(A/N): This is my Happy Birthday to me chapter. I figured I'd get it done before my birthday camping trip, so I apologize if it seems a bit rushed. Thank you everyone for the reviews as they really brighten my day! You're all wonderful! As always, I do hope you enjoy and constructive criticism is always welcome.

It was calm when Snippy woke to the pale light in the room, a dream slipping from his vision. Never had he slept so well in all his memories of living.

He rolled onto his back and stretched, yawning deeply, trying to recall the dream he had been having. He closed his eyes again and short visions of a blue butterfly danced across his mind's eye. He didn't recall ever actually seeing such a radiant butterfly, but he enjoyed trying to remember it in detail. He also enjoyed having the empty room all to himself. He rolled over again and huddled under his sheets, breathing deeply. Then it hit him.

He opened his eyes. Sana's empty bed roll lie next to him. He sat bolt upright and looked around. Pilot was gone as well. He sat quietly listening for any disturbance that could lead him to them. Then he heard it.

Yells. Faint yells that he couldn't quite make out. He stood up, throwing on his mask and jacket. He sat on his bed again to get on his boots when he heard something more. A shrill scream. A woman's scream.

"Fuck," was all he said before he dashed after the scream leaving one of his boots behind , the other on with shoe strings swaying behind him as he ran. He took each step three at a time, making his way down from the third floor, breaking out in a cold sweat imagining everything that could have happened. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," was his mantra.

He was almost on the last flight of stairs when it happened. A misstep. The shoelace of his boot got caught under his foot and he felt himself losing control. The momentum of his lower body halted almost immediately while inertia carried his upper body forward full force. Hands shot out from his side trying to find something to hang onto with no luck. "Fuck!" He yelled tumbling down the last flight of stairs, landing with a loud crack on a plank of wood.

The yells stopped and pounding footsteps could be heard coming toward him, but he kept his eyes closed, focusing on getting up despite the pain.

He felt hands pushing him down again. "Mr. Buzzard, lay down where you are and don't move. Are you alright? What happened? Where's your other shoe?"

Snippy opened his eyes to everyone staring down at him, no one hurt, including Sana.

"I'm fine. I heard yelling so I ran down. Lousy stairs made me fall." He was glad he was wearing his mask to hide the blushing. Sana helped him to lay back down.

"Oh, I'm sorry to wake you! Pilot and I were playing warhawks and Engie was my plane and Captain was on Pilot's. Where are you feeling pain?" She stopped for a second, waiting for a reply.

"Uh, mainly my lower back." She gently turned him onto his stomach, placing her hands on his back, gently at first, testing different areas of his back to see if he reacted in pain while she continued to explain.

" Tell me if it begins to hurt. Well, Pilot ended up shooting me down because I couldn't get a good shot because of Captain's force field." When she was satisfied that there was no major damage she began palms down, circling her hands gently between his lower ribs and pelvis.

"Except Engie wouldn't fall over. " She stopped for a second to look at Engie standing behind her.

"Stupid flip-floppy idiot." Pilot said under his breath. "Doesn't know how to play right."

"Anyways, so I kicked him." Her round rubbing turned into a grabbing motion, slowly working out the muscles in his lower back.

"Fucking harder than necessary." Engie finally spoke up in defense of himself, crossing his arms.

"That's what you get for not following the rules." Pilot reminded him condescendingly. Engie turned toward him as if going to argue, but Captain interrupted before he could.

"It was the most scrumptious air battle of the decade! If only you wouldn't have slept through it!"

"That doesn't explain the scream." Snippy was trying to focus on the conversation, despite that the back massage he was getting was disrupting his thoughts.

"Well when I kicked him he didn't take it too well and he dropped me." Snippy's head shot up hearing this to glare at Engie from behind his lenses. Seeing him move so quickly she stopped the gentle kneading. "Does it feel better?"

As much as he didn't want her to stop he relented. "Yea, much, thanks." She stood up, dusting herself off and bent over to help Snippy up.

Captain sashayed over to Snippy and smacked him on the back making Snippy yelp in pain. "I am filled with joy to see you up. Now we are all prepared to spread the boarders of Captainia!" He raised his mug in victory. "Snippy! Grab mein rubber duck collection! Engie! You will pull my sled of wonderment!" Both Snippy and Engie groaned as they turned to start collecting necessities around the area. Captain continued on his delegation of tasks.

"Pilot, for your daring escapades this morning you shall lead the parade today! And my dear, dear new minion. You have much still too learn."

Sana lowered her head, visibly upset by the Captain's denunciations.

Captain continued, "Which is why I have decided I am going to adopt you." Snippy and Engie looked up from the bags they were packing. "By order of the jury of Captainia, you are now my progeny!"

Snippy then turned his eyes to Pilot, waiting for his outburst. He already had his hands clamped over his gas mask in what Snippy assumed was horror. It wasn't long before his look of horror was realized as a look of joy.

"You have been accepted by my Captain!" Pilot grabbed Sana in a hug and spun her around while continuing to describe all the fun they would have together training Photoshop and running missions together for Captain's glory. Sana returned the hug and skipped off between Captain and Pilot.

Snippy grabbed his bag, knuckles whitening. Engie gave the flustered man a look as he shoved items into his bag rather roughly.

"Charles?" Engie tried to get Snippy's attention, but he was a bit focused on the foul words falling endlessly from his lips. "Charles?" He tried again to no avail. With a sigh he set down the bag he was filling and walked over to the man, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What?" The sharp reply didn't phase Engie in the slightest.

Engie took off his mask and looked at Snippy with earnest eyes. "Wanna talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Snippy pulled away, continuing to fill his sack.

Engie continued to stand by the agitated man, crossing his arms and placing his weight on one leg. His posture was both slightly feminine and taunting. "You're getting attached awfully quick; you don't even know this person."

Snippy threw the next can into the bag a bit more harshly. "I'm not attached, I'm just… I'm…"

"You've never had a love life, have you?" Engie's grin was smeared on his face, his eye's mocking, but the look was quickly wiped off with Snippy's reply.

"Says the man who masturbated to CGI porn on a daily basis. Woah buddy, your love life was so much better than mine."

Engie's face was red as he fumbled to get his mask back on and begin packing again. "You know," Engie started, his almost laughing voice prompting Snippy to look up, "I find it funny that the four most awkward non-relationship oriented guys got stuck together in the wasteland with the possible future mission of repopulating the world."

Snippy chuckled at this sudden realization, his anger leaving him. He had a point.

"Buzzard!" Sana came running through the door and tackled Snippy as he was finishing loading the sled with Engie. "Guess what!"

Engie looked around the cart to see what all the fuss was about but at the sight of Sana straddling Snippy, he shook his head and went back to packing.

Still in pain from earlier, Snippy batted away the stars from his eyes taking in a deep breath to combat the throbbing in his spine. "Hm?" was all he managed.

Her goggles flashed green as she giggled. "That's a horrible guess. Try again."

Snippy felt himself grin a bit as he lifted his head from the ground to look at Sana. "Okay, okay… Yo-ou found a piece of cake?"

"Nope, try again." He could hear the smile in her voice.

"You met Pilot's pet?"

"Yes! But no."

"You found a portal to an alternate universe where puppies and kittens rule all?"

She shook her head violently at the suggestion. "You're not even trying anymore, Birdy."

Snippy raised an eyebrow at the new nickname, but disregarded it for now. "Well there's so many possibilities. How can I guess."

She raised a finger to her chin, propping her elbow up with her other hand. "I s'pose you have a point. Okay then, I'll tell you." She leaned over to Snippy's ear, pulling her mask from her face. Drawing back his hood a bit, he could feel her breath on him. A small inhale and the whispered words slid out, "I have a secret." Then it was over. She was up, giggling and dancing around the room, while Snippy was left lying on the ground perplexed.

"You can't do that." He started, rising from the floor.

"Can't do what?" She asked with a pirouette.

"You can't just tell me you have a secret then not tell me the secret." She continued the dance to the music in her head with a fouetté en tournant.

"I can if I was told not to tell you." A graceful grand jeté then her imaginary music ended as she finished, striking an elegant pose.

Snippy threw his hands in the air exasperatedly, "Then why even bri-"

"Are mein minions ready to depart?" Captain's sonorous voice stopped Snippy mid-sentence.

Engie stood up after tightening the last belt on the ramp that held down their items. "Yeah, we're all set here."

"Vunderbar!" His arms stretched out, tea sloshing dangerously in his mug. "Pilot, lead the way!"

And with a salute pilot began walking pompously into the wasteland.

"How much longer?" Engie whined tiredly. The sled was growing heavier with each footstep.

"Almost there!" Sana said excitedly from Pilot's shoulders. Pilot, claiming she needed to train her flying skills, offered to be her plane. Snippy, wanting to remind them this was still a dangerous area and measures had to be taken to not draw unwanted attention, kept his mouth shut remembering his spat with her the previous day. Instead, he settled for pouting and glaring daggers at the back of Pilot's head.

"You're getting to the point of pathetic, Charles." Engie managed through panting breaths.

"We've already heard your opinion, and quite honestly I don't want to hear the bu-"

"There it is! Home sweet home!" Again Snippy had been cut off for the umpteenth time. As promised, across the graveyard of houses lie the small only slightly dilapidated house on the hill.

"Finally!" Engie breathed a sigh of relief glad the trip was almost over. He picked up the ropes again and went to step forward only to meet Snippy's arm. "Huh?" Snippy motioned him to be quiet.

"Stop. Get down." Snippy's rushed whisper alerted everyone, causing him to be the center of attention, but he didn't notice the stares. He dropped to the ground, his rifle poised and ready. Sana, Pilot, and Engie followed his lead with Captain still simply watching.

"What is wrong, Mr. Snippy?" Captain asked quizzically, cocking his head to the side for emphasis. Snippy simply brought a finger to his gas mask as a sign to hush then pointed across the wastes . All eyes followed the direction of his focus.

There, about half a mile away, a figure dressed in black could be seen walking across the path slowly.. Snippy looked through his scope, trying to get a better view.

Long dark robes covered him completely though they were shaggy and unkempt. A low hood covered his face keeping snippy from seeing him. One thing that really caught Snippy's attention however was the way it moved across the ruins. There was no jarring motion as it effortlessly made its way over broken beams and shattered glass. It almost seemed as if it was gliding rather than walking.

"Oh! Wonderful job yet again Mr. Snippy! You have found yet another minion!"

"Damnit, Captain, no!" Snippy tried to keep Captain from drawing its attention but it was too late, the figure stopped.

"Hello there, friend! Welcome to Captainia!" Captain was talking loudly beginning to walk toward the thing. The thing, noticing Captain, suddenly bolted towards him.

"It's them… the head." Snippy looked at Sana who had spoken so quietly he almost hadn't heard her, her goggles, flashing blue and red.

He didn't have time to ask. He looked back at the creature barreling towards Captain, a quarter of a mile away now, its robes billowing out behind him in a manner that made it look like it was floating. Snippy lined up his scope, aiming as it came closer. 'Not floating. That thing has more than two legs!' His breath caught in his throat and he knew this wouldn't end well. Aiming steadily, he fired, piercing the thing in the chest. The force of the shot threw it backwards, causing it to land on the ground.

"Birdy…" Sana's eyes were wide from seeing the hooded figure plowing toward them.

Captain, a few yards from Snippy now, looked back at him. "Well, that wasn't a very good way to greet a new friend. Go kiss and make up."

Snippy sighed angrily, standing up again, leaving the wide-eyed Sana and Engie behind. He went to stand in front of Captain. "That thing was going to kill you!"

"Birdy…"

"How do you know it did not want to just say 'Huloo?'" Captain crossed his arms, the tea teetering on the edge of his mug threatening to spill out.

"Are you serious right now?" Snippy gripped his rifle tightly, his hands turning white with the force.

"Birdy…"

"Listen to Captain you old shoe! Go apologize!" Pilot, copying Captain's stance, took his side faithfully.

"I can't believe you guys are stupid enough to think that that thing was just going to come over here and-"

"BIRDY!"

"What?!" Snippy snapped at Sana turning irritably toward the girl that was so insistent on having his attention.

"Behind you!" She was standing there pointing, her voice shrill with terror. Snippy turned around only to see black mass a mere twenty yards away. "Go for the head!"

He brought his rifle up. The creature's hood had fallen back, allowing Snippy to see two fingerlike mandibles twisting in front of a vertically oriented mouth with jagged ill-placed teeth. It's white face was splattered with black liquid dribbling from its mouth. Two large slit-like caves played down what Snippy assumed was the sides of his face leaving a blank spot where eyes should have been. Without hesitation, Snippy fired again, this time directing his bullet through its skull.

Again, the beast went down. Not wanting to chance it again, Snippy ran the few yards toward it, placing another two bullets into its head. He raised his own head looking again at Captain.

"Those things make horrible minions," was all Captain said before continuing to walk toward the house again. "Walk with me Tochter."

Sana, stood for a second, still coming to grips with what had just occurred, then she straightened herself out and began walking toward Captain.

Snippy stopped her for a second, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Her goggles flashed an icy blue as she looked down at his hand, then red as she lifted her face to look at him. Silent for a moment more she then pulled away, smacking his hand away with her own. "Don't touch me ever again." She continued on, catching up with Pilot and Captain.

Snippy watched her walk off, again confused. "What the hell'd I do now?"

Engie stepped up beside him, still slightly shaken by the recent events. "You know how she kept trying to get your attention earlier?"

"Yeah." Snippy turned his head to Engie.

"And you ignored her?"

Snippy stayed quiet, his cheeks turning slightly warm.

"Then when you finally did acknowledge her you sounded pretty much like an ass?"

"I wasn't upset with her!" Snippy quickly defended himself. "I was arguing with Captain and Pilot again, of course I was gonna sound kind'a mad!"

Engie shook head, sighing. "You still have a lot to learn about women. Help me with the sled so we can get to that house before another one of them shows up." He motioned to the dead creature on the ground before walking to grab the sled.

Snippy sighed, turning to watch the trio get further away, Sana's short frame standing out rather noticeably from Captain's and Pilot's. 'I'm never going to get this right, am I?' he thought to himself turning to go help Engie with the sled.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard the quiet, yet honest, retort of his subconscious: 'Nope.'

Been dazed and confused for so long it's not true.

Wanted a woman, never bargained for you.

Lot of people talk and few of them know,

soul of a woman was created below.

"Dazed and Confused" -Led Zeppelin