Hello readers! Thanks for your reviews/faves, and sorry it's been a few days. I wanted to make sure it was exactly the way I wanted it before I posted it, but I didn't know exactly how I wanted it.
Anyways, review and enjoy!
A round, dark blue MANTI in a chef's uniform leads QUEEN DERUNA and her ADVISOR through the kitchen of the MANTI palace. Manti kitchen drones, who are as short and unimportant as Irken drones, are hard at work on food, probably most of which is intended for ZIM. As they walk, the ADVISOR shows the CHEF pictures of ZIM and charts that have been drawn to track his growth.
ADVISOR: This is the Irken Pig today. If we reach Step 5 in three days, he will outgrow the biggest pot in the galaxy and we'll have to roast him.
CHEF: Ooh, but I can do a lovely marinade that complements Irken meat beautifully!
The ADVISOR groans and smacks the CHEF.
ADVISOR: You blubbering fool. Only a meat stew will feed the entire party.
DERUNA: Your last roast was most delicious, Chef. And there will be more than enough meat to go around, you idiot.
The CHEF squeals with delight, very high-pitched, kind of obnoxious. The ADVISOR glares at him.
CHEF: Your highness, I will prepare a crème de squeedilyspooch with Meekrob clover honey and smooth cream for dessert if you wish!
DERUNA: Ah, you always know my favorites. Give him lots of imple cider to make his squeedilyspooch nice and crisp.
CHEF. Yes, milady. (to the SOUS chef) Brew some imple cider for the Irken Pig! And is tonight's prune-pizza finished yet?
SOUS CHEF: Dunno, the new prep was assigned to it.
The SOUS points to GIR, who is wearing an overly-large chef hat and humming while stirring dough.
DERUNA: Isn't that -?
ADVISOR: Yes, milady, it is.
DERUNA glides to GIR with a gentle, bloodthirsty smile.
DERUNA: Excuse me, dear little SIR. Do you not belong to the Irken?
GIR: No lady, I belong to Master.
GIR resumes stirring. DERUNA turns him around and shows him the pictures they are using to track Zim's growth.
GIR: That's him! I likes dat guy!
DERUNA: What a clever bot you are. Are you helping these nice Mantis cook for your master?
GIR: No, Master's not eating anymore.
DERUNA: Not eating? WHAT? Why would he deny the greatest when he thinks he is worthy of the greatest?!
GIR: Because you're his first mate. He's a pirate now, y'know.
DERUNA stares at him in confusion. GIR stares back, tongue hanging out.
GIR: I'm busy now, so you can come back later.
GIR resumes stirring again. DERUNA's eyes flash; she grabs GIR by the scruff of his apron and holds him close to her face.
DERUNA: As a SIR, is it not your duty to make sure your Master is well-cared-for? Ensure your Master is fed, erring SIR, or we'll have your brain put in a lawn mower.
GIR: Heh, weasel.
Looking aghast, DERUNA drops GIR. She begins to hyperventilate. Her face grows purple, and with a low growl, she throws her crown to the floor.
DERUNA: That - SIR - told me the Pig won't eat! UGH!
ADVISOR: Your highness, that SIR is clearly defective. The Irkens must not have wanted to waste a fully-functional SIR on the Pig.
DERUNA: No matter! The Pig is suspicious! He won't be fattened in time for the feast, I just know it. Oh, my poor nerves...you! My smelling salts. NOW!
She grabs a frightened KITCHEN DRONE, who yelps and runs. The CHEF and ADVISOR grab her arms and pet them soothingly.
ADVISOR: Now, now, my lady, all will be well!
CHEF: Oh yes. We must simply analyze the situation and ask ourselves why the Pig will not eat -
ADVISOR: Shut up, no one likes you. My Queen, we must simply analyze the situation and ask ourselves why the Pig will not eat.
DERUNA (sniffling): Well, the disabled SIR said it's because I'm his "first mate" or some other nonsense.
CHEF: His mate?
The CHEF squeals in excitement again.
CHEF: Your highness! I have a terrific idea!
The CHEF whispers in DERUNA's ear.
DERUNA: I don't know why you're whispering..but I like this plan. Oh ho, I like it...