"Loki... brother, can you hear me?"
Loki blinks up through the pain. His head is pounding and he really doesn't want to move his limbs because he can already feel the pieces of his bones rubbing at each other. There is also white hot, wet throb at his lower back. A knife wound, he would guess.
"Hmm," he grunts.
They are still in the alley, but it seems to be empty save for the motionless forms of Loki's assailants.
A twinge of hope blooms in Loki's chest.
"Did anyone see?" he gasps.
"See what?" Thor frowns, hands hovering over Loki's shoulders as his eyes flick rapidly all over Loki's body, cataloguing the injuries.
"Me. Here."
"No... I came out here for a moment and heard noise."
Loki was probably only out of it for a moment then. "Take me away now."
"Yes, you need a healer," Thor nods and slides one arm under Loki's knees.
"No healers," Loki says curtly, drawing short breaths between words. His ribs are in pieces. "Our rooms. Put a hood on."
Thor stares him down for a while and Loki returns the gaze with as much of an firm expression as he can manage in his state. Then Thor sighs and picks Loki up with arms underneath his knees and shoulders. Loki's vision whites out for a moment and he bites through his lip to stop from crying out. Thor gives him a worried look, but doesn't say anything and walks up to the main street, heading for the palace.
It's no good. They are attracting too much attention already and Loki will not have it.
"Stop," he hisses. "We will fly."
"How?! I cannot take you like this."
"Yes, you can. Put me over your shoulder."
"It will hurt too much!" Thor protests and he cannot seem to keep his voice down anymore. He looks a bit worn. "Loki, what are you doing? Why this secrecy?"
"I will tell you the very second you take me inside and bring me a damned healing stone! Now do as I say!" Loki's heated reply leaves him breathless and dizzy. Almost no air gets into his lungs and his banged up head isn't helping either.
With his jaw clenching, Thor backs into a smaller street and kneels, bringing Loki upwards with one hand and supporting him with the other until he is hanging upside down over Thor's shoulder. Thor's left arm is firmly wrapped around Loki's thighs and with the right, he unties Mjolnir and spins her.
"Brother, I'm not sure-"
"If you drop me, it still won't be the worst thing you've done to me."
He can't see Thor's face of course, but he is pressed against him and can feel the shock running through Thor's frame. But then Thor throws Mjolnir and they're in the air and Loki only thinks about the pain in his ribs and back and wonders if he will suffocate before they get to the palace. He must black out again because when he is suddenly aware of his surroundings again, there is unmistakable softness of mattress beneath him.
More interestingly, Thor is standing above him with a dagger in hand.
If Loki's head wasn't hurting quite as much, he would cock it to the side. Then Thor takes the blade to the hem of Loki's tunic, pierces it and puts the dagger away, ripping the fabric to reveal Loki's torso. He keeps doing that until all of Loki's clothing is simply bunched under him and out of the way.
Loki watches the ceiling and idly muses.
I didn't know what he was going to do. Maybe I should have been scared.
There is a velvet pouch with delicate embroidery of runes on the hem laying on the night stand and Thor takes it, pulling out a smooth healing stone.
"Start with my back," Loki murmurs and Thor nods, kneeling next to Loki and carefully turning him. Loki grits his teeth as Thor peels the blood soaked fabric from his skin and then he relaxes in (albeit temporary) relief as he hears Thor crush the stone in his palm. In mere moments, the pain is gone and he immediately feels a little stronger as the stone restores some of the blood he lost.
It's much slower work with all the bruised and broken bones.
Loki's right wrist is broken and he shouts when Thor sets it and pants loudly as Thor coats it in salve and wraps it in make-shift bandage torn from a sheet. When he's done, Thor looks in frustration at the inelegant bundle of cloth.
"I wish you would let me fetch a healer."
"No," Loki says simply, absolutely unwilling to argue or explain himself at this point.
He catches Thor looking at him, brow furrowed in consideration.
"As you will."
Thor bends over him then, settling fingers on his toes and feels lightly for fractures. Loki occasionally grunts to mark a particularly tender spot as Thor laves him in the healing salve, working his way over Loki's ankles (one swollen from collision), his purpling and cut up shins and mangled knee. It's only when Thor firmly puts both palms on Loki's thigh, bending his leg a little to assess whether a huge, reddish bruise near Loki's crotch is just that or if it hides a more serious injury, it occurs to Loki that Thor seems oddly unperturbed.
In his ostentatious repentance, he has been avoiding touching Loki as if it would burn him.
But now he says nothing and acts unconcerned.
Loki doesn't mind, he would like all his bones whole as soon as possible, but still. How careless of Thor.
"Enjoying yourself?" he asks, licking his lips when Thor looks up at him.
"Immensely," Thor says bluntly, but his irony is apparent. Still, his hands are sure as he presses them to Loki's abdomen and Loki stops talking again, too busy gasping for breath.
"I should just bath you in the salve," Thor complains, sweeping his fingers on the bottom of the jar and spreading the rest of the unguent on the whole of Loki's stomach, which is one big bruise. "And now I've run out."
"Doesn't matter. It's better if you use a stone on my ribs anyway. The rest is fine."
Thor gives him an appraising look over and winces when his eyes travel up to Loki's bruised cheek.
"I'm sorry, I should have checked your head first."
He wipes carefully every remaining drop of the salve and pats it gently on the heated and swollen areas. He has a perfectly demure look on his face, which Loki can see up close because Thor has leaned far down.
"Alright," Thor assesses. "Now just-"
He slides fingers of both hands into Loki's hair, feeling his skull for bumps, but it feels like he's cradling Loki's head – and he's being all gentle about it too – which Loki finds terribly interesting.
"This is fun," Loki smirks. "I see you are suddenly quite eager to put your hands back on me... I would have expected some restraint."
Thor finally snaps. "You are injured and I will do all I can to patch you up. I will not cause you pain by hesitating."
And it makes sense of course – it would be positively hateful if Thor's hands were shaking and he was asking for permission before every movement, but Loki isn't a fan of sense these days.
"You have it all figured out, don't you," he says coldly, dropping the playful tone. Thor ignores him and starts crushing a healing stone over his chest
"Be quiet or you will swallow the dust."
And Loki has to listen to him because his breath is hitching and he groans as his ribs knit themselves together.
"One more," he gasps and Thor probes him gently before agreeing. And is a pleasure to be able to breathe deeply again. He uses the air to mock Thor some more.
"The mighty Thor, haunted by his actions, but selflessly putting his heart on the line. I might shed a tear."
"What do you want from me, Loki?" Thor sounds resigned, but at least he doesn't run. He sits at Loki's side, looking down at him with a collected expression.
"I want you to drop this pretence. I want you to admit that you are an animal. All this brooding, all this consideration and apologies... I've seen you. I know what you really want. What you really are."
And Thor, damn him to Hel, laughs. A full, deep laughter bursts from him and he pats Loki's leg.
"You've seen nothing," he says when he finally stops. "There are no limits to what I would do with you if you wished it as I do. Only knowing all of it, dear brother, you might call me an animal, because I sincerely doubt that even you can imagine what I've imagined."
And Loki has to swallow a completely unexpected warm feeling that creeps up on him.
"Some water for the patient maybe?" he asks, pointedly overlooking Thor's confession and he thinks he sees Thor blush a little before he turns to go and pour a cup of water, sloshing some wine into it as well before handing it to Loki.
"Now, will you tell me why we did all this?"
"Healers talk. And so do maids and everyone who would be involved if I sought out their help. And I will not have the whole Asgard know that I can't defend myself."
Thor rubs a palm over his face, sitting down again.
"I apologize. It was careless of me to not allow you your defence."
And Loki can basically see him thinking and formulating and it's so maddening. The old Thor would just blurt something out, leaving Loki to twist it to his use.
"You may use your magic if your life or health is in danger, using adequate force and only as little of it as necessary. You will stop once you are safe."
Loki glares at him and Thor smiles sadly.
"I'm sorry, but I realized that some of the things you said... Your position is not entirely... well. I would do you no favours by leaving you to turn even more people against you."
"And for a second there I thought you might stop being such a pain in the ass."
Loki drinks his water while Thor watches him openly. He deposits the goblet back into Thor's hands when he is done, enjoying the sight of Thor waiting on him.
"Do you think you can move?"
"If by move you mean roll off those dirty clothes and sheets onto a cleaner part of bed, then yes."
Thor's lip twitches. "Something like that."
When Loki shuffles away, Thor picks up the torn, bloodied fabric and tosses it away. The sheets are stained as well and Loki watches them with a frown.
"I will clean those. I don't want any questions and I wish to stretch my magic."
He bites his tongue then because that was unnecessarily revealing, but Thor doesn't call him out on it. "Go ahead."
He waves his fingers and the stains disappear, leaving the sheets white and fluffy.
"What about burning my clothes?"
"Of course."
They puff up in a flare of green smoke and Loki smiles before noticing that Thor is watching him with a fond expression.
"Some more tricks you would like your pet to perform?" he asks sweetly and the fondness promptly disappears.
"Why were you in that alley?"
"I was meeting one of my Frost cousins and plotting to overthrow Asgard's rule."
"Were you following me?"
"Of course I was following you, you idiot."
"Why?"
Loki yanks the sheets to his chin pointedly and rolls to face away from Thor.
"I'm going to sleep now."
Loki turns Thor's words in his mind over and over later that night when he wakes because of his aching wrist.
It was a strange interlude they had while Thor healed him. For all his efforts to drive Thor into more guilt and more shame, it was... entertaining to see Thor resemble his old self, with the banter flowing easily between them. And Thor's confession, well, Loki wasn't lying when he said he was tired of Thor's brooding.
He's enjoyed unmaking Thor.
Now he realizes it might be equally interesting to shape him anew.
Because he doesn't want to go down this path anymore. It's a dead end. Something tells him, an instinct perhaps, or reflection of his Mother's words, that if Thor really broke, if Loki pushed him over the edge, he would simply spiral into a dark, static place, instead of becoming a whole new kind of beast, as Loki believed before. He wouldn't fight back. He would do nothing. He would be as good as dead.
He looks at Thor's sleeping form. He's lying closer than he was on any other night. Loki is too tired to really do anything, his body still working on fixing itself and soon he falls asleep again, but before he does, he watches his brother, odd feelings swirling within him.
Thor spends the morning with him, trying and failing to be subtle in his attempts to get Loki to eat rich breakfast, but other than that, they barely talk. Loki feels lousy and while he doesn't want to go back on his own decisions, he's hardly in the mood to play nice, so he just says nothing and goes back to bed as soon as possible.
Thor reluctantly leaves, after Loki snarls at him that all he wants to do is rest, undisturbed, but he promises to check on Loki soon.
Loki immediately drifts off, but his dreams gradually become disturbing and uncomfortably vivid, causing him to wake shaking, covered in sweat. He has no time to regroup before the door is opening quietly and Thor's head appears in the gap. His eyes widen in concern when he sees Loki and he hurries inside, his steps so light as if he thought Loki was still asleep.
"What's the matter?"
"Fever, I believe," Loki murmurs, trying to disentangle himself from the soaking sheets. Thor helps pull them away from him, but then tries to wrestle different ones on Loki again. Loki slaps his hands away.
"Stop."
"You will make yourself worse if you catch a chill."
Thor persistently bundles Loki back and then his hands are on Loki's face, gently checking for temperature.
"This is all nonsense. You know what I am. How can I catch a chill?"
"I've spent a thousand years by your side and if I recall correctly, you could get sick just like everyone else."
Loki stops fighting him and huffs, relaxing into the soft bed.
"Stay here," Thor tells him. "I will fetch a potion."
"If you tell-"
"I won't. I will simply request it without explaining myself."
Thor is already by the door when Loki giggles. "That should work, yes. Typical for you."
Thor surprises him by throwing a crooked grin over his shoulder before slipping out.
Shortly after, Loki decides that he is fit and that he is in terrible need of a bath. He's sticky with sweat and the dirt from the alley makes him itch all over. He's not sure how he managed to sleep at all in this state. He makes it to the bathroom but once he starts filling the tub with hot water and the room mists over with steam, his head swims and he has enough sense left to quickly sit down.
That's how Thor finds him, sitting dazedly with his back propped against the wall, while steam rolls in clouds around them and the water in the tub threatens to spill over.
"Loki," Thor admonishes, closing the facet and chasing out the moisture with a wave of his fingers, bringing fresh, earth-smelling air inside. "What are you doing?"
"I'm filthy," Loki complains. Then a vial is pressed to his lips.
"Drink and then you can clean up."
Loki swallows the herb concoction and sighs. The taste is not unfamiliar, but it's been a while since he had it. Thor pulls him off the floor and manhandles him into the bath, which Loki just let him do, because it's much easier than actually putting any effort into his movements. He doesn't feel dizzy anymore, but lethargy has taken strong hold over him and he is still too warm. Thor lets him soak for a while and then pushes a cloth into his hand, which Loki ineffectually sweeps over whatever skin he can reach.
"Do you want me to help you?" Thor asks and even through the haze, Loki can hear the returning doubt in Thor's voice.
Loki just grunts non-committally and slaps the cloth in Thor's vague direction, splashing him thoroughly. Thor takes it and when Loki actually bothers to open his eyes and look, he is met with an anxious gaze.
Thor wipes his face and neck and then dips his hand underwater to scrub at Loki's armpits, but that's apparently the end of his nerve. Loki is somewhat amused.
"Come on," Thor tugs on his shoulders lightly. "You need to rest."
Finally back in bed, Loki is almost ready to go back to sleep, but Thor is hovering over him and it's too much of a temptation. He yanks his brother down on top of him and Thor barely manages to get his hands under him on either side of Loki and hold himself up.
Loki's world is reduced to warm haze and while he doesn't feel well, he's also floating, careless and fearless.
"I should thank you for the rescue," he purrs and Thor closes his eyes.
"Loki..."
"Mhmm, I mean it," he breathes, but ruins the effect with a giggle he can't quite suppress. He has one arm winded about Thor's neck, straining to get him closer, but Thor's arms are made of steel and he won't budge. Still, he slides the palm of his other hand into Thor's beard, then tucks a stray lock of hair behind his ear before entwining his fingers harshly in it and pulling Thor's head down. His own lips fall open as he tries to reach up and kiss Thor, but his brother turns his head in the last moment and Loki can only mouth teasingly at Thor's jaw and the corner of his lips.
"Please," Thor whispers, voice full of pain. "Please don't."
"You only think the worst of me," Loki scolds mockingly, but lets Thor up a little. "Not a kiss then. Fine. But ask me for something and I will grant it to you."
"I will not play this game, Loki," Thor murmurs. "I cannot. You are ill. You don't know what you are doing."
Loki summons up some energy and squints up at Thor.
"Thor, I am lucid," he says confidently. "Now either say what you want of me or leave me be."
Thor's face twists in a way that Loki thinks he hasn't seen before and it takes his muddled brain a while to realize that there is probably a battle raging in Thor's mind and for the first time, he feels a flicker of doubt whether Thor can actually restrain himself. Loki is lying all but naked underneath him and his suggestions are freely flowing. But then Thor relaxes slightly and actually drops his head on Loki's shoulder.
"Very well. If you truly mean to gift me..."
"Reward," Loki corrects and Thor raises his head with a sad smile.
"Reward, then. I would ask that you let me hold you tonight."
Loki waits a second. "Hold me?"
"Yes."
"I always knew that beneath all that thundering surface you could be a little dull and boring, but this? Where is your inner animal Thor? I thought you wanted to show it to me."
"Don't pretend you don't know what it is I really want of you," Thor frowns and finally breaks free from Loki's hold.
"And what would that be?"
Thor pauses, eyes searching Loki's face. Loki fights to keep his focus on Thor, vision swimming a little.
"Love," Thor replies laconically and turns to undress.
Loki watches him, blinking.
"Perhaps I really am too sick to deal with you."
Thor nods, looking away.
"So just get here and try not to jostle me too much. I need rest."
Thor's fingers flex and he stares down at Loki. "I'm going to regret this," he sighs, but slips under the sheets. Loki turns onto his side and Thor wraps himself around him, pulling Loki's hips into his lap, entwines their ankles and settles his arm around Loki's chest.
Then a whole body shudder goes through him and he exhales into Loki's neck, making an odd, very quiet sound, like a little choke.
And Loki would maybe like to stay awake and think for a while longer, but the fever and the calming effects of the potion finally pull him under and he sleeps. And if Thor's weight anchors him through the night and helps him get rid of the illness, well, nobody needs to know.