Dedicated to my tumblr friend, Lily. The prompt was: Imagine Person A of your OTP teaching Person B to kiss, and I filled it with Dave and Jade, of course.
You can see Dave's eyebrows furrow as he tries to explain how this should go down. He's leaning to you, but he's stopped to talk, obviously finding it difficult to put into words how one should get their "mack on."
"So you kind of, like, you know when you eat something sour and your lips pucker? Kinda like that but look less grossed out and be psyched about the spit-swapping that's about to go down."
You recoil back and stick your tongue out. "Ew. Not when you put it like that!"
"Okay, okay. I admit, that was not the best way to phrase that at that exact moment, but you know what I mean."
Your boyfriend motions you back over, so you lean closer to him once again, assuming "the position" or whatever.
"Dave, are you sure you know how to do this?"
"Of course I know how to do this."
"Yeah with what, your fifty-thousand-girlfriends-worth of experience." You say that ironically because you two are each other's first real boyfriend and girlfriend. Dave had a thing with Terezi in the 6th grade for about a week, but in that time they didn't really do much of anything.
"Exactly, so cool your jets and trust."
Just a bit too seriously you assure him, "You know I do."
It's fine though, because he calms down and for a second the both of you relax and smile at each other. The second passes and you speak up.
"So we lean in and pucker up? How fast do we go? When do we close our eyes? What if we close them too soon and we miss!"
"Relax missy." He pauses and frowns a little. "We uh, that all comes on instinct. Or uh, we can take a military approach and like, one person can stand watch while the other one's not looking, you know?"
Now you frown. "That doesn't sound romantic at all!"
"Jade, there is nothing more romantic than equating our lip smack down to war tactics. Lots of people do it. That's why the phrase goes 'All's fair in love and war.' They're practically the same thing. And kissing? Psh, you just ready, aim, fire. Bam, mack on."
"I can do that! The uh, shooting thing..."
"Okay, see? This is making so much sense already."
Dave is being ridiculous and hilarious as usual, and you can't help but laugh now. Leave it to him to make kissing so funny and complicated. Once you calm down you can see Dave's still there, leaning forward and waiting for you to do the same. You've been like this for twenty minutes already! Your neck is going to get stiff!
"Are we going to do this anytime soon?!" you ask, exasperated.
You see him smile, and it's all sorts of cocky as he says, "Keep it in your pants Harley. I know you wanna get all up in the Strider, but I didn't think you were that desperate."
You roll your eyes and lean in more naturally, challenging him. "You wish!"
"How about, at the count of three we both lean in and get this shit done."
"Alright, sounds good." Gulp. Now you're a little nervous.
"One..." he leans in and you suddenly panic. Are you supposed to lean in too now?!
"I thought you said we lean in at the count of three! As in, one, two, three, now lean!" You ramble the words out, they fumble around like the erratic bouncing of a football. The burst has caused both of you to draw back.
"Shit. Right. Sorry." Dave says precisely.
You both take a few moments to collect yourselves. When your eyes meet again, you feel more ready.
"Now that we're farther apart we can go lean in slow, okay?"
You nod.
"One," he repeats. The both of you move forward unsurely. You gulp again.
"Two..." you watch his mouth open and clo-
"Wait!" you say in a panic. This time the two of you don't back away, but stop abruptly. "Are we, um... do we, uh..."
"Spit it out."
It seems that the both of you didn't like that phrase at this exact moment. He catches this and corrects himself.
"I mean, just say what you want to say."
"Are we supposed to open our mouths or just keep them like this?" You purse your lips like a fish, but look at Dave with questioning eyes.
"I don't know? That's a good look on you, by the way. Really nice technique you got going for you. Anyways, I think that's like, advance stuff Harley. This is Kissing 101. Baby steps."
"Okay, mouths closed."
"Yeah..." Dave slowly bobs his head. "And don't forget to tilt your head or it'll be all, nostrils meeting and glasses clinking. Save that for the wedding reception."
You eyes widen and Dave seems to panic. "Which way are you going to tilt?"
That seems to have caught him off guard. Huh, wonder what he was panicking about...
"To the... right. The right sounds good. Can't go wrong with the right."
You tilt your head that way experimentally. "Like this?"
"Yeah, if we both go right then it'll be alright."
You grin now. "Don't think I didn't catch both of those cheesy puns, Dave!"
"Nope. They flew right past you. The ball is in my court and I'm going to dunk all because you did not make the catch."
Dave's jokes are so ridiculous, but you love the way he talks. You like how he rambles and manages to smooth out all the bumps. He makes you laugh so much sometimes that your sides hurt and you gasp for breath. This time you aren't left breathless, but you're smiling so wide that your cheeks feel stretched out.
"Just count to three, coolkid."
He lets out a breath and re-centers himself. "One."
"Two!" You say quickly with a big smile. You're suddenly excited despite the nerves.
He looks at you, his cheeks dusted pink. You can feel that yours are the same.
"I don't think this counting this is working out," he says and backs away, his hand covering his face. His voice is strained and for once he actually looks embarrassed.
"Dave Strider, are you nervous?" you ask all giddy.
You expect something ironic to come out of his mouth. He does not give that to you though. His face is too hot for his lips to form cool words.
He nods in such a pathetic way you find it adorable.
"Thank goodness!" you let out. "I'm so nervous I'm going to explode!"
"I know... I was trying to make it easy on you and know what I'm doing but I'm fucking nervous as hell."
Instinctively you wrap your arms around his neck. You're so happy right now you could just burst into confetti!
"No! I don't want to feel like I'm doing everything wrong and I'd ruin it by doing something stupid! That's why I asked all those questions."
He sighs into your hair, the tension in his shoulders easing up. "Jade, you are the best thing to ever exist in the universe. I do not want to be responsible for giving you the catastrophically worst kiss of all time."
"Saaaaame!"
The both of you pull away so you can see each other's faces. His arm around your waist is so secure and so nice... you remember how good it feels to be close to Dave. It would be nice to be closer. Mouth wise.
"How about, we kiss. And if we suck at it then we can say that we need a lot of practice?" There's a hint of a smirk that is infinitely comforting.
"Yes. Good. That sounds spectacular."
"Alright Jade Harley, are you ready for this?"
"I'm not sure!" you respond with bold honesty.
He laughs. "Yeah, me neither."
Then and there he kisses you. Or, you kiss him? Whatever! It was a group effort and now you are kissing Dave! Your lips are together, immobile. You feel sparkly, like soda bubbles and those little firework sparklers.
Then the kissing is over. The bubbles haven't stopped and they erupt from your mouth in laughter, but you kiss Dave again so now you're smiling as your lips meet. You can't keep it up for very long because your mouth spreads too wide so that your teeth show. You try to purse your lips back together, but now you feel Dave's lips stretched out. You move back 'cause you absolutely need to see if you're imagining things. You are not. Dave is smiling, your cheeks hurt from doing the same, and you've just kissed him thrice!
You cannot wait to do it again. And again. And again right now...