I'm so happy everyone took the twist alright. I wasn't sure how everyone was going to react to it. But the reaction I got was definitely a relief.
Before you read the chapter I just want to say that I never really liked the whole idea of imprinting...well, not how SM explained it anyways. So this chapter is partially my own little twist on imprinting. Hopefully you all like it and it makes sense to you.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything...well, except for the plot I guess. Oh, and now, I also happen to own Mina.
Chapter 6
When I woke up the next morning, I was just as tired as I had been the morning before. I had tossed and turned all night. But this time it wasn't because of a nightmare. Well, it sort of was. Knowing that Jacob had imprinted and that he was lost to me in all ways other than us just being friends for the rest of our lives was a nightmare that came to life for me. I shouldn't feel like I do about it, though. I left him. I had no right to feel sad or be jealous. I missed my chance. I left, he was heartbroken, he met his soul mate, and he imprinted. End of story. There was nothing for me to do about it. Or that I could do for that matter.
I knew it was bound to happen. He was bound to imprint no matter what. It would've happened sooner or later, anyways, whether I stayed or not, wouldn't it have? So that was another reason I shouldn't be sad or jealous. Well okay, sad, yes. Despite knowing that it was going to happen sooner or later, it still didn't lessen the blow that I felt had been dealt to me. I might as well have been hit over the head with a brick or something. Although, my heart already felt like it had been ripped out of my chest, shipped to Paris, and dropped from the Eiffel Tower only to shatter into a million pieces by time upon hitting the ground. Feeling like this sucked more than my life itself at times.
Which brings me to another thing. Jacob had every chance in the world to tell me, but he didn't. What the hell?! As if my heart wasn't already shattered now that I knew he was imprinted. It repaired itself for only a moment before it reshattered itself at the fact that I had to find out about his imprint from someone I barely knew. Why the hell didn't he tell me? He should've told me! No reason in the world would be good enough to explain to me why he hadn't told me he imprinted. What, was I not deserving enough to hear it from his own mouth as opposed to someone else's?
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a noise at my window. My eyes flew open and I gasped as I saw someone standing over me. Instinctively, one of my hands flew up to where my heart was suppose to be. Well what was left of it anyway. I was waiting for the shipment back from Paris that would have contain my shattered heart pieces for me to puzzle piece back together. It took me a moment, but I realized that it was just Leah standing over me and that I had no reason to get scared or anything about seeing a figure standing over me.
"What are you doing here, Leah?" I asked once I found my voice.
" I came to check up on you," she answered, crossing her arms.
"Oh," was all I said as I sat up and slowly brought my knees up to my chest.
I wonder if she knew that I knew about Jacob imprinting. Had Mina or Emily said something to anyone after I left so abruptly last night?
"Everything okay, Swan?" she asked me as she eyed me questioningly.
I'll take that as a no, neither Emily or Mina said anything to anyone after I left.
"You're acting strange. And you left pretty quickly last night," Leah went on when I said nothing.
"Jacob imprinted?" was all that came out when I opened my mouth to speak. It sounded more like a question than anything even though I already knew the answer.
"Oh, that," Leah said with a sigh as she sat down on the edge of my bed. "So then you know about Elena now?"
I flinched at her name and if it was even possible brought my legs closer to me and laid my head down on my knees.
Leah noticed my flinch. "Sorry. My bad."
"It's fine," I said, shaking my head.
Jacob imprinted. I was going to have to learn to live with it if I still wanted to be in his life.
"Why didn't he tell me?" I asked, holding back tears that started to quiver in my eyes.
"It's complicated," Leah said, avoiding my gaze.
I scoffed at her. "Yeah, of course, it is," I replied sarcastically.
Leah looked up at me then and I saw a look that I wasn't use to seeing in her eyes. She felt bad; she felt sorry for me. "You need to talk to him," was all she said.
"I don't know," I whispered, looking down and playing with a loose strand of string on my pajama tank top.
"Seriously, Swan? You're really going to do this again?" Leah asked, taking me by surprise, jumping up from my bed and turning to face me.
I looked up at her, confused by her sudden reaction. "Do what again?"
"Don't run away and go back into hiding now, Swan. Be the strong, confident girl you've been lately and just confront him about it. Otherwise, you're never going to be able to get past it," she told me in a demanding tone of voice, not bothering with giving me a choice.
"Does Jacob know I know?" I asked.
Leah shook her head. "No one does. I mean, except for whoever told you about El..." she stopped herself this time and for that I was thankful. "Her," Leah corrected herself.
"They really didn't tell anyone?" I was surprised. Not even Sam or Seth? Interesting.
"No, everyone just assumed you weren't feeling well like you told Seth."
"I don't think I could handle the imprint conversation with Jake...Jacob," I admitted. Oh, gosh. I couldn't even just call him Jake anymore. What was wrong with me? I didn't like this at all.
"Don't you even, Swan. He put up with so much from you for a long time. You don't think he could honestly handle the conversations you had when you told him he wasn't enough or that you chose that leech over him. Those weren't easy for him, but he forced himself to go through them anyways. You can be a coward and hide. Or you can grow up and give Jacob the same treatment of respect he gave you." Leah was almost livid by time she had finished talking.
"I...I..." I couldn't get any other words out. I did not know what to say. I was speechless.
"I have to go," Leah said suddenly. "You best think about what I said, Swan," she told me before disappearing out my window the same way she came in.
I sat in the same position with my head resting on my knees for what felt like hours thinking everything through. It wasn't until the phone rang that I was shaken out of my speechless, zombie like state. Pushing and kicking the covers off of me, I got out of bed and went to answer the phone. I was quite shocked when I answered and Emily was on the line. Although, maybe I shouldn't have been so shocked. I should've expected a call from her to check on me sooner or later.
"Hi, Emily," I said into the phone.
"Bella, hi. How are you doing today?" she asked in a sincere tone of voice.
"To tell you the truth, I've been better," I answered, trying not to sound as down as I felt.
There was a silent pause for a moment before Emily spoke again.
"I was wondering if you would like to come over today," she offered.
"Umm..." I thought about it for a moment. I didn't have any plans for the day. "Yeah, sure," I said. "I'll be there in half an hour or so."
"Oh, good. We'll see you then."
We'll? Before I could ask who the we were she had hung up. Who's we? Oh, well, no point in wondering about who we is. I'll know soon enough. I hung up the phone and went to change into my clothes for the day before heading to Emily's.
~MP~
It was a little past 10:30 in the morning when I finally arrived at Sam and Emily's house. After parking and turning off my truck, I sat there for a couple of minutes with my head resting on the steering wheel thinking about so many things. I was a little hesitant about being there now. I know I had told Emily I'd come, but the closer I got to La Push on the drive over, the more I had began to freak out. What if the pack showed up at the house when I was there? I still wasn't sure if I wanted to have the imprint talk with Jacob just yet. I was scared out of my mind wondering about what he would say or do. I was even more scared of how I'd react. Would I break down and kick start Bella cry fest 2013? How embarrassing would that be?
I suddenly jumped and gasped when I heard a knock on my window. My head shot up from the steering wheel and I looked over to the window. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Emily there with a smile on her face. I reached down to the door handle and pushed my door open slowly. Emily backed up to let me get out. Once I got out and shut the door, Emily grabbed me and pulled me into a tight yet gentle hug.
"Everything okay?" she asked with concern written all over her beautifully scarred face when she pulled away.
Obviously I wasn't okay. It wasn't everyday that I found out my best friend who just so happened to be a werewolf had imprinted on someone that wasn't me. Wait, don't think that, Bella. You're still married. Oh, what the hell was wrong with me? One moment, I was feeling bad about missing my chance with Jacob. The next, I was suddenly still married, which was true...but still. It was like there were two Bella's. Jacob's Bella who was stepping up and voicing her thoughts clearly without second guessing. Then there was Edward's Bella, the Bella who I once had been, who was being outshined and kept quiet for the most part by Jacob's Bella, but who found her way out every so often at some of the worst time's possible.
Shaking my head and breaking myself out of my thoughts, I nodded my head to answer Emily's question. I was afraid to say anything because I knew I'd breakdown if I did speak. The "yes" lie would be oh so clear. Not that it wasn't already.
Emily smiled a genuinely sad yet hopeful smile at me. "Come on inside," she said, taking my hand and leading me to the house. "Mina's here," she informed me as we walked up the small set of stairs that lead up to the porch.
I had only just stepped into the house when my body was engulfed in an unexpected hug.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have slipped up like I did," Mina apologized profusely.
"It's fine, Mina," I assured her as I partly hugged her back. I still was not much of a hugger. I never was and I probably never would be. But there were times when I accepted them and hugged back. "It was honestly an accidental slip up. We all have them."
"Yeah, but this one ruins lives." Mina frowned, pulling away from me and turning to go back and sit down at the table, her head instantly going to lay in her hands.
"No, it doesn't, Mina." I tried my best at being reassuring as I sat down next to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
It killed me to see her blaming herself for me finding out like this. It was not her fault at all. She really did just accidentally slip up and reveal it to me. Everybody has moments like that once or twice in their lives. But it doesn't mean that feeling guilty was really necessary. It wasn't like somebody let it slip that someone else killed someone or anything. Mina had no reason to feel guilty. He should've told me the first chance he got. But he didn't. If anyone was to blame for me finding out how I did, it was him.
"Yes, it does," Mina argued as she lifted her head from her hands. "Everything was getting back to normal with you and Jake and then I slipped up and you found out about..." Mina stopped herself before she slipped up with her name again.
I shook my head in disagreement at her guilt ridden words. I refused to let her blame herself any longer. It really wasn't her fault. "Mina, It's not your fault. Really it's not. He should've told me," I said and then something broke in me suddenly. Tears began welling up in my eyes. "Why didn't he tell me? He should've told me. We're best friends for crying out loud. Best friends usually tell each other everything! He should've told me!" I exclaimed hysterically.
I felt Emily come up beside me and place a hand on my shoulder soothingly. "Bella, calm down. Don't work yourself up over this," she said in a gentle and calming tone of voice.
"Sorry," I apologized.
"It's fine," Emily said with a small smile.
"He just should've just me," I whispered.
Emily nodded her head, agreeing with me. "He should have."
"So why didn't he then?" I asked even despite knowing she probably wouldn't have an answer; I asked anyways just to get it off of my chest.
"I wish I knew. I wish I could help you understand what's going on better, but I can't," she answered honestly. "Only the pack knows exactly what is going on, but for some reason none of them will tell us what it is." She sighed.
That last part definitely got my attention. "Wait, they knew, too?!" I asked, my eyes widened in shock. "Of course they did," I answered my own question. "And none of them felt the need to inform me or at least try to talk Jake into telling me?!"
Emily tried to calm me down again by offering me a drink. "Can I get you something to drink, Bella?" she offered. "Coffee? Tea?"
I nodded. "Coffee, please." I was never much of a coffee drinker before, but ever since waking up from my coma, I'd been a coffee lover. Weird, but true.
Emily nodded and smiled going into the kitchen area to make some coffee.
"There's something deeper going on," Mina cut in before I could continue my tirade about the pack knowing but doing nothing to try and help the situation. Even though deep down I knew it wasn't exactly their place to get involved.
"What do you mean?" I asked; I was slightly taken off guard by what she said.
Mina just shrugged and answered, "Well, Seth didn't tell me much, but he did let it slip once...a few days ago...that something had changed with Jacob and Elena's imprint..."
I flinched at the mention of her name. I just couldn't stomach hearing her name right now.
"Sorry," Mina apologized quickly upon realizing her slip up of her name.
"It's fine," I waved it off, trying to be assuring. "What changed?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "He wouldn't say," Mina answered. "He stopped himself from saying anything else after that," she said and then looked away from me.
A part of me felt like I was being lied to. Both Emily and Mina knew more than they were letting on. I knew I should probably be a bit mad about it. But then when I thought about it more, maybe what they weren't telling me was something that they thought Jacob should tell me. They didn't want me to find anything else out from someone else when I should find it out from Jacob himself. I couldn't be mad at them because of that. It just wouldn't be right.
"Here you go, Bella," Emily said, walking back over to me and handing me a hot cup of coffee.
"Thanks," I smiled up at her taking the coffee and blowing on it before taking a sip.
Before I could even relax and enjoy my coffee, I heard voices outside. My breath hitched in my throat and I quickly put the coffee cup down out of fear that I would spill it all over myself if I didn't. Oh, god. It was going to happen right now. I was going to come face to face with Jacob for the first time since my revelation from the night before. This was too much. I suddenly wished that the floor would open up and swallow me whole. But I wasn't that lucky.
I stood up just as Jacob walked in. No one else mattered much in that moment. All I could see right then was him, but it wasn't for the reason I would have liked it to be. It was because I was trying to see if he had changed. Before last night he was still the same old Jacob. My Jacob. But now that I knew he had imprinted, I wondered if I'd be able to tell from the outside. Did he look like someone else's Jacob now?
My thoughts were interrupted when I felt Jacob's arms around me. I honestly wanted to hug him back. But I couldn't bring myself to do so. I knew I'd end up breaking down if I did.
When he realized I wasn't responding to his hug, Jacob pulled away. With a concerned look on his voice and a tone of voice to match he asked, "Everything okay, Bells?"
"Depends on your definition of okay," I found myself answering.
Jacob frowned. "Leah mentioned you had something to talk to me about," he said suddenly.
Of course she did. She probably assumed that I'd change my mind and back out, which is partly true because all I wanted to do was run and hide right now. I was absolutely afraid of how the conversation...confrontation...or whatever it would be would go. But now that Leah had said something I had to talk to him.
I avoided eye contact with him and said, "Yeah, we should talk."
It was now or never.
"Okay," Jacob said, nodding in understanding.
I walked past him and went outside fully knowing that he would follow me. Just have to rip the band aid off. Staying facing away from him I got straight to the point. "Were you ever going to tell me about Elena?" I asked, trying to keep myself calm.
I could sense him freeze behind me without even looking at him. "How do you know about Elena?" he asked as he completely passed over my question.
"Answer my question first," I insisted.
Jacob sighed. "I don't know."
Really now Jacob? What a great answer. Insert sarcasm!
"You don't know?" I scoffed. "Why wouldn't you? I'm your best friend! Don't you think this is the type of thing to tell your best friend?" I asked, turning abruptly to face him.
"You're more than just a best friend to me and you know it," he said, which did not exactly help his case.
At first, I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "It is basically still the same thing," I said after a moment.
"It doesn't matter anymore. Elena and I aren't together anymore," he replied as if that made a difference.
"That still does not answer my question, Jacob," I sighed in frustration, crossing my arms tightly over my chest.
"It just wasn't that big of a deal!"
My eyes widened. Did he really just actually say that? "You imprinting was not a big deal? How is that not a big deal?! You've found your imprint...your life mate! That is a big deal!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in the air as if to say I give up.
Why did he make it seem like it meant nothing? Like everything was okay? It made no sense. Not even in the slightest.
"No, it's really not," he argued as he paced back and forth in front of me.
"How can it not be?" I asked, wondering if there was more to the situation for me to understand that he wasn't telling me.
He stopped pacing abruptly and finally admitted, "Because it was broken."
Broken? Did I hear that right?
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, trying to figure out if I was hearing things or if I was actually hearing right.
"The imprint was broken," Jacob repeated, walking up to me and placing his hands on my upper arms.
"Wha...how? I thought that imprints are for life?" I was honestly confused. None of this was making any sense at all.
"They are. But everyone seems to think that it was some sort of a secondary imprint," he said, only succeeding in confusing me even more.
"Secondary imprint?" That didn't even sound right. What the heck was that?
"I imprinted the day after you got married to...him. And the imprint broke a week and two days ago," he told me. That didn't seem to answer the question of what a secondary imprint was. But it still surprised me.
"Wait, what? You...it...but that coincides with when I woke up...what the hell?"
Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "No one really knows. It has never happened to anyone before."
"Does anyone have any ideas?" I asked curiously, hating not understanding what happened.
It was one thing to have amnesia, but to not know something that I easily could, it was another thing altogether and it sucked so much.
"There are a few."
"Well what are they?"
Jacob did not tell me right away. He dropped his hands from their positions on my arms and turned away from me. "Some think that you're suppose to be my real imprint."
My eyes widened, and my jaw dropped. I couldn't reply to that even if I tried. That's one way to drop a bomb on me. Nice going, Jacob.
Jacob continued to talk when I didn't say anything. "And that when you slipped into your coma, I imprinted on Elena because it wasn't known whether or not you'd wake up or not. For some reason the elders think that imprints happen one way or another no matter whether it's wanted or not. That's what everyone thinks the reason is behind why Elena and I stayed imprinted until you woke up."
I was speechless for so long after that. What the hell? What was I suppose to say to that? "How is that even possible? You didn't imprint on me like an imprint is suppose to happen," I wondered, working on wrapping my head around everything that I was being told.
"There is a theory on that as well."
"What's that?" I asked, wanting to know anything that could possibly help me understand all of this better.
"Your heart belonged to someone else at that time," he said almost too quiet for me to even hear.
"And it doesn't now?"
Jacob looked up at me. "I don't know, does it?
"I am not sure," I answered honestly.
I really wasn't. I may feel differently about Edward lately and he may annoy me a lot, but I still loved him. I couldn't just fall out of love with him at the snap of my fingers. It would take time. But I don't think I'd ever stop loving him. However, with time, I'm sure my heart would return to belonging to me instead of him. Then if everything went right, I could give it to Jacob if that's what I chose to do. If I was to be honest about it, Jacob is the only other person I could ever see myself giving my heart to. I know without a single doubt that he'd take very good care of it if and when I did.
~MP~
With my lack of sleep from the past two nights and my revelation during my conversation with Jacob earlier, it was no surprise that I crashed as soon as I got home that night. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I was pretty sure that it wasn't even dark out yet.
"You're mine! You're mine! You're mine! You're mine!" The voice got louder and louder every time it said the two word phrase.
I was running as fast as I could through the woods. It was as if the voice was following me. I knew it was the voice of the dark figure. But it was all muffled as if it had a mask on it's face blocking it's normal voice. So I couldn't place a name to the figure. I ran and ran, but no matter how fast I ran it was as if I could never get away from the figure and the voice.
I was being stalked by an unknown entity. It was like I was a game to it or something. Like I was a prize that it got to keep if it caught up to me or if it's words got into my head enough to make me lose my mind. I couldn't let it win. I could not fall into its trap. I had to get out of this alive. Whatever it was wasn't something I wanted to have anything to do with.
I ran as fast as my feet would take me until I heard a growl in front of me. I stopped dead in my tracks and swallowed the nervous lump that formed in my throat when I saw a glowing pair of eyes in front of me. The owner of the eyes looked at me intently, and then looked past me at the figure that was chasing me and it growled again.
The air around me suddenly felt lighter. I took a deep breath and turned and the figure was gone. When I turned back around the eyes were no longer there. I was alone again. Left to wonder what the dark figure was and who the eyes belonged to. They had looked so familiar. But for the life of me I just couldn't seem to put a face or name to the eyes.
I woke up with a start, breathing hard with my hand instinctively placed above my heart. What the hell was up with these nightmares? They always felt so real. Like they actually had some sense of reality to them. I was about to get up to get some water when I heard a voice from the corner of my room and almost jumped through the roof.
"What the...?" I started but then stopped when I realized that I recognized that voice. I looked towards where the voice came from and about lost it. "Edward!"
"Love, where's your wedding ring?" he asked, ignoring my surprise of finding him sitting there.
"It's obliviously somewhere other than on me," I snapped before I could stop myself.
Okay now, that was harsh even for the new and improved me. But it wasn't like I didn't have the right to be like that. What the hell was he doing in my room again? This isn't two years ago when I was young and naïve and didn't realize just how creepy being watched while I slept by someone who never slept himself was.
"Bella, why are you being like this?" he asked as he got up from the rocking chair.
"Being like what?" I asked him, not entirely sure what he was talking about.
"You're not yourself," he said.
I couldn't help but take some offense to that. "Actually, yes I am. This is the new and improved independent me, Edward. Learn to accept it...please." I added the last word just to prove that a part of the old me was still around.
"Bella..." he started.
I put a hand up to stop him. "Don't," I ordered him sternly. "I mean it, Edward."
Edward didn't reply and I was happy for it.
"Why are you here?" I asked after a moment.
"I told you before, Bella, you're my wife. I came back for you," he answered easily like he had been planning to say it for a while now.
When was he going to get it?
"I don't want you to come back for me, Edward!" I exclaimed, shaking my head. "There are some things I have to do on my own and this...being here...searching for answers and missing pieces of my memory...this is one of those things that I need to do on my own," I told him, hoping he'd stop being stubborn and just understand what I was saying already.
"Love..." he started.
That's it! It is like talking to a wall.
"Get out!" I yelled as loudly as I could without having to worry about waking Charlie up but loud enough to make my point to Edward.
"What?" Edward looked shocked and confused at my exclamation.
"I said get out, Edward!" I repeated, pointing to my open window. "Now!"
"But..."
"Now!" I hissed through clenched teeth. "You are not going to win this, Edward," I assured him. "Get out!"
"Win what?"
I rolled my eyes. "Go!"
About five minutes and a whole lot of back and forth later, he finally left defeated. I closed and locked the window before going to get some water and returning to bed with the hope that I would get at least some sleep without another bad nightmare reoccurrence.
Review, please? Let me know your thoughts! What are your thoughts on the imprint twist? And Bella's after talk revelation to herself? It warmed my heart while writing it!
Next chapter; More Leah/Bella interaction. Some more imprint talk. Also, Bella sees something in Port Angeles that brings back many memories and ends up impulse buying. What could it be? And how exactly does she buy it?