Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket

Triggers: Depression

"How'd I do?" I asked Chiyo as I walked off the stage, exhaling. Talking in front of people was not something that I wanted to do. It had been intense, but it was also good for my book and I was surprised at the number of people who seemed really into it, asking in-depth questions.

"You did good," Chiyo assured me, taking my arm and leading me off. "Drinks to celebrate?"

"I don't really-" I began to say, but she cut me off.

"Drink, I know." She shrugged, tucking a strand of her ridiculously straight dark hair out of her eyes. "Thought I'd ask, anyway."

"Yeah, thanks." It was quiet for a moment before Chiyo sighed.

"Look," she said, looking at me. "Mai, I know I'm your agent, but I'd like to think I'm your friend as well. For the past month or so, it seems like something's been terribly wrong. I don't know what it is, but it's seriously bringing you down. I'm not asking to know what it is, but I do want you to know that I'm open to talking if you want." Her dark eyes, suddenly serious, held mine before I dropped her gaze.

"Thanks," I mumbled, staring at my shoes.

"Anytime," Chiyo replied, looking at me worriedly.

The sense of wrongness filled me as I stared around my cramped apartment. I felt like there was something important that I couldn't remember, but it disappeared as soon as I thought to look for it. I gritted my teeth as tears of frustration ran down my face.

I didn't live here...did I? The conversation with my landlord flashed through my mind, about ten minutes earlier. He had said 'Your first month's rent is almost due.' I've only been living here a month. Where had I been living before that?! I came to Japan over a year ago, but I don't remember where I was living before... How can that be possible?! What is missing?!

A sob broke through me, and I collapsed on the floor. I just want to remember what was so important...

An image of the shopkeeper, Ayame, flashed through my mind. Sohma... That name... Did I know someone named Sohma? I don't know... I can't remember!

I huddled into a small ball, not wanting to do anything but try to block out the feelings that threatened to consume. The darkness hovered over me as a dark cloud of thought, ready to consume me. I continued to fight it, but I felt weak and powerless, and I was losing the fight.

My phone rang. I made no move to answer it, continuing to huddle on my floor, wrapping my arms around me.

I want to remember... I want to remember anything, anything at all...

An image flashed into my mind, and I gasped.

Snow... The snow surrounded me, and I smiled warmly at it. Snow was always one of my favorite things.

"Mai!" a cheerful male voice called. That voice was so familiar to me, and a feeling of affection flowed through me. I turned around to see shaggy black hair and a wide smile before the darkness filled the image.

"What was that?" I whispered, sitting up slowly. I knew him. I knew him so well that it hurt. Who was he? Why can't I remember him?

The phone rang again, and I heaved myself up to look at my called ID. The number was private. Deciding that if it was important they'd leave a message, I slowly walked into my bedroom and collapsed on the bed. A few seconds later, the phone stopped ringing, leaving me alone in the deathly quiet.

"Hello, darkness, my old friend," I whispered, closing my eyes against the onslaught of tears.

A/N

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to my story! I apologize for the rather depressing filler, but I thought it'd be a good chance to see into Mai's mind to see how she was deeply affected. The next chapter will be more interesting, as we may see some Sohmas! :)

Thank you all for the lovely reviews and I hope to see you all in Chapter 3!

~Eva Sirico~