Spiritual Misadventures

By:Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Five: Training

Roshi's jaw remained on the beach for a good three minutes. The bald old man had just felt the strongest ki in his life. This boy is powerful!! He thought as he slowly brought his chin off the sand. He could easily win any tournament I put him in!! But the fact that he's part monkey might make it difficult to get him registered.

Vegeta grinned. Got him impressed. I'll be trained in the use of some powerful ki techniques in no time... not that I need it or anything.. Heh catapult.

Roshi then composed himself. "Now then, you think you are good enough to be trained by me hmm?"

Vegeta stared unamused at the man's attempt to regain face. "I know I'm good enough, and you damn well know it too."

"Hmm.... caught onto my act." Roshi muttered under his breath. "Alright then. First off you need to find me a beautiful girl." the perverted martial artist declared.

Vegeta stepped back and motioned to Shira. "Done."

Roshi pondered for a second. "Too young... I need some lady who is around 20 to 24 and blonde."

Vegeta groaned. Now I have to go do work.

Shira looked on in confusion. "What just happened there Vegeta... DID YOU JUST OFFER ME OVER TO THAT OLD MAN!!!??!!"

Vegeta nodded, still deeply in thought as Shira's fist impacted sharply with the back of his cranium. Vegeta staggered, but still remained standing as just as pensive as before. "Hmmm..... 23 blonde...... hmmmm." Without a warning he started to levitate and float back towards the mainland. "Hmmmm...."

An hour later Vegeta floated back with a squirming, busty, blonde girl of about 23 years of age. "LET GO OF ME YOU FLOATING MONKEY BOY!!!!!" She screamed as she started kicking at him, noticing that she was near land.

Vegeta sighed and dropped her into the water about 20 feet out from shore, to which she quickly swam. Roshi greeted her, his eyes twinkling madly as he grabbed hold of her as soon as she got to shore and copped a feel or two as he helped her up. "Hello my darling, so nice to see you."

"WHERE AM I???!!! WHO ARE YOU!!!???! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!" She screamed as she pushed Roshi's hands away from her chest.

Roshi backed up and composed himself. "My name is Master Roshi, you are on my island. That is my student... umm I didn't catch your name...."

"Vegeta... and the violent chick is Shira."

Roshi looked at the pair. "Well... welcome to Roshi training.... ummm what's your name my dear?" Roshi said as he turned his focus to the blonde woman.

Before the woman could answer, Vegeta cut in. "Actually I'm leaving" He said, "... you bore me.... I thought there would be more antics."

Roshi forgot the woman. "Huh!?! B-But.... you just passed the first test!"

"And it sucked.... I'm leaving before I have to deliver milk or whatever community service bullshit was the next test." Vegeta said nonchalantly as he turned his back on the old master. He turned his head back at the confused martial artist. "And I'm taking the chicks with me." With that he fully spun around, thrust one hand in the air and stabbed the other vertically across his chest, making 'West-side' symbols with both hand and raising one leg in a dramatic kick. "PIMPING!!!!" He then gathered the girls up and flew back to shore before the man could respond.

"Weird..."

"Excuse me? Are you Master Roshi?" A small voice asked.

"Huh!?! WHAT!?! WHO'S TALKING!?!" The turtle master exclaimed looking increasingly confused. Finally his eyes settled on the young boy who was talking to him. "Oh." Master Roshi said, attempting to regain composure by dusting himself off.. "You must be attempting to be my new student."

"Yup!" The boy declared enthusiastically.

"Hmm.... to bad... I already have a student... he just doesn't know it yet!" With that Roshi walked into his cabin and closed the door, leaving a dejected young Goku out on the beach.

Meanwhile, inside the cabin!!!

"That boy is so intriguing!! I must train him! Then I will finally have someone who can compete against that Tienshinnan and his midgetty buddy whatshisname!" Roshi stopped, and then started to pace and think. "But how to get that boy to be my student....."

That same day in their sewer hideout, Slick and Greasy had formulated their plot to defeat the pointy haired kid who could jump higher than them.

"Ok Slick." Greasy started, as he ran his hand over his disgustingly shiny hair. "Alls we gotta do is figure out a way to increase our jumping power ten fold, then that little brat will have to give us all of his money!"

"Good plan Greasy!" Slick said, as he motioned for a high five.

The pair high fived.

"YEAH!... now alls we gotta do is figure out how...." Greasy said. With that the pair started walking around each other in perfect circles in the same pose, one hand stroking their chin, and the other running a comb through their hair.

Just then Slick stopped, turned one hundred and eighty degrees and looked Greasy straight in the eyes. "I'VE GOT IT!!" He exclaimed, pumping one fist in the air. "WE'LL LOOK FOR DRAGONBAIL!!"

"Huh? What's a dragonbail?" Greasy asked.

Slick grinned. "Ha! You don't know what dragonbail is?" Slick continued when Greasy shook his head no. "Dragonbail is made of seven orbs that are all over the place. Once you gather em up you've made dragonbail."

Greasy nodded and smiled like he knew what was going on. "Awesome!!... but what does having dragonbail do?"

Slick's grin turned into a disturbing ear to ear smile. "Once you have the dragonbail, you get to make one call to the mighty dragon Shenmue.... and for letting him out of dragonjail he'll grant a wish! We could wish that we could jump the highest! Then we'd get all that kid's money!!"

"AND THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY!!!" Greasy yelled.

"Yeah... let's just hope my grandma wasn't lying to me when she told me this tale... she wasn't all that trustworthy with tales." Slick said as he made the sign of smoking the ganja with two fingers in front of his mouth and making loud inhaling sounds.

"Aaaahhh..." Greasy said, mimicking Slick.

"Yeah... maybe we can go visit those crazy people who make cars that fit in bottles so they can make us a dragonbail finder... they're good at stuff like that!" Slick stated enthusiastically

Greasy nodded. "Yeah they made my dad a muffin tray that could fit in a bottle."

"Wow..." Slick stated, completely awestruck.

"Yeah."

At that same time Vegeta and Shira searched the streets of Orange Star City for housing. "I've got it!!" Exclaimed Vegeta.

"What?" Shira asked, as she rooted through a local newspaper.

"We can summon Shenron!!"

"Who?" Shira asked, not truly caring.

"The Dragon... in the balls.... Dragonballs.... He can grant wishes and stuff!" Vegeta then began to do a little victory dance, but stopped when a lecherous old man started staring at him. "Anywho, we could get anything we wanted.... a house... immortality.... infinite power... the resurrection of planet Vegeta.. Whatever we wanted."

Shira looked excited. "We could undo Freeza's destruction?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I don't see why Shenron would not grant that wish.... unless planet Vegeta has been destroyed before...."

Shira shook her head. "It couldn't have been, how would it have gotten recreated?"

"Dunno, maybe other dragonballs... oh well.. We won't know till we find these Dragonballs eh?" Vegeta asked with a smirk. "We'll just drop by Capsule corps and ask if they have a dragonball radar we could buy or borrow or whatever."

Shira smiled from ear to ear. "Sounds great!"

"Yup.... but first some Chubba Chunkies!" Vegeta said as he picked up Shira and began flying towards his old warehouse.

Later that same day outside the Capsule Corp head office Vegeta and Shira stood triumphantly, Dragonradar in hand, ready to embark on their epic quest of epic proportions. "Well, I guess all that's left is getting to it."

"It was excellent how you just walked in and punched out that blue haired girl then stole her Dragonradar!.. But how did you know that she would have it? I mean, she looked like your everyday prostitute." Shira asked as the pair began to walk away form the building as paramedics started to arrive.

"Instinct my dear Shira, every detective gets at least one undeniable hunch per case and that my dear, was the one!" Vegeta exclaimed as he punctuated his sentence by thrusting his arm in the air.

"Huh... Ok... well... let's get started then." Shira said, looking very confused.

"Let's." Vegeta said, his arm still in the air.

"You can put your arm down..."

"Ok..."

Slightly later than that Slick and Greasy arrived on the scene at the Capsule Corp office only to find it taped up with police tape. "Wow... somebody musta hit it first Slick." Greasy said.

Slick stroked his freshly shaved chin with one hand and ran his other hand over his slicked hair. "I guess so Greasy.... musta been that kid!"

Greasy nodded and mimicked Slick. "Of course.... he musta listened in when we talked about the Dragon Bail... HE MUST WANT THE DRAGON BAIL FOR HIMSELF!!!" Greasy exclaimed as he threw his arms in the air frantically.

Slick failed to lose his cool. "Calm down Greasy, I already knew he'd be after the Dragon Bail... who wouldn't... the dragon is a powerful ally... who wouldn't want a dragon, or the wishes for that matter."

Greasy instantly calmed down. "Your right Slick... of course he'd want the dragon."

Slick nodded. "I think he already has it though.... he must be the keeper!" Slick exclaimed, as though surprising himself.

"Huh?"

"The keeper!! He's the keeper!! He's the one who is holding the dragon in Dragon Jail!! That's why he could jump so high!!" Slick said as his realization swept over the pair like a foul breeze.

Greasy blanched. "No... then... we can't get the Dragon Bail except from him?"

Slick looked at his friend as though he had just farted. "No... we have to give the Bail to him. When you bust me out of jail do you give me bail? No! You pay the officer in front! He is the officer in front for the dragon. He may not be the one who has the Bail, but he'll know where we can get the bail for the dragon's release!" Slick explained in his second realization of the day.

Greasy nodded. "So let's find the kid!"

Slick turned to fully take in the Capsule Corp building. "But why would he go to Capsule Corp?"

"Might have been another person looking for Dragon Bail?" Greasy said, unsure of himself.

"Maybe, But maybe he wanted to stop some research on the Dragon Bail finder we were looking for."

"Hmm... Maybe." Greasy said as he performed the stroking/slicking maneuver that he and Slick were known for save that he alternated hands, thus earning him the name Greasy for his greased chin.

"Anyway, we should come back tomorrow and ask some scientists about the Dragon Bail finder." Slick said as he turned away from the building and started to head back towards the pair's ultra secret apartment hideout in Slick's Mom's basement (Note: the apartment hideout is more secretive than the sewer hideout, mostly because Slick's mom makes them muffins).

Greasy gave one longing stare at the Capsule building and followed his hetero life mate.

End of Chapter.

Author's notes: (Sorry it's taken so freaken long! I've been living throguh the busiest part of my existence as of late, plus I sorta... kinda... forgot about SM til JB Cotterell (Hope I spelt that right) re-informed me today over MSN. So people who read this can thank him with the bottoms of their heart, and thank me with their top parts of their hearts for continuing this story. I'm sorry if some of it diverts from series lore, but that's the point. That and I'm writing out of a bottle of Jack Daniels. Oh well... all the good writers are alcoholics, so I might as well become and alcoholic in hopes of becoming a good writer. chortle Well, that's all from me... expect another chapter slightly sooner than this one was released... Well, happy trails.)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts most of his stories on or