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Delivery run
Tinker Bell, Clank and Bobble are bringing new wares to the nature talents and are confronted by the sprinting thistles for the first time.
Clank (yelling): Sprinting thistles!
The trio try to escape, but Cheese the Mouse jumps into the wagon with Tink and Bobble.
Director Bradley Raymond: CUT! Okay, let's calm down the mouse and start over.
Bobble: Cheese, they're just fairies in costume. They aren't real thistles. That will all be added with CGI later.
Clank: I don't think he understands.
Tinker Bell (sighs): Great, we asked for a mouse and got Scooby Doo.
Bobble (doing a lousy Scooby Doo impression): Reah, Rinker Rell, Reah. Ree hee hee!
Tinker Bell (laughing): That was terrible.
Bobble (hands at his side, feigning being insulted): Well not everyone can be Frank Welker, y'know.
Clank: Who's Frank Welker?
Bobble: He is a professional voice actor, Clank. He is most famous for voicing Fred Jones, Scooby Doo and Megatron.
Clank: You mean that Megatron is actually the voice of Fred Jones and Scooby Doo? (Looking rather distraught) I'll never be able to watch Scooby Doo again.
Bobble (sighing): Oh, Clankie.
Tinker Bell: No, Clank, Frank is the voice for all three characters.
Bobble: Don't bother trying to explain it to him, it just doesn't sink in.
Tinker Bell: Oh.
Clank is near tears.
Tinker Bell: Actually, Clank, Bobble is wrong.
Bobble: I am?!
Tinker Bell: Yeah. Calvin Johnson is Megatron. He's a wide receiver for the Detroit Lions.
Clank: He is?
Tinker Bell nods her head. She winks at Bobble who nods also.
Bobble: Yes. Tinker Bell's right, Clank.
Clank: Oh, I feel all better now. And you know, it's a good thing we're wearing green.
Bobble (confused): Why is that, Clank?
Clank: Because now we can root for the Lions' division rivals, the Green Bay Packers without having to change our clothes. They wear green just like we do.
Tinker Bell: Huh?
Bobble (to Tinker Bell): How did we get from a frightened mouse to Megatron?
Clank: Oh, that's easy. The director yelled "action" and we drove our carts from back there to right here when the garden fairies dressed as thistles ran all around and I yelled "sprinting thistles!" Then Cheese jumped into the cart and you told me that Megatron was also Fred Jones. (Clank starts to look distraught once more). I'll never be able to watch Scooby Doo again.
Bobble groans as he rolls his eyes. Tinker Bell face palms. Cheese shakes his head in disbelief.
Director Bradley Raymond (off camera): Just shoot me now.
Tinker Bell meets Vidia
First meeting:
Vidia is gathering pollen. She has spawned a small vortex and has used it to suck the pollen out of a flower. Just as Vidia is about to deposit the spinning pollen into a container Tinker Bell announces herself and catches Vidia by surprise.
Tinker Bell: Hi there!
Startled, Vidia's powers send pollen and pots in all directions.
Tinker Bell: Vidia, Right?
Vidia sneezes and snot comes flying from her nose. It gets all over her hands.
Vidia: Oh. Oh. I need a Kleenex. Somebody get me some Kleenex.
Tinker Bell: Eew!
Vidia tries to insult Tinker Bell
Take 1:
Vidia: I am a fast flying fairy. A true rare talent, and this is just a small part of what I do. I make breezes in the summer (creates a gentle breeze over the flowers below), blow down leaves in the fall (creates strong winds that knock off the flower petals).
Vidia inhales to recite her next line when a tiny bug accidentally gets sucked in.
Vidia: My w-hack* *cough* (in raspy voice) bug *hack* stuck in throat *cough* *gag* help.
Tinker Bell (flies behind Vidia and wraps her arms around Vidia's waist): I'll help.
Tinker Bell grasps her hands together, pulls inward and upward into Vidia's gut performing the Heimlich Maneuver. Finally the tiny bug shoots out of Vidia's mouth. She keeps coughing and hacking.
Tinker Bell: Are you okay, Vidia?
Vidia (still coughing): Stupid bug! I should tear its wings off.
Tinker Bell: Yeah, she's fine.
Take 2:
Vidia: I am fast flying flairy… Flairy? Did I just say flairy?
Tinker Bell grins.
Director Bradley Raymond: Okay, everyone. Let's try that one again. From the top.
Take 3:
Vidia: I am a flast fly… fla… fla… fla…, ah crap.
Tinker Bell (giggling): I guess that bug really got to you.
Take 4:
Vidia: I am a fast flaying fair… oh geez. I'm sorry, I'll get it next time.
Tinker Bell: 'Flying, flying.'
Vidia: Yeah, thanks a lot smart ass.
Director Bradley Raymond: Back to one and from the top.
Take 5:
Vidia: I am a fly… ah *bleep*. Son of a *bleep*. I can't *bleep*ing believe I cannot say three *bleep*ing words without *bleep*ing them all up.
Tinker Bell (laughing): That's not going to end up on the DVD is it?
Vidia: No, it'll be on the damned Blu-Ray so everyone can hear it in crystal clear hi-def. Ugh!
Tinker Bell: Yeah, cuz that will make it even better.
Take 9:
Vidia: I am a…
Tinker Bell: Yeah, I know, you're a snot flying fairy.
Vidia growls.
Tinker Bell (laughing): Beam me up, Snotty.
Vidia tries to blow her nose in the direction of Tinker Bell. The tinker fairy tries to fly away, but Vidia follows, flinging boogers at her.
Tinker Bell (squealing): Ahh,no! Stop! Stop!
Vidia (playfully): But I thought you liked green?
Tinker Bell finds the lost things on the beach.
Tinker Bell flies down and finds a screw and a spring. Delighted, she puts the screw into the spring and pushes it down. When released the screw hits Tinker Bell smack in the face, knocking her out cold. She falls flat on her back, spread eagle on the sand.
Director Bradley Raymond (off camera sounding panicky and hyperventilating): Doc! Check on Tinker Bell! (Under his breath) Lasseter is going to skin me alive if I've killed off the star of the franchise.
The on-set physician revives Tinker Bell. She is bleeding from her nostrils and it dribbles onto her dress.
Director Bradley Raymond (off camera): Tinker Bell? Tink are you okay. (She gives a groggy thumbs up). Why don't you go recover and we'll shoot some second unit stuff, okay?
Tinker Bell nods her head as the physician leads her away to the infirmary.
Director Bradley Raymond (maniacal laugh): I get to live. I get to live (slumping sound off camera as he passes out from relief).
Tinker Bell shows her inventions for the mainland
Take 2:
Tinker Bell takes the acorn cutter and demonstrates it.
Tinker Bell: Baby chipmunks can't eat the whole nut. Their teeth are too small. So you just put the nut in here and unggh…
The acorn splits in half
Tinker Bell: See? (surprised) It worked? It's not supposed to work.
The other fairies laugh while Queen Clarion puts her hand over her mouth while trying to remain dignified looking.
Take 3:
Tinker Bell tries to "fail" cutting the acorn in half, but it cuts the nut in half again.
Tinker Bell: Wow, I made this too good. Maybe I should have let the prop department build it instead.
Laughter from all around, Queen Clarion turns her head to avoid showing her amusement. Hyacinth chuckles.
Take 4:
Tinker Bell takes the acorn cutter and demonstrates it.
Tinker Bell: Baby chipmunks can't eat the whole nut. Their teeth are too small. So you…
Director Bradley Raymond (off camera): Cut!
Tinker Bell: What happened? Did I mess up something?
Director Bradley Raymond: No, you were fine, Tinker Bell. Hyacinth ruined the shot by staring at Clarion's bum.
Queen Clarion turns and glares at the Minister of Spring. He grins sheepishly.
Hyacinth: Umm…, you had a loose hair on your dress?
Queen Clarion (pointing towards the camera): Eyes over there, Minister.
Hyacinth: Yes, Your Highness. Quite right.
Take 5:
Tinker Bell finally manages to "fail" to cut the acorn. It flies out as expected, but in the wrong direction. Queen Clarion has to duck to avoid being conked in the head.
Tinker Bell: Oops, sorry, Your Highness.
Queen Clarion: That's alright, Tinker Bell. Next time just a little to the left.
Hyacinth: Yes, just a little to the…, (realizing he is "just a little to the left") Your Highness?!
Queen Clarion grins mischievously.
Hyacinth: Ahem. Yes, yes. Most amusing, Your Highness.
Take 8:
Tinker Bell again "fails" to cut the acorn in half and it ejects in the correct direction. But it hits the baby squirrel smack in the face knocking it out completely.
Random Fairy (yelling in horror): Tinker Bell killed the baby squirrel!
Fawn (tending to the squirrel): No, he's fine. He just has a huge knot on his head.
Tinker Bell: Whoa! This is really dangerous.
Vidia: Why don't you let the scouts have it? That thing would be great against the hawk.
Queen Clarion cocks a displeased eyebrow in Vidia's direction.
Vidia: Just a suggestion. Sheesh.
Any and all comments / feedback are greatly appreciated.
(Note 1: Lasseter refers to John Lasseter, the Chief Creative Officer for Pixar and Walt Disney Animation Studios. John Lasseter has overseen all of Pixar's films and directed TOY STORY, TOY STORY 2, A BUG'S LIFE, CARS and CARS 2. He is also credited as the Executive Producer for all of the Tinker Bell films.)
(Note 2: Calvin Johnson is a Wide Receiver for the Detroit Lions of the NFL. His nickname is Megatron and is considered one of the most talented wide receivers currently playing in the National Football League. The Green Bay Packers are division rivals of the Lions and green as their primary color.)
Please note, I've been trying to keep the bloopers in sequence with the film, but I may end up jumping around should I think up more bloopers and hijinks for moments earlier in the film.
Thank you for your loyal readership.