Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Castle.

[No Spoilers in reviews please...]

A/N: This is... challenging, a more complex story than I've tried to write before. Repeat warning: Do not expect daily updates. Second warning: Not an MD, haven't been admitted to hospital in 30+ years (and never in the US); I have done some research, but no I'm not going to get all the details right :-(

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The waiting room at the Bellevue trauma center was still crowded with off duty members of the 12th precinct. Martha and Alexis sat together quietly, the occasional tear escaping Alexis' eyes, but a certain sense of temporary calmness now permeated the pair. Castle was, according to the trauma surgeon, out of immediate danger.

Kate was sitting, her whole body tilted into Lanie; her need for support, for strength was obvious to anyone who looked at her. The normally strong Detective Beckett was still there, in evidence whenever someone spoke to her; a firm 'thank you' to any offer of support or suggestion to hang in there. When alone in her thoughts though Kate's strength seeped out of her with every new worry that crept into her regarding Castle's condition.

Her mind twisted around and around, a simple desire that he be alright running headlong into the harsh reality of a decision she still faced. Two additional hours of twisting at the end of the rope of her own dilemma were gradually taking their toll.

Another doctor approached the waiting area, not the same one as last time; Kate wasn't sure precisely what that meant. This one was slightly shorter, not wearing surgical scrubs, no traces of blood on his sleeves. Kate watched, head still resting on Lanie's shoulder, as he walked straight up to Martha.

"Hello Ms Rodgers, Miss Castle. I'm Doctor James."

Lanie whispered in Kate ear then, "Girl, get over there." Pushing her upright and in the direction of the Martha and Alexis.

Martha immediately pull Kate closer as soon as she was within arms reach, drawing her into her left side while Alexis was tucked close to her right, "This is Katherine Beckett, you can tell her anything you can tell us Doctor. What's the news."

Briskly shaking hands with each of them he started to explain, a little practiced, a little robotic, as if he'd been doing it for a few too many years, "Mister Castle is actually in remarkably good shape according to Doctor McDaniels, I will be taking over on going primary care; Doctor McDaniels is a trauma surgeon rather than an internal medicine specialist."

"As you know he had multiple broken bones, including ribs; so he is likely in some pain. This injuries have been surgically repaired and pinned. He is breathing on his own but we are keeping him sedated for now. His condition has been upgraded from critical to serious."

Kate spoke up, seeking a little clarification, "Likely in some pain?"

The doctor gave a simple nod while continuing his description of the situation, "He is still unconscious at this time. We remain most concerned about his head injuries, there was significant damage, scans show some swelling, but remarkable little considering. The neurologist on call has taken a preliminary look and believes there are still risks of complications. Traumatic brain injuries are extremely difficult to evaluate while the patient is unconscious."

"I'll call Doctor Andrews in to take look if that's ok? She's an old friend."

Doctor James tilted his head slight towards Martha, tilting his head slightly, "Doctor Evelyn Andrews? You know her?"

"Yes, she's an old friend, we've known each other for years."

He gave brisk nod and continuing, "That would be welcome Ms Rodgers. So Mister Castle is being moved to intensive care now, he'll be under continuous monitoring. We expect keep him sedated until at least tomorrow morning, after that monitoring and observation until he wakes and a full cognitive exam can be run."

Beckett stiffened within the embrace of Martha's arm then, "How long before he wakes up?"

"Unclear Ms Beckett, not until he is tapered off the sedatives obviously, but how long after that is hard to predict with his head injuries."

Alexis whispered, her first words a while, "But he will wake up?"

"No guarantees, but his pupils are responsive which rules out some conditions, and there are no real markers that leave us concerned regarding a coma or vegetative state at this stage."

Martha herself felt almost weak at the knees after those comments, and almost had to pull Alexis back upright for a moment, "Perhaps we could leave it there for now Doctor. Can we see him?"

"When he's transferred yes, one at a time and only for a few minutes I'm afraid for right now."

"Thank you Doctor."

Kate held herself back, encouraging Alexis in first to see him, then Martha, finally accepting the inevitable; she needed, wanted to see him even if he wouldn't be able to say anything, to give her any words of comfort.

On entering the intensive care suite she almost stumbled; he looked like a mummy, bandages and dressings covering almost every visible part of him, a metal cage surrounding one of his legs like scaffolding. If this was remarkable good shape or patient she didn't want to know what she had looked like when wheeled out of surgery following her own near death experience. The only saving grace in her view was the lack of a ventilator, he was breathing unaided; and would be able to speak as soon as he woke up.

She approached the bed slowly, not truly sure what she should do, eventually reaching out to ever so softly stroke his cheek, "Hi Rick. Wake up soon okay? Please? I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you so much Rick, need to hear your voice."

After a few more minutes of simply staring at him she felt the weight of everything she faced pushing down on her; the seemingly fruitless hope that his eyes would just pop open was becoming to much. She wanted to feel their blue glare pierce her heart once again, had to leave to regain control before breaking down even further.

Kate rejoined Lanie, sitting close to Martha and Alexis, close but apart; not sure where she fit, where she even wanted to fit into the future of the Castle clan. Her eyes eventually drifted closed, pulling her into a short nap, tension having worn her to the bone.

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Beckett excused herself from the others, it seemed as if half of the 12th precinct was in the waiting area still; they all knew now it could be days before Castle woke up, but it didn't seem to matter, nobody wanted to leave. She wandered slowly away, down the long corridor leading to the waiting area from entrance, her steps reversing the path she had taken earlier that had led her to Castle.

Stepping outside she took a deep breath, it was getting late now; darkness had settled onto the city, it never slept, the lights never went out, but New York still managed to drag a dark blanket over itself sometimes.

Kate had to make a call, needed more time to gather her thoughts, to reach a decision she wouldn't end up regretting or resenting later. She scrolled though her recent recently received call list, knowing despite the hour that he'd still be in his office, or reachable; no longer delaying she hit connect. The call was promptly answered but a calm, assured voice, "Deputy Director Freedman's office. Danielle speaking."

"Hello, this is Katherine Beckett, is he available?"

"Of course Detective Beckett, he's been anticipating your call. One second." The complete silence at the other end of the line telling her another truth; she was on hold.

Abruptly a voice broken into the silence, a clipped tone, and a single word, "Freedman."

"Sir. This is Katherine Beckett."

"I know Beckett. I wouldn't be answering if I didn't know who was on the line already. Do you have an answer for me?"

"I need more time sir. My partner.. He's had a bad accident, I just need a little while longer."

The voice held no particular emotion as it continued, as if just stating facts, "I'm sorry about your partner. But the job offer is for you, not a team; you can't let an old partnership hold you back from this opportunity. If you want the job, it's yours; but you'll be moving on from your old team anyway. It's Wednesday, you have until 5pm Friday to give me your answer, if we haven't heard by then we'll assume it's a no."

He had hung up. Beckett had bought herself a couple of days at least. A couple more days to think things through, perhaps to make one of the biggest decision of her life without the input she had sought from the other person who would be so effected by it.

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The rest of the twelfth precinct did eventually start to drifted away that night, a recognition seeping into them that nothing would be known soon. Despite the hopes of everyone there the situation just wasn't going to be resolved quickly. As the clock approached midnight there were only three of them left, Martha and Alexis huddled together once again.

Kate sat apart, having separated herself, needing to be alone, to have some distance; trying to remain calm, to process the decision still laying heavy on her shoulders. Ryan had left earlier, needing to go home to his wife, to tell her in person about what was going on away from the stark reality of a hospital. Lanie had also left to go get a little sleep before her next shift, telling Kate she'd drop by again as soon as she could. Esposito had wandered off as some point and Kate honestly had no idea where he had gone.

"Okay ladies it is time to get take a break, to regroup," Martha voice jarred both Kate and Alexis out of their respective dozes.

"Grams?"

"Richard is going to be sedated until tomorrow morning at the earliest, we all need to go home shower, eat, whatever."

"I don't want to leave him, what.."

"He's not going to wake up tonight Katherine, you'll feel better coming back in the morning, sleeping in a real bed and taking a shower. I'm his mother, I'll stay up with him; when you get back we can trade custody. Go!"

Martha herded them out of the waiting area before giving them each a gentle push in the back in the direction of the exit.

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After a restless night of sleep Beckett was up very early, dawn only just breaking. She stood under the steaming flow of a hot shower, cleaning a day and nights worth of grime from her skin. She felt that so much more that simple dirt was holding her down weighing on her and she was still no closer to the final conversation she desperately needed to have. She pressed her fingers to the scar on her chest, recalling how it had led to concealment of such important things, and the almost ending of their relationship before it had even had the chance to start. Kate had needed time then, asked him to wait; and she had no similar time to offer him now, needing immediate answers about futures and fates.

Stepping out of the shower she dried and dressed quickly, casually rather than in her usual detective-wear having no plans to head to the precinct: only one destination in kind for the day, Castle's hospital room. Beckett did need to clear the day though, needed to drop in a quick call to Gates to clear a vacation day.

Getting into the hospital proved a little more challenging than it had the day before; there was press outside. Castle wasn't exactly an A-list celebrity, but there were photographers being corralled outside the main entrance; so Beckett slipped in though the ambulance bay into the trauma centre and quickly headed to the intensive care ward and waiting area.

Martha was having a relatively animated conversation with Paula Hass as Kate walked up.

"I cannot believe you didn't call me yesterday Martha. I know I'm not family but seriously? The first I hear about this is a nugget on Page 6 this morning? Richard Castle injured, in critical condition. I needed to know, needed to know yesterday to keep this all under control."

Martha, who was looking worn and tired, replied crisply, "PR was not a primary consideration Paula. You just need to release a statement asking for privacy and keep things under control."

"How is he really?"

Kate closed the gap to Martha then, putting an arm around her shoulder in a reciprocal show of support to mimic the offer of yesterday, speaking up to take the burden from Martha, "He's still in serious condition Paula. That's all the press needs to know."

"Look at this and tell me that's all the press needs to know," Paula held out a copy of the NYPost open to the Page 6 column: "Castle's in the Sky? Sources tell us that Richard Castle, best selling master of the macabre, took a bit of a flight off the front of a yellow cab yesterday afternoon and was rushed to Bellevue; no word form his publicist on his current status. We will, of course, keep out readers and his fans up to date with the latest as we uncover it."

Martha was edging on irate, her previous calm demeanor fading way, "How did the press get this information Paula?"

Kate squeezed her arm around Martha, who she realized was likely reaching the end of her sleepless rope by now, "Probably a police scanner, he's well known Martha, especially to cops; it was likely a accidental leak. Serious condition Paula, that's all they need to know."

"Ok, give me a moment." Paula turned away and pulled out her cell to make a call.

Beckett turned to Martha, hand still maintaining much need contact with her shoulder, "No news I assume?"

She shook her head, "I would have called."

"Ok, you should go, get some rest; I'll man the fort until you get back ok?"

"Thank you Katherine, you won't be alone long, Alexis just texted me, she's on her way."

Martha stared walking slowing out of the building, before Kate caught her and asked security to escort her around the cameras outside; she just didn't think Martha would want her picture taken right now, with lines at the corners of her eyes and day old makeup on.

Paula was stood waiting as Kate turned around, "She wants to talk to you, or Martha, but she left."

She gave Paula a questioning look, "Who?"

Paula passed the phone over to Kate, "Gina."

Kate hesitated then lifted the phone to her ear, "Gina?"

"Detective Beckett. I may not be his wife anymore but thought you might do the courtesy of keeping me up to date, or letting me know at all. Instead I hear it from Paula."

"Look Gina I don't owe you an update, but I'll let you know if anything changes ok? He's sedated right now, won't be waking up anytime soon and he's in serious condition. That's all I know, now you know it too. Satisfied?"

"It'll do. Goodbye detective."

Alexis arrived just as Gina hung up and Kate returned Paula's cell, looking refreshed around the edges but tension clearly visible in eye, walking straight up to Kate giving her quick hug, "Any news?"

"Nothing, Martha just left, I was going to go sit with him, but I can wait if you want to go in?"

"Thanks, I just want to look at him ok, I'll be out quick and you can spend seem time with him then. Oh.. and.. I called my mom las night, she's going to fly in, should be here Saturday sometime."

"Meredith is coming?"

"Yeah, she insisted when I told her he was hurt."

Beckett went to sit, the future looking particularly unpleasant; Meredith inbound, and Gina likely to be constantly looking over her shoulder throughout. After a few minutes sitting Alexis came back out of Castle's room before indicating she's get a couple of coffees and heading toward the cafeteria.

Kate walking in to see him for the fist time that day, he looked no better, still mummified with only a little skin visible in his face around the bandages. What little there was though, she had to touch.

"Hi Rick. Come back ok? I'm waiting to talk ok? I miss you Rick."

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By early Friday morning a routine had been established, rotating Martha, Alexis, and Beckett into Castle's room for two hour shifts; each of them simply sat and watched him. If they talked to him, they did not share what was said with the others. While off Castle watch duty they would ensure food, coffee, whatever was needed was in free supply.

Beckett had little to say to him truthful, beyond repetitions of "Come back to me" and "Talk to me Rick". After one particular iteration of her needs, his eyes fluttered and her heart almost stopped. She waited a moment, but nothing future happened and she reached to press the call button. Settling back it watch and wait for future developments.

"Detective Beckett?" A nurses entered the room looking at her questioningly as she moved to check Castle's vital signs. "Something changed?"

Beckett watched her as she worked, responding softly, "His eyes fluttered."

"That's a good sign, as you know he was tapered off sedatives yesterday, but he'll still be in an enormous amount of pain given his injuries. I'm going to give him something to proactively managed that."

Kate watched as Denise picked up a syringe from for a tray she had carried with her.

"Don't you need a doctor to prescribe something first?"

Denise flashed a quick, easy smile over to Beckett, "I'm a nurse practitioner Detective Beckett, I'm authorized; no need to call vice on me."

"I though Harry was the nurse practitioner for Castle on this shift?"

"Harry too Detective, Mister Castle is a high profile patient; his mother has pulled out all the stops from what I hear, Doctor Andrews is the best consulting neurologist in the city. I'm going to call in her and Doctors James to check on him now. Excuse me."

Checks were made, with Doctor James once again emphasizing that things looked as positive as they could right now, only time would tell, and the consequences of his head injuries, if any, were difficult to predict at the current stage. Doctor Andrews, whom Martha had welcomed with a hug, had essentially confirmed the same; indicating she was here to monitor Castle, but the outlook and current uncertainty would be substantially clarified once the patient woke up.

Doctor James once again spoke up eventually, "He is starting to wake up. That is very positive news, occurring so soon after injuries this extensive. Under these circumstances we're going to allow multiple people in his room when he does wake, a few familiar faces might help him remain calm."

They all monitored Castle more closely then before as his eye flutters grew more frequent and he made occasional noises. Eventually they all gathered in his room when Doctor Andrews indicated he as likely to wake in the very near future, Alexis closest where she could reach out and touch his face, but hands clapped tightly together in front of her, knuckles pale. Martha next, with her arm around the shoulder of Alexis, giving her regular, gentle squeezes, life a slow beating heart transferring it's life to everything touched.

Beckett stood a little apart still, closer to the nurse practitioners and doctors, than to Castle's family. Every time his eyes fluttered there were small gasps of hesitations in the regular in-out breathing permeating the room. Slowly the flutters clustered closer and closer together, until finally his eyes cracked open, then slipped back closed with a single groaned word.

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Castle finally felt real consciousness start to return, the darkness had finally recede enough. Absolutely every part of him hurt, but the numbed pain that felt it belong to someone else, or someplace else; distant from his own body.

He so desperately wanted to wake though, he felt odd, like something had happened. Though his limbs felt so heavy his eye lids were ultimately cooperative. He blinked open his eyes, fluttering them against the assault of the bright light in the room, until he finally managed to squeak out a single word, "Bright!"

Someone apparently heard him and understood his plight, and few moments later when he cracked open his eyes once again there was a much more subdued light surrounding him. He managed to keep his eyes open for a few moments, looking around the unfamiliar faces in the room; so many doctors and nurses. He surmised that his injuries must have been extensive, or they all wanted to see the famous author wake up.

His gaze finally landed on Martha and he smiled weakly at her, before moving on to the other red head, who bore a striking resemblance to Alexis. Something was wrong though, she didn't look quite right, the tears on her face and the happy smile did not alleviate his growing sense that something was very wrong.

Castle flicked his gaze quickly around the room again, looking for another face, "Gina?"

One of the others in the room, not hospital staff judging from the lack of scrubs, spoke up then, a little sharp, questioning, "Gina?"

"My wife," but that was all he could manage before his eyes closed once again.