Spiritual Misadventures

By:Evan McNeely

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but my ideas and myself, take them and die.

"Speech" Thoughts Emphasis

(My notes)

Chapter Nine: Side Story

Slick and Greasy walked home dejected. "We didn't get his money Greasy..." Slick said, his head hanging limp to his chest.

Greasy moaned. "Nope... he sure fooled us too... we couldn't even rob that convenience store with our jumping powers...."

Slick let out a similar moan. "Nope... the guy just laughed at us and told us to piss off before he called the cops... I can still hear his haunting laughter."

"We've been had Slick.... We've been had..."

Slick just nodded. How could we have been so wrong 'bout that kid being the keeper? It was so perfect, he had crazy jumping skills just like grandma said the keeper might have... the keeper had so much power.... and powers like money sorta... and the kid had lotsa money...

Greasy groaned. "Why not end it all?... the quest for the keeper... the dragonbail... everything.."

Slick turned to his friend, a strange fire burned in his eyes. "Because we failed once means we won't fail again!!!" Slick hollered, startling his friend. "When I failed grade 1, I didn't fail the next time... did I!?" He demanded.

"Nope... you were the best at nap time in the whole school." Greasy affirmed.

Slick nodded. "And Grade 2? Same question."

"Nope... you passed addition better than even that nerd kid did." Greasy said, sounding more confident.

"High school?"

Greasy's face drooped back into a depressed look. "You dropped out."

Slick smiled. "I tried to drop out once and what happened?"

Greasy cocked an eyebrow, intrigued at where his friend was going with his recent comment. "Your Grandma beat the crap out of you till you went back."

"And the second time I tried to drop out?"

"You dropped out successfully... your Grandma hit you till she passed out from the pain the arthritis caused, but you stayed out of school!" Greasy said, sounding cheery.

Slick gave his friend the wink gun (consisting of making the gun shape with your hand and winking at the person as you 'shoot' them with your gun hand). "That's right!! TWO TIMES THE CHARM!!!"

With that Greasy and Slick preformed their classic high five. Once they were grounded again Greasy began to look skeptical again. "But how are we gonna get the dragonbail? We've been looking for like fifteen years and we've spent almost all of that time skulking around cause we didn't get no super jumping powers!" He exclaimed.

"Don't worry my buddy! I've got a doodad that'll fix our problems!" Slick said as he produced a white, circular device with a green LCD grid on the front there were seven glowing dots spread out all over the screen.

"A.... dragonbail finder?" Greasy asked, dumbfounded. "How'd ja get it?"

"Found it on top a some apartment building." Slick said proudly. "I was gonna test if my jumping power would work off a high place... like maybe I could bounce or something... then I got distracted by this thingy... I took it to Capsule Corp the next day and they told me it'd find dragon's balls."

"Why would anyone wanna find a dragon's nuts?" Greasy asked.

Slick just shrugged. "I dunno... them scientists are weird. But anywho... I figured out that the 'dragon's balls' was scientist slang for dragonbail."

Greasy looked at his friend in awe. "How'd ja figure that out Slick?" He asked, his mouth agape.

"My own logical thinking... I figured... scientists are weird... and like dragon testicles... but what would a dragon want the most as bail for another dragon?... the answer... His balls!! I'd trade my balls for someone who was in jail no second guessen!" Slick said nodding furiously .

Greasy nodded as well, but slower. "Yeah.. I guess that makes sense... so let's get started on finding this dragon's balls."

Slick nodded. "Yeah, let's go. Grandma has one again, so we only need to find six."

"It's kinda weird how your grandma keeps gettin dragon's balls Slick." Greasy said, cocking an eyebrow at his friend.

Slick just grabbed an imaginary cock an started to suck it looking at his buddy with a half smile on his face. "That's how she gets em." He said as he finished his invisible fellatio.

"You're grandma's a slut." Greasy said without skipping a beat

"Yup... but it pays for the house." Slick said, completely unfazed. "But's it's kinda weird she'd suck off a dragon with seven balls... and the fact that he numbers them..."

Greasy shuddered. "Freaky. Well... let's get a move on... that dragon's rocks ain't gonna come to us."

And with that Slick and Greasy began their quest for the Dragonballs.

Back in the hyperbolic time chamber, Vegeta narrowly ducked under a punch Shira had just thrown. He responded with a sweeping kick in an attempt to trip the female saiyan who jumped it and threw a kick of her own aimed at the saiyan prince's head. He blocked with his forearm, but the power of the kick sent him skidding five feet away. Using the distance to gain momentum he lunged at Shira, punching at her mid-section. Vegeta connected with nothing as Shira sidestepped and kicked catching Vegeta in the ribs and winding him as well as sending him slightly airborne. Shira took the opportunity and leapt into the air above Vegeta and brought her elbow down on his back, sending him plummeting to the ground. He ungracefully connected with the ground, skidding away from Shira a good ten feet before he forced himself to get up and lunge again at the falling girl. His punch was blocked and the pair started to exchange blows while still airborne, the momentum of their battle and their chi keeping them at a slow drift downwards. Neither one of them gained any advantage over the other, then Vegeta pushed away and launched a light chi ball, which Shira deflected away with a well timed backhand. Shira gracefully touched down and got into a loose fighting pose. Vegeta smiled and did the same, wiping away the bloody saliva that had dribbled down his chin, he then spat away from Shira.

"Wanna call it old timer?" Shira asked.

Vegeta grinned. "Hardly."

With that Shira lunged towards Vegeta, who vanished from sight, causing Shira to stop abruptly. Vegeta grinned as he tapped Shira on the shoulder and drove his knee into her back. She crumpled to the floor, landing on her hands and knees. Vegeta hopped backwards to avoid retaliation. "I would've had you there... the fight would've ended... so I'll end it for today."

Shira coughed against the back of her hand, and when she found no blood got up. "Fair enough... are we going to talk about you being Evan again? I found that kinda interesting."

Vegeta grinned as he set foot on the marble flooring of the palace. "Maybe... but you've got the basics of what happened... I got shot, so I died... something happened with a catapult thingy and I got launched here... now I'm Vegeta, and I live this life... I guess I didn't need to tell you, but I thought it'd help you understand where I'm coming from."

Shira smiled, a smile Vegeta was coming to cherish. "It has helped... I've backed off a bit if you've noticed."

Vegeta nodded as the pari entered the kitchen. "Yes, you've been very good about being on your side of the bed and not hitting on me half as much as before."

"Good... I'm glad you noticed." She said with a laugh. "Though at this age most saiyans would be copulating like mad.... I wouldn't be surprised if Kakorotte has like three children by the time we leave here... when do we leave anyway?"

"In a couple more months... we've been in here like what? Four? Five months now? So seven more months should do it." Vegeta said as he started to make some peanut butter and jam sandwiches. "And I don't envy Kakorotte at all for what he has to bed."

"Kakorotte has an ugly lover?" Shira asked, intrigued to hear more about her world from Vegeta's series knowledge.

"Not ugly... just domineering... At one point she demands, even though he can fly, that he learn to drive!" Vegeta exclaimed, chuckling to himself.

"Like... a spaceship? Do they even have spaceships on this primitive world?" Shira asked curiously.

Vegeta smirked. "Yeah.. They have pretty decent spaceships... nothing at all like our pods, and nothing as grand as Freeza's ship... but Kakorotte wasn't learning to drive a spaceship rather he was to learn to drive a car..." He paused as Shira gave him a befuddled look. "Umm... how to explain this... a land based vehicle capable of travel at speeds greater than running."

Shira laughed heartily. "So Kakorotte's lover wanted him to use a car instead of flying? Did he kill her for her ignorance or something suiting like that?"

"No... he ended up racing a Namekian, a good friend of his named Piccolo, and when they both crashed their cars the instructors failed them both. Chi-Chi, Kakorotte's wife, didn't ask him to learn to drive again." Vegeta said as he ate his sandwich.

Shira contemplated this. "Kakorotte seems to have adopted the softness of your former race Vegeta... I'd almost think someone else died and took over his body."

Vegeta shook his head. "Nope, but like you originally thought with me, He hit his head during the crash."

Shira nodded. "Makes sense." She said as she finished off her sandwich.

Well.. She hasn't fully changed. Vegeta noted as he started towards the bathroom. I guess that's a good thing though... the aging process didn't completely warp her personality. He then began absentmindedly stripping down in the hallway leading up to the bathroom, being as uncaring about his nudity as Shira seemed to be.

Shira watched him go. Once we get out of here I'll have to find this Kakorotte... If he's half as strong as Vegeta keeps telling me, he'll be a great match to celebrate our new age... Raditz and Nappa should be wandering around out there too... I hope they didn't destroy too much of this world... I'm starting to get a soft spot for it... Shira thought as she started to wash the knives used to make the sandwiches. Of course... Goku and his friends could just take care of it, providing Vegeta is right about them... although if they did fight Nappa or Radditz.. I'm sure the bald Krillen one would die, judging by what Vegeta told me. She thought to her self as she dried the dishes. She heard the shower turn on down the hall and sighed. Why won't he let me be with him the way I want to?... Oh well... I have seven months to change his mind and if I have to go naked for seven months just to provoke him into the sack I'll do it! She thought as a determined look set across her face. Wow... my mind has aged... before all I could think about is getting a wedding band on his finger... now all I want is some bed play... strange... not unwelcome, but definitely strange. Shira then went to the bedroom to ponder this more as Vegeta continued his shower.

End of Chapter

Author's Notes: (Romance!! Comedy!! Fighting!! What more could anyone want!?! Death? Dismemberment? Dismemberment of Death? Romantic Fighting?.... that I could do... lol... none the less.. SM is continuing as planned... getting a little out of hand with the Shira/Vegeta side, but Slick and Greasy is going better than planned... everything is coming so well to me right now... hence the 2 chapters in a day kinda flow... I'll work on the length of the chapters next... but until then you may bask in my frequent updates. Peace out.)

Evan McNeely can be reached at and posts his work on and