The men rode into the front yard of the ranch about thirty minutes after the women had walked in on the destructive setting. With the wagon stored away and the team in the coral, there was no visible evidence that the women had returned home. Ben and his sons happily dismounted their rides, chatting about the day's events and strode up on to the porch. "Seems Jamie's kept a tight lid on things while we were gone; the house is still standing and I don't hear any ruckus," Ben commented with a smile.
"Didn't doubt him for a minute," Joe nodded in agreement.
"Weren't you the one who said we would find our kid brother tied to the nearest tree with his head shaved just five minutes ago?" Adam said in a cocky tone.
"I was being sarcastic, big brother. You of all people should know what sarcasm sounds like," he laughed.
Hoss walked up behind Adam and gave him a hard slap on the back. "Don't know what yer talking about, Joe. Adam here ain't never been sarcastic in his whole life. He's as straight as they come!"
Adam rolled his eyes and gave his father and brothers a disapproving grin, causing them to burst out laughing. Never being able to resist Joe's infectious giggle, Adam's irritated expression turned to laughter as well, that is until they opened the door to the ranch house.
Children were scattered all over the great room, with brooms and rags in their hands, cleaning furiously a mess that was still apparent. The women were standing over them, supervising their work as wardens guarding a chain gang of convicts. When the men entered the house, the work ceased and all eyes fell upon them.
"What happened in here?" Ben asked.
"What are you doing home?" Adam enquired, looking at his wife. "We didn't expect you until tomorrow."
"Obviously," Evelyn snapped curtly then turned away from Adam. "Children, I would like all of you to go upstairs and wait until you are called down."
Without a word, all children – now including a clean Jake and Asher and a worn-out Lizzie – quickly dropped their cleaning tools and scurried up the stairs.
"Hello, Benjamin," Millie growled.
"Hello, Eric," Charlotte frowned, making her husband cringe slightly from hearing his given name.
"Hello, Joseph," Rebecca huffed.
"Welcome home, Adam," Evelyn sarcastically snarled.
"It's not a very warm welcome," Adam countered, "why the cold reception?"
"Are you really that oblivious? Look at my house, Adam! Look at what the children have done to MY house!"
Adam and the other men scanned the room then looked at each other. "It's a bit untidy, but that was to be expected. The children were cleaning, so I don't see what the problem is, Evelyn,"
Evelyn threw her arms up in frustration, but before she could say anything, Ben decided to put in his two cents worth.
"Ladies, Jamie was here watching the children so there is no need to have a bee in your bonnets," he said somewhat condescendingly.
"Was he now, Benjamin?" Millie asked.
"Yes," he replied cautiously then looked around the room. "Is Jamie in the kitchen?"
"No," Millie glowered.
"In the barn?"
"Wrong again."
"Then where is he?" Joe asked, getting in on the conversation.
"Millie sent him home after he finally showed up," Rebecca grumbled.
"What do you mean finally showed up?" Ben said with a puzzled look.
"He spent the day in town drinking and playing cards with Willis Harper, not on the ranch," Millie informed him.
"I specifically told him to stay with the children," Ben fumed.
"Guess you weren't specific enough, Pa," Hoss chimed in.
"Wait until I get a hold of that boy," Ben gritted.
"You'll have to wait in line, Pa. I want the first crack at the kid," Adam told his father.
"Why are you laying the blame all on Jamie? I agree that he was irresponsible, but he is not the one we are angry with, Adam," Evelyn said.
"Yes, that is true. The children need to be held accountable for their actions today. I will speak to them after I pay Jamie a visit."
Evelyn rolled her eyes. Was her husband really this clueless? Well if he needed the situation spelled out for him then she best get at it. Folding her arms across her chest, she sauntered over to Adam and the other men. "I suggest you gentlemen have a seat instead of pestering a teenage boy. Your wives wish to make sure you understand just who in fact we are infuriated with."
"Well, what did you hear?" Benny asked his youngest brother when he re-entered the girls' bedroom.
"Pa ain't talking much," Jake relayed in a hushed voice. "He just says stuff like 'but Honey' and 'Evvy, Sweetheart' when Ma lets him say sumthin'."
"What about Grandpa, what's he saying?" Nate asked.
"Even less than my pa or yours or Uncle Joe, and he talks a whole bunch. Grandpa said to Grandma 'Now see here, Millie…' but he didn't get to finish cuz Grandma said 'Hush up Benjamin!' then started talkin' real fast. Didn't really get what Ma or her said after that, just know that they sounded mighty mad."
"Boy, you really messed things up this time, Lizzie," Luke grumbled.
"ME?!" Lizzie shot back. "Y'all are the ones who wouldn't listen to me and destroyed the house, not me! If y'all had listened to me we would be having a nice dinner right now instead of worrying about what kind of punishment is coming our way and I would be…"
"Courting Wyatt Fuller?" Luke slyly interjected with a smirk on his face.
"Lucas John Cartwright, how dare you suggest such a thing?! The thought never entered my mind you…you…you insensitive buffoon!" she blurted.
"Bickering will not make the matter better, you two," Katie said, courageously stepping between the siblings.
"Katie's right," Maisy agreed, "besides, it sounds like Pa and the other men are the ones in trouble, not us."
"But why would my pa be in trouble?" Savannah asked innocently. "He weren't even here."
"That's the problem, Savvy," explained older brother EJ. "Pa was supposed to be watching us and he left."
"Yeah," smiled Luke. "Looks like Pa's in the doghouse again."
"Luke, we don't have a doghouse," a puzzled Morgan told his older brother, "we don't even have a dog."
"Yeah, 'sides if'n we did, Pa can't fit in a doghouse; he's too big," Jake added.
The older children in the room began to laugh. Apparently this was an inside joke only understood by half of the children. When confusion turned to irritability, Maisy took it upon herself to share with the younger kids why they were so amused. "Being in a doghouse is only an expression. It means that Pa, Uncle Hoss, Uncle Joe and Grandpa are in loads of trouble."
"I don't see why they hafta bring dogs into it," Jake complained. "If'n they want a pet that's gonna give ya trouble then they should pick a cat. Cats are plenty mean and stir up more trouble'n dogs do."
"I know our cats don't like people much, but our dogs like everybody," Henry shared about his father Hoss' collection of critters on their ranch.
"We should say pa and 'em are in the cathouse instead," Morgan suggested proudly.
The older children burst out into laughter, again causing confusion for their younger siblings.
"What's so funny now?!" EJ huffed, annoyed by their reaction.
"Let's just say that if the women folk caught the men folk anywheres near a cathouse they would NEVER get out of the doghouse," Maisy giggled.
"Well I like cats!" Mary emphatically stated. "So I think cathouses should be a good thing!"
"So do I!" agreed Hoss' youngest girl, Bridget. It was, in fact, the only time she had actually agreed with her cousin on anything and did so with great vigour.
"Look, y'all will understand when you're older, but for now you can't say cathouse in front of any ma or any pa. Got it?" Nate explained.
"Why can't we?" Morgan asked in a disgruntled tone.
"Cuz if you do you're gonna end up with a sore backside and a mouth fulla soap," Luke smirked. "But if ya don't believe me, then by all means go and mention it to Ma and Pa and see what happens."
"You're bluffin'," Morgan countered.
"Like I said, go and try it if ya want to, makes no difference to me," Luke shrugged.
"Can we please forget about dog and cat houses and focus on the task at hand?" Lizzie cut in, trying to redirect the conversation.
"Which is what exactly, Elizabeth?" Benny asked with a fatigued voice.
"The fact that our fathers and grandfather are in big trouble because of us and we need to figure out a way to smooth things over."
"Lizzie, if they're in trouble it means that we ain't, and that's alright with me," Maisy said with a smile.
"Maisy, you haven't been around long enough to know that it means the exact opposite," Katie corrected her cousin.
"Oh great!" Maisy griped then turned towards her sister. "I still want my pencils and ribbons, Lizzie; we had a deal."
"I know, I know," she begrudgingly assured her, "they're over there on top of my dresser."
Before Maisy could claim what was rightfully hers, the bedroom door opened revealing a tired and irate looking Evelyn. Making eye-contact with her eldest child she said, "Elizabeth, you and your brothers and sisters are to finish cleaning up; your cousins will be leaving shortly. Now, come along all of you."
"Yes, ma'am," Lizzie gloomily acknowledged.
None of the other children spoke. They just complied quietly with Evelyn's request and made their way down the stairs.
In the great room, the atmosphere still had a tense air about it. The men were gathered in the office alcove going over ranch paperwork while the women sat on the settee quietly sipping a cup of tea. Ben and Millie had already left to deal with their reckless son, allowing the remaining adults to deal with their own broods.
When the children entered the space, Hoss was the first to approach them and speak. "Nathan, go and get the wagon ready," he abruptly ordered, placing his hands on his hips, "and take your brother with you."
"Yes, Pa," the boy answered softly.
Adam followed his brother's lead when speaking to his own sons. "Benjamin, Lucas, and Morgan, go and help your cousins then prepare Uncle Joe's buckboard. The rest of the children are to wait outside while the adults finish in here."
As the children sullenly made their way towards the front door, little Asher stopped and turned to his father. "Pa, can I ask ya sumthin'?"
The other children froze, afraid of what the five year old might say.
"Sure, son, go ahead," Joe answered.
"Are you in the doghouse or the cathouse?"
"WHAT?!" Joe burst out.
As the other children almost trampled one another bolting out of the house, EJ went and covered his younger brother's mouth with his hand, preventing Asher from sharing any more incriminating information. "He don't know what he's talking about, Pa," EJ told Joe as he began dragging Asher out the front door. "Some of that molasses musta got caught in his head."
"Molasses? Cathouse? Rebecca, honestly, I don't know…"
"I know you don't know, Joseph, that's the problem," she smirked, cutting him off.
Joe just shook his head then trudged out after the children. Adam and Hoss did the same, since neither of them knew what they could possibly add to the conversation that hadn't already been exhausted.
"So when do you suppose we should let the men off the hook, ladies?" Evelyn asked her sister-in-laws as a grin slinked onto her face.
"Well, I've been wanting a new cover for our surrey for ages. The one we have now is so tattered and looks dreadful," Rebecca said dubiously.
"And I've been after Hoss to repair the kitchen cupboards for months," Charlotte shared.
"Adam hasn't taken me for a picnic in over a year, and we used to go all the time," Evelyn added.
"I have a feeling the men will be more than eager to please," Charlotte giggled, "don't you, Evelyn?"
"Indeed I do, Charlotte dear," she laughed. "Indeed I do."