I was lying on the old bedroll on the floor, like I had been for the last week. Scout was lying next to me, his furry head rested on my arm as I stared at the ceiling, aimlessly shooting my little metal balls into the air, watching them as they embedded themselves into the hard concrete. It was almost as if they were disappearing into the prison, just like everyone else.
It had been a week since I watched my brother and niece killed. It had been a week since I'd given anyone the time of day, much less carried a conversation. Except with Scout. I talked to Scout. And Judith. Beth often left the infant with me if she had something she had to tend to.
I was jostled from my thoughts when someone cleared their throat. I rolled over, knocking Scout off the bedroll to find Daryl standing in the doorway, his arms crossed across his chest.
"What?" I grunted. He looked at me, but said nothing for a while. Annoyed, I flopped back onto my back, continuing my mindless task of releasing the pellets into the air.
"Why'd you do it?" he asked me. I ignored his question. Rick had asked me the same thing a million times that week. Each time, I only grunted in response.
"C'mon Kate, just say it," he growled. "Just tell me why."
"I owed you my life. I gave you my kin. We're even," I growled. "I don't owe you anymore."
"You really think that?" he spat with disgust. "You really think you owed me anything? Ain't owed me a damn thing, you stupid bitch."
"Whatever," I grunted, turning my back to him. I felt tears well in my eyes. I brushed them away quickly. But Daryl was observant.
I was overly aware of him crossing the small distance. When Scout got up from the floor, I knew Daryl was leaning over me. I felt his hand on my shoulder as he pushed me onto my back so I was looking him in the eyes. His clear, bright blue eyes glowed in the dim light casted off by my lantern.
"Thank you," he whispered. I could see the sincerity in his eyes. His forehead was slick with sweat. I reached up carefully, the back of my hand gingerly touching his face.
"You're still burning up," I groaned. Hershel was at a loss as to what was causing Daryl's fever.
"Always am," he muttered. He sat down next to me, resting his head in his hands. "Heard what you said to Angel after that," he said softly. His tone was too gentle. Like he was talking to a baby, instead of a grown ass woman.
"Oh," I muttered. "So?"
"So," he grunted. We lapsed into an awkward silence. I was about to say something when I heard the familiar giggle of my favorite baby. I stood up, a smile creeping on my lips as I walked into the main room, where Beth was standing with Judith in her arms. The baby looked up at her for a moment, before bursting into tears.
"Lemme see her," I said as I crossed the room, raising my hands to take Judith.
"She's been so fussy today," Beth said with a sigh. "I can't get her to settle down." She handed the baby to me and watched as I hitched her onto my hip, gently rubbing circles into her back.
"Hey there, precious little girl, no need to cry now," I cooed as I bounced her up and down. She stopped crying and looked at me with tear filled eyes. "Someone's teethin', huh?"
As if you prove it to me, she opened her mouth and sure enough, her two front teeth were coming in.
I carried the baby back and forth as I paced the room, letting the little child keep me from losing my composure. She stopped fussing long enough for me to lift her up so she was rested against my chest, her little head snuggled into my neck. I continued to pace, Scout at my side as he always was these days.
"I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moment's gone. All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity. Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind. Same old song, just a drop of water in the endless sea. All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see… Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind. Don't hand on, nothing last forever but the earth and sky. It slips away, all your money won't another minute buy. Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind," I sang softly, rocking her in my arms. She cooed softly, her little hands gripping at my face. I took her hand in my free hand and kissed her tiny fingers.
"You haven't sang your daughter's lullaby in ages," Angel observed as she came out of her cell. Since the incident, she had moved into her own cell, offering me the privacy I so desperately craved.
"I know," I whispered, looking at the child in my arms.
"You know, you made the right decision, right?" she said softly.
"About what?"
"About coming here. About taking our chances. About not going off to find the guys or look for your brother. All those choices, were the right ones," she said gently. "We belong here."
"I know," I said with a sad smile. "But it doesn't change the fact that what I did goes against everything I was ever taught. Family is everything, now more than ever."
"A stupid ol' druggie told you that, didn't he?" she smiled. I couldn't help but laugh.
"Merle was anything but stupid, sadly," I laughed. "I almost hate to admit it, but I could use some less than friendly abuse right about now."
"Not in front of the baby!" Beth chuckled.
"Not that," I laughed, feeling my face grow warm. "I mean, when we were locked up all those years ago, we'd be at each other's throats like cats and dogs. I almost miss it."
"You're so strange," Angel laughed, taking Judith from me. "Have you…ya know, done anything productive lately?"
"I taught the pup to roll over," I laughed whole heartedly for the first time in a long time. "Other than that, I cut my finger nails and finally cut my hair."
"Obviously, such important tasks!" Angel laughed.
"I'm going to go out and try to find some food. Wanna come?" I offered.
"Naw, take Dixon with you. I'm sure you two can find something to argue about," she laughed. "'Sides, Hershel's convinced Daryl's just got a permanent fever."
"Ehh, last time we were out there, he almost died on me," I sighed, my mood changing as soon as the words left my mouth.
"He's not a child, ya know," Beth said softly. "He won't break the second he steps outside."
"Yeah, yeah," I muttered with mild annoyance. I wasn't about to risk Daryl's health, or my own, by bringing him along. Instead. I grabbed my bag, my small bow, and headed towards the door.
"Wait," Rick's rough voice demanded. I stopped and turned to him, glaring him down. "Take Daryl with you."
"God damnit, no!" I growled.
"Why not?" he asked.
"I ain't looking to be liable for anyone else," I muttered as I pushed past him. I felt him follow me, but it didn't stop me from picking up my pace, making a beeline for the coral the horses were kept in. I mounted Arrow, bareback, with Scout following at my side. Without another word to Rick, I waited as Glenn opened the gate for me. Glenn was real good about stuff like that. He wouldn't let anyone talk me down, especially when it was for the good of the group.
I kicked Arrow into a gallop, using my machete to cut down the Walkers that got too close. We made it into the trees with no problems. I pulled the horse back, letting him go at a slow trot, my eyes scanning the bare trees for any sign of life.
Sure enough, after an hour of searching, we stumbled upon a small herd of deer. I pulled the horse up and signaled for Scout to remain silent. He sat patiently, waiting for the next command. I stood on the horse's back, my feet carefully placed just right. I quietly lifted myself into the tree above us until I had a clear view of the deer. I took my bow off my back and loaded an arrow carefully, my heart racing in my chest. I was far from 100%, but I was better than I had been in a long time. Bracing my back against the trunk of the tree, I took aim.
My arrow whizzed through the air, striking a large buck in the side. He let out a startled cry and tried to take off, scaring the other deer in the process. But I had been smarter than that. I looked to the left and saw the large snare Daryl had set up months ago.
"Scout, herd," I commanded softly. He took off like a bullet, running circles around the injured buck, until I heard the satisfied snap of the snare. A moment later, I was slamming my arrow into the buck's skull, amazed by the easy kill. I cut it from the snare before glancing at the horse, who was standing patiently. It was then that I realized having a second set of hands would have been helpful. I had no idea how I was going to get the deer back to the prison in one piece.
"Scout, go get Rick," I commanded. The dog cocked his head as if he didn't quite understand my request. "Go on, get Rick," I tried again. Again, he looked at me with a curious expression. "Go get Daryl?" I tried. Sure enough the dog took off, his feet kicking up the dead leaves on the ground.
I tried my best not to panic. There was no way I was leaving a kill this size in the woods unattended, but in the same breath, I was losing sun and fast. I tried to come up with a plan, but I was out of ideas. So I ended up sitting on the ground, my hands aimlessly twisting the arrow in my fingertips.
An hour later, I heard the familiar bark of my dog. I let out a single, low note, and waited. A moment later, he came running out of a bush, Daryl and Rick both close behind him.
"You kill that?" Daryl asked breathlessly. Apparently the dog had made them think something bad had happened.
"Uh-huh," I shrugged.
"How did you plan to get it back?" Rick asked, smiling smugly.
"I didn't," I chuckled. "That's why I sent Scout to find you."
"We could try to get it tied to the horse…" Daryl said doubtfully.
"The horse can't carry that much weight," I countered. "If he was well fed maybe, but not on the feed he's currently on. He can probably drag it back though."
"Then why'd you need us?" Rick asked curiously.
"Someone needs to cover us," I shrugged. "Otherwise the Walkers are gon' be on us like flies on shit."
"She's right," Daryl nodded. He looked tired. He was pale and his face glistened with sweat.
"Hog tie the buck, I'll go ahead a ways and see if we can get back the way I came," I said quickly. The sooner we were back, the better. I was terrified that Daryl would drop at any second.
"Hog tie? Why hog tie?" Rick asked.
"The more skin we can keep on it, the better. Winter's coming fast, Rick. We're gon' need all the blankets we can get," I laughed.
"You can do that?"
"Daddy used to be a hunter. My granddad used to skin the deer every winter. Made a lot of rugs and blankets out of the skin. Moccasins and gloves too. I ain't know all the tricks, but I know enough to get this fella skinned and tanned," I shrugged.
"Always full of surprises, that 'un," I heard him say to Daryl as I took off, my feet barely making a sound as I ran through the bushes.