A/N:
In this chapter I'm using some quotes from Mockingjay, when Peeta first returns to 12. I don't want to change much about the book - just fill in the gaps. Quotes from page 446.
CHAPTER TWO - QUESTIONS
"You're back." I squeak out, now realising his presence drew me to my front garden.
"Dr Aurelius wouldn't let me leave the Capitol until yesterday." His eyes look vaguely empty, and for a fleeting second I put myself in his place - tortured and all. "By the way," He continues; "he said to tell you he can't keep pretending he's treating you forever. You have to pick up the phone."
I ponder on these words before noticing what I interrupted him doing. He's holding a wheelbarrow. How long did it take me to walk down the stairs? "What are you doing?"
"I just picked these form the edge of the woods a few minutes ago. For Prim. I thought we could plant them along the side of the house." I stare at the plants in the wheelbarrow. Roses. But not the evil President Snow kind - Primrose. I sigh, then look back to Peeta.
After not doing much for what? - A few months now? This is too much - seeing Peeta, being reminded of Prim, living itself...I run back inside and camp on the sofa, smothering myself in three thick blankets.
When I am disturbed, I'm far from impressed. "Katniss? Are you awake?"
"I am now." I growl and chuck a pillow at the source.
I pull one of the blankets down just enough for my eyes to see the intruder. Immediately I soften.
"Sorry," He says, slightly coldly. "just came by to drop off dinner. Sae thought I could do it, since it's my first time seeing you in a while."
"Peeta..." I sit up slowly and try not to make my stale appearance too obvious - the same clothes I left the Capitol in, yet again mangled hair, most likely blotchy face and tearing skin.
"It's fine. I'll just drop it off and go. I might see you tomorrow." He strides out of the room and a few seconds later I hear the door slam.
After the encounter I feel slightly empty; firstly because it's clear that the Peeta I knew has gone, and secondly because I don't know what brought me to treat Peeta (old or new Peeta) like that. Even if it was just a few words. I stumble off to the kitchen where Peeta left dinner. He obviously left the dinner before he himself left, because there is note with it.
Katniss,
I'm back finally! Hope we can be friends.
Peeta
I don't know whether to feel as if I'm a dumpee being reduced to a friend rank - or a cold dumper who's being asked to tie up loose ends. I fold the note and toss it in the bin before starting on tonight's meal - a simple tomato soup. I know that since everyone's been back there have been a few booming businesses made out of growing food in gardens, but this is the first time I've had some of the business' produce. It's a good meal, but I never eat much and a lot is wasted on me. I wonder if Peeta would want some, but he probably had some from Greasy Sae too. I decide to go anyway, since he is only three doors down. Before though, I simply have to do something about my clothes. I don't know how Sae let me practically live in these clothes for months on end.
I peel off the clothes painfully, avoiding all mirrors. I don't want to see my new skin just yet. Then I take a shower. But the shampoo smells like roses, and soon I'm slipping everywhere and breathing in the wretched scent. Elbowing the glass door open, I collapse onto the bathroom floor and begin panting heavily. I start to panic, and crawling back to the shower I switch it off. I take the shampoo bottle and throw it out the next room's window. I have not been into the bathroom's adjoining room before. It is a small, quaint bedroom - with a vase containing three white roses. I take the roses and tear apart their petals. My next victim is the vase. I smash it against the wall, and then pieces at a time I throw them out the window. My hands start to bleed from the shard's corners, and I eventually am sprawled across the floor, wet and a bit bloody.
Bloods fogs my vision. It is on my face and slowly entering my eyes. I am dizzy. I hear footsteps. A gasp. Running. More running. A tale for when I am capable of telling it.
I should've known that throwing things out the window wouldn't go unnoticed. Of course, Peeta happened to be sitting on the wall outside his house when he heard smashing and dropping. so he came to check on me. Even after the games, Peeta respects my modesty - so got Sae. He didn't leave me though - he shouted out the window until someone came out. He tried moving away some pieces of the vase, but luckily Sae came soon enough. She sent him out and she tended to me.
"You're stubborn you know." She said as soon as I regained consciousness. I feel surges of pain as I realise she's taking fragments out of my arm. She has covered my naked body with a towel, and has laid all the other broken pieces on another towel.
I see the door creak slightly open, and Peeta peeks through.
"Is she any better?" He whispers, and I close my eyes.
"I'm still taking out the pieces. Not much can be done, honestly. Can you get me a wet towel? I want to start dabbing the wounds."
"Ok, sae. You might as well be a doctor." He jokes whilst reaching into the bathroom.
"It's all just common sense, Peeta." I guess she makes a shooing sort of movement, or signals for him to leave, because I open my eyes and he's creeping out again. He, who seemed at least a bit like the normal Peeta.
"That boy will save you again one day. He's got a kind heart, even after..." She trails off, and goes back to my arm, which seems to have suffered most. I look down myself to see quite a bit of blood. Peeta left the wet towel on my leg, which must be bad because it was too numb to even feel the towel being laid down. My free arm has just one lone scratch, and judging by the pain - my face has a lot of marks.
"Thank you." Is all I manage.
A few hours later she leaves, leaving me in the bedroom, wearing too many plasters to count and warm, clean clothes. I never got a chance to see my awful, new skin. That's for another day. I tread downstairs to the kitchen, hoping for the fridge to be stocked, when I see Peeta. He doesn't notice me, since his back is turned, and he is humming a sad tune - slow, deep and mournful. He seems to be making something, with a bowl containing what I hope is food.
I quietly sit down at the table, and he still doesn't notice. Just a minute later he turns, probably to get another ingredient, and he drops his whisk.
"Oh, sorry, I didn't realise you were down." He says, picking up the whisk.
"It's ok. I like company that doesn't make me talk." I laugh quietly at the end, then when the room fills with silence I continue; "Smells good. What is it?"
"Olive bread." He replies, turning back to the mixture. He picks up the bowl and sets it on the table I am at. He takes out the dough and starts to knead it on the table. "Since you were, uh, up there, I thought I would make you something."
"Thank you. Really. I was feeling hungry actually." I smile at him, and it becomes sufficiently awkward.
He continues kneading as he says; "You know, I've been thinking. Maybe not yet, but it's been a while. Could we maybe, once a week or something, have like, uh..."
"Spit it out." I raise my eyebrows.
"Like therapy sort of? I guess. We could do the real or not real thing again. I just want to ask questions, but I don't think it would be fair on you to say them all at once." He stops kneading and I take in what he said. This is definitely old Peeta, thinking of how I would feel before his own feelings.
"Peeta, I..." What words can I use to tell him no? All I want is to be myself. Before he came I was doing fine with not coping.
"You don't have to right now or anything. Just, ever?"
"Sure. When did you have in mind?" I try not to grit my teeth as I say this, but he brightens up, like he's almost happy.
"Maybe I can ask one or two...tonight?" He says tonight as if he's just invited himself to stay for a lot longer, but I skim over that.
I don't answer, but stand up and walk to the counter where he had the bowl a few minutes ago. Sae stacked the letters up here today, because she was complaining that she kept tripping over them every time she walked in the door.
I sift through them until I find the one's from Peeta. In total I find eight.
"I've got a few of my own questions too."