The next few hours went as smooth as Lizzie had hoped. The girls and the younger boys helped clean while the older boys set up the bath centre in the barn. After chores were done, Luke, Benny and Nate went fishing as they said they would leaving the others at the ranch. Morgan, Jake, EJ, Asher and tomboy Bridget all played in and around the treehouse, hollering and running after pretend bad guys in order to bring them to justice. Katie was on the front porch with Mary and Savannah helping to sew clothes for their dolls. And in the great room, Lizzie was sitting in Adam's blue chair writing in her diary while Maisy lay on the settee sketching pictures on a writing tablet. Yes everything was going smoothly indeed; that is until bath time arrived.
Benny, Luke and Nate had returned from their fishing break with enough Rainbow trout to feed an army and covered in dirt. Over the last few hours, the other children – with the exception of Lizzie and Katie – had managed to find a way to get dirt on them as well. Lizzie definitely had her work cut out for her if she was to get this brood and the house spic and span by the time Adam and the other men returned.
To add more concern, Jamie had yet to return from town. It seems that Jamie and his pal Willis had decided to lengthen their visit at one of the local saloons and responsibilities at home were the furthest from the young uncle's mind. If Jamie didn't come back to the ranch before Ben, Lizzie was afraid all hell would break loose. Adam would find out why Jamie left in the first place, thus leading Lizzie down the path which led to eternal spinsterhood.
After thirty minutes, Lizzie had finally gathered all her siblings and cousins in the great room of the house. "Alright everyone, listen up and listen up good!" she commanded in a loud voice. "The girls will be having their baths first, starting with Katie and Maisy. Mary, Bridget and Savannah will follow then I want Luke, Benny and Nate to scrub up. EJ, Henry and Morgan will go after, and then I will come in and make sure Jake and Asher get a good scrubbing."
"Why do we hafta go last?!" Jake glowered.
"Cuz you boys are the dirtiest of all us and we don't wanna go after you," laughed Maisy.
"Why don't you hafta take a bath, Lizzie?" Morgan questioned with a sour expression.
"I am having a bath, Morg. I will be bathing alone after the tub water is changed and after I know that everyone is clean and ready for church tomorrow," she assured her brother.
"And just why do you get to have fresh water and bathe alone when we have to be packed in like livestock?" Luke enquired irritably.
"It's cuz Lizzie has bosoms now like Ma does," giggled Mary.
"Mary Cartwright, you hold your tongue!" Lizzie snapped, looking as red as a beet.
"Yeah, Mary," Benny said with an appalled expression, "that's a little too much information."
"Well it's the truth, and Pa always says to tell the truth," she replied innocently.
"That's a little too much truth, Mary," Luke grimaced then turned and started for the front door.
"Where do you think you're going?" demanded Lizzie.
"Outside; don't think I can handle any more TRUTHS about you."
"You better be back to take a bath, mister, or so help you!" she warned.
"Yeah, yeah, don't get so riled up," Luke huffed as he stomped out the front door with Nate and Benny close behind.
"Alright girls," Lizzie began with a clap of her hands, "off to the barn for your baths, and I will be checking behind your ears so wash well."
Katie and Maisy rolled their eyes then motioned for Mary, Bridget and Savannah to follow them outside.
With Jamie still MIA, seeing that 13 children had baths and stayed clean was no easy task for poor Lizzie. The older children needed less supervision but had very resentful attitudes towards the oldest Cartwright offspring. The younger children fussed and griped when being scrubbed by an agitated 14 year old, especially Asher.
"Ow! Lizzie, you're hurting me!" complained Asher.
"Asher, all I've done is poor water over you, now calm down."
"But the water's cold, Lizzie! Why do we hafta have cold water?"
"Asher, it's summer time, I'm not going to waste firewood and energy heating up water when it's warm outside! Now stop talking and start washing!" she ordered.
"I want a cookie first!" demanded the five year old.
"Have you lost your mind?! You are not having any cookies! You are going to get clean then go in the house and play quietly until your pa comes home. Do you understand?"
"I WANT A COOKIE!" Asher screamed.
Before Lizzie could reprimand her cousin, a loud crash was heard coming from the house. "Now what?!" she scowled then dried her hands on her apron and turned to leave the barn. Before she did, however, Lizzie pointed her index finger at the two boys in the tub and wagged it fiercely. "I'll be back in a minute. Don't either of you dare to leave that tub, you hear me?!" Both boys nodded yes as Lizzie dashed out of the barn and into the house.
As soon as Lizzie left the barn, Asher already had one foot out of the tub.
"What'er ya doing?" Jake asked. "Lizzie said to stay in the tub."
"I'm gonna git a cookie, I'm hungry," he answered as he jumped out of the tub and headed for the barn door.
"Ain't ya gonna put anything on, Ash?"
"Nope," he said as he walked towards the side kitchen door in all his glory.
Jake thought for a second then hopped out of the bath and ran to catch up with Asher. "Come on, I know where Ma keeps the cookie jar. If'n we hurry, we can grab some and get back 'fore Lizzie knows we're gone, plus I'm kinda cold without my britches on."
Lizzie stormed into the house to find the small round table tipped over with books scattered on the floor, Morgan and EJ standing on the settee and Bridget and Henry hanging off the stair railing. "What in the world are you doing?!" Lizzie yelled.
"Playing pirate ship, what else?" Bridget said, shrugging her shoulders.
"What?!" a puzzled Lizzie spurted.
"If we touch the ground the sharks will eat us," explained Hoss' youngest son, Henry.
"So you decided to walk all over the furniture?!"
"Lizzie, how else are we spose to stay offa the floor?" grinned EJ.
"Why are you three letting them do this? Pa and the others will be back soon and this place is a mess!" Lizzie bellowed at Benny, Luke and Nate who were playing cards at the dining room table.
"Well they can't play outside, Lizzie, what else are they supposed to do?" Luke answered, keeping his eyes on his hand.
"Where are the girls? Why aren't they here helping? Do I have to do everything myself?!" a furious Lizzie said through gritted teeth.
"Apparently you do have to do everything yourself, cuz they're upstairs playing dress up or something like that," Benny related to his older sister.
Lizzie stomped over to the bottom of the stairs and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Katherine and Margaret Jane Cartwright get down here right now, and bring Mary and Savannah with you!"
CRASH! Suddenly, a loud sound came out of the kitchen making all the children in the living room quiet. Lizzie through up her arms in defeat and looked skyward. "Now what?" she muttered.
She raced into the kitchen to find Jake and Asher, buck naked, covered in molasses and a smashed flour canister on the floor.
"What…how…naked… when…why did…" Lizzie was too angry to get out a complete sentence. "Explain…now!"
"We wanted a cookie, so I boosted Ash up to get some, but he knocked over the jars. Turns out there ain't cookies up there like I thunk. Kinda funny, eh?" smiled Jake, hoping to lighten his sister's mood.
"Clean up this mess right now; then get back into the tub before I take this spoon to your backsides!" she threatened, grabbing the wooden utensil. "And let me tell you, that if you don't…"
Lizzie stopped her impromptu lecture because of a loud commotion coming from the main room. She spun on her heel and flew out of the kitchen like a hawk reading to swoop down for the kill. Jake and Asher forgot about their molasses covered bodies and quickly followed Lizzie to see what the noise was all about.
On the coffee table – with fire pokers in their hands – stood Nate and Luke. As the other children (including the girls) cheered on, the two cousins fenced with gusto, dodging one another's advances. Lizzie stood there, completely dumbfounded by what was going on. "What am I going to do?" she whispered to herself. "What in the blazing hell am I going to do?"
Jake and Asher watched from behind the settee, and started cheered along side of the others. Nate managed to knock Luke's make-shift epee out of his hand, making him leap to the safety of the settee. Grabbing a pillow from the corner of the sofa, Luke placed it in front of his chest, hoping to guard it from Nate's oncoming attack. Nate lunged forward and plunged the poker into the flower-printed cushion. As he pulled the poker free, Nate ripped the pillow's fabric, releasing hundreds of feathers out into the open. The feathers soared through the air, landing on anything that stood still including two naked spectators. The white fluffs immediately stuck to the boys' gooey bodies, making them look like two giant chickens.
"STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Lizzie screeched as tears started to stream down her cheeks.
It wasn't until the front door slammed shut that the children froze in their spots and suddenly fell silent. There in the front entrance stood Evelyn, Charlotte, Rebecca, and Millie, with their mouths gaped open from shock.
After what seemed an eternity, Evelyn was the first to speak, or rather mumble. "My home…my beautiful home…what have you…how did this…where are…" Her head was swimming with questions, so much so that she had to quickly sit down before she passed out. Evelyn reached over to the whiskey decanter next to her on the table, uncorked the top and took a good, long swig of the fiery liquid. Shaking her head and composing herself, Evelyn got to her feet, folded her arms across her chest, and slowly walked over to the crowd of waiting children. "And just who is going to explain all this?" she asked with a glaring scowl.
At once, all the children in the room immediately pointed at Lizzie. "Oh sure, now I'm in charge!" she grumbled, rolling her eyes.
"Elizabeth Louise, where is your father? Why is he not here watching the lot of you?"
"He, Grandpa, Uncle Hoss and Uncle Joe went to handle a cattle crisis," Lizzie replied quietly.
"And where, pray tell, is Jamie?" Millie interrupted. "I told him to make himself available to help out his brothers."
"Um…well you see, Grandma, he…um…"
"What happened in the kitchen?" a voiced suddenly said. Everyone turned to see Jamie coming round the corner from the kitchen, munching on an apple.
"Well, speak of the devil," Millie quipped.
Jamie froze. He had hoped he would make it back before Ben and the other men, but never figured he'd have to explain things to a group of irate women, his mother included. Jamie looked to Lizzie for help, but all she did was shrug her shoulders then cowardly turn away from his glare, leaving her uncle to fend for himself. Before he could speak, however, Jamie was inundated with questions from Millie.
"Jamie Hunter Cartwright, how could you let things get so out of hand?! Were you not watching your nieces and nephews? Did you leave the ranch? Why do you reek of a brewery? And why…"
"And why does my son not have a stitch of clothing on and is covered with feathers?!" Rebecca angrily cut in. With all the chaos and mayhem which had taken place in the last ten minutes, the fact that Jake and Asher were buck naked and covered with molasses and feathers had now come to light.
"I just wanted some cookies," Asher quickly explained before Jamie could answer.
"Asher Francis Cartwright, what does your current state have to do with cookies?!" Rebecca questioned as she placed her hands on her hips and glared at the boy.
"Well Auntie, you see…" Jake began but was interrupted by his mother.
"Explain later, Jacob," Evelyn instructed, "right now I want the pair of you outside before any further damage is done to my floor."
"Come along, Asher and Jake, let's get you both cleaned up in the barn," Rebecca said as she took hold of her son and nephew's arms. She released her grip, however, when a dark substance started to ooze on to her hands. "What in the world is under all these feathers?" she asked as she examined the sticky goo.
"Just molasses," Jake replied nonchalantly.
Rebecca rolled her eyes then led the boys out to the barn for a good scrubbing. Lizzie began to follow her aunt outside, but was stopped by Evelyn. "Just where do you think you're going young lady?"
"To help Aunt Rebecca finish with Saturday baths," she replied timidly.
"You will stay right where you are until I get some answers," Evelyn fumed.
"Speaking of answers, I have yet to hear any from you, Jamie," Millie stated, changing the attention on to her seemingly irresponsible son.
Jamie gulped then proceeded to explain things to his mother. "I was told I wasn't needed at the ranch, so I headed into town to see a few friends."
"And just who told you that you were not needed on the ranch?"
"Lizzie," he answered with a cough.
Millie, Evelyn, and Charlotte all looked at Lizzie, who was now leaning on the back of the settee with her arms folded over her chest and her head down, avoiding the women's eye-contact.
"You took your instruction from her?!" Charlotte snapped, stretching her arm out in the direction of Lizzie. "My children are hanging from the rafters because you thought you'd listen to a 14 year old girl so you could go and spend your day in a saloon?!"
Millie reached out and gently pushed Charlotte's arm down, and in the process, giving her a look as though to say let me handle this. "One of these friends wouldn't happen to be Willis Harper, would it?"
Jamie nodded his head.
"Jamie Cartwright, I have told you how I disapprove of you associating with the likes of that Harper boy and now you've gone and shirked your responsibilities because of him and those other so-called friends of yours. You reek of alcohol and you probably spent your day playing poker in the back of stench filled saloon!"
Jamie peered over to Lizzie for a second time, looking for a helping hand, but was let down yet again. "Ma, I only had a couple of beers and played a few hands of cards," he sighed. "Besides, I'm not a kid anymore. I am old enough to enjoy a drink or two. Pa has no objections to me letting off a little steam; I don't see why you do."
Millie folded her arms over her chest then sauntered closer to her son. "Well, we shall definitely see if he does or not when he returns. I think it would be in your best interest if you went home right now, Jamie. I will be waiting here for your father."
Sensing the seriousness in Millie's tone, Jamie gave a slight nod of the head then made his way out the front door, quietly apologizing to Evelyn and Charlotte in the process. He cursed under his breath as he mounted his horse and rode out of the front yard. I knew I should have stayed. Why did I ever listen to Lizzie? Pa is gonna kill me!
After Jamie had left, Evelyn closed the door then marched over to the children who were still frozen in their spots in the great room. "Every single one of you will clean up this mess at once! Except for you, Miss Elizabeth Cartwright; you and I are going to have a very serious discussion."
The children still did not move. Feeling somewhat guilty about their behaviour, they stood waiting to see what would become of poor Lizzie thanks to the calamity they had caused.
"What are you all standing around for?! Start cleaning this instance!" Charlotte ordered. She and Millie began to micromanage the situation while Evelyn pulled Lizzie aside into Adam's office alcove.
Standing in front of the large desk, Evelyn placed her hands on Lizzie's shoulders in order to get the girl's undivided attention. "Elizabeth, I am going to ask you some questions and you are to be honest in answering them. Do you understand?"
Lizzie nodded her head softly and replied, "Yes ma'am."
Evelyn removed her hands from Lizzie's shoulders and placed them on her hips. "Good," she huffed, "now perhaps I will be able to find out why my home has been destroyed after only two days."
Lizzie's head drooped, but was brought up again by Evelyn's hand. She was determined to keep eye-contact with her daughter. Having seven children had made Evelyn a self-proclaimed expert on deciphering truth from falsehoods, but only if she maintained eye-contact. The children knew this fact and tried to avoid their mother's all-knowing glare. Some of her siblings had built up immunity towards this glare and could lie as though it were an art form – Maisy and Luke in particular. Lizzie, however, did not share this ability and knew the time to come clean was at hand.
"Is is true you told Jamie to leave?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Not that he should have listened to you in the first place, but why would you tell him to disobey your grandfather?"
Lizzie folded her arms over her chest then leaned on her father's desk. With an irritated expression she sighed, "Because I thought I could handle things."
"Have you completely lost your senses? What on earth made you think that you could handle 13 children on your own?" Evelyn barked.
"I thought if you and Pa saw how responsible I could be you might…well…you might…"
Evelyn clued into what Lizzie was trying to tell her. "That we might reconsider allowing you to attend social functions before you turn 16?"
"Yes," Lizzie mumbled.
Evelyn couldn't believe what she was hearing. All this chaos was so she can go to a dance? She realized that her eldest child was starting to enter a stage Evelyn only knew too well. As a child, Evelyn definitely caused her share of trouble when it came to getting something she wanted. And even though she had gotten away with being a plotting princess, she was not about to let her daughter do the same - especially since she would never hear the end of it from Adam if she did.
"So all of mess was to try and sway us into lowering the socializing age?" Evelyn reiterated.
"Yes, ma'am," Lizzie sighed again.
"Elizabeth, I wish your judgement was as keen as your want for peer attention."
"So do I, Ma," Lizzie agreed.
"I gather your siblings and cousins were less willing to cooperate with one of their own in charge."
"Maisy was on board, but that was about it."
"And what did you have to promise her," she enquired with a raised eyebrow.
"I'd rather not say, if you don't mind," Lizzie answered, her face starting to flush.
Evelyn shook her head. This day was just getting better and better, she thought sarcastically. "Right now I want you to go help your Aunt Rebecca with the boys, but this discussion is far from over, young lady. When your father gets home, we will be talking further about your decisions today."
"Yes, ma'am," she sighed for the last time then left the house for the barn.
Turning and scanning the state of her home, Evelyn secretly seethed inside. How could Adam leave not only their children, but his brothers' children, with so little supervision? Don't worry, Evelyn. Things will be fine, Evelyn. Have a good time, Evelyn. How dare he ruin such a lovely weekend for the women with such empty promises?! "Ooo, just wait until that man gets home," Evelyn whispered to herself, "he will think twice before ever doing anything like this to me ever again! Yes sir, he surely will!"