"Have you ever done something that for a while you though was the right thing, then you start to question it, then it seems to uh… haunt you?"

Parker thinks for a second, "Kind of… I guess."

"I have, and it sucks. It can give you nightmares. I still have them every so often. I'll wake up covered in cold sweat, and Tempe says it takes her about 20 minutes to get me to actually wake up, that my eyes are open but I am still in the dream, still afraid." Booth sighs.

"The things that I have done still give me nightmares. I wake up and still feel like I am there. I dream about everything. Everything that I have seen, heard, done or been through. It feels like I am still living it, and that it will never be over. Sometimes I die in the POW camp, or that the two who made it out died, and I was all alone, or some of my targets didn't actually die, and they come after me or my family, or their families come after you guys. The dreams are sometimes worse than what happened, sometimes they are what happened, but they still make me sick. What I am saying is that once it is 'over' it's not really over," He uses finger quotes when he says the first over. "It's not done. It is still with me, and it always will be."

"How often do you get these nightmares?"

"Well it depends, when I first got back, every night, then they slowly started to go away. But if something happens that makes me think about it, or brings it to my attention, they tend to happen. If there is someone in the bed with me, someone sleeping next to me, it helps, they don't happen as much, but when they do they aren't as bad.

"Something that always makes me think about all of this is 49. The number. Whenever I see it or hear it I just go someplace else." Booth pauses and takes a deep breath.

"What's 49?" Parker asks, a very confused look on his face.

Booth thinks for a second. "It takes me back to all the things I have done. I killed 49 people while I as a Ranger. I have killed more people than that, but they could have seen it coming, and they know who did it. 49." Booth sighs.

"I could be doing something like watching TV and there is a commercial selling something for 'Only $49.99!!!!' I stop thinking about what I was watching, or the case that I have been working on. Hell you could ask me the day of the week and I won't know. Anything. If I buy something and the total comes up as $10.49 I won't buy it. I'll say never mind and jut walk away."

Booth and Parker are both quite for a few minutes before Booth says anything.

"Being 49 is going to suck. Every time someone asks for my age I will freeze. I won't even remember who they are or what I was talking to them about. I just don't know how I am going to get through that year."

Parker looks over at his dad, "You will get through it like you got threw it every other time, only now you have so much more to live for. You have a family that couldn't make it without you. Especially me. Man even mom couldn't make it without you."

"You have a point." Booth looks at his watch, "Damn, its 11:30. I need to get you home or your mom will kill me and I won't have to worry about living through 49." He says with a small smile Parker looks at him and laughs.

"Yeah dad let's get out of here."