Beautifully twisted
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry potter & CO. or Impulse by Ellen Hopkins.
A/N: Really sorry for taking so long to post this but some things came up lately and I was terribly busy. So without further ado here is chapter seven!
Chapter 7:Closer
Harry P.O.V
Sweet Sweet Sanctuary!!!
I've never felt more at peace, never felt more secure as I do now holding the object of my desire in my hand. A single paper clip curved into a rather intricate design. I unfold the clip to reveal sharp delicious edges.
It's cool and secure against my fingertips as I first test it within the palm of my hand. Not deep enough to cut but sharp enough to leave a single white line.
My bodies trembling slightly but I disregard it; my mouth is dry so I swallow. My head is pounding so I place cool metal against warm skin, right above a pale throbbing wrist. A smile is on my face as I pull straight down into a single blue vein.
The feeling that rushes through me is quite ethereal so I lift my hand and begin another cut in my skin. Red drips from a pale hand and I find I can't stop.
Right to left, up, down, vein to sweet vein. I feel so giddy that I giggle at the whole ordeal.
Red, blue, pale the colors all connect.
'The colors all connect.'
My minds blank just how I like it.
No more pounding.
Only sweet memories.
No more pain.
Draco P.O.V
Control.
It's all about being in control. No one can shape your life but you. You are the one in charge; you are the one who makes things happen the way they should except...
Well what if you were never really in control of your life but someone else was.
From the minute you were born they made decisions for you, they were the ones who shaped your life, they always had the control.
" Draco please look at me."
Med's don't seem to be working fast enough, but the memories sure are.
" Draco fucking look at me please."
But I can't open my eyes If I do I'll see him.
I'll see him and I don't want to.
Curl into a ball he can't harm you then.
" I won't hurt you. I'd never hurt you."
Please don't say those words. I've always heard them- he always said them.
" Leave me alone."
A cry for help. A plea filled with anguish.
" Draco look at me."
Hands on my shoulders-hurting me.
"You love Daddy don't you?"
Can't fight back. Did I even want to?
" Damn it Draco open your eyes-"
Memories vanish, air enters my lungs and I open my eyes but I don't see gray I see worried light green eyes.
" Blaise?"
I look at my surroundings realizing where I am and I sigh in relief. He stands up straight and I sit up in bed running a hand through my hair.
" You were... you know having one of your episodes."
I nod throwing the rumpled sheets from around me. I hate when I'm stuck between dreamland and reality. It's like I'm awake and yet I'm not aware of my surroundings.
Blaise is the only one who's ever seen me in such a state and for that I'm thankful. He's the only one I can trust.
" You want to head down to the cafeteria they're going to call us down in a few anyway."
That sounds good right now. Get my mind off things.
" Sure lets go."
Harry P.O.V
My head is light, clear as day; I'm flying high on cloud nine.
Evidence gone, clip put back in a safe place where no one can find it.
No one will find it.
It's sitting under the mattress deep in a hole that obviously no one knows about if they did they'd patch it up.
The intercom just went off signaling dinner so I quickly wrap up my wrist with tissue paper and slip on a long sleeved shirt. Can't have my wrist the main attention of prying eyes.
Just as I'm double-checking to make sure everything's where it should be the door opens and an orderly pokes his head through the door.
" Mr. Potter. It's come to my attention that you've been promoted to level three?"
Level three? When had I been promoted?
" Umm yeah I S-suppose."
My hand slowly snakes around my back and I know my face pales. His eyes narrow before he continues.
" Well I'm just here to tell you what that implies. It means that from now on you'll be attending classes, you'll more than likely move in with someone else who is deemed stable and the rec center is also available."
I nod once trying to calm my racing heart.
"Ok! Now get to dinner before the food turns cold." He say's leaving.
Without know I was holding it in I let out a deep breath.
Draco P.O.V.
"I've been promoted to level three."
I look up from my plate of food, the sound of kids talking quickly rushing back to me. I hadn't even known I'd spaced out. Either way Potter slips beside me on the bench and places his tray on the table.
" Level three huh? Well about time potter. I suppose I'll be seeing you in classes then?"
He nods happily picking up his spoon.
" Yeah. He also said something about the rec center. I'm not sure where that is though."
Potters hands are moving pretty fast as he talks, Potters lips are moving pretty fast too. I wonder how they'd fit against my lips. If they'd be as sweet as they look...
" Draco you alright?"
I look up into emerald eyes and he suddenly goes completely still. Like the first time I saw him in the group therapy room.
" You're hiding something from me." I whisper reaching a hand up to remove a lock of dark hair. My fingers touch clammy flesh and I wonder why he's so pale all of a sudden. His gaze falters and he looks away from me.
"Am not."
I smile despite everything and place my hand in my lap.
" And that would make you a liar potter. I don't think it's wise to add to your list of problems do you?"
He avoids my gaze then and focuses entirely on the plate in front of him.
" It's none of your da-"
"Harry there you are! I hadn't known you'd already made it down here."
Weasley and longbottom are making there way towards us and I can't help but glare in their direction.
" Don't you have somewhere else to be weasley?"
He looks at me as though I've said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
"Why would I be anywhere else? Surely you don't think I'd miss dinner."
He slides into the seat right in front of me with Neville at his heels. Was Weasley really this dense?
Harry continues to eat in silence and I stare at him as though contemplating something.
" So Harry your family come to visit today?" He stays still for a moment before glancing in Ron's direction.
" No.I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet." He slowly continues to eat and weasley says something else but at the moment I'm not sure what.
It occurs to me then that Potter only has one hand visible at the moment; the other one is limply sitting in his lap. Every now and then he would ball his hand into a fist.
Well what have we here?
I quickly grab his wrist; see him wince in pain before glaring at me. Weasley and Neville are to busy goofing around to notice. I grab harder and lean in closer.
A hiss escapes his lips.
" You've been a bad boy Harry. Now what would Dumbledore do If he found out about this mishap hmm?" I sneer.
I wasn't mad at him, I don't think I could ever be mad at him, more like I was mad at myself. I knew something was up when I saw him walking out of the office earlier.
His eyes dart around the lunchroom before falling back on me.
" Draco your hurting me." he pleads trying to yank his hand away.
" Harry you alright mate?" Weasley was really starting to test my patience.
" Up Potter." I said releasing his arm. He sighs in relief when I let go before looking up at me.
" What?" he asks confused.
" I said we're leaving. Me and you need to chat-now." He stands up from his seat then and quickly apologizes to Ron before following me out the lunchroom.
I was going to get some answers and I was going to get them now.
Harry P.O.V
I dreaded his words, dreaded the look in his eyes, the disgust on his face.
" Why the hell would you do something like this?"
I wondered if he never felt like giving in again, ever felt like giving into the pain a second time.
" Of course I have Harry-Of course." I must have voiced my thoughts out loud unless he could read minds. I giggle a bit at this.
" What's so funny Potter? This isn't a joke."
A whispered voice in a dark hallway. I was leaning against a wall his hands pressed against the wall behind me. He's getting closer.
'Don't want him to get closer.'
" You could have done some serious damage... I could have lost you."
This brings me back to reality and suddenly I can't control the beat of my heart. My eyes focus on blond hair and stormy gray eyes, pale skin and soft lips.
This is Draco not Cedric. Draco could never be Cedric.
" What do you care? If I off myself today or die tomorrow what difference does it make? What does it matter to you?"
His expression quickly changes from angry to worried to sad to annoyed. I've never seen someone's emotions change so much in such little time.
I find it rather intriguing.
" Your right why the fuck should I care about someone who doesn't care about themselves?"
Did he really just say that?
" You are such a fucking hypocrite. Do you not realize your in the same place I am Malfoy! Surely you didn't get here by caring about yourself. You did the same fucking thing I did- same fucking thing everyone else did. You've no-"
" Shut the hell up!" My voice stops abruptly as his hand covers my mouth and the other grabs my arm.
" I know I've done the same thing and for my own reasons no less but as much as I want to give in Harry I don't. And this-"
He holds up my arm yanking down the sleeve to reveal thin lines going up and down my arm.
"You can't give in like this... not like this. Believe me when I say I know it's hard but...I care about you. Only you because I can see how broken you are inside. I can look in your eyes and see. It's like I'm staring at myself."
He stares into my eyes then and I can see everything. The hurt and the pain, the anger and the unshed tears, the agony, the confusion. I can feel myself falling in headfirst even if I don't want to.
Falling within a replica of myself.
He removes his hand from my mouth only to trail smooth fingers across my lips; his other hand is gently tracing the cuts with hesitant fingertips.
No words are spoken at the moment, No words are needed as his fingers trail down to my neck. My eyes flutter shut when he presses against me. I find that I'm not aware of anything as those fingers make patterns against delicate skin.
" Do you understand now?" He whispers in an almost pleading voice.
I understand perfectly.
Right?
" I can't lose you Harry. Your the only thing I've got left."
Don't say that. You can't depend on me. I only cause pain.
" Say something to me. Anything."
I'm aware of his lips only a breath away from mine, can feel the need radiating off his pores.
Oh God I need him too. Need him more than anything else right now.
I open my eyes.
" It'll never work Draco. We're both broken...so broken."
He kisses my cheeks, my neck, and every inch of my face.
" We'll help each other Harry. Think of it as an exchange. Life for a life. I'll watch over you, you watch over me."
I closed my eyes again grabbing onto him.
Life for a life. Draco in exchange for Cedric? What an interesting prospect.
We're both broken It could never work but...
" Ok Draco."
He sighs contently before kissing me.
When his lips finally touch mine I'm surprised at what I find there.
Draco P.O.V
Kissing Harry was like sipping from the most delicate wine. Forbidden and yet sweet to taste, my head was light and giddy from the taste of him. My fingers itched to touch every part of him. But I knew I couldn't -not yet.
The risk of getting caught was too high. So instead I drank him all in.
Lips on my lips tongue on my tongue.
Everything just felt right.
Harry P.O.V
Tangled up in each other's arms desperate for release. What type of release I'm not sure myself. Sexual, emotional, physical it's all a meaningless blur.
What I do know is that Draco's kiss is so much different from Cedric's.
With Draco I can feel every emotion, every fear, every need and want.
And it takes me high.
Higher than any place I've ever been before.
And it's beautiful, it's magical, it was sinister.
And it was pulling us closer to the...unknown.
A/N: Well sorry I took so long to post this chapter but I was so busy I couldn't find the time to finish it. Hopefully I won't be so busy this week and I'll get another chapter posted. Well can't wait for you guys to see what's going to happen next chapter... I think you'll be quite surprised!! Bye!!!!