Angel
"C'mon Katie, come back to us," I begged. Her body slumped lifelessly against my arm. I felt helpless as I looked to Hershel for answers.
"It's common, don't worry," Hershel tried to assure me, but it did no good. All I could think about was how my gram had the same thing happen before she died. She was in and out of a coma for months, then one day woke up and was chattering away like nothing happened. The next week, she was dead.
Katie jerked in my arms and it all but scared the life outta me. Hershel restrained her as she jerked and shook, her body seizing for a good minute before relaxing.
This happened several more times over the next week. To say the least, the week was a living hell. No matter how you looked at it.
Katie
Rick refused to let my group into their cellblock. I would have been pissed if I hadn't had the same reservation towards them myself. With the exception to Daryl, who made me think of my time back in prison with Merle, the group was nothing but downright awful. Carol, this older, kinder woman, took a shining to Mackenzie, but that was as far as the pleasantries went. I later learned that Grace had to all but beg for them to let the group in the gate in the first place. Daryl had argued their cause, for whatever reason, for which I was grateful.
"Mommy, I'm hungry," Mackenzie whined. We had shared a cold can of beans a few hours prior. I guess I'd been out for a whole 24 hours before those damn dogs woke me up. Bessy was cut up and nothing but a bag of bones, but her pup, who I named Blade, in honor of his jet black fur, was a bit better off. I made a mental note to explain the circle of life to Mackenzie soon, so that Bes could finally go in peace. How that old bitch survived so long was beyond me. Last I'd seen her, she was practically being sucked dry by her unborn pups. How she survived birth, much less raised a pup, was beyond my wildest dream.
"Blade, sit," I told the pup as I stood up, stretching my stiff muscles. My back ached from sleepin' sitting up, but it was better than risking falling into a comfortable slumber. I wasn't sure what Rick and the rest were capable of.
"Mommy!" Mackenzie's whines grew louder.
"For crying out loud, Mackenzie, I know. I know. You're hungry. You're tired. You're cold and just want to go home. Why not tell me something I don't already know?" I snapped, fed up with her constant string of complaints.
"Chill out, Katie," Scottie scolded me.
"Ya know what," I spat, spinning towards him. "I think I might've liked it better out there in the damn forest!"
"None of us like being caged up, Kate, that doesn't give ya a damn right to go spittin' accusations around now," Grace said gently.
I was about to say something when I heard the gate to our small cell clink. I looked towards the doorway, my heart racing. Ever since I learned of the group's less than friendly mannerisms, I'd been of red alert.
"C'mon," Daryl motioned, a small smile playing on his lips. "You look ready to go insane in there."
"No shit," I snorted, grabbing my sling shot off the floor.
"Kate," Scottie warned. Unlike me, he didn't trust anyone here, especially not Daryl.
"Dixon's a good man," I shot back. Scottie looked uneasy, but nodded at my declaration. I sucked at judging people and he knew it. I was either too cautious or too trusting. Never a good thing.
"Blade, c'mon," I called the dog. He happily lopped after me. I turned as Daryl relocked the cell door, his hands hesitantly turning the key.
"You don't agree with Rick," I noted.
"It's not that," he sighed.
"Then what?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
"Your lot. Y'all don't seem dangerous," he shrugged. I was about to argue that, but decided against it.
We followed Blade out into the prison yard. The young dog rolled in the grass happily, clearly as stir crazy as the rest of us. I smirked as he tripped over his own feet, his oversized paws proving to be an obstacle for him.
"Ya know, your brother, he was a decent guy when he wanted to be," I said carefully. Daryl through me a bewildered look.
"You mind explainin' how you know Merle?" he huffed.
"Me and Merle, we go way back," I chuckled. "We landed ourselves in prison the same day for the same charges," I laughed softly to myself, remembering the night I was arrested for drug possession. It was three years before either of my children were born.
"Dude, we're gonna get caught" my drug buddy, Mike, argued as I shot the heroin up my vein. I leaned against the trash cans, my eyes shut.
"Ain't got nothin' better to do," I chuckled.
"Katie, c'mon," he pleaded. Normally it was the other way around, but this time, I was so hopped up on dope, nothing could bring me down.
The blare of sirens couldn't even jerk me from my drug induced oblivion. It wasn't until the next day when the high wore off and the nagging, gut wrenching withdrawal set in that I sobered up enough to realize that I was sitting in a prison cell, all alone except for the gruff, angry man sitting across from me.
"Got a smoke?" I asked him.
"Naw, lil' lady," he snorted.
"Sonovabitch," I grumbled. I leaned against the stone wall, not really caring about the man or what he was in for. He proceeded to tell me anyway.
"Got caught with Meth," he muttered, shaking his head. "T'was a real good lot too."
"Meth your vice?" I asked him.
He nodded. "Yours?"
I rolled up my sleeve. "Heroin," I muttered.
"Shit'll kill ya," he said, almost like he cared.
"So will life," I sighed.
Over the next two months we talked a lot. I told him about my family, he told me about his brother. We shared old 'war stories' and exchanged insults as if it were the best game in the world. We sort of bonded over the scare cigarettes I managed to score from guards or inmates and he watched my back out in the yard.
When I was released on good behavior, I promised to look him up when he got out. Wished him luck with making amends with his brother.
"You're a good man, Merle Dixon. Under all that hate and drug induced rage. Don't let no one say otherwise," I said to him as the guard led me out of the cell, into the hot sunlight.
"You sure you were talkin' to my brother?" Daryl snorted. "Ain't nothin' good about him"
"Merle treated me right. Pig 'o a man, but he had a good heart. Or least he tried to," I shrugged.
"You real sure we're talkin' of the same guy?" Daryl asked, his voice hitching.
"Mhm. Mouth of a sailor and sure as fuck smelled like 'un too. But boy, that man had a way of settin' ya in stitches with his nonsense," I chided. I glanced up when I heard the familiar whine of my daughter's high pitched voice.
"But it's too cold to go outside, Scottie!"
"Mackenzie Beth, you come here right on now," I ushered. She ran towards me, throwing herself down into my lap. I laughed softly and pulled her close, wrapping my tattered jacket around her. My arm was in a makeshift sling, so that little movement hurt something fierce.
"Beth wants you to try and get Judy to sleep," she said, looking up at me with those to die for eyes. I smiled and looked over at the young blonde who was carrying a bundle in her arms.
"Hop off my lap, lil' un," I said gently. Mackenzie moved so she was sitting wedged between Daryl and I.
"I tried everything. So did my dad, Carol and Maggie. No one can get 'er to sleep," Beth said with pleading eyes.
"Hand 'er over," I laughed. "Scottie, go get the bottle of Whiskey outta my bag."
"Why?" he asked. We rarely touched the Whiskey. We were saving it for near-death stuff only. It was good when you had a bullet in your leg and even better when you were dying.
"'Cause little baby Jude here is teethin' and I know an old trick to end her suffering," I smiled down at the infant. She fussed in my arms, her wails louder than anything I'd heard in a long time.
"Shh, little one, it's gon' be okay," I said softly.
Scottie returned a few minutes later carrying the bottle in his hands carefully, almost as if he was afraid to drop it. I took it from him with my good hand, the small child resting against my stomach as I opened it and took a swing.
"God, that just warms ya right up," I sighed, my eyes closing as the burning liquid slid down my throat. I poured a little on my hand before sticking my finger in Judy's mouth, mid scream. As soon as the liquor hit her gums she settled right now.
"See? All better, huh Judith?" I asked, smiling as the baby took my pinky finger in her tiny hands.
"Where'd you learn that?" Beth asked, a smile playing on her lips.
"Mackenzie was a fussy baby when she was about Jude's age. Even with mobiles and dolls and teddy bears, she fussed all the time. My grandfather taught the trick to all us kids with our fussy babies," I explained. "Works every time."
Judy snuggled into my chest, her eyes half closed as she suckled on my finger.
"You're a natural," Beth beamed.
"So are you," I looked up at her. "And you don't even have kids."
She smiled at me, her smile so sincere it broke my heart.
"What the fuck?" Rick's harsh voice broke through our moment. I looked in the direction of his voice to find a very angry father running towards me. "Hands off my daughter!"
"Rick," Daryl warned. But it was too late. Judy started wailing all over again.
"Now look what you've done," I scolded him, bouncing the baby in my lap gently. "Hush lil' 'un, no need to cry now."
Rick snatched her off my lap with so much force, for a moment, I wasn't sure if he knew what he was doing.
"Rick!" Scottie objected. He had seen the flash in his eyes too then.
"Rick, calm down," I warned, my voice soft, as if I were talking to a wounded animal.
"Never, and I mean never, come near my family," Rick growled, storming off, the wailing infant tightly gripped in his arms.
"Sorry," Beth said, her eyes sad.
"Don't be, honey, Rick's a troubled man, he'll come 'round," I assured her.
"Don't be so sure," Scottie scoffed.
"Who let you out, anyway?" I asked.
"I did," I was surprised to see Carl appear out of nowhere. "I don't think it's fair that we've been treating your lot like animals, when the Woodbury survivors get to wander as they please."
"Thanks Carl," I said sincerely. "You're a good kid."
He didn't say anything, just nodded once.
"So, how long you reckon we'll be staying?" Scottie asked me, clearly forgetting that Daryl was sitting right next to me. I stole a glance at him, surprised to see my daughter half asleep against his side. He was staring ahead, either day dreaming or lost in his own head.
"I dunno," I admitted. "Why?"
"Me, Victor, and Grace want to move on, sooner rather than later," he informed me.
"You know you have always been free to leave," I said gently. "I won't stop you, though it'd be a shame to lose you all."
"Just don't feel safe here is all. Aren't you still set on finding your brother?" he asked me.
"Not really," I admitted with a sad tone. "There's something about this place, it feels like home, almost."
"That's 'cause you've been arrested before, idiot," he spat. "You gon' come? We're leaving tonight if we can."
"Naw, I'm gon' stay here a while," I shrugged. "Ang leaving too?"
"No, I ain't," a new voice chimed in. I looked behind me to see Angel coming up, Bes limping tiredly at her side. "I like it here too."
"Really?" I asked skeptically. Angel was very close to her sister. It shocked me that she would choose me over her.
"We need to talk," she said, motioning for me to follow. I groaned softly and heaved myself off the cold ground. As soon as I was away from Mackenzie and Daryl, the cold chill hit me. Daryl looked up as I passed, but didn't make a move. Mackenzie subconsciously scooted closer to him. It was actually pretty adorable, if you wanna know the truth. Here, this hard ass redneck, sitting in the autumn chill with a little six year old snuggled up in his lap.
I followed Angel over to the far side of the yard, my daughter still in my sights.
"Grace's been bit," she sighed, her eyes darkening as she spoke the words.
"When?" I asked urgently.
"Two days back, when Rick sent us out to clear the dead away from the fence. She was bit and the fever's setting in, that's why Scottie wants to leave," she explained. She looked up at the sky, her eyes filling with tears she refused to shed. "She doesn't want to turn, but she doesn't want to die either."
"So you're gonna let her go?" I asked carefully.
"She'll be dead by sunrise anyway," she nodded. "Scottie wants to leave as soon as you give him permission to."
"Scottie's the leader, he don't need my permission to do anything," I argued.
"Kate, open your eyes. You're our leader. Always have been. Tell him he can go," she begged.
"Alright."
I walked back over to Scottie and the rest and gave him one, short nod.
"Be safe, brother," I said gently. He nodded and stood, quickly making for the prison. I was sure it was the last time I saw my best friend.
Angel sat next to me as I pulled Mackenzie into my lap, her head lolling as her position shifted.
"Mommy?" she asked sleepily.
"Hmm?" I was watching the sun begin to set.
"Sing that song," she asked.
"I don't sing," I said softly.
"Yeah you do. You did 'fore the outbreak."
"That was a long time ago," I whispered.
"Please? Sing my lullaby," she begged. It made my heart break to hear her sound so young. She hadn't begged to hear me sing in ages.
"Alright," I agreed, only because I was growing tired myself. I shifted her so her legs were across Daryl's lap, making it easier for me to hold her. Daryl didn't even flinch.
While I was remembering the lyrics, I found myself wondering why Daryl suddenly seemed so young, so gentle. It was almost as if –
Then I saw him. Standing in the distance, his eyes as bright as they had been years ago. My dead son looked at me, a sad smile playing on his lips.
"Mom, you aren't gonna die today," he assured me.
His words made no sense. Of course I wasn't going to die today. But he was dead. Why was I seeing him.
Behind him stood a woman I could only place because she looked like her son. It was Carl's dead mother. She looked at me with warm brown eyes.
"Katie, you've got to wake up. You've got to."
Angel
"Katie, you've got to wake up. You've got to," I begged for the millionth time as her body jerked slightly. She was growing weaker. I could tell.
She'd been out for a whole week. Her fever broke only an hour before her heart started skipping beats according to Hershel. Scottie had left along with Victor and Grace the day before, for whatever reason. I guess I'd never really know. I had a hunch though.
Unlike them, I was loyal. Katie was as good as a sister to me. I knew why Grace left – she'd been bitten. She made one stupid mistake and went and got herself bit. Rick said we had to leave or he'd kill her. It was only because Daryl argued our case that Rick allowed me to stay with Katie.
"She's been mumbling for a while now," Hershel assured me. "She'll come to."
"We thought that last time," I sighed, looking at the puppy that was lying beside me. The last coherent thing Katie said was 'Yeah, I knew Merle real good.' Then she done went and slipped away from us again.
"You know, she's tougher than she looks," Hershel said gently. "I can feel it in my bones."
"Yeah well, she's gonna be pissed when she finds out what happened," I sighed.
"I'm sorry about your sister," he said sadly.
"Yeah well, she had it comin'. It's 'cause of her Katie might die," I growled. I would have killed Grace, had Scottie not begged me not to. And Grace was my own flesh and blood.
I grew overly aware of someone standing behind me. I turned and saw Daryl leaning against the cell doorway.
"What?" I asked. He said nothing, just stared at Katie, who was beginning to stir a little more.
"Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind," Katie mumbled.
"Her daughter's lullaby," I smiled in spite of myself. "She used to sing it when Kenzie was still young."
The puppy, who we deemed Scout, since he had a nose for Walkers, perked up, his eyes locked on Katie.
A moment later, I saw the most beautiful thing I'd seen in just about my entire life. Katie's eyes opened, and for a single moment, I saw nothing but love, laughter and hope shining deeply in her sea green eyes.
"Yeah," she whispered, her eyes training on Daryl. "I knew Merle real good."
A/n - This was the chapter that sparked the story in the first place. Originally, this was going to be a one-shot, a simple "she was bit, this is what went through her mind" sort of thing. Instead, I tailored it to fit this story instead.
I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
To clear one thing up - Yes, Katie really believed she was "awake" for the events from her point of view. It won't be until the next chapter that she realizes she was actually in a very dangerous coma like state.
Reviews are always welcomed!