. "Do I make myself clear, Junior?"
"You really care about her, don't you?" The question startled Sheldon at first, but he quickly recovered. "Seriously, I never thought…well, never mind."
"You never thought what?"
Sighing, Junior leaned back against sink, facing Sheldon with an awed look upon his face that made Sheldon squirm a little under the scrutiny. "I never thought I'd ever see the day where you fell in love with a woman. Not a real one, anyhow. You know, like from one of them comic books you used to read."
Before Sheldon could argue or make a sound beyond the indignant squeak of protest, the front door to the apartment opened and in walked Penny. He frowned as he saw an open beer bottle in her hand but his eyes traveled up her slender arm until they rested on her face. He felt his stomach flip as the overwhelming feelings of (coil, release, lust?) returned.
"I'm sorry for leaving so quickly," she said as she shut the door behind her and crossed the living room to join the Cooper boys at the table. "I …needed a beer."
"You and me both, sister," Junior cracked.
Sheldon was irate. He was tortured to finish his conversation with Junior, to shoot down his theories of being in love with Penny, but felt the more pressing matter was to inquire as to why Penny had felt the need to consume alcohol so early in the day. But in a rush of a rare, almost burning shame, Sheldon's brain flashed another memory of the feel of her lean waist in one of his hands, her silky smooth hair in the other…he shuddered and decided to keep his mouth shut.
"But no, I haven't changed my mind," Penny continued, looking at both Sheldon and Junior. "I still want to help. And I think I know how."
"The floor is yours," Junior said and he bowed his head, while Sheldon nodded stiffly.
"I can call Kurt today, ask him if he wants to meet me at a bar or something, loosen him up with a few drinks and pretend I'm interested in hanging out with him again." Penny paused for reaction, but she received none as Junior nodded for her to continue and Sheldon hunkered down on the sudden flare of feelings threatening to emerge (insecure, panic, jealousy?). She went on. "Then, I can just casually bring up how he used to box, ask him if he's still training at the same place."
"You used to go watch him a lot?" Junior interrupted.
"Yeah," Penny replied. "I actually used to get a kick out of watching him train. But that guy, Rob, or Marky, whatever…he used to suck the fun out of it. He would really come down hard on Kurt, and it always gave me a bad vibe. But Kurt would assure me that it was how trainers were supposed to act."
"True," Junior said thoughtfully. "Go on."
"Well," Penny began again, this time looking at Sheldon. "I thought maybe if he still trained at the gym, I could possibly go sit and watch him, and take my phone and record Rob-Marky, oh, whatever his name is!"
"Let's refer to him as Rob for now," Sheldon suggested, finally speaking. "If it's the same man, he changed his name for a reason. If he somehow hears his real name, he'll become extremely suspicious."
Penny nodded in agreement. "Okay. Well, yeah. That's my plan. To record this guy fight so that Sheldon can study his moves and wouldn't have to show his face at the gym." She waited for the two men to say something. Sheldon thought it was a good idea, but held back from saying so. Just the mere thought of Penny alone in the same place as Marky was enough to make his skin metaphorically crawl. And if that wasn't bad enough, another vision of Penny attempting to flirt with Kurt again in order to get back into his good graces (or whatever else she had to do) turned his stomach as sour as day-old milk.
"What do you think, Shelly?" Junior asked, interrupting Sheldon's warped thoughts of Kurt being hit by a speeding train.
"I…" Sheldon began, unable to meet Penny's eyes. "I think it could work. But I insist that we wait outside, in a parked car, while Penny is inside of the gym. I don't want to leave her completely alone."
"Very undercover, Sheldon, I like it," Junior said with a lopsided grin. "But seriously, I agree. The closer we are to you the better in case there's any…trouble."
"You guys," Penny said as she bit her lower lip in a worrisome fashion. "How dangerous is this guy?" She waited while the two men were silent again for a long time. When it became uncomfortable, Sheldon was about to speak again but Junior cut him off.
"You see this?" he asked, pointing at the long, silvery scar that began at the tip of his eyebrow and zig-zagged down his temple until it disappeared into his beard.
"Yeah," Penny said sheepishly. "I noticed it the first time I saw you last night."
"Well, the knife that did this to me was aiming for my jugular. And the hand that did it was hired by Marky. As far as he knows, I've been dead a very long time." Penny let out a small gasp and Sheldon wanted to ask Junior to stop it, but he was too busy staring at the scar himself. Junior had said that Marky sent those men after him and had assumed Sheldon would be there, too. If he had been with Junior instead of home packing for his departure to Caltech, would Sheldon still be alive today? Would he also have been sporting his own battle wound, a daily reminder when he faced the mirror that the man who hired him to be killed was still out there, living and breathing? Rage filled Sheldon's lungs like air as he realized Penny would soon be around Marky, and he struggled to maintain control as his hands gripped the sides of the kitchen table.
"I'm sorry," Penny murmured, looking down.
"Don't be," Junior snapped, not unkindly. "It's why I'm here. After eight long years, a little payback is due."
All was quiet again until Sheldon regained enough composure from his sudden surge of fury and relaxed his grip, releasing the breath he had been holding. He could keep Penny safe. They just had to play it smart. She had a good plan. "Okay," he heard himself say. "I say Penny calls Kurt."
"Okay," Junior said slowly, watching his brother carefully. "Penny? Are you ready to make that call?"
"Yeah," she said. Sheldon noticed a slight hesitation. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and touched her hand tentatively. Her neck snapped up as she looked at him.
"You don't have to do this," he said, giving her one more out that he hoped she would take.
"I won't leave you," Penny said forcefully, the meaning in her words taking Sheldon back to just moments ago when he pleaded with her to stay with him. The look in her eyes jolted him and something congealed between the two of them that Sheldon was not sure could ever be broken.
"Then let's make the call," Junior suggested when words failed both Sheldon and Penny.
Later that evening, after the call to Kurt had been placed and was almost too easily successful, Penny stood in front of her bedroom floor-length mirror as she tried on several outfits to wear that night. Her hair curled and her make-up already done, she just had to motivate herself into changing out of her jeans and T-shirt and into a tight little number that would have Kurt drooling. The hard part wouldn't be getting Kurt to meet her for drinks, Penny knew. It would be the insufferable couple of hours she would have to endure with him, the entire time forcing herself to pretend she was interested in him again.
"I knew I'd be hearing from you again sooner or later," Kurt cooed into the phone with a hint of machismo.
"Yes, Kurt," Penny said through gritted teeth, attempting to keep her tone light, playful. "I can never stay away for too long. You just do it for me, baby."
"So you coming over tonight, or what?"
"I'm actually kind of hungry," Penny said with a fake pout, inching the pitch of her voice up a notch so that she sounded like a baby, just how Kurt used to like it. "Why don't we have dinner and drinks?"
"Sure," he agreed, suggesting an old sports bar they used to frequent when they were together.
"Meet you there at 9?"
"Wear a skirt," he ordered. "I miss those legs."
Penny modeled a black mini skirt that she had not worn in months. It was one of her favorites, a repeat companion that scored her numbers galore when her, Bernadette and Amy would go out on girl's nights. She emitted a soft groan as another jumbled up thought parked itself in the front of her mind and the thought was of Amy. She still hadn't returned her missed calls and when she looked at the time, she knew it would be the middle of the night in London so now wouldn't be a good time to. But with the guilt washing over her, Penny dropped the skirt in her hands and stalked over to the side of her bed where the night stand held her cell phone. She picked it up and thumbed a quick text message to Amy, mentioning absolutely nothing about the last two days.
Ames! Sorry I missed ur calls. Miss you, hon. Will call U after work 2morrow.
Tossing her phone to her bed, she walked back to the mirror and picked the skirt up off the floor. She finally agreed on the black skirt and a silky, sheer peach colored-halter top and began to change her clothes when her phone buzzed from the comforter on her bed. Couldn't be Amy, could it? She picked it up slowly and read the incoming message from Sheldon with a smile on her face.
- Truly appreciate you doing this, Penny, but you may disengage at any time.
Penny thought a moment before replying.
Sheldon, I told you I wanted 2 help. I can handle Kurt. What R U and Jr up 2?
Finally slipping out of her jeans and pulling on her outfit for the night, she looked at her digital alarm clock and saw that she had half an hour to finish getting ready and head out to meet Kurt. The phone buzzed again.
- He went to scout out a local gym earlier this afternoon and I assume he found one he liked since he has not yet returned. May I come over?
Sure, door's unlocked.
Penny's heartbeat sped up as she ran to unchain the latch on her door. Sheldon and her had not talked about their almost kiss earlier that morning all day and evening, so she figured now was a better time than any. She heard the buzz of her phone again and ran to pick it up, and her stomach dropped.
- Don't worry, Bestie. Couldn't sleep anyhow. Can I call you really quick? Need 2 talk about Sheldon.
As Penny stared at her phone in shock, Sheldon's signature rep of three knocks with the simultaneous calling of her name sounded at her front door. After the third knock, Sheldon let himself in.
"I know you said the door was open, but old habits die hard, I suppose," he quipped with a shy smile on his face as he searched for Penny in her living room. "Penny?"
"In…in the bedroom," she stammered, still staring at her phone. She finally looked up as Sheldon approached, filling the empty space in her doorway. "Hi."
"Hello," he greeted, his eyebrows furrowed. "Is everything alright?" He toed the invisible threshold that separated her living area from her bedroom as if afraid to enter her private quarters.
"I don't know," she answered honestly before collapsing on her bed. "Amy wants me to call her."
"But...it's almost 4 AM in London," Sheldon protested, shaking his head back and forth.
"She just texted me, and I don't have a good reason not to call her back. She knows I'm off on Sundays."
"Well," Sheldon said softly as he finally stepped into Penny's room, causing the space to look instantly smaller due to his tall frame. "I suppose you should call her."
"She wants to talk about you." Penny looked up as realization crossed his face. Her heart still pounding in her chest, she licked her lips and decided to go for broke. "Before I call her, I think we need to talk about us."
"Well, that is why I wanted to catch you before your…date…with Kurt tonight." Spitting out date seemed to pain Sheldon, swallowing forcefully after he said the word.
"Well, then Amy can wait," Penny decided, setting her phone down on the bed beside her. "Sheldon, what happened between us today?" She watched as the brilliant physicist studied the fabric of her bed's comforter, the shag in her carpet, the paint on her wall, anywhere but her eyes. She sighed loudly and repeated herself.
"I was hoping you could assist me in figuring that out," Sheldon admitted, sighing as well. "But first, I want to apologize for my behavior." Penny peered up at him with a questioning look as he continued. "I can assure you that it will not happen again." He clasped his hands at the base of his spine and took another step forward. "I will keep myself on a tighter leash, as it were. The last thing I want to do is complicate the situation by making you uncomfortable."
Nodding as if considering his apology, Penny stood up and walked over to where Sheldon was standing. "What if I said that I wanted it to happen again?" She kept a safe distance away from him, as he was inching closer to the door like he might be thinking about fleeing.
"Penny," Sheldon said in a condescending voice that irked her to the core, but she kept her face straight. "I am willing to admit fault in this situation because of the resurgence of strong feelings that have stirred up inside of me with the arrival of my brother, but I will no longer allow myself to lose control." He stayed completely still as Penny closed the distance between them. She couldn't help but notice his eyes catch the way her skirt fit snug on her thighs as she glided towards him. "What are you doing?" His voice was meek as she stopped directly in front of him, close enough to feel his breath on her skin.
"You're pushing me away again," Penny said before lifting her hands and bringing them to either side of Sheldon's face. He flinched slightly at her touch as she placed one hand on his collarbone, the other on his right cheek. "You don't want to do push me away, but you're afraid." His eyes flickered with sadness as she realized she was reading him like a book.
"You have Leonard, and I Amy." His tone was feeble and defeated but he leaned into Penny's touch. "This is madness." His eyes fluttered closed and Penny fought the urge to kiss him, not wanting to scare him.
"Right now, all we have is each other," she replied firmly. Leaning in and turning her face upward so that her lips were mere centimeters away from his ear, Penny spoke softly. "I want to make sure we get through this situation with Junior together and unharmed. I don't want to push you into anything, Sheldon, but I think our feelings are stronger than we both are letting on. And eventually I want to address said feelings. But for now, I will play along. I'll call Amy and pretend everything is okay, and I won't say a word to anyone. All I ask of you in return is to stop pushing me away." When she was finished, Penny released her hold on Sheldon and watched him wither at the lack of her touch. His eyes fluttered open and he let his hands fall to his sides.
"Okay, Penny. I won't push you any further." He hesitated for a moment before reaching up and fingering a tendril of her waves that framed her face. He sighed and then released the blonde mane and Penny suppressed a shudder. "I know what I am requesting of you, and it tasks me to involve you. I don't want you to get hurt."
"The only way I can get hurt, Sheldon, is if you pretend that you don't feel it, too."
Sheldon met Penny's eyes, and several things happened at once, so fast that Penny almost missed the feeling of the backs of her knees pressing against the edge of her mattress, the eager hands as one wrapped around her waist and the other braced her back so that she wouldn't fall, the stunning feel of a warm, soft pair of lips pressing against hers, frigid and unmoving at first, then fluid and thick as they molded against her own. And as soon as the sensation of Sheldon kissing her sent an electric shock up her spine, it was over.
"I feel it, too," Sheldon assured her as he released his hold on her body then took a step back. "Have fun on your date with Kurt tonight," he said quietly, this time no malice when he said the word date. In fact, Penny could have sworn he sounded smug. "But not too much fun." And with that, he was gone, leaving Penny stunned into silence as her door closed quietly behind him.
"Holy…" she began, still recovering, when her phone buzzed again. She sat down softly on her bed, a goofy grin on her face as she picked up the phone and read the screen; another desperate text from Amy a whole ocean away.
- Penny? Are you busy?
Sorry, Amy, I'm about to go on a date. Promise 2 call U 2morrow.