A/N: Enjoy another Inferno inspired prompt!
'Marimo meet foot'
He would never play cards with this woman again. She was worse than Nami. Not only had she sucked him dry of every last penny he had, the rest of his debt was being paid in…services.
"How much shopping do you plan on doing," he growled angrily, kicking a stray box back onto the pile and glaring at the part of her that he could actually see over the mountain of shit she'd bought.
"Shut up, slave."
This was her usual response. He didn't appreciate it.
A shoe store caught her eye and she yelled at him when he continued on down the road without her. She eventually had to just push him through the doors herself.
The clerk wasn't much help. Not that any of them ended up being much help. Actually, screw the buying part. This woman hadn't had to buy a goddamn thing all day, simply because she bewitched everyone who laid eyes on her.
This a cruel, cruel world.
She stepped over the man, currently lying in a pool of his own nose blood, and sat in a cushioned chair looking at Zoro expectantly.
"Well? Hurry up and find something for me to try on."
"Tch. Why do I have to do it?"
"My feet hurt. You have to do it now."
"I'VE BEEN CARRYING YOUR SHIT ALL DAY AND YOU'RE THE TIRED ONE?"
She kicked a shoe at him and the entire mountain of boxes rained down and buried him.
If I don't kill someone by the end of this day…
"I wear a size eight. See if your tiny little brain can manage that."
…it will be a goddamn miracle.
Zoro stared at racks of shoes, all of them looking exactly the same to him.
"Uh, here," he said, throwing some shoes her way. She glared.
"You've got to be kidding me." She threw the shoes and they smashed him in the face. "Try again."
He tried to not fantasize about her getting stabbed.
He made his way over to a different rack across the room, completely bored and looking for something that might get them out of here faster.
Then out of the corner of his eye, he saw some that just kind of…
They were folded up; black satin fabric over the solid heels giving a sexy sheen in the store light. He rolled his eyes, a bit embarrassed these had even caught his eye. They were practically designed for sex.
He wasn't seeing anything else to bypass his decision. Expensive whore boots it was.
"These," he said in a monotone, chucking the boots at her. "Those scream, 'Emotional Hag Seeking Love From An Asexual Moron'."
She looked absolutely pissed at his reference to Luffy. Good.
"Put them on," she ordered. He paled.
"I AM NOT WEARING THOSE."
She threw one of her red heels at his face, the same place everything else seemed to be hitting him today. Why was his jaw not broken yet…
"I mean YOU, the slave, get your ass over here and put them on ME."
Of course. How silly of him.
He dropped to his knees in front of her and gripped her other shoe, yanking it off. He waited for foot smell to be omitted. Nothing came. This pissed him off greatly.
"Your feet smell," he lied. She shoved the wrongly accused foot in his face, gritting her teeth in annoyance.
"HURRY UP, MORON."
Zoro had had it.
"YOU WANT YOUR BOOTS ON? I'LL PUT YOUR GODDAMN BOOTS ON."
He shoved her foot through the fabric none too gently and slid the fabric up past her knee, pushing her skirt away in the process. She punched him.
"PERVERT."
Well, if that's what she wanted.
He kissed her foot for good measure, and slid the fabric over her leg with his teeth. His hands followed to make sure no wrinkles were left behind.
You will NEVER ask me to do shit for you again, now.
But he was wrong. So very wrong.
"The fabric's too short," she complained loudly, digging a heel into his shoulder. "Pull it until it goes up to my thigh. They're called thigh high boots, you retard."
"IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO DAMN TALL, WOMAN."
"DO AS YOU'RE TOLD."
He climbed onto her, straddling her backwards, and pulled.
"IT'S NOT WORKING."
"YOU'RE NOT DOING IT HARD ENOUGH."
"IT'S ALREADY AT ITS LIMIT."
"What's at its limit?"
Zoro and Hancock looked up, Robin and Nami standing in the shop door. The two stared at Zoro, sweaty, straddled over Hancock with her skirt hiked up to reveal her panties. Wearing expensive, high end hooker boots.
"We'll just…leave you guys alone," Nami said, traumatized. Robin was failing to contain her giggles. They both walked out the door.
There was an awkward silence.
"I'll give you the boots for free, since you seem so enthusiastic in putting them to good use," the clerk said from the floor.
He received a shoe to the face from both of them.