I chucked my supposed sandwich across the room, sneering as it snacked against the wall. I turned to the two armored weirdo's who made it for me, enraged. "This isn't a sandwich! How dare you present this to me under the guise of food? This is sacrilege! Sacrilege I tell you! The god of sandwiches will have your soul! How dare y—"

I heard a cough behind me and I whirled around to see this other, older guy with a much more regal set of armor-thingies. "How dare you displease, the chosen one! I'll have you swabbing the deck for the rest of your pathetic existences. I'll—"

I felt the rage building as he ignored my presence, speaking to the two cowering idiots with a voice that oozed both cruelty and condescension. "Oh shut up, you little shit." He immediately stopping speaking and bowed his head slightly. I assumed it was a sign of respect and I sashayed past him, praying he didn't notice the fact that I was bullshitting this entire 'confidence' thing.

It's starting to look like when I hit my head, I was kidnapped by some strange cult or something. It was almost like they were Amish because of the whole no-electricity and no modern clothes approach to life but on the other hand of it, they had weird insignias and signs all over everything. They didn't appear to be Satan Worshipers, but still, it seemed like the most likely explanation. Maybe they think I'm like Satan's angel; or more likely a demon. Yeah, that'd be pretty epic.

I stopped walking as I entered a room full of about thirteen other soldier-ey people. They were all doing different things; some were looking through drawers, some would ripping apart the bed I woke up on, some were sweeping out the dust, an old man was sitting down on a plush chair drinking what I assumed was tea. A young man with a ponytail probably somewhere around my age was bitching to him. I froze in my spot. Okay, this was a bad plan. The room is occupied, I repeat, the room is occupied.

I started slowly backing out, trying to pad softly. Then I bumped into something hard and a loud 'Clang' sounded around the entire room. I glared at the soldier who had slammed into me as I rubbed the spot where his chest plate smacked my head. "Fuck."

Without warning, Mr. Ponytail started swaggering towards me. I just arched an eyebrow and absent-mindedly twirled my purple strands around my finger. Even with how fast he was walking, it took him quite some time to make it to me. It was actually almost comical. Looked sort of like a Bill Murray movie. When he finally did get face to face with me, I noticed that the area around his left eye had been burned very badly. Gather round, young children, and I'll tell you why you shouldn't play with matches!

He grabbed me by the shoulder and I let him, smiling a bit. I'm a little crazy; I love it when people make me angry. They give me just enough pain to get furious, with just a little more to clear my head. This is how I operate the best. He started dragging me back toward the bed and I let him. He was muttering something but I only picked up on bits and pieces "…bring her back to father….regain honor…general Zhao…Mai….kill the avatar…."

I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing. The room went silent. Holy shit this guy's a nut. He whirled around, letting go of me, practically hissing and spitting. He tried to speak, but I beat him to it. "Look ponytail, this has been fun, really it has. As much as I love hearing you mutter about things that don't really matter to me, I have things to do, people to beat down, credit cards to steal, stuff of the like, so if you would just point me to the direction of the door, I'll be leaving."

He glared.

I sighed and started walking away. "Alright then, I'll find it on my own. Hey, dumb and dumber, give me a hand, would you?"

A hand gripped my left hand before I made it even three steps.

Red began to filter into my brain, clogging up my vision. Using the force of his tug to my advantage, I turned around my first flew out like a slingshot, snapping his nose.

He didn't drop the ground like I expected him to, he just grabbed at his nose with both hands and gave me the biggest "What the fuck" look I had ever seen. "What the—Why would you do that?"

I arched an eyebrow, arms crossed. "You grab me, you get punched. That's kind of how it goes."

He straightened up, rubbing at the blood the poured out of his nostrils. "Why wouldn't you bend? It—" he started smirking. "You can't bend, can you?"

What the fuck is bending? Why would I bend over? I have no idea what he's talking about, but I refuse to let him think he's better than me just because he's flexible. "Psh, I can totally bend. In fact, I'm super good at bending. I won a medal in it. Don't ask me which one, just take my word for it."

He sent me an arched eyebrow and then held out his hand. For a moment I thought he expected me to shake it, but then it burst into flame. Okay, I wasn't expecting that. Okay, um, okay. Okay. I'm, um, okay that's—wow. Okay, don't freak out, don't freak out, channel your inner badass.

I arched an eyebrow, trying to quell my panic. How does that not hurt? Seriously, who just fucking does that?

I straightened my shoulders, standing tall with my chest puffed. "Yes, very good. You've made your hand burst into flame. Am I supposed to be impressed? Do you want a cookie?"

He pulled his arm back ad then, much like the way a normal person would throw a baseball, he threw the flame across the room, lighting a few candles in the corner. I tried not to gawk.

I picked up a few daggers that were laying in a pile for no apparent reason. I ignored the gasps, and with a smirk, threw them across the room. They all stuck into the wall, forming a perfect circle.

"How you like that, ponytail?"

He growled.

I growled back. "You know, you could try something other than archaic grunts once in a while. It just makes you look like an idjit, which you probably a— Why are you looking at me like that?" I snapped at the cult-soldier-dude closest to me. H stepped back with his hands out. What's the hell is with these people; they kidnap me but then act like I'm some sort of goddess? They're tripping major ballsack.

He tried to speak, but no sound came out. The old man who had been sipping a cup of tea, finally put the mug down and spoke. "Don't be alarmed. Your coming has been long awaited, though you're quite late. You are a woman, though, so I suppose it was to be expected." He laughed at his own joke for a while. "You see, through the years, you have amassed a great amount of offerings. Even so, there were four original artifacts that would predict your fate."

I arched an eyebrow. "You're nuts, you get that right?"

He gave a hearty chuckle. "I've been told so, yes." It was silent for a moment before he decided to fill the empty space with his words. "The first was reloil, an expensive fragrance from the air kingdom, the second was a sculpture made of the rarest stone from the earth kingdom, the third was blessed water from the water kingdom, and the fourth was 12 ornate daggers from the fire kingdom. You have chosen the fire kingdom."

I arched an eyebrow. Holy shit this guy is weird; okay, so there are four parts tot his cult? And all want to be on the top? Why not just be even? I took a good look around and noticed a flame insignia of ponytail's outfit. Huh, guess I'm not gunna be on his side.

I dabbed some of the reloil on my wrists, wincing at the girly, flowery scent, tucked the figurine under my arm, slipped the vial or blessed water around my neck, and moved to retrieve the daggers from the wall.

"What are you doing?" Seethed ponytail bitch.

I smirked at him. "These are for me aren't they?" He said nothing so I continued. "You don't have the right to tell me I only get to choose one. I choose them all. And there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Ponytail raged, fire seeping out of his mouth. "You're only supposed to support one nation, you can't support them all!"

I sniggered as I walked towards the circular door-like hole. "Oh yeah? Is that in your precious little prophecy?"

I turned around to catch his reaction. He said nothing. I'm guessing the answer was no. I smirked as I exited the temple. "Well, boys, this was fun, really it was. We should do this again sometime but I need to get back to civilization so if you could just never bother me again, I'd appreciate it."

Nobody stopped me as I left.

I walked for about an hour, maybe two in some of their weirdest shrubbery I've ever walked through. I guess this is what nature looks like when we don't completely fuck it up with our gas-hungry cars.

Eventually I started singing heavy metal songs to myself, butchering them completely. All the great artists are probably rolling over in their graves right now.

Then, An hour later, I started singing a song to myself about how bored. I was. I still hadn't run into anyone, found a path, or even seen a single piece of litter. I must be really deep in the forest.

Oh shit, now the sun is starting to set and I haven't eaten since yesterday. I' M HUNGRY.

Groaaaaaar.

No, tummy, shut up, I can't feed you right now.

Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar.

No, tummy, I mean it. I don't have any food for you.

Groaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr.

Seriously! I don't have anything to eat and there's nothing around here! Just wait until we make it back to—"Ooh! Food!"

On the ground about fifteen feet away, I spotted a nice big pile of red berries. I ran over to them and squatted down. Huh, at first I thought they were cherries, but now it's clear to me that they aren't. Still…they look edible. Maybe they're cranberries.

I picked one up. I squished it. It popped and I licked the juice off my fingers. Hmm…not bad.

I sat down next to them and started shoving them into my mouth.

**Fwap-achachachachacha**

Out of bloody nowhere, I was hoisted roughly fifty feet off the ground in a rope net and my precious berries were flung everywhere. On top of that, the rope had burned me and cute my dress. Now my shin was bleeding, my neck was bleeding, there was a hole in my dress over my waist and guess what? Yeah, I'm bleeding there too. "BALLS. THIS IS BALLS." I screamed out.

This guy with makeshift armor, a piece of straw in his mouth, and two hooks in his hands walked into my line of vision. More of these cult idiots? Are you kidding me? "No, that's a rope."

If it weren't for the fact that the rope was constricting my arms, I would have face-palmed. "Okay, you caught the chosen one, very good, now let me down."

He smirked and leaned against a tree, bobbing his little piece of dried grass up and down. "Sorry, I don't make nice with the fire nation."

Letting out a snort, I thought back on my experience with the fire cult. "Neither do I."

He slammed his little hooks into the ground, making it clear he had no intention of letting me down. "Oh yeah? Then what nation are you from?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not part of your little cult, mouth breather. Now let me the fuck down or I'll unleash a can of whoopass since I'm your god or something like that." I wiggled around as I spoke, feeling open of the knives digging into my thigh. Maybe I can reach it.

A group of rugged girls and guys alike began to pour out of the forest behind him, also dressed in makeshift armor. "I'll ask you again, what nation are you?"

Got it.

I smirked at him. "American, bitch." And then in one swift motion, I cut the rope and plummeted towards the ground.