AN: Sorry for the delay, I was out of town. This is a bit of a filler chapter, but I hope ya'll enjoy it. To LovelessZim and every other person who has reviewed this story and kept me writing, though i'm clearly struggling with it. Two more chapters, then a possible one-shot part 2.
Harry feels some unknown tug pulling him north when he leaves the house, so he heads north, apparating in short jumps as he acclimates to steady travel; and when he can remember his geography. At first, he thinks that he's heading towards Hogwarts; that Hogwarts is what is calling to him but once he reaches Hogsmeade, the pull is still there. He stops for lunch at the Three Broomsticks and heads to the Post Office to see if they have a map of the surrounding areas; they do and he's off again.
As he looks at the map in his hand he feels a tug towards a spot on the map, way up in the Highlands, named Dingwall. He makes two short jumps, stopping twice in the wonderful Cairngorms National Park, on the southern edge then again on the northern edge. When he arrives in Dingwall, he is at a loss as to what he should do. He wanders aimlessly, trying to sort out everything running through his head.
Primarily, what happened the night before? Severus could tell him until he turned blue that all of them were okay with what happened, but there was no way that all of them had acted of their own volition. Sirius and Remus would have never fucked him like that if he hadn't forced the issue with his freaky pheromones. He'd forced the issue with whatever he was now, and he hated himself for it. However, even in his own head he couldn't ignore how utterly right having all of them in his bed and body had been.
He found himself at the castle that he'd been seeing signs for all over the city, Tulloch Castle. He passed by a field full of sheep gently grazing as his mind kept whirring round and round with miserable thoughts of how to fix his life. He took a seat on a conveniently placed bench just next to the wall surround the castle. He didn't know how long he'd sat there when someone sat down beside him and tried to strike up a conversation. Or rather, someone began talking to him as though they were already having a conversation.
"…you look just like her, you know. To think, her great grand-son is the Harry Potter. WE don't get out from here much, we're not worldly and the lord dislikes when we leave home, but we do know who you are and what you've done for us. I imagine that you're here looking for your people. Well, you've found one of them, I should say. I'd be…let's see. Your grandmother is my cousin so that makes us third cousins on your mother's side? Come, come now, we must head up to the castle. We can take a look at the family tapestry and check to see if I'm right. Oh, goodness me, what have I been thinking, I should introduce myself; my name is Roger." The very, very old wizard who had been talking while Harry only partly listened was now standing in front of Harry holding out his hand and looking like the smile wouldn't come off his face for anything.
Harry forced himself to be polite, even though he only partly had an idea of what this Roger character was talking about. Cautiously, he reached out his hand to shake, and felt the tug of apparition less than a second later. He cursed himself for a fool as the world spun around him.
As Harry was cursing himself miles and miles away, Draco awoke alone to a panic attack. He was hyperventilating when he remembered the night before, not out of shame or upset really, just out of the fact that no one was there when his eyes finally opened after the best night of his life. He shakily got to his feet and padded naked into the bathroom, trying to force breath into his constricted throat and lungs. He fell to his knees sobbing when he saw himself in the mirror; covered in love bites, dried come, saliva and sweat.
He stayed there, naked on the floor, his sobs quieting until Severus came to fetch him for some food and talking. He was understandably distressed at finding Draco in such a state and crouched on the floor next to him, murmuring soothing, nonsense words until he could get Draco off the floor. Severus gently cleaned his face and cast a breath-freshening charm at his mouth before pulling the slightly-more responsive Draco into the bedroom to search for clothing. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a too-large shirt to help Draco into. When the shirt was pulled over his head, Draco heaved out a huge sob and tears began to stream down his face again.
"Draco, whatever is wrong?" Severus asked as softly as he could. Draco turned his watery, grey eyes to his Godfather and sniffled a bit before answering.
"It's Harry's shirt and he's not here. Is he downstairs?" Severus cursed himself in his head as he cast about for an answer that wouldn't set Draco to sobbing once again. There wasn't one.
"No, but I need you to come downstairs with me and eat something. I'll tell you where Harry is once you have some food in you. We all burned a lot of energy last night." Draco nodded as silent tears streamed down his face. He allowed himself to be led down and into a chair at the kitchen table. Sirius, shockingly, was the one to see Draco's feeling on his face and wordlessly got up to get the poor kid some food. Sirius was the only one in the room who knew what it was like to wake up without your mate at your side after a night in heat.
Once Draco was eating, slowly but still eating, Severus sat himself down and looked at each of the three faces at the table. Sirius looked ashamed; Remus looked puzzled; Draco looked sad. He had no idea if what he was feeling was showing on his face, but he didn't really know what he was feeling other than immense amounts of confusion. He chewed the inside of his lip, a habit that he thought he'd dropped back in school, as he tried to figure out what to say. Remus reached across the table slowly and touched his lip, reminding him to stop.
"Harry was raised by Muggles." It was a lame start at best, and probably not the way that he should have gone, but it was out there now as he looked up from the table at three pitying faces.
"This was already knew Severus. I really hope there's more." Sirius snapped at him. Severus didn't manage to cover his wince at Sirius' sharp words.
"Try to think about what happened last night from the perspective of someone who didn't grow up surrounded by magic and magical creatures." Sirius and Draco remained puzzled, but Remus had grown up in a magical household in a muggle neighborhood. He gasped.
"He thinks that he raped us, doesn't he?" Severus chewed his lip again and nodded. Draco's face remained puzzled, but Sirius, who was more familiar with the concept of rape shot up from his chair.
"That's absurd! He's a Gille Dubh! There was no force involved, no coercion, just five consenting adults." He paced back and forth behind the table as the rest of them followed him with their eyes, not saying anything just absorbing this information.
"I think I get it…but where is he?" Draco's small voice piped up and three sets of eyes swiveled to look at him. He flushed under the attention but repeated his question, looking Severus right in the eyes.
"He's gone. He left this morning before you all woke up. He said that he had to think things over. I told him not to, I hold him that none of us would feel the way he feels about last night. It was wonderful and amazing but…he said he needed to think." Severus hated the insecurity he heard in his own voice and was ridiculously pleased when he felt Remus' foot curl around his calf in support. He pressed his leg back against it in thanks. Draco, when he heard those words, started to crumple in on himself again and Sirius rushed to grab him before he could slide out of the chair and onto the floor. Draco had fainted.
"I'm going to take him into the living room and sit with him on the couch; try to talk to him a bit. When I get him calmed…the three of us, I think, need to have a long overdue discussion." Sirius left the room to the bewildering stares of Remus and Severus. As one, they turned to look at each other. Remus spoke first.
"I honestly have no idea." Severus nodded.
"I have two ideas…one is very good and one is very bad."
Sirius settled onto the couch with Draco in his lap, head cradled in the crook of his neck. He listened to the snuffling breath, keeping himself calm, hoping that the steady beat of his heart and his steady breathing would soothe Draco. He felt Draco's tears slowly stop and felt the whisper of his eyelashes against his skin as Draco's eyes fluttered. Sirius decided it was finally time to start talking. Keeping his voice low and calming, he said something aloud that he'd never told another person before.
"I was terrible to Remus before we'd mated. I slept my way through almost every available student at Hogwarts. I was deliberately obtuse about his feeling for me and mine for him. It was a bad time for Remus. Once we finally mated, I was instantly in paradise. That first time was amazing for me; and I hope it was for him too, but we've never talked about it." He paused, unsure of how to continue without painting Remus in a bad light. Since they'd never actually talked about it, even 20 years in the future he wasn't sure what had been going through his mate's head at the time.
"You know how it is for the creature's mate, the first time though. It's like nothing else in the world is it? Though you and I are the mates in the situation, our world narrows to them; the one singular person in the universe, the only light in the universe. Well, Remus left me; afterwards. I woke up alone. I wanted to die. I thought it was Remus getting back at me for being a slut; I couldn't stop thinking about how I was a bad mate and it was all my fault." He felt Draco stiffen and start to pull away but Sirius tightened his arms around the blonde boy.
"It wasn't. It's not your fault and it wasn't my fault. Sometimes… sometimes mates have to do things that they can control. I assure you that Harry would rather be with you right now than wherever he is. He will be back to you. You and I…we have to be strong for them. There's so much that they can't control, but being stupid, they can control that. Sometimes they have to be stupid. And you and I can roll our eyes at them and laugh behind their backs as we stay the supporting, loving mates that they need."