A/N And we finish as we started, in Thor's head. This is the last chapter, hope you enjoyed this fic.

Something slowly trickles into Thor's consciousness; a feeling. There is warmth and also-

His eyes snap open and he jerks his head up only to be greeted by a rather shocking sight.

Loki's dark head is slowly bobbing up and down between Thor's legs.

Thor lets his head fall back into the pillow and stares at the ceiling.

There is pleasure coiling at the very center of his being, the warmth that woke him is coming from Loki's mouth which is tightly wrapped around his cock as he gently coaxes Thor from sleep and into full hardness. Loki's hands are lightly curled around Thor's hips, stroking him in sync with the movements of his tongue. He takes his time; the caresses are lazy, languid and Thor shudders when Loki all but burrows his face in between Thor's thighs, nuzzling the root of his cock and then unbearably slowly licks his way to the head and presses an open mouthed kiss to it, the tip of his tongue sneaking out to tease the slit.

Not so long ago, Thor would have said that this is Valhalla to him, but now, even as he lies back and feels the bliss spreading through his veins, feels the pulse of blood filling his cock, feels the tightening that promises a delicious release, there is a weight on his chest and he has to mask a rueful sigh as a moan.

Just another game.

Loki will give this to him and then snatch it away. And yet, the knowledge of this is not enough to make Thor stop him.

You deserve it, a voice whispers in his mind and he squeezes his eyes shut. This and more. Even if he plunged a dagger straight into your heart if would not be penance enough. You are a monster.

The grasp of Loki's hands tightens and he lifts himself up just a little and then lowers his head, taking Thor far into his throat, going further and further until a little choking sound escapes him and he retreats, only to try again.

Thor makes himself watch.

He remembers what it felt like to have Loki's cock deep in his throat as Loki accosted him and threw him on the floor all those weeks ago. How he loved it – the demanding presence, the taste, the warmth. He had wrapped his arms around the beautiful curve of Loki's ass and brought him close, revelling in it and even now he doesn't doubt Loki enjoyed himself, though it was likely nothing but a game to him, a show of power.

But Thor had been more than happy to give it to him, ecstatic with their new found intimacy, violent as it was. And then he... began to hope, fool that he is.

Loki slides his mouth all the way up on Thor's pulsing cock, his neck arching into an elegant curve and he suckles on the head before letting it escape from between his lips with a wet sound. He looks up at Thor, eyes sparkling and his red, shiny lips quirk into a teasing smile before he bends forward again.

He doesn't know if Loki truly thought Thor wished to undo their marriage. If he really was hurt by the idea. It seems equally likely to him that Loki simply took it as an excuse to create a rift between them again – because how could Loki possibly doubt Thor's love?

You know how.

But then he remembers the way Loki fell apart the day before. How all the screamed accusations spoke of one thing – hurt. Betrayal.

You used me, Loki had told him. I thought you loved me and you used me. And Thor wants this. He wants to know that Loki values his love, no matter what else he does or feels.

Loki wraps his fist tightly around Thor's cock and strokes it in time with his sucking, twisting his wrist to perfectly expose the head and attack it with licks and even a hint of teeth.

"Loki-" Thor warns, tumbling towards the edge all of a sudden. Loki pulls off, speeding up the movements of his hand and the last thing Thor sees before the orgasm overtakes him and he closes his eyes is Loki staring down hungrily.

His belly and chest are splattered with come and he shudders, taking Loki by the wrist and draws him away when the touch becomes too much.

Loki lies on his side, head propped up, and watches as Thor struggles to calm his breathing, spread out on his back. A smirk that threatens to turn into a genuine smile plays on Loki's lips and he reaches out, dragging the tip of his index finger through the drying mess on Thor's skin.

"Tsk. Such waste."

"I don't see how that's my fault," Thor says with his eyes closed, relaxed enough to slip into banter, even as he waits for Loki's next step.

"Oh please. I wouldn't want you to rupture something if I gave you the... full treatment, shall we say."

That makes Thor laugh – because he will take his blessings as they come and good-natured teasing, something so reminiscent of the brother he thought he lost, is certainly one of them – and he turns to reply something, but his tongue stumbles on the words as he is suddenly faced with a light smile on Loki's face hovering just a couple of inches away.

"What are you doing?" he says instead and it comes out a little sharper than he would have liked.

Loki's smile fades, but he looks calm and he gazes at Thor steadily.

"I told you. Will you make me repeat my words? My apologies?"

"No, of course not, I'm sorry," Thor says, remembering himself. This is his burden.

And yet.

He wipes his front with an edge of a sheet and pulls Loki close, seeking his lips in a deep kiss. It's hard to think straight when he tastes the little puffs of breath Loki moans out or when his tongue darts out to meet Thor's. But he has a goal.

He thoroughly maps Loki's jaw and his neck, all the way up to the softness of his earlobe (he does remember the reaction he got when he paid attention to the spot before) and back down to the collarbone, where he sucks a bruise. And from there, the closeness to Loki's nipples is too much to resists and he sucks on the peaks until they're hard and straining in his mouth.

He slides his hand down the length of Loki's torso and caresses the inside of his thighs, then he teases Loki with light, tickling touches over his hipbones.

"Thor," Loki complains and arches his back. Only then does he circle Loki's already more than half-hard cock in his palm and gives it a few tugs, his lips still busy pleasuring every inch of skin he can reach. Loki all but purrs in contentment and Thor hides a smile.

He begins to stroke Loki slowly, trying his hardest to pay attention to even the slightest hints Loki gives him with his little breaths and moans and works steadily to bring him as much pleasure as he can. After a while, when he thinks Loki is properly lost in the feeling, he stops kissing him and simply looks.

He wants – no, he needs to see.

Loki is on his back, one hand curled around Thor's bicep, the other grasping emptily in the sheets. But it's his face that interests Thor the most. He circles the pad of his thumb over the wet head of Loki's cock and Loki's mouth falls open in a slight 'oh.'

"Look at me," Thor demands, tightening his grip.

Loki's eyes blink open and he focuses on Thor slowly. Thor gives him a quick kiss, but withdraws to watch.

He's looking for a drop of honesty. Of true desire. Of, Norns help him, love.

Loki twists and shakes under him, eager and vocal. Beautiful. Thor slowly takes him apart with his hand, always slowing when he feels Loki might find release and then speeding again to keep him on the edge.

When a droplet of sweat rolls down Loki's temple and onto the pillow, Thor shuffles so that he leans over Loki and cups Loki's cheek with his free hand, petting him gently.

"Brother," Thor whispers and Loki whines, closing his eyes.

"Brother, look at me," Thor repeats and Loki's eyes snap open, hazy. But his grip on Thor's arm tightens and he pushes his hips up desperately to meet Thor's fist.

"Thor- ah!"

Thor speeds up until Loki is panting and tensing up and then finally, with a loud cry, arching up and pulsing in Thor's palm, covering his hand and his own belly in seed.

"Fuck," he breathes and Thor feels wide grin splitting his own face. Loki takes no more than five deep breaths and then he is catching Thor by the hair, flipping them over and straddling him.

"Is this what you want?" he hisses, still flushed. "A reassurance? A promise? Then you shall have it, brother."

And he kisses Thor with bruising force, all teeth and demanding tongue, grinding their damp cocks together.

"You are stuck with me," he breathes into Thor's mouth. "As I am stuck with you."

And this is all Thor needs for the moment. This is more than Loki has given him in months.

Something shared. Loki and he, side by side in this mess. As they were thousand times before.

He pulls Loki on top of himself so that they're flush together and lets his hands roam freely over the expanse of Loki's back.

"Please," he murmurs, hardly knowing why.

"I know," Loki croons into Thor's ear and they both still after a while, belatedly relaxing after the exertion. Loki's face is pressed into Thor's neck and he listens to his breathing, feels Loki's heartbeat against his own and yes, he might even be so daring as to call this Valhalla.

But the rising sun keeps nagging at him – he needs to leave, he has duties to attend to, but he only gets up with the deepest regret. Loki doesn't make it any easier for him, spread out naked on the sheets and grazing his fingers tirelessly over Thor's skin.

He dresses under Loki's watchful gaze, but he can't bring himself to meet his eyes.

He's afraid that when he gets back, everything will be different.

He hesitates by the door, finally turning to Loki who arches a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Do you ever tire of this brooding?"

"Do you ever tire of your games?" Thor shoots back, rattled by his own worries.

"Ah, but at least I know how to play new ones, whilst your stormy brow remains ever the same," Loki purrs, folding his arms behind his head.

"Well then, your newest game best be to bring a smile to my face," Thor tells him in his best falsely careless tone and to his relief, Loki laughs. To his own ears, he sounded way too daring.

"Go. I will consider your suggestion as I lie here..." Loki drops his voice lower and trails a hand down his chest. "Naked and bored."

Thor can hear his pulse quickening and he all but runs from the room.

He is useless at all his appointments that day. He cannot even put a name to what is it that he feels – trepidation, hope, fear, excitement, guilt all warring within him until he is nothing but strung up mess.

He doesn't think he deserves Loki's love but he desires it above all else.

He doesn't want to insult his brother by not trusting the genuineness of his apology, but he knows that Loki has fooled him many times before.

He wants to slip back between the sheets and make Loki scream in pleasure until he reminds himself what he has done to him on that very bed.

And these thoughts don't disappear even after he comes back that evening, steeled for the worst and is greeted by a quiet smile and a conversation that doesn't end in shouts. They don't disappear the night that Loki wraps his legs around Thor's neck and shouts as Thor swallows him down.

They don't disappear even as Loki throws his arm around Thor's shoulders, face flushed with wine, and continues vigorously telling a tale to their friends one evening in a tavern as everybody in earshot doubles over laughing.

The day he is crowned king he tells Loki that his magic, all of his magic is free for him to use as he pleases. It's not an impulsive decision. He's been turning the idea in his mind ever since his failed attempt to find a way to break the vile bond. This seemed like an suitable alternative. As king of Asgard, he has the power to protect Loki if he gets himself into trouble, provided that Loki doesn't deal with the trouble on his own, of course. Which should be easy for him with his powers at their peak.

Of course, he convinces himself that he is ready for the possible fall out. Ready for Loki to turn against him.

Loki watches him mutely after he speaks the words and then he looks down at his hands, as if in wonder, before currents of power spring from his fingers and the entirety of their rooms light up – every torch and candle is lit and there is a glow in the air itself. Upon closer examination, Thor sees the tiniest specks of light glittering in every inch of the space. A tree grows inside the bath. All of Thor's leggings, folded in the closet, become soft silk stockings in various shades of red and pink. Two chairs sprout antlers and chase each other across the room.

But that's all.

And it gets easier after that. With every moment that Loki spends by Thor's side even though he is able to leave, with every moment that he spends whispering counsel into Thor's ear instead of bringing ruin to Asgard, with every touch he grants Thor instead of tearing him apart, he lets himself believe.

He comes to their rooms one day, tired beyond bearing and eager to forget everything in the warmth of Loki's embrace, even if just for the night. He sees his brother standing before an empty hearth.

Loki hears him approaching and turns, making a gentle motion to stop him from coming any closer.

"My apologies," he says and he sounds off, though Thor can't tell why exactly.

"What's wrong?" he asks, heart filling with the old dread.

"There are things I need to do. I will be back."

"Where are you going?" Thor demands, but deep down, he knows it's futile. Loki's gaze is turned towards Thor's face, but he isn't looking at him.

"I'm already gone."

Thor nods, swallowing hard. He has grown to recognize Loki's doubles. "Will you... will you come back?"

He voice almost breaks and his fists are clenching in an unsatisfactory attempt to stop his body from trembling.

"I will." The image Loki is projecting doesn't hesitate in its reply. "Don't waste your time looking for me, brother. I will be back when I need to."

Thor nods again. "Be careful."

Loki's double smiles and it seems so genuine that Thor feels a little comforted. Then the double comes closer, walking through Thor until the image simmers away and dissolves into nothing but fading specks of green.

Thor goes through the motions of getting ready to sleep, missing Loki's presence at every steps and lies down, burrowing his face in a pillow and willing himself to believe.

These happy months made him selfish. Soft. Not ready.

Loki's absence and the fear of losing him remind him of the depth of his need. And that reminds him that he has no right to desire what he does and it's the old hopeless circle all over again.

Summer ends and fall brings more rain than usual, courtesy of Thor's thoughts that often leave him unable to stop the downpour. His friends send him looks full of worry, but mostly they don't dare approach him with questions. That's both a curse and a blessing. He wishes nothing more than to finally unburden all of his thoughts and fears, but it's all but impossible. He pretends that Loki is away on his own orders to keep the whispers to minimum. Pretends he doesn't miss him terribly. The only person who knows the truth is his Mother and over the months, he spends more than a few moments in her warm embrace, drawing strength from her faith when his own abandons him.

And then, finally, he enters his, their, rooms one night and knows that something is different. It's not just instinct – he can feel something and... the air. It's warmer and a bit moist.

He walks through the chambers and the sensation grows stronger until he is finally at the source. The bathroom door is cracked open and beyond is something quite reminiscent of a hot sauna – mist and warmth and in the midst of it is Loki, floating on his back in the tub.

Thor stands on the threshold, his heartbeat speeding up almost painfully.

"Loki," he chokes out and his brother rises his head from the water.

"Ah, you're here early. Not shrinking your duties I hope?"

Thor opens his mouth furtively, at loss for words.

Amusement is clearly visible on Loki's face and he flicks his fingers. Thor can only yelp as the the damp air suddenly wraps around him – Loki has stripped him of his clothing.

"Might as well join me."

And something changes in Thor – something breaks... no, something sprouts in him, like a plant from seed, and it grows, healthy and strong. He enters the bathtub and pulls Loki into his arms, pressing them together in the hot water and kisses Loki deeply, tasting the clean droplets on his lips. He sucks and nibs and licks until all he tastes is Loki.

"I've missed you," he murmurs into Loki's neck and promptly sucks a mark into the same spot.

Loki hums in agreement, his legs wrapped around Thor's waist. Thor pulls back just a fraction to get a good look at Loki's face and he grins widely.

"It's good to see you," he tells Loki and strokes his cheek.

"I shouldn't tell you the same," Loki teases. "You have enough sycophants at your heels, my king."

And when he finally manages to coax Loki out of the bath, he spreads him on the bed, settling himself between his thighs and lies silently with his head pillowed on Loki's breast, listening to his heartbeat.

"Do you have tales to tell or will you guard your secrets?" he asks before nuzzling Loki's skin, taking in the missed scent.

Loki cards his fingers lightly through Thor's hair and he pushes into the touch, aware that he acts like a needy cat.

"Both actually."

"Very well," Thor smiles and turns his head enough to plant kisses over Loki's collarbones.

"You seem different," Loki notes after a few minutes of this lazy pleasure. "Happy."

"You were gone and now you are back," Thor replies simply. He probably wouldn't be able to explain himself even if he wanted. He's simply... not afraid anymore.

He was reminded of who Loki is. Of his strength. Or the multitude of his facets, talents, wishes.

"Indeed. Did you doubt my word?"

Thor cocks his head at Loki and considers his answer. "I didn't doubt you. I doubted myself."

And Loki seems to understand. He gives Thor a small nod and tugs him higher, until Thor is leaning on his arms above Loki and they are watching each other closely.

Then Thor drops his head and captures Loki's lips in a slow kiss, keeping his breathing steady for as long as he can manage, until Loki is squeezing his arms too hard and his hips find a stubborn rhythm, trying to tease Thor from this listlessness.

But Thor resists for the moment, stroking Loki's tongue with his own, until Loki lets go of his arms and pinches Thor's ass, laughing into his mouth when he yelps. Then Loki takes advantage of Thor's spluttering and sneaks a hand between their bodies, aligning their cocks together and stroking them both. They are warm and a little damp from the bath and drops of pre-spending soon ease the way of Loki's hand, mingling together and slicking the motions.

Thor comes first, too starved and tense to last and then watches as Loki squeezes his eyes shut in bliss when Thor wraps his own hand around Loki's cock and works him towards release, not holding back or teasing this time.

"Darling," he whispers into Loki's ear when Loki bucks and shouts out a muffled curse, unable to stop the current of affection. "Brother."

"You have a peculiar use for that word," Loki murmurs in between deep breaths, but he sounds amused, not angry.

"Well, my brother is a peculiar creature," Thor tells him fondly and Loki smacks him for it, opening his eyes and relaxing under Thor's weight.

"I am, aren't I?" Loki sighs thoughtfully. "I never thought... but here I am. But I think you are entirely to blame."

"If you were anything other than you are, we wouldn't be here."

Loki tenses for a second and Thor runs the words over in his mind, searching for the fault, but then Loki grows soft, pliant against Thor again and a small chuckle reverberates in his chest.

"I digress. Now, what trouble have you gotten yourself into while I was gone?"

"Me? You're the one who has been running across the Nine realms. I merely... ruled," he finishes lamely and Loki shakes with laughter.

"Yes, which is precisely why I asked."

Thor silences him with a kiss and Loki retaliates by pinching Thor nipple, which leads to more kissing and more jostling, until they are flushed and breathing hard, laughter having long since slipped from their lips and given way to something much more intense.

Thor wants to say something; a reassurance, a plea, an apology all fighting for their way out, but Loki interjects before he can decide on one.

"We live, Thor."

He nods.

Yes, they live. That is the crux of it. They make mistakes, but ultimately keep moving forward.

It's enough.