SO sorry this took forever and a day! I've been suffering a bit of writers block and just got cast in a play (just a background role it being my first time with this company but we'll see where it goes!) We're doing Aladdin and I'm one of the dancers! (yay I love my part!) so yeah. I will try to update more though as I get ideas. I know where I want this story to go and what I want to do after it... it's just getting there that's the tricky part lol. Like I said some writer's block issues so this chapter isn't one of my best and I'm not as happy with it as some others bit I really needed to update so yeah... ok now see ya!

Chapter 13:

Awake

I opened my eyes. Tubes. Tubes everywhere. My eyes hadn't adjusted to the light. It was more light than I'd seen in months… so bright… when my vision finally started to clear I saw Russia sitting beside me. I was too disoriented to fight him… I just stared at him, confused and a bit scared. I couldn't talk, there was a tube down my throat and another in my nose… it was uncomfortable… I looked over at him, trembling a little.

He touched my face almost threateningly. "Oh GDR, you shouldn't have cried so much. It wasn't good for you. Didn't I tell you not to cry?"

I just nodded a little, looking away. He grabbed my face and turned it back to him. I still trembled, only more. That had hurt…

"Don't cry next time."

I shuddered, nodding, crying.

Russia looked over at the monitor for my heart. "Am I scaring you?"

I nodded.

He smiled… that creepy smile… "I'm sorry about that. I can't help it if you feel bad for disobeying me."

I felt so sick…

"You're going to try harder next time right?" He smiled.

I nodded.

"Good." He smiled, walking out of the room, leaving me alone again… I didn't mind.

* * * Three years later * * *

Russia handed me the empty bottle and ordered me to get him another one. I did. I just nodded with a 'yes sir' and obeyed. I hated it. I felt so dead. So completely dead. How could I be just listening to him? I didn't fight him at all now. It'd been a long time since I'd fought him… I'd grown used to my fate… I hated that I had but I had. Fighting Russia was useless. How was I supposed to argue with that pipe? It had already broken almost every bone in my body… many more than once. I was smart enough not to pick a fight with it now… I avoided it like the Baltics did. I didn't even try to fight for them like I used to… I would stand with which ever two weren't being 'punished', feel horribly guilty for not doing anything, and look the other way… I didn't know who I was anymore. Russia kept trying to help. Trying to reassure me that everything was all right. That it was those outside, like my brother, who were the enemies. That I wouldn't believe. I would never believe that… never ever! I couldn't believe that the little boy I'd raised as a monster now… but… Russia was pretty convincing sometimes… but West had never hurt me. Just his boss… West would never hurt me… right?

It was late. I was tired. When Russia finally let me go home, and he did give me a small house, not just a little stone cell anymore, I collapsed in my bed and fell asleep. I woke at around 2am to a knock on the door…

"G…Gil?"

I knew that voice. I got up and opened the door. "Come here." I hugged the trembling little Baltic. "What's wrong?"

"Nightmares…" He looked up at me, tears in his eyes.

"About…?"

Latvia nodded and I understood. Who didn't have nightmares about Russia in this place?

"All right, you can stay." I smiled gently. I grabbed the extra blanket from the shelf and gave it to him as he curled up in my bed. I laid down beside him and wrapped my arms around him, since he was shivering and I was getting cold too. I pulled the blanket up and watched the little blond sleep. He reminded me so much of West when he was little. He'd kill me if I told anyone, but West used to be scared of thunder, he still is, just not as much. He used to come and crawl in with me every time there was a thunderstorm. Then he'd sleep peacefully… and I would watch him sleep. Tears filled my eyes. I did miss West… I missed him a lot…

Very suddenly Latvia started thrashing around, screaming. "Sh… sh…" I tried to sooth him… tried to wake him. When he did finally wake up his eyes were full of terror. "What happened?" I asked holding him gently as he clung to me.

"R…Russia…" He whispered, then started sobbing.

"Sh…" I rocked him a little gently. "I won't let him hurt you. He's not here." I bit my lip. I won't let him hurt you… how many times had I looked away already? Too many times…

He looked up at me, trembling. "N… no… he… he didn't hurt me… he… he hurt you…"

I was surprised. That had made Latvia cry like this? I hugged him. "It's ok. He doesn't hurt me anymore you know that."

"Yes he does! You just pretend it doesn't hurt…" Latvia cried.

I sighed. I couldn't deny that… "I…"

"Gil… please be careful." He hugged me.

I nodded. "Ok I will." I sighed.

"You're a good big brother."

That did it. As soon as he said that I started sobbing. I hadn't cried in a long time… it'd been too long since I'd cried. Every since I first got here I'd only cried alone… or… at least only sobbed alone…but I couldn't hold it back.

Latvia seemed to understand and he just hugged me. "It's ok…." He whispered, hugging me as I hugged him back.

I nodded, trying to get a hold of myself and calm down. After a few minutes I managed to. Then I looked at Latvia again with a sad smile.

"I'm tired Gil…" He laid back down on the pillow.

I smiled and rested my head beside his. "Ok." I smiled, pulling him into a hug. We both fell asleep. Less than an hour later we were both awakened to hear this unearthly shrieking… it was coming from the direction of Russia's room. Thunder rumbled outside and it was pouring. Something was going on and it wasn't good. I stood up to investigate but Latvia grabbed my hand.

"No! It's Russia! He's… he's having nightmares too… d… don't go in there he'll kill you!"

"I'm a country. I'm pretty hard to kill." I nodded.

"No… you… you don't understand! You can't go!"

"Let me go Latvia." I nodded.

He looked up at me then sighed, letting go. I may not be very awesome anymore but I'm still stubborn and everyone in the house knows it. The halls were dark, and with the thunder, lighting, and Russia's screams it was more than a little bit creepy. I found my way to his door… with a deep breath I opened in. I froze, just staring for a while. Russia was kicking and screaming on his bed, the covers tangled around him, his hair a mess… his face and arms were scratched and I could see from the blood on his fingers that he'd done it himself, though unintentionally it seemed…

"Russland!" I ran up to him and tried to wake him. He didn't fight me, he clung to me. "Wake up!" I tried to shake him. Eventually he did wake up, but still clung to me like a scared child.

"GDR?"

"It's ok… it was a dream…" I bit my lip. Would he be angry at me? I looked down at him and he looked up. His gaze drifting to my bruises… "Did I do that?"

I nodded with a sigh. "Ja…"

"I'm sorry…" He teared up.

"Russia… what was your dream?"

"I… Alexei… I… I watched him die again… I can't count how many times in my head I've watched him die…"

I bit my lip. I knew who he was talking about Alexei Romanov, the last little Prince of Russia, killed July 17th at 13 years old. He was stabbed with bayonets, shot in the chest, and eventually finished off with two shots to the head. No wonder Russia had nightmares…

"Sometimes I wonder if his ghost is in this house… or his sisters…" he sighed. "They were all so young…"

I nodded. "Russia…?" I was afraid to ask…

"Da?" He looked up at me.

"Why do you… I mean… this isn't working. You're people are dying… Stalin is…"

He sighed. "I know… but… but communism will work it's just… finding the right leader… he isn't Stalin… he's… he's killing my people…" he sighed.

I nodded. I agreed.

"I'll find a great leader someday… someday…" He sighed again. "Are you on my side Gilbert?"

I blinked. He'd never called me that before. I nodded. "Ja. I'm with you." I nodded.

He smiled sadly. "I'm glad…" He nodded, touching my bruise. "I'm so sorry…" He sighed. "Have I hurt the others? Are they all right?"

"You do hurt us… but… right now most of us are fine…" I nodded.

"Most of us?"

"Just me. I'm the only one a little banged up…"

Russia nodded with another sigh. "Again… I'm sorry."

I nodded back. "Can you sleep now?" I was so tired…

He smiled gently, a real, actual, human, non-creepy, smile. "Da. Spasiba."

I nodded with a smile in return and headed for the door.

"Oh and GDR?"

I turned back, "Ja?"

"I know when I wake up I won't remember any of this so… I'm sorry in advance if I hurt you again…" he sighed.

I smiled, nodding. "Yeah don't worry about it." I smiled.

He nodded back, falling asleep.

I went back to my room and did the same…