A/N- Slower than promised, but a chapter nonetheless. Enjoy.

Chapter Seven

'What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.'
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
.-.-.-.

Clarice had called about nine, suggesting they meet for lunch again. Gregory was still home at the time, and had amused himself by answering her call. After he had slightly addled Clarice, he handed the phone off to Lindsey, sitting at the table and sipping his coffee. Lindsey wandered out of his hearing range, but returned a few moments later to replace the phone in its cradle. She'd looked embarrassed when she asked him if she could postpone her day in the office until next week, seeing as Clarice wanted to have lunch again. Gregory acquiesced, seeing no harm in it. She'd smiled and thanked him, giving him a kiss before heading out for a run with Sammie. As Gregory sat her wondered what cards Clarice intended to play today. Surely her suspicions were confirmed last night. He'd been in retirement for quite some time now, finding life with Lindsey to be quite pleasant. But, as always, Clarice sought to take that away from him.

Looking into the inkwell of the coffee cup, he sought his own reflection. It was there, but he looked past it. There, was Clarice, warm in the firelight. Soft, peaches and cream, and he was before her. She had power over him, she knew it, and she used it to her advantage. How many times in the years afterwards did she regret not giving herself to him completely? How many times had he regretted that night, thinking he could change her. Between iron and silver, she remained.

He finished the coffee, and rose from the table. Cup in hand, he paused at the sink. He looked at it oddly, as if wishing for something. He began to lower it into the sink, then brought it up again. Gregory l;et the empty cup fall to the kitchen floor, where it broke, leaving pieces at his feet. Even now, it didn't come back together. Best to clean it before Lindsey arrived home again.

He was gone by the time Lindsey walked through the door, and found one black piece of coffee cup against the baseboard.
.-.-.-.-

Lindsey sat in the comfortable womb of her car, in the dark garage, listening to the cooling engine and counting her breaths. Goddamn, Clarice. It was safe here, warm in the leather, but Lindsey felt decidedly unsafe. The door she had closed long ago had been pushed open again, and she found herself staring down the abyss. She wouldn't admit it to Starling, but a part of her had always known. Eventually, she removed herself from the car, trying to leave the monster there, behind her. Reluctantly she entered the kitchen, only to find him smiling at her there.

Gregory noticed his almost goddess looked pale and drawn. She waved off his concern, excusing it as some stomach bug or another. He offered to put away dinner, but she had told him not to, she would eat. He pulled out her chair for her, and bent close, brushing his lips against her cheek. There was a twitch, and she smelt of gunpowder. Clarice had told.
.-.-.-.

Lindsey was in front of the dresser, bent at the waist, pulling open a drawer to remove a pair of silk pajama bottoms. She was clad only in her bra and panties as he entered the room. She looked up sideways at him and smiled, hands working as they found what she sought and she closed the drawer. She was still smiling as she straightened, as he took a slow breath.

Still smiling, as he took a step.

Still smiling as he forcefully grabbed her shoulders and pushed her backwards onto the bed. The smile slipped away sometime in her controlled fall. As he forced her back, her hands tightened around the pajama bottoms. He held her there on the bed while he freed the pajama bottoms from her grasp with the other hand. In one smooth motion they were gone, and he had roughly taken control of one wrist. It was only a matter of seconds, and fear had begun to mix with the surprise on her features. He released her shoulder, bending to grab her legs and swing them up on the bed. Now Gregory mounted the bed as well as Lindsey, trapping her beneath him. Knowing she was secure, he took her other hand and pinned both above her head. She stared up at him wide-eyed, mouth working.

'Gregory, aren't you playing a little rough?' she finally managed, voice quavery with fear as she attempted humor. Gregory adjusted his position and leaned closer to her, matching his gaze with hers. When he spoke, his voice had taken on a sharpness she'd never connected with him before.

'Tell me, Lindsey, what did Clarice tell you today?' She wiggled a little under him, and she took a moment too long to begin her answer. 'Don't lie, Lindsey, hmmm. I'll know.'

She stared and the words leapt from her like frightened rabbits. 'She said that you weren't who you said you were.'

'Who did she say I was?'

Lindsey licked her lips, he felt her pulse quicken and saw her chest rise and fall. 'Hannibal Lecter' she almost whispered. Dear god, it was happening all over again, she knew this along, and had chosen to ignore it. Just like she'd done before, but she didn't know if she'd survive this encounter.

'Ah.' was all he said.

Lindsey wiggled again, tried to pull her arms down. She had to try, escape, somehow. Gregory had her locked firm, however. Anger bubbled in her eyes. 'Gregory, let go, you're hurting me. Look, Clarice is insane, she's chasing ghosts and jumping at shadows.'

Gregory's lips curled into a predatory smile, showing small white teeth. 'Is she now? Not quite the opinion you once held of her.' Lindsey glared at him, but there was more than anger there, a glimmer of questioning sat in the edges of her eyes.

She tried reasoning. 'She's wrong. Completely off base. Gregory, I know you, I've lived with you, I've loved you. If you had been that, that...' she shuddered.

'Monster.' Gregory supplied smoothly. 'Yes, I suppose some would call him a monster.'

Lindsey was hard again. 'He's killed... people.' No matter how she tried, her mind would not produce an accurate figure at this moment.

Gregory tilted her head, as if considering this. 'But he saved you, did he not?'

'I owe him nothing!' she exclaimed, eyes wide, indignation now. 'Let me go, Gregory. I'm not in the mood to play right now.' she twisted in his grasp causing him to shift his balance slightly, not enough for her to escape, merely enough to give her a little room for her struggles. Her wrists began to hint at pain like an indian burn as she twisted in his grasp. Gregory let it continue for a few moments then brought a swift end to it, tightening his grip on her wrists. A whimper tried to pass his lover's lips as she froze, eyes shining with fear and tears.

He leaned closer, his eyes bare inches from hers, noses close. He looked deep into her eyes, forcing her to look into his. 'Did you ever consider that Agent Starling might be correct in her suspicions, Lindsey?' A pause, she held her breath. 'Did you consider why we are in our current position?'

'Gregory...' it was barely a whisper.

'No, Lindsey. Don't attempt to deny it, the knowledge has been there all along, you have merely chosen to ignore it in favor of having the life you wanted, of having happiness.' Closer now, whispering in her ear. 'Of having me.'

He felt her chest heave under him, a sob escaping her tears ran hot, down the sides of her cheeks. 'Oh, god...' He didn't respond, he pulled back, watching her from above again. The tears making paths along her pale skin, eyes fearful. He felt the flutter of her pulse in her wrists, a trapped hummingbird's wings. Silently he bent to her face, lips parted. She squeezed her eyes shut, sobbing quietly. His breath was warm and moist on her cheek. She flinched as his lips came in contact with her skin, and she stopped breathing altogether when she felt his tongue tasting her tears.

The man she once knew as Gregory Orbinson followed the curve of her face, trailing his tongue along the path of her tears. Slowly, ever so slowly, he worked his way along her neck, to her collarbone and the hollow there. He laid a kiss on this spot, then looked up at her. Through this process she had breathed again, and her pulse had slowed. Lindsey opened her eyes and looked at him, dark and sleek against her own skin.

'Lindsey, I would never harm you, do you understand?'

A moment, and realization opening a tiny bloom in her mind, she nodded, her lips forming the word 'Yes.' Something Clarice had told her while working together- Hannibal Lecter was a man true to his word.

He smiled, shifting position again and loosening his grasp on her wrists. Carefully, slowly, he brought her to a sitting position, taking both delicate wrists in one hand and supporting her back with the other. He kissed her palms, releasing them to her. Lindsey rested them on his shoulders, eyes still wet, unable to look away from him.

'I've always known.' she admitted in her own time, both to him and to herself. 'But you... You gave me everything I had always wanted, you made me feel worthy of myself. Worthy of being loved.' She blushed, 'I do owe you for that.' Lindsey thought of the night that now seemed so long ago in his office.

'Lindsey, there are things you should know about me.'

'Whatever you were, or did, it doesn't matter to me. The past is the past, Gregory, leave it there.'

He was, however, watching Clarice as she lifted the drop of Chateau d'Yquem from her glass, the cabochon aglow in the firelight. He blinked, and saw Lindsey now, steeped in the coming darkness of midnight, drying tears on her face as she bowed to the acceptance of who he was. In all this time he had tried to find someone to stand in for Clarice in his life. Could it be that there was someone else entirely instead of Clarice? Someone worthy of a place of her own?

'Yes.' came the answer, from his lips and hers, he had unknowingly voiced the questions aloud. She smiled softly, knowingly. Impulsively, she drew his his head in closer, guiding her lips to his. Admittedly, kissing him, and being kissed by him was something completely other. Hannibal didn't resist, succumbing to her and laying her back gently on the bed, never breaking his exploration of her. Tomorrow would be painful, much as tonight had been, but for now, there was pleasure to be taken.
.-.-.-.

The house was strangely silent when Lindsey awoke in the morning. The bed felt larger than it ever had, and she knew, even before she acknowledged it, that he was gone. Tears burned her already sore eyes as she thought that everything had been for naught. She shivered as she climbed from bed, wearing nothing as she padded to the bathroom. The woman who stared back at her was no different than she had been before, physically, at least; with the exception of a deeply purpled bruise on her right breast. She touched it, staring at it both in the mirror and with her own eyes for a long time. She felt marked.

There was nothing to do, really. She'd acquiesced, accepted what she'd always known to be, and still, he was gone. Slipping on a pale pink housecoat, Lindsey Singleton emerged form the bathroom to tend to the day. Sammie went about his duties, as did she, but Lin felt as though she were simply going through the motions. Was she supposed to feel this hollow? After everything, he... She shook her head, feeling silly for repeating 'he's gone' over and over again. It wouldn't bring him back. She decided to forgo the coffee this morning, settling on tea. With steaming cup in hand she traversed the house, looking for any sign. It was spotless, as always. Not even a goodbye note marred any surface.

It was when she was pushing through his office that the phone rang. Sharp and sudden, it startled her. So much so, that her teacup escaped her grasp and shattered on the floor. Picking her way over the spreading liquid and porcelain shards she grabbed the phone off its cradle. 'Hello?' she asked cautiously, hope holding out against fear.

'Lindsey? It's Clarice.' Fear won.

'Oh, um, hi.' Lindsey stepped back, staring down at her mess. Sammie sniffed from the door, whining softly.

Clarice was talking again, Lindsey forced herself to listen. '...was wondering if you had thought about what we discussed yesterday. Could I come by today, perhaps?'

'He's gone.' she said, giving voice to the echoes in her head. 'He left sometime before I was awake. He's gone.' she repeated, staring at the teacup on the floor, wishing that she could reverse time. She had little idea that he had done the same before.

'I'm coming over, Lindsey, okay? Okay.'

Lindsey nodded. 'Okay. Bye.' and she cut the connection. She left the teacup mess where it was, walking out of the room and patting Sammie's side as she passed. 'C'mon' she told him, heading towards the linen closet with the idea of finding some towels to clean up her mess.

The tea was gone from the hardwood in his office, she had managed to mop it up with a towel, but porcelain still lay shattered. She picked a shard, holding it delicately. The edges were sharp, and Lindsey wasn't cautious enough. Blood welled in a straight line on her forefinger as she sucked in a breath, muttering a curse. She had band-aids in her office down the hall, and dropping the porcelain she went there.

Lindsey opened the door, letting Sammie nudge past her as she sucked on her wounded digit, blood coppery in her mouth. While his office had been restrained, hers was exuberant. Examples of her photography decorated the walls, bright colors and sweeping landscapes. Sammie went immediately to his large bed in one corner, as Lindsey pulled open a drawer and retrieved a band-aid. She blotted the cut with a Kleenex before applying the covering to the wound. Lindsey returned and sat in Gregory's chair, waiting for Clarice.
.-.-.-.

Sammie was already at the door, barking and whining, as Lindsey came down the stairs. Nudging him out of the way with her hip, Lindsey opened the door to admit Clarice. Her visitor looked all business, and Sammie promptly interrupted her first words by leaping up and squarely plating his paws on her stomach as he barked exuberantly in her face. Score one for the dog, Lin thought, closing the door before admonishing him. Starling looked a bit perturbed, but got down to it immediately.

'Did he leave anything? A note of some sort?' She noted Singleton was still wearing a housecoat and hadn't brushed her hair. How late did she sleep in now? It didn't really occur to Clarice that it was barely after eight in the morning.

'No, nothing.' Lindsey responded, shaking her head and herding the dog towards the hallway. 'I woke up this morning, and he was gone.'

Clarice was trailing after Lindsey and the dog, looking around, taking everything in. 'Could anything have prompted this? Did you confront him?' Lindsey could hear the 'I told you not to' in her tone, and shook her head, rounding a corner into the kitchen.

'No, I didn't confront him, or accuse him.' She stopped and looked squarely at the FBI agent who was now in her kitchen. 'In fact, he confronted me.'

This had Clarice's attention, and she froze, worry tightened the corners of her eyes. 'Are you okay?' Obviously she was, considering Lindsey was standing here talking with her. The monster hadn't eviscerated her or anything of that sort. Lindsey held out her wrists for inspection, which were reddened and looked a little puffy.

Standing there, wrists extended, she explained. It wasn't hard to sound frightened. 'He came up while I was getting ready for bed. He pinned me on the bed and... interrogated me, I guess. Asked me what you had told me yesterday.'

Clarice drew a breath, 'And you told him?'

'That you had insisted he wasn't Gregory Orbinson. That he was Hannibal Lecter.' the second name came out with a note of sour distaste. 'I argued that you were wrong, but...'

'But?'

A heavy sigh, Lindsey's features falling, she looked at the floor for a moment, then brought her gaze back to Clarice. 'But then, Starling, he told me the truth and you were right.' She sighed again, seeing again her world come down to its very foundations.

Clarice felt a surge of triumph, she did feel for Lindsey, having just lost the man whom she thought she loved, but she had to accept that... 'He's a monster, Lindsey. You did right.'

Lindsey shook her head, unsure of how 'right' the situation was. She was still lost. Clarice was taking charge, but she wasn't sure she was grateful for it.

Clarice came forward and gave her old partner a quick hug. 'You did right, understand that. I'll alert the FBI and we'll find him, put him back where he belongs.' In a cage, she told herself firmly. Before she could stop herself though, Clarice pressed a question she needed to have an answer to, something she knew would upset Lindsey. 'How did you live with him for so long? Didn't you realize? Did he ever drug you, brainwash you?' she remembered her own experience, or more accurately, what she had been told once she had gone through numerous therapy sessions courtesy of the Bureau. Something was always still missing, she felt and knew, and one day, she'd stumble on the right note to trigger it.

Lindsey's eyes flashed indignation. 'No, Clarice, I was never drugged or brainwashed.' Unlike you, she thought quietly. 'Gregory, Hannibal, whoever he was, was nothing but pleasant to me and gave me what I had always wanted.'

Ah, the promise. Clarice's goal had been advancement, what had been Lindsey's that the monster gave her? 'And that was?'

'Happiness. Something I don't think you know, Agent Starling.' Singleton's voice was cold, annoyed with Starling's final questions. 'If you would, kindly leave. You can contact the FBI and get your manhunt rolling, but please, just leave. I need to be by myself right now. I assure you I won't touch anything in the house except what is mine.'

Clarice wavered for a moment, balancing the the thought of leaving Lindsey alone here. No, she decided, she had no reason to protect Dr. Lecter, seeing as he had just abandoned her to the FBI. Clarice nodded slowly and took her leave, hearing Lindsey's bare feet pad the floor behind her, escorting her to the door.

'I'll tell hem that you had no idea, I'll help you.' Clarice told her as she stepped through the door. 'We'll get through this, Lin.'

Lin nodded curtly and managed a hard 'Thank you.' and then the door was closed. Clarice walked down the porch steps, down the walk to where her rental sat at the curb.

Lindsey turned and rested against the door, the tears came first, then the choking sobs. She slid down, sitting haphazardly on the floor, crying. A few hours later Lindsey had found purpose again, and even when the tears threatened, she'd be damned if she would cry for herself anymore.
.-.-.-.