Captain's log, April the fifth, 2063. The voyage of the Pheonix was a success...again. The alien ship detected the warp signature, and is on it's way to rendezvous with history.
Data made his way down the corridor towards Naseema's cabin. It was two days after their ordeal with the Borg. The Enterprise was on it's way to the nearest starbase for clean up and repairs, the crew was settling back into their routine, and Geordi had, thankfully, not committed suicide upon returning to find engineering in it's abysmal post-Borg state. He had, however, muttered an almost continuous stream of curse words for the last forty-eight hours. Data had hardly seen the Feeonix ambassador in that time, mostly by his own choice. He'd wanted to wait until Geordi was able to repair the damage to his face and arm.
He knew it didn't affect how Naseema treated him, but he found he was self-conscious about it, and it bothered him that seeing him like that was an unpleasant reminder for her, of what had happened in the Borg hive. He was sure she could remember everything even though she'd been under the influence of a mind-controlling narcotic, and at the mercy of the Borg queen. He continued to feel an unpleasant, nagging guilt for what he'd done when she'd been forced to try to seduce him. His plan had gone exactly as he'd hoped. The queen had believed he'd forsaken the Enterprise, and the captain, and her misplaced trust had been her downfall, but he hated that he'd had to use Naseema as part of his ploy, especially in the manner that he had. He had made a promise to her to protect her, and he'd broken that promise by allowing himself to succumb to the sudden desire inside him. He supposed he should be grateful that the queen hadn't called his bluff, or expected him to take his pretense any further. Still, he couldn't help but feel an awful twinge every time he'd seen Naseema since they'd last been in engineering together, and every time he remembered how much he'd liked the things she had done to him. Climbing on top of him, making his whole body react to her touch, pressing her soft, warm frame up against him. He'd been afraid of her at first, but once she was on him, he had realized how good she felt, and part of him didn't want to let go of that feeling. He got a strange warm sensation inside him every time he thought about her gentle kiss, the same strange sensation he had every time she touched him, but the guilt inevitably came rushing back when he recalled the one he had given her in return. He hadn't really needed to do it to convince the queen he had accepted her offer. He could have just taken what he'd already received, and played along from there, but he'd been so terrified, more terrified than he'd ever been before, and he was trying to convince himself that his fear had pushed his need to be sure too far. Despite his best efforts though, he knew fear hadn't been his only motivator, and it didn't excuse what he'd done either. He'd used his strength against her, crushed her body against his, put his lips forcefully on hers, pushed his tongue in her mouth. He let himself be convinced that she wanted it even though he knew she wasn't herself. He wouldn't be surprised, nor would he blame her, if she never forgave him.
He rang the indicator, and she called out a generic greeting, bidding him to enter. He took a few steps inside, and the door slid shut behind him. She was coming out of the bedroom, wrapping a thin, silk robe around herself. His eyes widened involuntarily as he realized she had been completely naked a few seconds ago, and he lowered his eyes, and turned his head away. "Naseema, I—I am sorry, you are—busy," he stammered.
He'd come at a bad time. He was sure he was the last person she wanted to see while she was so vulnerable. His presence was bringing those terrible memories back for her. He should go. He'd already put her through enough, and now he was making her uncomfortable in her own quarters.
Naseema stopped moving towards him when she saw his reaction, and a sudden guilt filled her.
She felt awful. She'd embarrassed him. She'd already put him through so much. She'd manipulated him, violated his mind, given away his deepest desires, and set the predator inside her loose on him, all to help a malevolent stranger. The mind-control drug was no excuse for how aggressive she'd been with him, just because she'd been too pathetically weak to fight it. She had assisted the Borg in doing unspeakable things to him, and ignored his pleas for help. Emotions were still so new to him, and she'd shown him just how torturous it could be to feel. She was grateful he'd behaved so morally when she forced herself on him. She loathed to think what would have happened if he hadn't, but he'd been brilliant, using the queen's own arrogance against her, and he'd once again been savior to the ship, the captain, and her. She'd set something stirring inside him with her kiss, she knew that, she could feel it. It was something she had no right to awaken, and now there was nothing she could do take it back. She couldn't think of anything that would ease his mind about what he felt now. What could she say? No, Data, I don't love you with every fiber of my being. No, I wouldn't have let you tear my clothes off, and completely have your way with me on the floor, in front of an audience of Borg drones. I was only following the orders of the queen. Drugs made me do it. Those were all lies, and they were cruel lies. Telling him that no part of her wanted to kiss him wouldn't make him feel better. Despite his inability to admit it, that wasn't what he wanted to hear. Telling him the truth wouldn't help either, and the truth was, she wanted him to kiss her like that again, to pull her in tight to him, and push his tongue in her mouth with as much fevered determination as he'd done before. She wanted to feel his incredible strength, feel him use it on her again. She wanted, so badly, for him to know how she felt about him, but revealing that to him now would only confuse him. He simply wasn't ready, and knowing how deeply she cared for him would only make him feel worse. Nothing she told him, truth or lie, would alleviate the guilt she knew he felt for what he percieved was a vicious violation on his part. In her worst nightmare, she couldn't think of a more terrible situation for both their true feelings to become known to him, and if he found out that she knew how he felt because she'd penetrated his unconscious, that she'd been able to hear his thoughts all this time, he'd never want to see her again. She didn't think she could live with that.
She fastened the robe's sash, and tried to relax herself so he would relax. "It is alright, Data, you have not interrupted. I am always happy to see you, and you are always welcome here. You have seen me with far less clothingthan this. Please do not be embarrassed. Would you like something to drink?" she asked with raised eyebrows.
He blinked a couple of times, and his shoulders finally loosened up enough to satisfy her that he was relaxing. "No, thank you. I only wished to be sure that you were—alright," he replied.
She smiled warmly at him. "Thank you for being so thoughtful," she said. "Yes, I am well, I was just preparing to go into hibernation. I am very tired, and the captain insisted that I get my beauty sleep."
He returned her smile with a shy one of his own. "If you are tired, then you should sleep, but I do not think you require sleep to be beautiful," he said, and diverted his gaze for a second.
She went over to him, and took his hand gently. She tilted her head, and got him to meet her eyes. "You have always been so wonderful to me, Data. I am fortunate, and very grateful to call you my friend," she told him, and smiled at him again. He lowered his eyes away, but the shy smile remained on his lips. She knew he couldn't think of anything to say, and the silence was making him feel awkward, so she spoke again. "I must sleep now, but I will see you in a week. We will do something fun, android's choice," she said.
He nodded, and let his hand slip from hers slowly as he went to the door. She followed him, and stood in the doorway as he exited. "Data," she added, as he started to move down the corridor.
She wanted to ask him to come back, to come and lie down with her, hold her until she fell asleep, but she knew that was foolish. Still, she wanted him to know how special he was before he left.
He stopped, and turned back to her. "Yes?" he asked, a slightly expectant expression on his face.
He hoped she would ask him to come back. He was at a loss for anything to say to her that wouldn't sound stupid, and forced, but he wished, so very hard, that she would let him lie down next to her, and hold on to her, just for a little while, until she fell asleep. She had said the words, but he wanted to make sure that she was still his friend, and that she still trusted him. He knew it was a foolish hope, and she wasn't going to ask him back inside, but that didn't stop him from wishing for it anyway.
She smiled at him with the same warmth as before. "Thank you for being you," she said softly.
His face brightened, and he smiled back. "Thank you for being my friend, Naseema. I will miss your company this week," he replied, and then he turned and headed off down the corridor.
She leaned against the door frame, and watched him go, swinging his arms in the awkward, just slightly unnatural way he did when he walked. "I love you, Data," she whispered. Then she turned, and went back inside, the door sliding shut behind her.