Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own Castle.

[No Spoilers in reviews please...]

A/N: I've done some research here too, but maybe ended up taking a few liberties (probably less than you might think though). Interesting range of reactions too, thanks for all the reviews; I try to respond to each one personally! With at least you thank you, more if I can. Apparently I'm awful at building suspense...

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As soon as Castle closed his eyes again, before any one else had chance to more than murmur with surprise, Doctor Andrews had stepped forward raised her hands and gestured everyone out of the room giving indications for silence.

She spoke when everyone had stepped outside, maintaining a quiet controlled voice, "Martha, let's move this discussion to the waiting area okay?"

Both Kate and Alexis remained speechless as they were guided back to the intensive care waiting room, questions running through their respective heads. No fewer questions running rampant in Martha's, but she felt confident her old friend Evelyn, rather than Doctor Andrews, consulting neurologist, would explain it all and address her worries in short order. At least that's what she repeated to herself, over and over in her head.

It was early morning on a Friday, the waiting area was otherwise unoccupied, making the large room as private as could be reasonably expected in an intensive care unit. Doctor Andrews stopped sharply in he middle of the room, turning to face Martha and Alexis.

"For Clarity again Martha, do I have permission to discuss Richard's case in front of Detective Beckett?"

Martha nodded her consent, unsure where everything was headed, but right now only concerned about his health, and in all likelihood Richard would want Katherine to know what was going on regardless of the state of their relationship.

"Well, thank you, okay... Obviously things are very unclear right now. It is not at all unusual for victims of traumatic brain injuries to suffer from some sort of amnesia, and is most cases the effect are transitory and effect only recent memories."

Alexis brought up the issue that she knew was on the mind of at least herself, probably Kate and Martha too, "Recent memories? My dad hasn't be married to Gina for years."

"Miss Castle, I may need more specifics on the time line of your father's life later; but for now I just want to provide you with a little information. Okay?"

"Sure doctor, I just.. I just want to know what's going on with my dad."

Beckett stepped beside Alexis giving her a quick one armed hug, "We all do Alexis, we all do."

Doctor Andrews gave them a moment to regather themselves before continuing, "Large scale retrograde amnesia is quite rare, short-term confusion far more common when a patient wakes after a significant injury. When Richard wakes again I will hopefully be able to complete a more thorough assessment, and make a more precise diagnosis."

"Evelyn? You'll be able to tell if it's temporary?"

"Not exactly Martha, but confused memories leave holes rather than erasing periods of time, so in questioning the patient the goal is to establish what the most recent events remembered are. If those memories are recent, however spotty they may be then it is far more likely the missing ones are only temporarily gone."

"If the most recent memories are the distant past?"

"Well let's cross that bridge when we come to it. All that said, since assessment of his status both now and during his near-term evaluation is contingent on establishing what he remembers, it is essential that none of you prompt him with information."

"What can we say doctor? When he was married to Gina I was a teenager, he's going to know something is wrong as soon as he looks at me properly."

"That's why I will try and complete my assessment very shortly after he wakes, if he does ask questions, then try and be as brief as possible for now. It's important to not add confusion to the matter though, do not make up a story to avoid answering, just dodge the question if necessary. He may accuse you of being evasive, but it needs to be done; and right now, what's best for Mister Castle should be our primary concern."

Doctor Andrews looked from face to face, waiting for each to acknowledge what she had said before moving to the next. When she had received an affirmative response from them all there was a final nod from her too, "Okay, so I will be reviewing his brain scans taken in the trauma center while we wait, if his condition changes the nursing staff or Doctor James will update me."

"Thank you Evelyn, we'll all just hope for the best."

She smiled at everyone, trying to add some comfort, to keep everyone focused on the good news of how well he was doing, "Relax everyone, the scary part is over; physically he appears to be doing very, very well all things considered."

Alexis turned away walking back towards her fathers room, "I'm going to go sit with him for a while."

Doctor Andrews turned to Martha as she watch Alexis move slowly down the corridor, "Martha, I need some information from you please; and Detective Beckett there are few things I need from you too, preferably before Mister Castle wake again."

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Kate was back to pacing in the waiting area ten minutes later after answering a few questions for Doctor Andrews and promising to have some requested photos emailed over promptly. Martha was still being grilled by Evelyn about all aspects of Castle's life from childhood until recent events; and Kate promised she'd update people on his status.

Kate couldn't help but wonder: why did everything have to be so complicated? She pulled out her phone to call her confidant, needing to hear a voice that knew her well.

"Lanie Parrish."

"Lanie, I need... It's.. I don't know what to do Lanie."

"Girl you sound upset, is Castle alright?"

"Depends on what you mean by alright."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"He woke up, briefly. He asked for Gina."

There was almost screech down the phone, "What!?"

"Said he wanted to see his wife."

There was no question in Lanie's mind that Kate only feeding her dribs and drabs, "Girl! You are not telling me everything are you? What did the doctors say?"

"They think it might be temporary memory loss, or maybe amnesia; they don't know."

"So he might really think he's still married to her? Look Kate its not like memory problems are unusual after sever head injuries, it's the most likely explanation."

"What if it isn't? What if he's just decided he'd rather have Gina than me again? Wouldn't be the first time."

"Kate I think things are a bit different between you and him than they were back then."

"What if they aren't? I'm supposed to just wait around for him to get his head out of his ass and realized Gina isn't right for him? Again?"

"What do you mean again? He dumped Gina way before you broke up with Josh, he was the one waiting Kate, you know that; he waited a long time for you to be ready."

"I don't have time for this! I don't have time for him to get his act together this time Lanie!"

"Girlfriend! Get over yourself or I'm gonna come over there and smack you! You're my best friend and I know this is a difficult time for you but seriously? He's had a head injury, memory problems; this isn't act he can get together. He needs to heal, and that's going to take time."

"What if he's just faking it? Doesn't want to talk to me about what's going on so he's pretending to forgot all about us?"

"Kate! You seriously think he'd fake amnesia to avoid a hard conversation? He'd put Alexis through that? His mother? He'd put you through that? What kind of man do you think he is?"

Kate was staring down at her phone. She'd hung-up on her best friend, that last comment hitting a little too close to home. She realized that she was probably being a little unfair, a little irrational; but it felt so good to blame, to be angry at him rather than to wallow in the difficulty of the decision still hanging over her head. She couldn't let his injury dictate her decision, the direction of her life, anymore than she could their relationship; it had to be her choice, her decision, or she'd end up resenting him for what reason it was that she felt trapped by.

He phone beeped a minute later with a message from Lanie: [When u calm down. Call if need 2 talk. Here 4 u.] She responded with a simply [thx] but didn't feel up to talking to Lanie, who seemed to be a bit more antagonistic than she wanted to deal with today.

Kate supposed she owed Gina a call, both with a promised update and because he'd asked for her; despite her personal feelings on the matter she had responsibilities. In the end she had to stick her head back into Martha discussion with Evelyn to get Gina's personal cell number, having never had a reason to store in her phone before.

"Gina Cowell speaking."

Kate tried to put stick with her most professional voice, but it was hard to even acknowledge the name she had to speak after what had happened earlier, "Gina it's Detective Beckett."

"Detective Beckett, I assume there's more information? How is he?"

The next few words she had to speak, to acknowledge verbally to Gina what had been said were hard, beyond hard, they felt strange, thick rolling off her tongue, lie her mouth didn't want to let them escape, "He woke up a little while ago, but seems confused about some things. He asked for you, said you were his wife."

"Really?!"

Unsure if it was shock or excitement laced through Gina's voice Kate needed to pop that bubble right away; it was amnesia, nothing but amnesia that made him ask for Gina, "The doctors here think it's normal memory confusion after a head injury, but they aren't sure yet."

"So it might all be rectified in short order?"

"Maybe. They don't know. I just wanted to let you know."

"Thank you detective, I'll try and stop by the hospital when I have some free time. Full day of meetings today though, it'll be later."

No matter how Castle felt about Gina now, there was little doubt in Kate's mind that Gina had little more than a professional loyalty to him. If it was anything more than that surely she would have visited before now, rearranged her schedule a little to fit Castle in?

Kate sat back down in an uncomfortable waiting room chair and ran through the rest of her calls, updating Ryan, Esposito, a quick update for Gates; even remembering to call Paula.

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Richard felt awareness return gain, slowly he became aware of the sounds in the room, the regular beeping of what he suspected was his pulse. He cracked his eyes, to find that the room was still lit by subdued ambient light rather than bright overhead neon. There was a mound of red hair resting on his bed, and he smiled internally; knowing it could only be one person.

"Alexis."

Alexis jerked her head up at the sound of the whisper, raising it from where it was resting near her fathers shoulder, putting a crick in her neck, to where she could look into his now open eyes. She'd been resting, needing to be near him, for an hour now; half way through her allot share of time, and grateful she was the one who saw him wake up again.

"Hi dad, how are feeling?" She reached out to press the nurse call button, then focused her college in divided attention on his slightly glassy eyes.

Just watching Alexis sit up he knew something was wrong, not just wrong with him but with the world, his daughter should not look so big, she was still supposed to be his little girl, "I hurt. What happened? Why are you so big Pumpkin?"

Alexis had planned for this, she was ready, prepared with a leaf taken from her LaserTag play book: dodge, evade, conceal, "Just rest dad, the nurse will be here soon."

"Was I in a coma? Tell me I was in coma. Rip van Castle right? Did I rate a story in the Post?"

None specific evasive responses, that's what the doctor ordered: "What are you taking about dad?"

He knew without a shadow of doubt it would make such a great story, "You know how it goes, the headline, the story; Castle Escapes! Richard Castle has finally escaped the walled off fortress of his mind after whiling away the last 5 years? Has it been 10 years Alexis? How long?"

The key to proper concealment Alexis knew was in making things look like they are appropriate, such as her concern for his physical condition, "How's you leg feeling dad?"

Apparently in getting bigger his little girl had also gotten smarter, more cunning; well he could out maneuver her still, he was her dad! Dodge this: "I may be drugged Pumpkin, but you are not 13 anymore. How old are you?"

Alexis was opening her mouth to reply, though not entirely sure what to say when Nurse Denise walked in. She almost thrust her arms above her head in victory: Saved!

"Ahh! The patient is awake? How are you Mister Castle? How's the pain?"

"I feel woosy. I hurt. What can I say? I have enough scaffolding to support the Statue of Liberty wrapped around my leg."

Denise let out a small chuckle, "Okay Mister Castle, always nice to see patients in good spirits. I'm going to page Doctor Andrews, she'll want to talk to you right away. Just rest easy for now."

As she left Castle turned to Alexis, and smirked, "Where can I go? I have a broken leg apparently, maybe two, they're both numb."

"Just rest a minute dad, okay."

Rest was for later, he wanted to know his own story, had a compulsion to find out others'; had never realized before how he'd feel if he was missing part of his own, it was eating him up already.

"Not a coma right Alexis? How would I break a leg and get this messed up in coma? Unless a organ harvesting ring tried to snatch my body while I was unconscious. Then dropped me from a window as an escape plan. That's it right?"

"No dad. Nobody tried to kidnap your unconscious body."

"Wouldn't be a kidnap any way, I'm too old, it'd be an abduction."

"Just stop dad! The doctor needs to speak to you, then we can probably find out what's going on okay?"

"Sure Pumpkin, everything is going to be fine. Umm... Can you get me some water please, I feel a little dry now."

"Okay dad."

Alexis steeped out of the suite to get a glass of water, but when heading back I she was intercepted by Doctor Andrews.

"Miss Castle, I'm going to need some time alone with your father while I assess him, I'll take him the water; why don't you go as join Martha in the waiting area?"

"Ok sure, how long will you need?"

"Perhaps an hour, but however long it takes."

Alexis watched her enter the room and then walked back to the waiting area seeing both Martha and Kate sitting, waiting.

"He woke up again. Doctor Andrews is with him now."

Kate looked up immediate, a hopeful look trying to find a foothold on her face, "Did he say anything new? Remember anything?"

"Sorry. No. Just that I didn't look like I was 13 anymore and should. He knows something is off, thought he might have been in a coma."

"He doesn't now?"

"No, too many details didn't match, the story didn't hang together; and the story always has work in his head for him to be happy, for him to stop trying to fix it."

Martha held out a hand to pull Alexis into the seat next to her, murmuring into her hair, "Relax Pumpkin, everything will be ok, let Evelyn do her assessment and then well know more. Rest."

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Castle watched another doctor push into his suite, this one carrying a glass of what that she placed within easy reach of his hand before pulling up a stool to sit down beside his bed.

"Mister Castle, I'm Doctor Evelyn Andrews, your neurologist. A pleasure to see you again, a little more awake this time."

"I have a neurologist? You think I'm crazy or something?"

"Not crazy, no Mister Castle."

"That'd be a psychiatrist anyway. But you think something is wrong, right? Or you wouldn't be here. Can you stop with the Mister Castle? Rick or Richard please."

"Certainly Richard. I'm just going to ask some questions okay?"

"I suppose, but what do you think is wrong with me? Brain damage? I wasn't in a coma I know that much, but that doesn't mean I don't have brain damage."

"What exactly did Miss Castle tell you Richard?"

"Precisely? Nothing. But she is not 13. And that is how old I remember her being this morning when I made her breakfast."

"Why don't we focus on assessing you rather than you quizzing me?"

"Sure I guess. Go ahead."

"Well stay out with some basic knowledge questions okay?"

"Sure."

"What year is it?"

"That's a trick question already. I mean you want me to say 2007, but I know it's not true; Alexis is too big for it to be 2007."

"Who is the President?"

"George Bush. The second one. Not now though. Term limits. Who's the President now? Must be either Romney or Clinton, Hillary not Bill."

"Okay Richard, how about some personal questions?"

Rick smirked an her, sure she was his mothers age, but a little charm never hurt, "Sure, but not too personal. I am married you know."

"Who is your wife?"

"Gina Cowell. Who's haven't seen here but the way, is she out of town? Why isn't she here?"

"How did you meet?"

"She was my publicist, now she's my editor."

"What does she edit?"

"Well, I'm a writer. Well, a New York Times best selling author, the master of the macabre to be precise, if you believe my publicist at least."

"Can you tell me the name of your first book?"

"In a Hail of Bullets. It won awards."

"What about your most recent one?"

"Storm Rising, my sixth Derrick Storm book. You want to know them all? The first one was A Calm Before The Storm, then Storm's Break, Storm Warning, Unholy Storm, Gathering Storm, Storm Rising; and I've just finished Driving Storm but haven't turned in the manuscript yet. Might have been published while I was sleeping though. You want all the other books I've written?"

"That won't be necessary Richard."

"I can list them all, plus their peak position on the bestseller list if you want. My memory is fine!"

"You're doing great Richard. Just a few more things."

Doctor Andrews the pulled out a tablet and placed it in front of him, pulling up a familiar picture, the front of his loft building.

"Now Richard I want you to look at each of these pictures carefully, tell me which ones you recognize, or seem familiar and why; the as no right or wrong answers, just tell me what you think."

"I have some sort of amnesia don't I?"

"Just go through the pictures please Richard, I'll talk over everything with you later. Don't expect to recognize all or even most Richard, some are controls; so there's no point trying to cheat the test."

He grabbed his glass of water to refresh his dry throat and started flipping slowly through the pictures, which included familiar and unfamiliar places, faces, and what appeared to be news paper headlines and other news photographs.

It was a slow process, so many familiar picture, but he knew the whole process was a memory test; with lost of dummy pictures to keep him honest; a couple of unfamiliar apartment buildings, a few police precincts, not including the one where he was taken after his arrest; so many faces too, one he presumed was a newly famous model that he wasn't familiar with, but there were so many other strange faces too.

When he had finished, Doctor Andrews, who had been taking continuous notes and questioning him throughout, took the tablet from his hands, speaking gently, "You need to rest now, that was a lot of strain given your injuries. If you have any signs of developing a headache press the call button and Denise will given you something to help. Seriously Richard, any sign of a headache, press the button."

Castle wasn't really paying attention by then, he felt incredibly worn down and was drifting off to sleep again.

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Doctor Andrews approached the waiting area, seeing three women sitting together in companionable silence.

"Ladies, I cleared one one the counseling rooms if you'd care to join me."

After everyone had filed in, water glass provided, Doctor Andrews began what sounds like a formal presentation.

Doctor Andrews has a firm, no nonsense professional tone, not harsh, but clearly expecting to be listened to, "Mister Castle has, as you know, suffered substantial injuries as the result of being struck by a vehicle. His skeletal injuries have largely been dealt with, though he remains in significant pain, and there is no internal bleeding; his head injury is more complex."

"The good news is he's showing remarkable resilience from those physical injuries, he will be moved shortly to a private recovery room to free up space in this intensive care unit."

Alexis visibly relaxed at ht, he was being moved from intensive care, he must be out of the woods, "He's doing ok then?"

"Physically yes, there is the other issue though. His skull in fracture but has been surgically repaired; that though does not address the injury to his brain. He suffered what we call a traumatic brain injury, you are likely familiar with concussions, which are the mildest form of such injuries. They alone can cause significant problems, sensitivity to light, headaches, dizziness, and other compilations; they can also have an impact on memory."

"Typically traumatic brain injuries effect episodic memory rather than procedural memory, which is why Mister Castle has no speech problems and is unlikely to have any problem with day to day activities such as walking, beyond the rehabilitation a needed his physical injuries at least. Traumatic injuries such as this can cause issues beyond memory loss, including personality changes, these other issues will have to be monitored for."

Martha held up a hand, interrupting the flow of information, "Evelyn, this is fascinating but what is wrong with my son?"

"Sorry Martha, habit; my assessment including examining his brain scans and my interview, indicates retrograde amnesia, that is the complete loss of episodic and autobiographical memory from periods from the middle of 2007 to today."

Kate felt her eyes start to water, she was not the sort to cry in public, to show any sort of weakness in public; but this was too much, his memories of their entire history were gone. Their stumbles apart, inevitable attraction back together, everything gone by virtue of a mistimed stumble off a curb. She managed to squeeze out some words from her lips, which were pressed tight together to prevent them from quivering, "Will he get them back?"

"Unfortunately Detective that is where retrograde amnesia is so hard to predict. In some cases there is complete and relatively rapid recovery of memories, in others it's a slow process; and in some cases I'm afraid portions of the memories are never recovered. I understand that this is hard, particularly for you; during the assessment he did not recognize your picture, any other current personnel, or indeed the building itself of the 12th precinct."

Alexis had tear tracks down her face, while the suspicion of memory loss had been hard to bear, the confirmation of potential permanent loss of years was a major blow, "Can't we prod him? Show him pictures? My graduation video, he loved it!"

"Prompting is not really an effective tool for dealing with retrograde amnesia I'm afraid, memories when the do return often do so spontaneously, often during sleep. What we do know is that typically older memories are more likely to return, the pathways are more established."

"What are his chances of recovering memories?"

"I do not like to speculate.."

"Evelyn, for me, speak to me as my friend not Doctor Andrews."

Evelyn tone lost some of its clipped professional edge as she continued, clearly this part of the discussion was something she was not doing from a carefully placed position behind a professional veil, "Well... Purely speculating, I have been doing this along time, seen a lot of cases: so I'd say this is better than a layman's guess; but still don't put too much weight on what I'm about to say. Most likely? Given the damage on the scans, and the scale of the amnesia, he most likely will never fully recovers the missing memories. A good chance he recovers some though, give the length time missing. Best guess, and this really is a guess, maybe he eventually recovers half, begins to remember time periods up to about 2010."

Kate felt a tear running down her cheek, a tightness in her chest; even the best hope was horrible, perhaps worse than not remembering them at all. If he recovered those years all he would remember would be her irritation at him, how in the end they'd ended up separated, her alone but unknown to him, and him getting back together with Gina. If Evelyn was right, their history as a couple would be gone forever; her question about their future answered: they had none because they had no past either.

Alexis had dropped out of her chair to throw her arms around Martha, both needing companionship. Kate reached a hand across the table toward them, but they were to wrapped up in each other to notice anyone else in that moment.

"Ladies! All is not lost, even memories that are not recovered can be rebuilt, experiences relived, stories told to him; he can relearn the things forgotten. He clearly has the support of the three of you and countless others I'm sure, many others, his life is not over, his life with you is not over."

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Kate had immediately exited the meeting then, glancing at the others as she almost shuffled out of the room. No matter what was going to happen she needed to see him now. She approached his room hesitatingly, not sure what to say, not sure what to do; other than look at him.

When she stepped into his suite it appeared he was sleeping, but nonetheless a sense of warmth flowed through her at sound of the beeping heart monitor. Alive. Alive. Alive. Alive.

His eyes opened as she approached the bed, and she wondered: did his body sense her familiarity even if his mind and memories did not? Kate tried to smile at him, but everything hurt so much, she wasn't honestly sure what expression showed on her face, "Hello?"

His response, from what she could see of his face was one of confusion, "What are you doing here?"

Kate felt her pulse pick up, "Do you recognized me Castle?"

"Well Doctor Andrews showed me a lot pictures and you were one of them, I thought you were a model or something."

Her heart fell, a better description might be plummeted, it was one thing for the doctor to tell her she was unrecognized, another thing to hear it from lips that had told her she was loved, was extraordinary, that they were always.

"Am I supposed to know you?"

She could hear the blood rushing through her veins now, a pounding sound in her ears, a slight feeling of lightheadedness creeping up on her, it was too hard to contemplate telling him everything now, everything they had been to each other; to much to contemplate at the moment when he knew nothing of her, "Yeah Castle, I'm a NYPD detective, you helped out on some cases."

"I did? Why do you keep calling me Castle? My friends call me Rick or Richard. I take it we didn't know each other particularly well?"

Beckett had picked up one case early in her career where the vic was killed by an unmedicated mental patient who saw vampires everywhere. Castle would have loved it: the guy killed his landlady with a stake through the heart. Kate was now certain she knew exactly what that felt like.

"You don't have any memory of us at all do you Rick. You don't know who I am."

"I'm sorry, but no, I really have no idea."