Sunrise aboard the Jolly Roger was one of Hook's favorite things about being a pirate. Of course, there was the booty, and the ladies, and that thrill he got from barking orders at the crew, and the feeling of never sailing the same ocean twice… But watching the brilliant ball of light ascend from the horizon and blanket the sea in gold was… truly breathtaking.

This particular sunrise was one he thought he'd be watching alone, like all the others before it. It was a small moment for himself that he liked to cherish, but the boy had other plans for Killian's morning.

"Couldn't sleep, Captain?"

It was just after he'd captured him, and apparently Baelfire rose early as well. "No, lad," Hook said, leaning both arms at the rail. His eyes flickered. "Bae…" he corrected. "I'm watching the sunrise."

The boy joined him, in that same carefree position he'd occupied last night when he consoled Killian's troubled mind. "You do that often?"

"...Aye," he replied, unable to lie to the boy. If a crew member had found him here, he might have said he was scoping the sea for their next course… But he couldn't make up such falsities when Baelfire's eyes were just like his mother's- completely able to see through his facade. He didn't know how he knew this, but… he just knew.

Bae nodded, and started to watch it with him. It was at its half-circle now. The world was only partly awake, but Killian's eyes were wide open. "Every morning," he began, pointing at the sun. "I look at that ball of fire and I think to myself, I'm a bloody pirate looking at the bloody sun. And I thank my lucky stars that I'm still able to."

The boy chuckled with a sly smirk. "So you're a poet and a pirate?"

The next moment Bae was nudged rather harshly, but playfully, by a leather-clad elbow. "Aye, and if you have any sense in your brain you'd be thanking your stars, too."

"Why?" Bae said more seriously, his eyes earnest. "What have they brought me but misfortune? My father has abandoned me, and I'm stranded in a foreign land with strangers. That's not very lucky if you ask me."

Killian clicked his teeth, shifting his feet and sighing. "Well you're always looking on the bright side, aren't you?" he said with sarcasm lacing his tongue. He paused, lost in his own myriad of thoughts. "Neverland may be foreign to you, but you have me on your side."

Baelfire looked up at him, and it was only then that Killian remembered his reason for keeping the boy around in the first place. His face was so trusting, a shocking gesture from someone who didn't trust easily. Killian's plans all along were to lord him over the Dark One and lure the boy's father to his death…

His heart clenched with doubt. The sun was rising further and further, but though Bae's eyes were trained on its brilliance, Killian's were on the boy. He couldn't bear the thought that Bae was a product of both his sworn enemy and his lost love… He could only see Milah's beauty in his face.

Beautiful… That was a word he'd never thought of before. Looking at the boy, he breathed deeply, suddenly wondering if his lucky stars made the boy his own kind of beautiful in the waking sun, too…

Sunrise aboard the Jolly Roger used to be one of Hook's favorite things… Now he cannot bear it.

The loss was catching up with him. Slowly, he could feel it the way Emma had felt it the moment she knew Neal was gone. Hook had felt similar pangs of sorrow wash over him when the boy's head had been covered with a burlap sack… But that was guilt then. This… This was undeniable grief.

The sun and its unchanging rays hurt his eyes. A light so warm didn't deserve to be shone on Hook's ship. He didn't feel warm… He felt so cold… He shouldn't be here, not again. He didn't deserve to be here. He'd lost his right to Neverland's waters long ago, because it didn't feel the same sailing them without… him.

But he was watching the sunrise this dreary morning with Emma Swan, and all the memories of a better time were resurfacing. He could do nothing but brave it in front of her, for fear of collapsing. He wouldn't sleep, couldn't sleep even. Only Swan to keep him company, since the Crocodile had already gone below deck. There was nothing to do but have his heart break more every second.

They were silent together, and Killian suddenly felt alone again, watching the sunrise years and years before a young boy with a melancholy disposition interrupted the cycle. He was a different man then, one whom he sometimes wished would resurface, just to wipe the slate clean.

Swallowing hard, he finally broke the uncomfortable silence and glanced at Emma. "This is a dark land, Miss Swan," he began, and she broke her gaze from the sunrise to pay attention. "I was here for far too long. Long enough to know that living in an unchanging world will… ironically… change you more than you care to know. Be prepared for that."

Emma raised her eyebrow. "Are you?"

Killian laughed, twisting his body so that he was anchored toward her. "You always know how to respond, lass. Why don't you worry about yourself and leave me to my own 'life's journey'?" he finished with an air quote with his good hand.

"I'm not worried for me, Hook," she said, turning toward him as well and crossing her arms. "I'm worried for my son. I can handle this."

Hook's eyes searched for something in the air, something to say for Emma's sake. But these little reminders of why he was here, Henry this and "he just lost his father" that… His lips were numb.

When she saw he wasn't going to reply, she twitched her lip a little and sighed. "I'll go and wake everyone… We have a long day ahead of us, that's for sure." Killian nodded and faced the horizon again.

"We'll get him back," he said when Emma had already turned to leave the deck.

This caused her to pause. Her eyes were suspended in disbelief, but Killian didn't look at her. His eyes were still searching. "If…" he began again, quietly, afraid his words would die in his throat. "If it's the last thing I do, I'll help you get the boy back, Emma."

She swallowed and stepped back toward him. "Who was it that you lost, Hook?" she asked, and he, unable to meet her gaze still watched the sun.

Emma continued to stare at him, as if she knew something he wasn't telling her. But the truth was, she couldn't possibly know… But she did understand.

Hook grinned with hollow airs, and spun around on his heel. Since the sun was climbing higher, he crossed the deck and took hold of the helm. "You wake those land lovers down in the cabin. You were correct on one thing, Miss Swan. They will come for us… It's only a matter of time before they spot the ship."

As the captain took control of the helm Emma peered at him in that questioning, "I'm on to you" way she so often had when a secret was being kept from her. Killian wanted to delight in her confusion, but…

"Go, Swan. If you want Henry back."

Without breaking her gaze until she was below deck, Emma left him alone. The more that was unsaid between them, the more Killian felt the weight on his shoulders growing. He rubbed his mouth slowly, his eyes wandering again, from the sun to the mast… to the shores of Neverland. But they finally landed on two small letters carved into the wood. P & S.

Killian ran his fingers over the scratched markings. He had wanted to delight in her confusion, but he couldn't be happy with what he'd done. In the back of his mind, a voice kept repeating to him, "this is all your fault," though he couldn't acknowledge the words.

"You brought this misfortune upon yourself, and everyone on this ship. You deserve all the pain you have, and more."

This didn't reach his consciousness. All he could think was how utterly alone he was when, once upon a time, he might have had a family… all in a young boy's beautiful eyes.

What a tragedy.

Breathing hotly through his nostrils, Killian Jones steeled his gaze to the waters of Neverland. Peter bloody Pan was holding Baelfire's son hostage. His blood was boiling from the heat of the sun, now burning with white light overhead.

"I'll be damned if I let you win, Pan," he growled under his breath, his knuckles as white as that sun from gripping the wheel of the helm.

"This time, I will see you in hell."