God, I love doing these things. The next story is the The Oprah Winfrey Show from HELL. It's hilarious. If you like Nny/Devi and comedy and you haven't read this yet, you are a moron.Go out and read this before I kill you. There isn't an overload of Nny/Devi in this, so I only destroyed chapter 5, where basically all the wonderful LURV is. The rest of the story remains untainted by my evil touch of supidity. BEHOLD!!

The Oprah Winfrey Show from HELL

By... not me. By CamelofDoom.

Blah blah blah... stuff happens here that involes Jhonen and Nny getting sucked into the Oprah Winfrey Show and getting tyed up blah blah blah blah blah blah something about Oprah being fat blah blah blah blah BLAH...

Oprah smiled a smile of PURE FATTY EVIL!! "Let me introduce our new guest, Devi!" Oprah screamed with joy, crumbs falling from her lipstick-smeared mouth.

'Uh Oh...' Jhonen thought, looking at Johnny. Johnny was mentally adding random people in the audience to his hit list. Then he started to think about how much he wanted that Fiz Wiz and A Single Tear ran down his face. Of course, no one knew this was about the Fiz Wiz, so everyone was all

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAW LOOKIT HE LOVES HER AND HE'S SAD CUZ SHE DOESN'T LOVE HIM THAT IS SO FUCKING ADORABLE!!!!"

The audience clapped, and hollered at Devi as she came into the stage. Her eyes landed on Oprah and a look of disgust crossed her face (cuz she's fat. Nobody likes fat people. It's so sad.) Then her eyes traveled to the other occupants. There was a red haired man she had never seen before with something sticky in his hair, and there was...

Johnny C.

Everyone suspected Devi to run at him screaming with a can of mace, but she didn't. Instead a look of sadness (AAAAAAAW vomits) crossed her face. She sat next to him. Johnny started to think about the things Happy Noodle Boy screamed and a look of confused happiness crossed his face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone screamed.

"Johnny... I want to tell you something. I... I forgive you. I was so angry when I listened to your message that... that I didn't really listen. Listen to what you were saying, I mean. You really blah blah blah blah blah... I didn't appreciate blah blah blah blah blah... I just hope you can still forgive me. Blah blah blah?"

"...what?" Johnny asked. He had barely heard a word she said.

"AAAAAAAAAAW HE'S SO HAPPY HE'S CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone cheered. Isn't it amazing how stupid people can be?

"Wow. That was very unexpected." Oprah said as she stared at Johnny and Devi. Johnny was starting to wish he had actually paid attension to what Devi was saying.

"...well?" Devi asked him. Johnny was now under the impression that it was his turn to say something.

Which was extreamly embarrasing due to the fact that he basically ignored her untill just now and had no idea what to say.

"Uuuuh..."

Just then, six evil penguins ran into the studio and started eating bubblegum knives and cussing at people. The tallest one pointed at Nny. "I AM HERE FOR MY REVENGE, BASTARD!!"

"What the hell? You stupid penguins were in the last chapter! Get lost!"

"NEVEEEEEEEEER!!!!!" the penguin chanted, and started slapping random people. Then these big muscular dudes came out of nowhere and threw them in the dumpster... but not before the tallest one threw a knife at Nny. The knife hit the ropes and bounced off ( I dunno it just did... shut up.)... landing right on Nny's lap.

Time seemed to stop. Everyone looked at Nny, and then the knife. Everyone seemed to be filled with this great big balloon of ph33r. Yes, ph33r. Not fear. That's how afraid they were.

Nny's coolness had officially dropped to zero. He was now a seriously creepy phsycotic insane dude... with a knife.

Nny looked at the knife. And looked. And looked. Then he manuvered his hand to grab the knife and cut his restraints.

Nny stood up ever so slowly and turned to face the audience. Then this reeeeally creepy smile formed on his face. What was everyone thinking? The answer: Oh shit.

LALALALALA A HELL OF A LOT OF TASTY GORE LALALALA

(A/N:Well, lots of people are getting killed right now... so... while Nny's wrapping that up... We have something else to entertain you! Behold!)

And now for something compleatly different!

"Mama! Mama, I can't feel my arms!" cried the baby. The baby was green and filled with Barbie doll heads and whale guts.

"Ish okay honey, I've got super powers! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" cried his mother and flew out the window. The End.

Back to the story...

Johnny had brutally massacred everyone in the building. Except Devi and Squee. Cuz we like them. Anywaaaaaaaaaaaay... Evenone's guts were everywhere and stuffs... annnnd... yah. Gore. Johnny was covered in gore too, and pigs flew around the room for no apparent reason. Wow, THAT was random.

And this rapper walked in and was all, "Yo, fo shizzle in da hizzie." And then we was all, "Yo dude, you're like, soooo incredably stupid right now. You gunna piss off the king of sexiness, yo." And Johnny did kill him, and everyone cheered because no one likes rappers who say "fo shizzle." Cuz that's just weird.

Devi sat there, tied to the chair, and just looked at Nny. Her mind went blank. She had just seen the man she LUUUUUUURVED slaughter about sixty people. How lovely.

Squee, on the other hand was covered in vomit. It's okay, it's his OWN vomit, but it's still vomit. He'd fainted from loss of... um... vomit. It happens sometimes, you know. People need their vomit to be healthy. Getting off topic again...

"HEY DEVI!!" Johnny called from across the room. He was so covered in blood he looked like Carrie from... uh... Carrie. Only it wasn't pig's blood. "HEY!! HEY!! HEY!!!" he called, waving his hands enthusiastically at her, a stupid grin on his face. Now, imagine what you would do if you saw Nny, covered in people guts, waving at you and smiling. Ya, exactlly. Nny is quite the little lover, ain't he? "DEVI!! HEY!!!'

"WHAT?!?! OH GOD, LEAVE ME ALONE!! YAAAAAAH!!!!" she screamed, trying to get the hell out of there.

Johnny jogged up to her with that goofy smile still plastered on his face. Once again, Devi was frozen in fear. Dude, this guy KILLS people. Wouldn't you be scared?

Crazy Fangirls: NO!!

Me neither!!!! YAAAAAAAAAY, HE'S SEXY!!!

Anyways... Nny held out a hand to her, like to give her something. Devi looked in his hand and screamed. There was a heart there. An actual HEART.

"Like it?" he asked her. "I saw people giving them to ech other on Valentine's Day, but, I mean, the hearts were fake, and... who wants a fake heart? Not me. Here ya go!" he said cheerfully, plopping the heart in Devi's lap.

I'm afraid to say Devi died of shock. And Nny ate her body. DUN DUN DUUUUUUH! Wait... why would he do that? He hates body fluids. Mabey he wanted to immortalize the moment even MORE and... no. That's stupid... how bout we just say he's crazy and leave it at that, k?

Wait a second... ew.. he ATE her? That's just GROSS. Why did I write that?

A/N: Uuummmmmmmmm... yah. Please, don't ask. That was just WEIRD, I know. Anyways... you know the drill. You wants me to fuck up your story? You know I will. Ph33r me. I have chocholate versions of Moose and you can't have them, nyah.