CHAPTER 9

"Wow, what was that about?" Tony asked, even though he finally understood. Trouble was, he couldn't wrap his mind around it – Gibbs was jealous of Palmer? Talk about unexpected.

Jimmy dumped the towels in the hamper and slammed the lid. "That man needs someone to knock some sense into him."

"Whoa, hang on there, Black Lung. You really don't want to take on Leroy Jethro Gibbs." Tony laughed and shook his head. "C'mon, he's all bark and no bite. At least that's what Ducky says." At Jimmy's incredulous look, Tony gave in and admitted, "Okay, he bites, but they're those little warning bites, like a terrier that growls and snaps. His teeth barely break the surface." From somewhere downstairs came the sound of a door slamming. Great, now Gibbs was seriously pissed.

"Maybe not, but that man has no right to treat you like he has been. And I'll tell you this: he does not appreciate you, Tony."

"Oh, that's just Gibbs," Tony said, trying to defuse his friend's anger. "C'mon, give me a shoulder to lean on," he urged, and together they made their way slowly to the bed.

Tony had always thought that his boss did appreciate him; he just didn't know how to show it. Tony sat on the bed a bit too quickly and winced at the pain in his side. Jimmy immediately helped Tony put on a shirt and got the sling back in place. Tony lay back and found a comfortable position and then Jimmy covered him with a blanket and started puffing up his pillows. In the end Tony had to put a halt to his friend's fussing. "It's okay, Jimmy. It's okay."

"But he's always coming down on you, Tony. I don't get it. I thought he…" Jimmy sighed in frustration.

Tony raised his eyebrows, indicating he wanted to hear the rest of whatever Jimmy had to say.

Jimmy carefully chose his words. "Gibbs has always been…benevolent towards you, Tony." As soon as Tony started to protest, Jimmy hastened to add, "In a tough love sort of way, you know? Like I said, it's obvious he cares about you, and I don't mean just because you're one of his team, but now…now he's annoyed at you all the time, and for no reason at all."

"Maybe he has a good reason that we don't know about," Tony said. Jimmy was looking at him closely, waiting for him to continue, so Tony said, "I don't think he's really mad at me. Gibbs was close to Director Shepard at one time – really close. They worked undercover together in Europe and she still had a thing for him. It's only been a short while since she died and…maybe this is the Gibbs version of grief. You've gotta give him some slack Jimmy." After all, look at the effect his first wife and child's murders had had on him, Tony thought. He had never got over their deaths. "If he wants to take it out on me, I can handle it."

"What d'you mean handle it? Why should you?"

"Because I'm partially to blame for her getting killed!" Tony ran a hand through his hair and took a calming breath. "And there've been some other things going on with Gibbs, work-related. Just…just don't be quick to judge him for being a bit cranky, okay?"

"You call that cranky? I call it a match held far too close to a fuse." Tony looked at him expectantly and eventually Jimmy said, with obvious reluctance, "Okay, but you should have seen the way he acted when he came to my apartment this morning to pick up your clothes and toiletries. That was way beyond cranky."

Tony snorted. "Probably didn't like seeing my messy bed. He's a 'bounce a quarter on the mattress' kind of guy."

Jimmy waved away that notion. "No, I'd already put away the bed and tidied up."

"Wait a minute. You mean you put my clothes and stuff away, too?" Tony had made a point of keeping his clothes and personal items out of sight so he didn't make too much of an impact on Jimmy's home, but the day he was injured he had forgotten to turn the bed back into a couch.

Jimmy looked sideways at Tony. "Well, yeah. I was just neatening up my living room, Tony. Don't worry, I hung up your suit on a good hangar."

"Thanks," Tony said absently. So Jimmy had put the room to rights and Gibbs had walked in and…"Wait a minute. So what he saw was your living room with the couch and coffee table in place? And only one bedroom, with only one bed? With my clothes neatly hanging right next to yours in the closet, right?"

"Well yeah." The penny dropped and Jimmy paled. "Shoot. He thinks…he thinks we're…like together?"

Tony couldn't help laughing at Gibbs getting the wrong idea about his relationship with Jimmy Palmer. When he'd caught his breath he pointed out, "Well, he knew from the start that I was staying with you. Remember all the noise he made about the key?"

"Which he never asked me for," Jimmy pointed out.

"Still, no reason for him to get all bent out of shape. It's not like we're team members or anything. No rule against us fraternizing," Tony teased. "After all, it's not like Gibbs is going to gossip about us over the water cooler."

Jimmy looked worried. "Maybe not, but he didn't like me before, so how's he going to treat me now?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'll set Gibbs straight," Tony assured his friend. "On the other hand, you might want to make sure your rabies shots are up to date."

Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Gee thanks, Tony. This doesn't change the fact that that man cares about you and I think ever since you came back he's had a hard time facing that."

"Facing what? C'mon!"

"You don't believe me? I think you're scared to admit that you like him as much as he likes you. The two of you have been skirting around each other for years and it's just getting more intense all the time. It had to come to a head some day and, mark my words, that day is now," Jimmy said with conviction. "Look, Tony, I have to get going to work. Do you want me to get you something to eat before I go?"

"You don't have to. I can rustle up something later on," Tony said, stretching out on the bed, his mind of Gibbs.

Jimmy replied, "I'm going to bring you breakfast. If you bust those stitches, you'll have Dr. Mallard on your case. Agent Gibbs, too."

Once Jimmy left, Tony closed his eyes and sighed. He was tired from showering, and the area around his wound was sore, but it felt great to be clean. Between the repercussions from the blood loss and getting hit on the head Tony was feeling a bit weak and was concerned that he wasn't going to get back in the field anytime soon. Maybe he'd be able to stay here, at Gibbs', the whole time he was recuperating. He smiled because Gibbs was letting him sleep in the master bedroom and that meant that he thought that Tony was special. Sometimes Gibbs could surprise him by doing something really nice, like the way he'd been taking care of him because he'd been injured. Maybe Gibbs wasn't holding Jenny's death against him after all.

Still, it didn't mean that he wasn't annoyed at the man for being such a bastard at work. It was high time they had a talk because Tony needed to find out what had made Gibbs so mad at him since he'd come back. If this was due to Gibbs not wanting Tony back on his team, then Tony wanted to know, sooner rather than later.

Yet ever since he'd been injured, Gibbs had been nothing but nice to him. And this wasn't the usual "Here's a cup of coffee, DiNozzo, got that hazelnut crap in it," kind of nice. This was a lot more…Tony grasped for the right word…tender, maybe. Wow, Leroy Jethro Gibbs – tender? Gibbs had certainly been showing signs that he cared about him by the way he'd been treating him since he'd been injured.

Of course Tony had always known that Gibbs liked him, and Gibbs had thought enough of him to keep him on his team, but now their relationship appeared to have moved to a whole new level. And what's more, Gibbs seemed to be jealous, which indicated he was being territorial, possessive even. This might even be another indicator that he did, indeed, care for Tony. The whole thing was really hard for Tony to wrap his mind around.

Only a couple of minutes had passed since Jimmy had gone down to the kitchen. There was the faint sound of dishes clattering, water running, and then voices. Tony had assumed that when Gibbs had stormed out, he'd gone to work, so it took him a moment to realize that the voices he was hearing, which were getting louder by the minute, were Jimmy's and Gibbs'. They were quarreling and, from the sound of things, were not about to solve their differences anytime soon. Tony opened his eyes and swore, "Oh shit." He struggled out of bed and made his way along the hallway and down the stairs. He was panting by the time he got to the bottom. Listing a bit to the side, Tony kept a steadying hand on the wall as he headed as fast as he could to the kitchen.

When he got there, Tony stood in the doorway, his mouth hanging open, fascinated in a major vehicle pile-up kind of way. Gibbs was there all right, his face red with anger, and he was standing toe-to-toe with Jimmy Palmer. Jimmy was standing straight as an arrow, not cowed at all. But then, he was as tall as Gibbs, a lot younger, and his muscular body bore testament to the fact that he worked out a lot. Like a lot.

"…and if you don't get your head out of your ass, Gibbs, and tell Tony how much you care about him, then you don't deserve him," Jimmy said loudly. The only thing giving away his trepidation was a slight tremble in his clenched hands.

Gibbs, his chest thrust out, demanded, "And who the hell are you to tell me how I should deal with Tony? This is none of your damned business!"

Not backing off, Jimmy retorted, "I'm Tony's friend, that's who I am. I'm the guy he asked for help when he was left on his own on that ship, Gibbs, and I'm the guy he moved in with when he got back! Where were you in all of this?"

"I was trying to get him off the ship and–"

"Do, don't try!"

"What?"

"You didn't do enough, or fast enough, and now that he's back you're treating him like crap. You know that Tony, of all people, did not deserve to be sent away just so Director Vance could prove to you how powerful he was. You realize that if you hadn't been such a threat to Vance, none of this would have happened?"

"That's not true!" Gibbs shouted. "You don't know crap."

"No? Well I know that Tony's a good man, and for some unknown reason he gives a shit about you! You've done nothing but push him away and this time you've gone too far."

"You don't know–"

Jimmy spoke right over Gibbs, steamrolling him like a pro. "I know that Tony might be upstairs right now, but that's because you strong-armed him into your home. I know that the minute he's able walk out of here, he's coming back home with me, and you know why? Because he knows he'll get treated right by me."

"I treat him fairly," Gibbs insisted.

Jimmy kept on talking as if Gibbs hadn't even spoken. "Tell me, why the heck would he even care about you? You've done nothing but cause him grief, Gibbs."

"Tony is not going anywhere with you, Palmer!" Gibbs said furiously.

"Why not? What have you got to offer him? Tell me that!"

"I don't want him to…I can't…It's none of your damned business," Gibbs ground out.

"You can't what? You can't admit how you feel about him? You can't even think the words, can you, Gibbs? He's never going to stay with you, not now, and you know why? Because I'm going to take him away from you," Jimmy said, his eyes gleaming.

Gibbs exploded, one hand prodding Jimmy in the chest. "The hell you are!"

"Why would he stay here? Say it, say it aloud! Or are you too much of a coward to admit that you might have feelings for another man?" Jimmy goaded.

Gibbs grabbed Jimmy's shirtfront but Jimmy took hold of Gibbs' wrist and it looked like they were about to erupt into a fistfight any second now.

Tony finally woke up and took a couple of steps into the kitchen, calling out sharply, "Enough! Both of you, back off."

Both Gibbs and Palmer looked at him, startled, and then they parted, almost guiltily.

Jimmy was breathing heavily, his eyes wide and his hands shaking. "You shouldn't be down here, Tony."

Tony laughed, "What, when World War 3 is going on right here in Gibbs' kitchen? You think I'd miss it?"

It didn't look like Jimmy saw the humor in the situation. "If you want to leave with me now, we can do that, Tony." Gibbs made a noise of protest but Jimmy continued, "If you want, I can take you to Dr. Mallard's house. I'm sure he'd be happy to have you."

Tony realized that Jimmy was eyeing him in a funny way. It wasn't quite a wink, but one of his eyebrows did this wiggling thing that was definitely a signal, and Tony caught on – Jimmy knew that nobody in their right mind would choose to stay at Ducky's, not with Mrs. Mallard, God bless her, in residence.

With slight whine in his voice, Tony asked, "You think maybe I could go home with you, Jimmy?"

"You are not going anywhere." Gibbs took hold of Tony's good arm and swept him, gently but firmly, out of the kitchen and upstairs. As soon as Tony made a sound of protest, Gibbs slowed down, and although he kept a supportive hand wrapped around Tony's upper arm, he didn't say another word until Tony was back in bed.

"You stay in bed," Gibbs said firmly. He did a quick check under Tony's bandage and shook his head. "Good thing you didn't bust those stitches or Ducky'd have both our heads."

"All right already." Tony pulled up the covers and for the next sixty seconds watched Gibbs pace back and forth. It was interesting to see how exasperated he was but it wasn't getting them anywhere. "I'm not an invalid, you know," Tony said.

"What the hell was Palmer thinking?" Gibbs turned on Tony. "And you? You were told to stay in bed, but did you do what you're told? No! Do you ever?"

"Hey, that's not fair! I follow orders, most of the time. When it counts." He was going to leave it at that, but something made him blurt, "I followed the orders Jenny gave me. I left her alone even though I knew she was up to something, and look how that ended up."

Gibbs waved a hand as if to say he didn't want to hear about Jenny. "Damn it, Tony, why couldn't you tell me you were hurt? Why would you hide something so serious?"

"I was just trying to keep my nose clean, Gibbs, so Vance Almighty didn't see fit to ship me out."

"I wouldn't let that happen, Tony!"

"Like you were able to prevent it the first time around?" Tony asked bitterly. "I don't think so. You can't promise that, to keep me safe. I know you think you can, but…look, I'm not in the mood to listen to this bullshit, Gibbs. I'm tired and I need to crash for a while. I'll get out of your hair as soon as I can," Tony said with a finality that couldn't be ignored. He crossed his good arm over his chest and stared out the window, blatantly refusing to look at Gibbs. He could feel Gibbs glaring at him and it took all of his will not to turn around and glare right back.

After a long moment, Gibbs left the bedroom and Tony heard him go downstairs. There were heavy footsteps and a minute later the basement door shut with a bang.

Tony sighed. Damn, that hadn't gone very well.

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He was dozing when Gibbs returned bearing a tray of cereal, coffee and juice. Tony ignored him until he set the tray down and said in a quiet voice, "You're not at fault for following her orders, Tony, and if I ever tell you to do something that feels wrong, you make sure you kick up a fuss. And I will listen. Deal?"

Tony nodded, wondering what had gotten into Gibbs. "Deal."

"Let's sit you up so you can eat," Gibbs said, all business. "Then we talk."

Talk? Gibbs wanted to talk?

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After finishing his cereal, which was a somewhat awkward affair with Gibbs sitting there watching him, Tony handed his boss his empty bowl and said, "I'm done."

Tony wasn't looking forward to baring his soul, and he knew Gibbs well enough to know that talking about himself – his feelings – was difficult, to say the least. Gibbs' features were set in a mask and although he glanced at Tony from time to time, he never actually met his eyes, as if he were preoccupied with something. This made Tony all the more curious about what was going on in his head. If Gibbs was brave enough to open up, then Tony was willing to give the same in return, but someone had to start the ball rolling and this time it was up to Gibbs.

Tony waited expectantly for something, anything, to come forth from Gibbs' lips. He drank the remainder of his orange juice and handed the empty glass to Gibbs. Gibbs placed it on the tray right next to the empty bowl, but still said nothing.

All of a sudden, Gibbs stood and moved away from the chair as if he couldn't stand being seated a moment longer. He paced back and forth a couple of times before returning to his seat. Gibbs ran his hands over his face and opened his mouth to say something, but he hesitated and the opportunity passed.

Watching Gibbs agonizing over what to say was entertaining in its own way, but Tony's patience was wearing thin. He took a breath and asked what he felt was the obvious question, "You mad at me?"

Gibbs raised his eyes and, for the first time since he'd brought Tony back to his room, he looked him straight in the eye. And that's when Tony saw it, deep inside – past the guilt, the worry and the exasperation – an emotion looked an awful lot like affection. Okay, maybe it was more than affection, more like…like what Palmer said. Like…Gibbs cared. Profoundly. It shook Tony to the core because although it was his gut reaction to joke around, this wasn't something he could make light of. He couldn't take the easy way out and pretend that he hadn't seen it, that he didn't know. Jesus, this…this glimpse inside Gibbs that Gibbs had allowed him to see, it was too much, too soon, and this could not be happening.

"I'm not mad at you, Tony."

But it was happening. Gibbs' eyes told the truth. How was it he'd never seen it, Tony wondered? Had it always been present and Gibbs had simply been adept at hiding how he felt? Or maybe this was new for Gibbs and he'd only just realized that there was something going on between them. Was this moment for the big reveal, when Gibbs was going to admit that he cared about Tony beyond being friends and colleagues?

"Hey, take it easy," Gibbs said, as if from afar.

"Is this real?" Tony whispered, clinging to Gibbs' hand.

"You okay? You're looking a bit pale there."

Tony found himself shaking his head without meaning to. No, he wasn't okay. He was freaking out with his heart beating so hard, someone was going to have to call 911. "I don't understand."

Gibbs was frowning in concern. "What don't you understand?"

"I thought I knew you. I thought I knew me," Tony whispered. Tony studied Gibbs, looked really hard at him. It hit him, even as he stared into Gibbs' blue eyes, that Gibbs wasn't the only one who had been hiding his true feelings. Tony wasn't alone in feeling this strongly, this acutely for another man, and instead of allowing his fear to overwhelm him – because this whole thing was Alice-in-Wonderland strange and scary – Tony's growing sense of panic receded and left in its wake a feeling of rightness. That's the only way Tony could think of this, that it was right, even if it wasn't completely rational. Or sane.

"I'm not mad at you," Gibbs said again, his voice low. "Far from it." He shook his head as if trying to clear it. A stream of emotions crossed his face, some subtle and some not quite so subtle.

Tony found that it was like looking in a mirror. He could see the attraction and the lust in Gibbs' eyes, the tenderness and deep affection, and the knowledge that no matter how pissed or angry or frustrated either of them might get when faced with some of the other man's less desirable qualities, they'd always be loyal to each other. And the strange thing was that even though the idea of falling for his boss, for this man, or for any man at all, scared Tony more than he'd like to admit, inside he was okay with it. Something inside of him shifted and settled and he felt almost calm, as if the decision had been taken away from him.

Relieved, Tony let out a laugh and he smiled, letting his true feelings show. Love on your sleeve, his mother used to call it.

Slowly, with only a hint of his own inner turmoil showing, Gibbs returned the smile, his features softening.

Tony couldn't even begin to think of how this might affect their future, how their relationship would change, what it might mean physically – and he knew that without a doubt there would be plenty of the physical side of love involved – but amazingly enough none of that mattered right now. Knowing that he'd end up waiting forever if he expected Gibbs to speak his heart, Tony asked softly, "Why didn't you ever say something?"

"Mind if I sit?" Gibbs asked, indicating the bed.

Tony nodded and Gibbs surprised him by sitting quite close, facing him. Suddenly the enormity of the situation hit him and made Tony looked away. Just for a moment, to regroup, only it was impossible to think with Gibbs sitting so close that Tony could feel the warmth of his leg pressing against his own.

"Hey," Gibbs said, briefly touching Tony's arm to get his attention. "If you don't want to take this step."

It was his choice, that's what Gibbs was saying. If Tony made out that he'd spoken out of turn, or if he said that he'd changed his mind, or if he laughed it off with a, 'Sorry. Misunderstanding. C'mon, Boss, you know me and women,' Gibbs would just walk away. Wow, that was disappointing and it hurt, a lot more than Tony expected it would. He thought, no, he'd believed that Gibbs would fight for him. Except…Gibbs had left him on that ship, long after the others were back on his team. Tony said tightly, "I think it might be better if we don't."

Gibbs surprised him by slowly shaking his head. "No. No, it would not be better, Tony. It might be easier, but when did either of us take the easy way out? This isn't going to go away. Not for me it isn't." He took Tony's hand in his and held it in his warm, firm grip.

"This? What is this, exactly?" Tony thought of Jimmy challenging Gibbs earlier in the kitchen. 'Say it, say it aloud! Or are you too much of a coward to admit you might have feelings for another man?'

Gibbs licked his lips and swallowed hard. "My team got ripped apart and I had no damned say in the matter. Vance separated my people without a single thought for what we'd built together, how well we worked as a unit. And Jenny, getting herself killed with Mike Franks only a few feet away. How the hell did that happen? Langer – I was so sure about him but he turned on us, sold out. I was all tied up, angry that I'd lost my ability to see, and it made this knot in my gut that just wouldn't go away. I couldn't see past it, Tony."

"You were frustrated, angry, not knowing which end was up?" Tony gave a small smile of regret. "Oh yeah, been there. It took me a while to crawl out of that particular hole."

"Yeah, something like that." Gibbs said understandingly. "But here's the thing. From the minute you walked up that gangplank and boarded the Reagan, everything felt wrong. I kept thinking of you, how I could get you back until thought I was going to go crazy. I had no idea why it was eating at me until I saw you in Cartagena." Gibbs gave a short laugh. "And then you smiled, just lit right up, and it was directed at me. It hit me at that moment and I knew. It was like it had always been there but I'd never seen it…"

Tony could see how hard Gibbs was trying so he helped him out a little. "The light bulb finally went on?" Jimmy had said that Tony was in denial but it looked like Gibbs had also been unable to acknowledge his feelings. No big surprise there. Tony asked, because he had to, "But it isn't hiding any more? I mean…you're sure?"

Gibbs grinned in a way that took Tony's breath away. "Yeah, I'm sure. Sort of sideswiped me though." He cleared his throat and asked, "And uh…you?"

"Right out of the blue. But you wouldn't have said anything if Jimmy hadn't spoken up," Tony pointed out. He didn't mention that it was Jimmy who had alerted him to the possibility that Gibbs was interested in him. Maybe later he'd tell him.

"Before he ripped me a new one? No. I had no idea," Gibbs admitted. He dropped his gaze to their hands and said, regretfully, "That's not entirely true. I knew but I couldn't believe it. Or face it. Palmer was right; I'm a coward."

"You are not a coward," Tony insisted, hating that Jimmy had accused Gibbs of being one and hating even more that Gibbs would think that of himself. Gibbs looked troubled, and Tony entwined their fingers, for the first time responding with a squeeze of his own. "You're not," he said adamantly.

"I was sure that if I said anything to you, that you'd deck me," Gibbs said with a rueful laugh. "Maybe, if you hadn't been forced off my team, we would have gone as we were, never saying anything, never admitting it. I wanted you back but once you got back to DC and we were working together again, I kept second-guessing myself. Vance was pushing me and I took it out on you, and that was wrong."

Gibbs admitting he was wrong, that was new. Tony said, choosing his words carefully, "I didn't deserve to be your punching bag." He saw the apology in Gibbs' eyes and said, "Besides, if being sent away was what it took to wake us both up, then I guess I can't be mad at Vance for handing out the punishment."

"He was punishing me, Tony, never you," said Gibbs sharply.

Tony looked at Gibbs skeptically. "I think a good amount of that punishment was directed at me, so let's agree we were both targets. The thing is, I was willing to take my licks, Gibbs, because the bottom line is that I was responsible for Jenny's safety. We both know that. It doesn't matter what she was up to, I failed at my job. But sticking me on that ship at a moment's notice, away from you and everyone I knew? That was about the worst kind of hell, I have to tell you."

Gibbs was gripping his hand. "It won't happen again," he promised.

"I was starting to wonder if you'd prefer it if I went and finished the rest of my two years afloat."

"Damn, no, I didn't want that, Tony. I was just…"

"Being a bastard," prompted Tony.

"I was trying to keep a distance," Gibbs said, as if the words were distasteful. "I cut off everyone so I could deal with Jenny and Langer."

"And Kiley, and the shit he pulled on you. And I heard about Langer."

Gibbs frowned at him, and then he shook his head as if trying to rid himself of a bad memory. "That was bad. I didn't trust my gut with Pat Kiley and now I wonder what I missed with Brent Langer. Look, none of this is any excuse for me to be a prick, Tony."

"No, it isn't, but I can handle it," Tony said, able to make light of it now that he knew Jethro wanted him, and what had been driving him to act in that way.

"You shouldn't have to handle what I was dishing out, DiNozzo. Look, I've been trying to figure this out but…" Gibbs inhaled, frustrated. "Why's this so damned hard?"

Tony joked, "It's a guy thing. Okay, maybe it's hard to actually say the words because it's so important. And it is important. You're important, Gibbs. You always have been, and now this is important, whatever it is that we plan on doing here." He loved the way Gibbs looked like he couldn't quite believe what was going on between them but was loving it just the same. This was the tough guy showing his soft edge, something Tony knew was reserved only for him. He decided to press his luck and said, "Still, you didn't have to be such a bear, like about the key."

"Hey, you were living with Palmer."

"So?"

"So you didn't come to me," Gibbs countered, annoyed. "You know I have plenty of room here."

"He offered me somewhere to stay before I ever got back to the U.S."

"He has only one bed. And your clothes were in his closet," Gibbs accused.

Tony chuckled and rubbed his thumb over the back of Gibbs' hand. "Yes, Jimmy only has the one bed but both me and my back can attest to the fact that he offered me his pull-out couch. Besides, he and I have been friends since you went off to Mexico." Tony's smile broadened when Gibbs looked skeptical. "I have never thought of him like that. In fact, I've never thought of any guy like that."

That seemed to please Gibbs. "Never?"

"Never. Pinky swear, as Abby would say. You know, when I think about it, it's weird because I might not have been looking, but it doesn't really throw me that it's a possibility." Tony looked at Gibbs with a speculative gaze. "And what about you?"

"What about me?"

"This is confession time," Tony pointed out. "Tony: zero, Jethro: how many men?" Tony was pretty sure there had been none but he mentally crossed his fingers anyway. He didn't want to share Gibbs with anyone, not even with the past.

It was Gibbs' turn to smile. "Do you want to hear me say 'none' because you'll be the first? Or 'a dozen' so at least one of us will know what to do?"

From the heart, Tony replied, "I don't care either way, so long as I'm the last."

The look on Gibbs' face was priceless, flush with pride and love mixed together, and when he slowly leaned in and kissed Tony for the first time, his mouth soft and loving, it made Tony realize that this was what he'd always wanted, this connection, this feeling that he was beloved. He made a gentle sound of pleasure and Jethro slanted his head, hands cradling Tony's cheeks, kissing him deeply, possessively. By the time he pulled back, Tony was tingling all over and breathing hard. Hell, they were both panting pretty heavily.

Tony laughed, a bit nervous. "Wow, can I get some more of that?"

"Yup."

Gibbs was looking at him in a way Tony had never seen before, sort of knowing and self-satisfied, and he thought, 'This is it.' Gibbs captured Tony's lips once again, and kissed him as if he couldn't get enough of him, and Tony, shivering with arousal, and thinking he'd died and gone to heaven, realized that what Gibbs was saying with every touch, every caress and sigh was I love you.

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